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Matt

Do FSU women really want to marry an older man?

As a western man, I’m told that FSU women will happily accept an older man, 10-20 years older etc.., but during my trips to Russian I generally see young married couples the same age, middle aged couples the same age and married grandparents the same age too. I suspect that it’s not a normal situation to be married to a much older man traditionally in your countries.



Do you think it’s a stereotype caused by older men being financially able to travel in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s and use his financial power to attract younger women in a bad situation. Then the romance industry has use this stereotype as a sale pitch that continues today and FSU women are trapped by this stereotype?

If you had a preference would you prefer to marry a man your age and if so would your family also prefer you marry a man your age too?

I know I’m my situation, I met a wonderful Russian woman several years ago the same age as me (44) and if all goes well after covid restrictions lift we will have a life together. Before she met me another man over 10 years older showed interest in her and met her parents. Her mother told her after he broke it off for a younger woman, that she was happy he left because “he’s too old for you”

I’d love to hear womens thoughts on this subject.

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Tatyana, 42 y.o.

Ukraine

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"Do FSU women really want to marry an older man?" -
Why do you need to know who, why and how is getting married, with what age difference....?) Will this knowledge bring any personal benefit , or benefit to your relationships in your personal life...? Do you know ? "Norm" is such a mythical concept, everyone prescribes norms for himself... I have always liked men, at least 6 years older than me, even better - 10. I also admit a difference of up to 20 years. But men of my age have always seemed to me some kind of "younger brothers" who need to "wipe their nose" , who need to be raise up by my help... I can't even explain to you what it is connected with....I never had yougest brothers , but I have such thoughts about men same with my age .
I can say one thing: you are TOOO much and Soo much puzzled by "public opinion" and "what people will say".... Don't waste your time on this. Build your life, your relationships and your family the way YOU! want it... And who knows, maybe in 20 years you will also be attracted to young girls, and peers will not be interesting . Time will tell. There is no need to run in front of the locomotive, live today, and only as you like, without wasting time on "like others".

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Tatyana, 42 y.o.

Ukraine

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"several years ago the same age as me (44) and if all goes well after covid restrictions lift we will have a life together"...Have you already met this woman in real life ..? (If I may be curious to hava an answer)


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Galina


Я была замужем за нашим мужчиной , который был старше меня более , чем на 10 лет . Твоя теория не работает . Мой бывший муж был беден . Во первых я влюбилась . Во - вторых он красивый . И с годами ( мы встретились с ним через 10 лет у нотариуса ) он не утратил своей привлекательности . Я на сайте знакомств вижу иностранных мужчин . И все они ( я не видела других ) ищут женщина на 15 - 25 лет моложе . Я встречала даже мужчин в возрасте 60 лет , которые указывают возраст женщины 18 - 35 лет . Я делаю выводы , что в ваших странах это норма . В таком случае , почему вы осуждаете Россию за разницу возраста супругов в 10 лет вы осуждаете и подозреваете женщину в меркантильности ?


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Nata

Reply to Galina on View the commented comment

Галя, я конечно не спец в английском, но мужчина никого не осуждает, он просто интересуется


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Matt

Reply to Galina on View the commented comment

Thanks for your perspective. I’ve asked because I’ve come from a western country, been online dating, speed dating and met local western women traditionally in real life and I’ve noticed what you have..... Here on sites like this list of men want to date and marry women a lot younger, but usually they can’t achieve this at home.

It isn’t the norm in a country like Australia, it’s an exception. Often men will date women older than them, some a few years younger, but often around the same age as them. Big age gaps of 10-20 years are not common. This is why I ask this question. Why do men think they can attract a FSU woman, when most can’t achieve this in his home country?... Is it only because the FSU agencies and dating sites promote that it’s possible?

I’m not saying at all that women do this for commercialism. I know most FSU women are looking for genuine love, like most women on this planet are.


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Nata

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Значит ли это, что человек не может спросить то что его интересует?! Вот мужчине хочется знать, он и спрашивает. Зачем и для чего эти поучения взрослому человеку?


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Matt

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Yes we have met before. I’ve spent a handful of one month visits in her city.

We have some obstacles to overcome regarding her ex husband allowing their daughter to move half a world away and she also has some business commitments to work thought, but I remain hopeful for the future.


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Matt

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Please don’t take this as a criticism of the women here, it’s more a reflection of the men who search for a younger wife.

As I said in another reply, it’s an exception that a western man marries a much younger woman and not the norm. Sure some might want to marry a younger woman at home, but rarely he achieves this goal.

I wanted to know why FSU women think this occurs on sites like this and not western dating sites?.... I’m curious


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Matt

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Sorry Tatyana, I forgot to add this to my last reply.

I can’t answer your question about why the men you’ve met that are your age behave the way they do. We obviously come from different cultures.

I have single and married friends your age and most are successful in life, raising a family and financially. They run their own businesses, live in nice houses, and take their family on regular holidays They are amazing fathers, who attend school functions and take an active toll in their children’s life and education. At home they share the chores... cook, clean wash clothes and dishes. Most are romantics and always treat their wives and girlfriends with respect and affection. They are willing to support their wife emotionally and talk constructively through problems
They are strong men in the traditional sense, who care deeply for everyone around them, especially family. They were raised that way and have shown these qualities from their teen years.

`


In our culture the age of a man has nothing to do with the type of man he is.... so in this situation would you prefer to marry a man your own age or an older man?


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Galina

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Поняла , спасибо


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Galina

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Thanks for the answer . Indeed , I think most people are looking for true love after all.


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Matt


I do apologise for any spelling mistakes. I’m typing on a phone. If you don’t understand my replies please as for to clarify.

Also don’t take anything I say as criticism of the women here. I’m criticising men who don’t see the the wonderful qualities that women their own age have.

I’m curious about your thoughts on this subject.

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Tatyana, 42 y.o.

Ukraine

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Reply to Matt on View the commented comment

"It isn’t the norm in a country like Australia, it’s an exception. Often men will date women older than them, some a few years younger, but often around the same age as them."
I have heard the exact same opinion about America... My girlfriend got married with man from usa. She says that marriages with a big age difference are rare there... In addition, she said that there are more men than women. Therefore, women have a huge choice. She also says that Slavic women mostly stand out from American women in that they are more careful and more attentive to what to wear, to put on, what kind of makeup to do, that is, they "know how to present themselves" to a man. In addition, they are less demanding of a man. Therefore, they are in a better position.
Someone is likely to read this now and say "it isn't."
I personally have not been to America. I share the opinion of my friend.

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Tatyana, 42 y.o.

Ukraine

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Reply to Matt on View the commented comment

"so in this situation would you prefer to marry a man your own age or an older man?"_
No . Even in this situation, I would prefer a man older than me.
In my life there have been men like your description: my age (2 years difference), financially prosperous, good job, caring, infinitely loving, who knows how to put a smile on my face, physically attractive, besides that, he cooks great food  , a wonderful host of the house.
But, I got married. I married another , who is older than me. Perhaps this is something personal) Someone else's soul - darkness... 
Probably, marriages are concluded in the celestial office) think about it 😁

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Tatyana, 42 y.o.

Ukraine

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Reply to Matt on View the commented comment

I sincerely wish you good luck in resolving all these difficulties. But I think there shouldn't be any difficulties either. If her daughter is already 15 years old, then in three years the girl herself will decide where to go and with whom to live. I got it right, didn't I? A girl of 15 years old? I made this conclusion because you said that the story of your woman is similar to that of Svetlana.

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Tatyana, 42 y.o.

Ukraine

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Reply to Nata on View the commented comment

Он спросил - а я ответила ) теперь я спрашиваю - и он ответил ) и ЧТО ?

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Tatyana, 42 y.o.

Ukraine

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Reply to Nata on View the commented comment

"Зачем и для чего эти поучения взрослому человеку?"-
Вот именно ...зачем мне , взрослому человеку , эти Ваши поучения ???😳 Залайте , лучше , Мэту вопрос лично от себя .


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Nata

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А в чем мои поучения?

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Liudmila, 52 y.o.

Germany

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Проблема может заключаться в том, что после совершеннолетия этой девочке может быть невозможно въехать в страну вместе с матерью по воссоединению. Я не в курсе нюансов законодательства Австралии, но во многих странах потому и стараются ввозить детей до 18-ти летия, потому что потом это уже невозможно. Ну и конечно же период адаптации - чем раньше тем лучше и успешнее.

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Tatyana, 42 y.o.

Ukraine

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В этом да ....чем раньше , тем лучше . Я не знакома с законодательством Австралии , но предполагаю что есть какие-то лазейки и после 18 лет ... А в Германии ? Если бы Вы сразу не забрали сына ? Мог бы он с вашей помощью после 18 стать полноправным гражданином по праву того что вы там замужем ? Или нет ?

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Liudmila, 52 y.o.

Germany

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Возможно и есть.
Что касается немецкого закона об иностранцах, то он предусматривает возможность воссоединения совершеннолетних детей с родителями только в случае крайней необходимости - если будет доказано, что они (дети) нуждаются в постоянном уходе. По так называемым гуманитарным соображениям, если совершеннолетний ребенок болен. Для этого родителю надо иметь определенный уровень дохода, чтобы обеспечить совершеннолетнего ребенка частной медицинской страховкой.
А в остальных случаях въезд только на общих основаниях.
Даже воссоединение 16-18-летнего отпрыска иногда является "тяжелым случаем", чиновники обращают внимание на перспективу интеграции, знание языка.
И это только про въезд, про огражданивание речь не идет. А несовершеннолетний ребенок может огражданиться уже после 3 лет проживания на территории страны вместе с мамой - супругой немецкого гражданина.

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Tatyana, 42 y.o.

Ukraine

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У меня есть знакомая в Украине , дама в возрасте . Так вот , её дочь вышла замуж за австралийца , давно это было , лет 10 назад . Ребёнка своего она сразу не забрала ...девочка закончила 11 классов в Укр , и только потом , в возрасте 16 лет , уехала к маме в Австралию .
Понятное дело , что чем раньше , тем скорее "станет на крыло" тот же ребёнок . Но если бывший муж не выпускает из страны ребёнка , женщина остаётся перед сложным выбором ....на одной чаше весов - любимый мужчина и личная жизнь , на второй - кровиночка 😁 которому посвятила N ное количество лет жизни . Значит , как ещё оказывется , не так просто после 18 лет будет въехать в страну . Но думаю что выход всё равно есть . Может быть , въезд по программе обучения , политическое убежище , в конце концов ...всё нужно изучать и рассматривать , если появляется такая необходимость .


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Galina

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Мне однажды был предложили вариант усыновления . Интересно , он работает для въезда ребёнка 16-18 лет ?

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Liudmila, 52 y.o.

Germany

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Работает, если начать усыновление заранее, оно же длится не 1 день. Или если есть все предпосылки, то возможен вариант признания отцовства. Причем ребенок получает право не только въехать, а уже с немецким паспортом. Усыновление дает этому ребенку сразу гражданство.

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Liudmila, 52 y.o.

Germany

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"Может быть , въезд по программе обучения , политическое убежище , в конце концов ...всё нужно изучать и рассматривать , если появляется такая необходимость ."
Конечно, это и есть "на общих основаниях". Вы же спросили про воссоединение, я про него и отвечала. А так ребенок после совершеннолетия может приехать учиться/жениться/работать, но все эти варианты он может осуществить и без мамы в стране.


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Galina

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Спасибо Людмила !

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Liudmila, 52 y.o.

Germany

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Gerne  !

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Inessa, 56 y.o.

Russia

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Уважаемый Matt! У каждой женщины есть свои предпочтения . Мне нравятся мужчины немного моложе меня ,хотя мой папа был старше моей мамы на 20 лет ,и он был не богатый .

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Irina, 50 y.o.

Ukraine

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Because we see mens profiles and their wishes and demands!And many men here have these demands really!i really dont know why they think,that ours women would like a partner much more older.In reality many women wanted as a partner man of their age.

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Jonny, 46 y.o.

Canada

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I married my wife from Dnipropetrovsk and she was 10 years younger then me. To be honest with you. After my divorce. I went out to the pubs in the city that I was living at the time which was Calgary and I met and dated plenty of women that were just starting university or mid way through, so their ages were ranging from 19 to 24 and I was 35 but I had a great career and was making pretty decent bank plus pretty handsome if I do say so myself. I thought why would I choose a higher age if I was getting this back in Canada. But those were just flings to me and I had no intention on dating them longer because anyone whose dated around knows that women don’t know what they want till they are 25 to 26 years old. At least in my experience. Plus Canadian women aren’t marriage material. Everyone knows Canadian women are the worst on earth.

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