A Story you might just Love:-
I was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing I noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for me.
He handed me a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wasu, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'
Taken aback, I read the card. It said: Wasu's Mission Statement:
To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.
This blew me away. Especially when I noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!
As he slid behind the wheel, Wasu said, 'Would you like a
cup of coffee? have a thermos of regular and one of
I said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink."
Wasu smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, lassi, water and orange juice.'
Almost stuttering, I said, 'I'll take a Lassi." Handing me my drink, Wasu said, 'If you'd like something
Handing me my drink, Wasu said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Hindu, Times of India, ET and India Today!
As they were pulling away, Wasu handed me another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.
And as if that weren't enough, Wasu told me that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.
Then he advised me of the best route to my destination for that time of day. He also let me know that he'd be happy to chat and tell me about some of the sights or, if preferred, to leave me with my own thoughts.
'Tell me, Wasu,' I was amazed and asked him, 'have you always served customers like this?'
Wasu smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then heard about power of choice one day.'
'Power of choice is that you can be a duck or an eagle. 'If you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. Stop complaining!'
'Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd. 'That hit me right,' said Wasu.
'It is about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.' 'I take it that has paid off for you,' I said.
'It sure has, Wasu replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I
'It sure has, Wasu replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on it.'
Wasu made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.
If You Think You Are Going Nowhere In Life, Take A Deep Breath And Read This
In today’s fast-paced world, we are all in a hurry. In a hurry to get to where we are going, in a hurry to get successful, in a hurry to get things done. We get dejected when things don’t happen our way, when results are not achieved instantly. It’s a race and we are scared of being left behind. The age of achievement has decreased. Fifteen-year-olds are developing codes and selling websites. By the time you are 25, you have a company of your own. Or you are an accomplished musician who has travelled the world. People are doing too much in too little time. Only some people.
And that is scaring the hell out of us. If at 25, you are still slogging it out in a 9-to-6 job, you feel worthless. All your friends are getting married and posting pictures of their honeymoon to New Zealand or some exotic destination you can’t even afford to think of in the next 2 years. Time is running out; the world is running past you and you…you find yourself struggling to even get up from bed.
Relax. Take a deep breath. Don’t compare yourself with others. The world is full of all kinds of people – those who get successful early in life and those who do later. There are those who get married at 25 but divorced at 30, and there are also those who find love at 40, never to part with them again. Henry Ford was 45 when he designed his revolutionary Model T car. A simple message for this:
“You are unique, don't compare yourself to others.
Someone graduated at the age of 22, yet waited 5 years before securing a good job; and there is another who graduated at 27 and secured employment immediately!
Someone became CEO at 25 and died at 50 while another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years.
Everyone works based on their 'Time Zone'. People can have things worked out only according to their pace.
Work in your “time zone”. Your Colleagues, friends, younger ones might "seem" to go ahead of you. May be some might "seem" behind you. Everyone is in this world running their own race on their own lane in their own time. God has a different plan for everybody. Time is the difference.
Obama retires at 55, Trump resumes at 70. Don't envy them or mock them, it's their 'Time Zone.' You are in yours!”
Early success doesn’t mean a happy life. You could open a company at 25, you could also go bankrupt at 30 if the company dissolves. You could find success at 40, and perhaps you’d be more well-equipped to handle it then. Whatever happens, happens for a reason.
Maybe that lost job was not right for you. Maybe you are meant to hone your skills for something great later. There is no right time. We get things when we are ready for them. When it doesn’t happen for you, it means it’s not supposed to happen right now. No point worrying yourself sick and envying another.
Spend your time polishing your personality, acquiring new skills, learning a new language – create the person you want to be in future. Create the personality that will match your success. Work towards your goal at your own pace. Everybody has their own timeline. What if you are meant to do something worthwhile in some years when you are older and wiser, but you were too busy feeling bad about yourself and drowning your woes in alcohol. Imagine the regret.
Opportunities never cease to come. If today is not your day, it could be tomorrow. Don’t stop living your life just because it isn’t happening.
When you say that you're 'working on' yourself,
When you say that you're 'working on' yourself, what do you mean? Because if it's continuing the same routine that you've had for years in hope that you will find what you're looking for within then you're doing it wrong. If you're working on yourself then truly work on yourself. Start a journal. Take long baths. Sleep for at least 8 hours. Begin saying 'no' to things that you don't want to do and make more time for things that you do. And if you don't know what you want then brainstorm. Start cooking fresh meals and make effort to grab a coffee with your friend, and call your mother to have that difficult conversation that you've been putting off for so long. Do some trauma work. Focus on ways to ease your anxiety. Go on walks. Listen to health and positivity podcasts. Watch comedy skits. Read self-help books and stories that inspire you. Listen to uplifting music. Watch great movies. The point is be in motion. It's not enough to continue the same routine that you've had for the last few years. Because working on yourself requires effort. It requires change. It requires you to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. It requires you to talk about the difficult stuff, the scary stuff, the painful and heart-breaking stuff. Because if you want to grow then you truly need to work on yourself and for that you need to do something, anything, rather than nothing at all.
5 QUALITIES to look for in a LIFE PARTNER
5 QUALITIES to look for in a LIFE PARTNER
1. EMPATHY : A person who is able to understand your point of view along with his approach. That person should be able to put himself/herself in your shoes.
2. HUMOUR : This quality wins everyone over! When situations are tensed, then Humour eases. Those moments from bad to better and you can't be upset from such person for long.
3. COMMUNICATION: When 2 people live together they experience love and conflicts, both and to solve those conflicts. Your life partner should have PATIENCE as well as Communication skills and A willingness to TALK , So that during such moments, your partner doesn't stop talking. Instead he/she should be able to sit with you to resolve issues.
4. UNDERSTANDS EMOTIONS: We maybe very smart, but sometimes our emotions get better of us! If in any situation we get very angry then, He/She should understand us, our emotions.our partner should take a CALM APPROACH. Our partner shouldn't criticise us but help us!
5. GROUND RULES : Initial phase of relationship is very beautiful but then you see differences affecting you. So that's why, it's very important to set some Ground Rules for Example which things acts as triggers to you both? In any situation you both will not insult each other, no disrespect of each other, not making your partner feel jealous, So a LIFE PARTNER should have this clarity!
6 Common mistakes people make while choosing a life partner
6 Common mistakes people make while choosing a life partner
1. Some people believe that: "Everything will be all right after we get married".- Actually it's wrong assumption.If it's not going good now, Then how it will be going good ahead?
2. Some people think: It is enough as long as we are in love", and they believe that marriage is only a matter of two people; as long as they love each other, they can overcome all difficulties and tolerate all the faults of each other. - It's actually not true. Love matters, but also remember love depends on different factors in life.
Understanding, bonding, independent, nature, behavior, communication and many other things.
Relationship should be a happy place, where happiness is shared everyday. Sometimes, sadness and fights are ok but it shouldn't be routine.
3. Commitments made only on the basis of emotional impulse result into regret ahead.Always take a decision when you are not in any emotions.Either happiness or sadness. Excitement or boredom.
4. Choose a partner who has a different way of communication from yourself.Because, if the communication style is same.No one would be actually ready to communicate differently and resolve the fight or issues in a relationship.
5. Some people think "This point of his or her can't satisfy me, Ok, it doesn't matter. Let it go.At least, I can change him or her", "He/she will surely change for me".Actually, it is almost impossible to change an adult.
6. Some people choose a life partner based on money or looks rather than inner qualities.They think that material conditions are the basis of love, which is totally wrong. Whether two people can have a lasting relationship, mainly depends on the inner qualities.
Robert, 35 y.o.
Can someone help me understand the mentality here. A lot of girls on this this website claim to want a relationship but quite a few literally force you to carry the conversation. What I mean by that is you are expected to generate all the conversation and questions, that is understandable for the first few messages but quickly starts to become irritating and condescending especially when you have been communicating for a week or more. Where I was raised it generally means the girl wants you to go away as quickly as possible. A relationship generally means two communications or am I missing something here?
The right person will welcome you in your entirety
The right person will welcome you in your entirety—with all your burdens and struggles, with your blemishes, your rough corners, and with your darkness; the one that you try hard to hide from everyone but them. The right person will know what to do with you when you feel like a mess-they will wrap their arms around you as tightly as they can so you don't fall apart. The right person will listen to you attentively, and when they don't know what to say they will look at you with kind eyes and a gentle smile that will make everything okay. But they won't lie to you to make you feel better. The right person will be honest, even if it hurts, because they will know that it will make you a stronger and better person. The right person will know that your past doesn't define you beyond making you who you are today. They will appreciate the lessons you've learnt, and they will accept everything about you even the brutal truths that you wish you could change. The right person will never question your worth, they will cherish your heart and treat you as you are meant to be treated. The right person will come, so don't settle for anything less when you know that you deserve all of this and more.
Some people are only meant to cross paths with you
Some people are only meant to cross paths with you that is all. They are not supposed to stay in your life forever. Some people slip into your life like a rainbow but leave a tornado in their wake making you doubt love and all the good in your life. Making you question whether they truly had to leave, because if they did then why did it feel so wrong? Why did it hurt so much? Because if they had to leave then why did they come into your life to begin with? But they had to. Believe me. Some people are passers-by in a journey that is all about your growth, healing and happiness. These people arrive in the form of daylight and warmth but leave as hard lessons that you stumble over. These people tuck love into the pleats of your heart but leave fragments of themselves behind. These people teach you how to laugh with your eyes closed and they show you in the truest sense- what it means to let love in. But some people are just a stage in your life. An experience. A temporary fixture. A fleeting moment that won't last forever. And these people, these very soulmates who you would do anything for, teach you that no matter how much you care for each other--sometimes those you love have to leave, and you have to let them.
Good men exist
Good men exist. The only reason why a whole bunch of women are not finding them is because good men do not go to clubs. They do not go to bars, They do not go where there is going to be chaos. Good men stay at home where they know they have some peace and quiet because good men value their peace. Good men also keep their circular friends small because they can tell the difference between a good person and a bad person. If they associate with a bad person, then they're not a good person. Now, are they? Good men value the friendships that they have and they value what they I believe in. So good men are not gonna be surrounding themselves with bad people because that would ruin their piece. They would prefer to be with a small group of friends who have the same values as them, who value peace. A lot of good men also stay at home with their wives and Children because they value families. A lot of good men also go to church because they know that that's where their values lie because they know that church is what makes them a good man. So if you want to know where all the good men are, they're sticking to themselves because they value their peace and quiet`
Хорошие мужчины существуют. Единственная причина, по которой целая куча женщин их не находит, это то, что хорошие мужчины не ходят в клубы. Они не ходят в бары, Они не ходят туда, где будет хаос. Хорошие люди остаются дома, где, как они знают, царит тишина и покой, потому что хорошие люди ценят свой покой. Хорошие мужчины также держат своих круглых друзей маленькими, потому что они могут отличить хорошего человека от плохого. Если они общаются с плохим человеком, то они нехороший человек. Теперь они? Хорошие мужчины ценят дружбу, которая у них есть, и они ценят то, во что я верю. Поэтому хорошие мужчины не собираются окружать себя плохими людьми, потому что это разрушит их часть. Они предпочли бы быть с небольшой группой друзей, которые имеют те же ценности, что и они, которые ценят мир. Многие хорошие мужчины также остаются дома со своими женами и детьми, потому что они ценят семьи. Многие хорошие люди также ходят в церковь, потому что они знают, что именно в этом заключаются их ценности, потому что они знают, что церковь — это то, что делает их хорошими людьми. Итак, если вы хотите знать, где находятся все хорошие мужчины, они держатся за себя, потому что ценят свой мир и покой.
Relationships Are Too Much Work
Relationships are hard work. They require dedication, open-mindedness, and most of all, strength. Strength can help couples get through hard times (which is something most couples go through).
Those who expect their relationships to be a love story straight out of a fairy tale tend to get disappointed as they question the quality of their relationship and wonder if they deserve better.
They think that relationships aren’t supposed to be as hard as they are and that they might be happier by themselves or with someone else.
That kind of thinking is very damaging to relationships as it lets doubt enter couples’ minds. And doubts (if not regulated properly) can make a person feel victimized and neglected and cause detachment (sometimes even resentment).
So keep in mind that relationships are hard work as they are (they don’t even have to have problems). They require a constant investment of time, money, and emotions and a healthy emotional state and relationship mentality.
If a person (not necessarily both people) gets distracted, stressed, depressed, or loses interest, respect, attraction, or love, he or she can hog all the power in the relationship and make the relationship imbalanced, unfair, and unhealthy.
This can, in turn, make the more invested and underprioritized person wonder about his or her place in the relationship and cause him or her to act on anxiety, fear, uncertainty, and anger.
Strong reactions from the neglected person then make the person with unresolved problems even more certain that he or she is unhappy and that the relationship demands that he or she puts in the time and effort he or she doesn’t have or want to put in.
In other words, the relationship smothers him or her, which is exactly the opposite of what he or she needs to self-prioritize and think positively about the relationship.
If a relationship used to be all sunshine and lollipops but it’s not anymore, this doesn’t mean that something’s wrong with the relationship. It just means that the couple has gone through the infatuation phase and that they’ve hit a point where they actually have to put the work in.
Before, they could operate on autopilot and be happy with little to no effort. But after they get to know each other, they need to communicate, express themselves properly, spend time together, ask questions, pay attention to each other’s problems and feelings, empathize, and much more.
This on its own is hard work because it’s what every relationship consists of and needs to survive. If people aren’t ready to invest in their partner, they shouldn’t be in a relationship. They should be figuring out what they want and don’t want so they can work on their problems.
Some people need to process their previous relationships, work on their attachment styles, and get rid of their fears whereas others must set some healthy relationship goals and priorities and develop a desire to be in a serious committed relationship.
Every relationship is different, but that doesn’t suggest that relationships are supposed to be a cakewalk.
How hard they are strictly depends on each individual’s
and overall maturity
If you want your relationship to be easy or as easy as it can be, you shouldn’t point out your partner’s flaws and express discontent (at least not in criticizing ways). You should focus on things that need to improve within you because by doing so, you’ll mature and encourage your partner to do the same.
If you try to change your partner by condemning him or her, all you’ll do is hurt your partner and force him or her to defend himself or herself. Most people say hurtful things back because they feel judged and attacked.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with wanting your partner to grow as no one’s perfect. But the way to go about this is to make it your partner’s idea to grow. That’s the only way your partner will see that you accept him or her and want the best for the relationship.
Avoid saying things like why “can’t you, why do you always, I want you to…” and instead, say “why don’t we try, what do you think we should, how do you want to…”
The only way you’ll encourage self-development is by showing that you accept your partner as he or she is but that you’d like the relationship to benefit from some healthy changes.
When someone really loves you, they make an EFFORT to stick around no matter how hard things get. Because true love meets you in your MESS, not at your BEST.
l am not Saying that anyone should endure abuse. NO.
But I am talking about sticking together through the hard times, the little mistakes, the misunderstandings, the day to day arguments.
True love does not throw in the towels at the first sign of disagreement. True love supports and perseveres.
What are your thoughts?
stop worrying about someone that left you
stop worrying about someone that left
we've all been there you meet someone
you fall in love and then they leave it
feels like the end of the world but it's
not in fact it might be the best thing
that ever happened to you so how do you
stop worrying about someone that left
you first you need to understand that
it's not your fault they left because
they wanted to not because of anything
you did you need to accept that they're
gone they're not coming back no matter
how much you want them to you need to
focus on yourself the best way to stop
worrying about someone that left you is
to focus on yourself you need to
understand that it's not your fault they
left because they wanted to not because
of anything you did you need to accept
that they're gone and focus on what you
want out of life you can't control what
other people do but you can control how
you react to it so instead of worrying
about someone that left you focus on
taking care of yourself after all you
deserve it it's natural to feel a little
down when someone you care about leaves
you but don't dwell on it for too long
there are plenty of other people in the
world who would love to be in your life
after a breakup it's normal to spend
some time dwelling on what went wrong
but eventually you'll need to move on
focus on the positive aspects of the
situation and remember that you're
better off without someone who doesn't
appreciate you soon enough you'll find
someone new to worry about feeling left
behind can result in depression anxiety
and low self-esteem if you find yourself
feeling this way it's important to seek
help this will assist you in exploring
the root of your feelings and help you
develop coping mechanisms don't be
afraid to reach out for help when
someone leaves us it can be hard to
understand why we might feel like we did
something wrong or that we weren't good
enough these feelings are normal but
it's important to remember that the
person who left isn't worth your worry
there are plenty of other people in the
world who would love to be in your life
don't waste your time worrying about
someone who doesn't want to be with you
instead focus on the people who do want
to be in your life and make the most of
those relationships why do we worry
about those that leave us we were worry
about those that leave us because we
think that we did something wrong we
think that if we had just been a little
better a little more perfect they would
have stayed but the truth is people
leave for all sorts of reasons and
usually it has nothing to do with us
it's normal to feel upset and even a
little panicked when someone you care
about walks away from you but there's no
need to dwell on what could have been or
what might happen next instead take this
time to focus on yourself and your own
happiness so next time someone leaves
you instead of worrying about what you
could have done differently focus on
what you can do now to improve your life
you'll be much happier in the long run
letting go and moving on it can be
really tough when someone that you care
about leaves you you may feel like you
will never be able to move on and that
your life will never be the same but it
is important to remember that life does
go on and that you will be able to find
happiness again give yourself time to
grieve it is important to allow yourself
to feel the pain and sadness that comes
with loss don't try to bottle up your
emotions or pretend like everything is
is okay when it's not allow yourself to
cry scream and do whatever you need to
do to release the pain lean on your
friends and family they will be there to
support you and help you through this
tough time let them help you by talking
to them about how you're feeling or by
doing things together that make you
happy also find a positive outlet for
your emotions whether it's writing in a
journal painting or going for walks in
nature find an activity that helps you
express yourself in a positive way this
can be a great way to release some of
the negative emotions you may be feeling
focus on the future it's important to
remember that life goes on and that you
will be able to find happiness again
don't dwell in the past in what could
have been instead focus on the present
and what you can do to make your future
bright seek professional help if you
need it if you find that you're
struggling to cope with your emotions
don't be afraid to seek professional
help a therapist can help you work
through your emotions and develop
healthy coping mechanisms moving on
after someone leaves you is never easy
but it is possible with time patience
and support from loved ones you will be
able to heal your broken heart and find
happiness again also give yourself time
it takes time to heal from A Loss don't
expect to be over it immediately allow
yourself the time you need to grieve and
heal give yourself time
reasons why people leave there are many
reasons why someone might leave you they
may have found someone new they may be
moving away or they may simply not be
interested in you anymore and still
others might leave because they are
simply not ready for a committed
relationship whatever the reason it's
important to remember that you are not
responsible for their decision to leave
and that you should not take it
personally if you are worried about
someone that has left you it is
important to remember that there is no
single reason why people leave
relationships it could be anything from
incompatibility to timing to simply not
being ready for a commitment if you are
worried about someone that has left you
try to remember that there could be any
number of reasons why they made that
decision there are plenty of other
people in the world who would be happy
to be in a relationship with you so
instead of dwelling on the person who
left you focus on finding someone who
will appreciate you for who you are
breaking up is never easy but remember
that it is usually for the best yes it
is for the best
how to stop worrying about someone that
left you it can be difficult to stop
worrying about someone that left you but
there are some things you can do to
manage your anxiety and move on first
try to understand why you are worried
what are you afraid of are you afraid of
being alone of being rejected of never
finding someone else once you identify
your fears you can start to work on
addressing them if you're afraid of
being alone try to focus on the positive
aspects of single life you have more
time for yourself you can pursue your
own interests and you don't have to
compromise with another person if you're
afraid of rejection remind yourself that
not everyone will like or love you but
that doesn't mean there's something
wrong with you and if you're worried
about never finding someone else remind
yourself that there are billions of
people in the world and that it's highly
unlikely that you'll never meet someone
else once you've identified your fears
and started working on addressing them
try to keep yourself busy fill your time
with activities that make you happy and
distracted from your worry spend time
with friends and family pursue a hobby
or volunteer for a cause you're
passionate about the more constructive
and positive things you have going on in
your life the less time and energy
you'll have to spend worrying about
someone that left you it's time to take
a step back and reassess the situation
this person is no longer in your life
for a reason so it's important to
respect their decision and move on stop
worrying about someone that left you I
know it can be difficult to accept that
someone is no longer in your life but
it's important to face the facts if
you're still dwelling on the past it
will be difficult to move on so don't
dwell on what could have been it's
natural to wonder what could have been
but dwelling on possibilities is only
going to make you more upset except that
things didn't work out and focus on the
present and like I said before take some
time for yourself now that this person
is out of your life it's important to
focus on taking care of yourself indulge
in activities that make you happy spend
time with people that make you feel good
and do whatever you need to do to feel
feel better also don't try to replace
them it's tempting to try and find
someone else to fill the void that this
person has left but it's important to
take some time for yourself before
jumping into another relationship you
need to figure out who you are and what
you want without this person so take
some time to grieve the loss of this
person then focus on taking care of
yourself when you're ready you can start
looking for someone new but they'll
force it the right person will come
along when you least expect it and also
don't compare yourself to this person
it's easy to look at someone that left
you and think that you're not good
enough but that's not true everyone is
different and everyone has different
preferences just because this person
didn't want to be with you doesn't mean
that there's something wrong with you so
stop worrying about someone that left
you take some time for yourself focus on
the present and don't compare yourself
to this person you're better off without
it can be tough when someone we care
about leaves us but it's important to
remember that they made their decision
for a reason if someone wants to be in
our lives they will make the effort to
stay worrying about someone who has left
only causes undue stress and pain so
it's best to let them go and focus on
the people who are still here if you're
struggling to cope with the loss of
someone it's important to seek help a
therapist can assist you in exploring
your emotions and developing healthy
coping mechanisms remember it's okay to
ask for help yes ask for help today
If someone wants to be with you
If someone wants to be with you and I mean truly be with you, they will do everything in their power to make sure that you know. There will be no games. No words with hidden meanings. No endless nights where you read over your conversations to try and add pieces to a love puzzle that you have created in your mind. You will just know, and it is as simple as that. You won't have to figure anything out because their words will make it clear to you, their eyes will tell you and their actions will show you. If someone truly wants to be with you, they will do everything in their power to get you. And if they don't. If you find yourself questioning what they say or the things they do, if they confuse you and give you mixed signals, if they imply that they like you, but they don't say it then they do not truly want to be with you. Let me tell you what they are doing. They are trying to hold onto all their options so that they end up picking the right one. They are testing you to see if you are good enough for them. And you, my love, are not an option for anyone. So, remember this well. If someone wants to be with you - they will be with you.
Roman, 41 y.o.
Настоящий мужчина должен :
И этот список может быть очень длинным , а в некоторых случаях бесконечным. Все зависит от фантазии и аппетита женщины и ее умения манипулировать партером Ведь многие мужчины и вовсе не догадываются о том ,что это всего лишь грязная , подлая манипуляция с применением психологического насилия , с целью извлечения собственной выгоды ! Пример: Настоящий мужчина ,чтобы соответствовать статусу , должен нет , просто обязан обеспечивать семью и удовлетворять хотелки его жены , которая вполне осознанно видит в своём партере ни что иное , как поставщика ресурсов для своей (королевы),которая не брезгует и сексом манипулировать ( ты сегодня себя плохо вёл или наоборот секс -как награда) И бежит бедолага изо дня в день в погоне за ништяками, чтобы потом принести и возложить их к ногам своей королевы. Это что получается ? Мужчина Родился , вырос , встретил партнера , переспал и с этого момента он пожизненно кому- то должен? Мое субъективное мнение -истоком и основанием этой деструктивной семейной системы( имеющей быть в странах бывшего СССР) является матриархальный уклад в обществе ,где мамы уже с самого рождения воспитывают из своих сыновей настоящих бабо-рабов , при этом ломая психику ребенка на всю жизнь! Я прожил много лет в Европейской стране, был в отношениях с несколькими партерами, общаюсь с семьями моих друзей. Нигде ,никогда я не встречал даже намёка на то, что кто- то в семье работать должен больше просто потому , что он друго пола.`
Пообщавшись на этом сайте с достаточным количеством девушек с русским менталитетом , я понял ,что здесь на меня смотрят не как на человека или личность , а как на какой-то материальный ресурс , который уже должен!!!! И этот факт стал поводом моего негодования ! Поэтому не могу не высказаться по этому поводу. Т.к это есть крик моей души(((
Mat, 38 y.o.
Marrying a woman and man
Marrying a woman doesn't mean you are marrying a maid for managing house, a sex machine to fulfil your needs, someone you are boss to. Make it simple, she is a human and you're too. You need a special friend who love, support, care. You need a human connection and not product.
Marrying a man doesn't mean you're marrying an ATM, a personal bodyguard, Genie who would fulfil your all wishes. Make it simple, he is human and you're human too. You need a friend. You need support. You need care and love. You need a human connection and not a product.
Will I Ever Find Love Again? Reasons You Will And What You Must Do
Finding a person to date is quite easy in this day and age, but finding someone to connect with and have a fulfilling relationship with is on a whole other level. Stable long-term relationships that can lead to marriage take two like-minded people.
They require couples to be on the same page not just about the way they feel, but also about the things they want from the relationship, the way they communicate, perceive each other, invest in each other, view the world, and the things they believe in.
Relationships are some of the hardest things to master and maintain because they require certain kinds of skills we don’t learn in school. I’m talking about skills that aren’t just related to the relationship (communication, trust, loyalty, etc.), but also skills that everyone should develop whether they’re in a relationship or not.
Most people, unfortunately, don't know they lack these skills until they get into a relationship with someone they love because that's when those skills (or the lack of them) reveal themselves in the forms of disagreements, impatience, stubbornness, selfishness, jealousy , arguments, and all kinds of shortcomings.
These shortcomings come out because people get used to being with their partner, take their partner for granted (at least a bit), and unknowingly project their unhappiness onto him or her and test their partner’s patience. Not all people treat their partner poorly, of course, but many do because they never learned to value people and control their impulses.
They didn’t need to because they got away with certain behaviors in the past without paying the price for it. Because they had a get out of jail free card, they, as a result, neglected the importance of self-growth and carried their childhood issues, traumas, fears, anger issues, trust issues, abandonment issues, and poor communication styles into their relationships and through self-negligence destroyed their relationships before they even started.
The problem with people in relationships isn’t that they have flaws. It’s that they don’t have the desire to look for flaws, identify them, work on them, and compromise when they need to. They’d rather let the other person do the work while they carry on inattentively and mind their own business.
If they took the time to invest in themselves, they could sometimes (not always) prevent their partner from becoming resentful and leaving them. They could continue to stay in love and grow both individually and as romantic partners.
But enough about that. You’re here because you’re asking yourself, “Will I ever find love again?” You want to know if what you had before is what you can have again and be like other successful couples. The quick answer to your query is YES. You will find love again. And the good thing about it is that it will most likely be even more fulfilling, healthy, durable, and long-lasting.
This is because romantic failures have taught you that relationships need work and that if someone (whether it’s you or your partner) stops prioritizing the relationship, things can quickly take a turn for the worse. They can lead to cheating, neglect, depression, suffocation, and a loss of feelings.
There’s no denying the fact that numerous smart, good-looking, successful, ambitious people are struggling to find love. Many are doing extremely well at work or home, have many friends, enjoy their lives, and live healthy lifestyles, but they still can’t find a worthwhile person to commit to and stay with long-term.
Why is that?
Oftentimes people aren’t ready for love. They’re broken-hearted, insecure, or desperate for a connection, so they want love for all the wrong reasons. Instead of wanting someone who will complete them, they want a person who will make them.
And that’s wrong because no person should teach them how to live and be their everything. Romantic partners are a big part of our lives, that’s for certain. But they can’t be the sole purpose we get up for in the morning.
Not unless they’re incapable of taking care of themselves and need our help. But that’s a topic for another time.
The point I’m trying to make is that most people reading this article wonder if they’ll ever find love again because they’re dealing with romantic rejection. They’re hurt, sad, miserable, and are struggling to accept the breakup and love themselves. That’s why instead of working on themselves, they want to find love again and be happy with the help of another person.
A person going through a breakup or dealing with something difficult shouldn’t be obsessively thinking about finding love again. He or she should be taking the long road to self-acceptance and healing, which is to improve self-esteem and other areas of life that are lacking.
This includes friendships, family bonds, work, passion, independence, physical/emotional health, and much more. These are just a few things people in pain, asking themselves, “Will I ever find love again” should be focusing on. You see, love is like a drug. The moment anxious people find it, many if not most of them will stop working on themselves.
They’ll feel too validated to look within and change some of the things that need changing.
I’m not saying they should do nothing but mull over their misery, but if they got broken up with, they should use the time after the breakup to become emotionally stronger and wiser. If they can focus on themselves rather than other people, they can outgrow their old selves and not have to wonder whether they’ll find love again.
They can find something much better – which is self-love.
Those who keep looking for love when they’re struggling to find internal peace and happiness eventually find love. But because they’re obsessed with feeling the kind of love they felt in the past, they go through the rebound stages and fail to stay connected.
They fail at keeping their love alive because they aren’t emotionally ready for new emotional investments.
Look, I get it, being alone when your friends are settling down, getting married, and having kids can feel like you’re the only one who failed to find happiness. But you need to understand that you’re not in competition with your friends. You don’t need to have things society wants you to have and reach your family’s expectations.
All you need is to know that finding love takes time and that it’s okay even if it takes decades. Lots of people divorce at various ages and points in life. This is normal, and quite honestly, healthy for many. Those who break up have some things to learn and improve so they can find love again.
If you can’t find love and are afraid you’ll never find it again, try not to think poorly of yourself. Don’t think that something’s wrong with you and that you’re not worthy of love and commitment. Also, don’t think about giving up on love. You probably feel like the people you date always disappoint you, but there’s a reason for that.
We need to identify that reason (or reasons) so you can have a better chance of finding real love. Please read until the end so you can discover the cause of your lack of romantic progression.
One of the most plausible reasons you’re struggling to find love again is that you’re still processing the end of your previous relationship and aren’t emotionally ready for love yet. You’re still thinking about the person who broke your heart and fantasizing about being with that person.
If that’s what you’re doing, you’re incapable of being in a relationship even if Mr. or Mrs. right takes interest in you. As long as you’re hurting over the loss of a relationship and need your ex to validate you, it’s impossible for you to connect with anyone else. Your heart still belongs to your ex, so it’s not going to open up to someone else no matter how hard you try.
All you’ll do by forcing it is realize your ex was the better person for you and get hurt and nostalgic in the process. So before you even try to fall in love with someone else, make sure to get your ex out of your system. Sign up for therapy, exercise, spend time with friends and family, and distract yourself. These things will help you process the breakup at the fastest rate possible and allow you to feel something for the people you associate with.
Another reason why you might be having a hard time finding love is that you’re not interacting with lots of people. You might be living quite an asocial life and have very few romantic opportunities. To find love, you don’t have to be the most social person on the planet, but you do have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone and live your life.
Do that by accepting people’s invitations, going out with friends more, attending various shows, concerts, events, and joining local communities. There’s a lot you can do to increase the number of people you meet and interact with.
The third reason you might be struggling to keep men or women interested is that your self-esteem and confidence are low. You probably know how important these traits are because they make certain impressions on people. They tell people how you think of yourself and how hard they’d have to invest in you to make the relationship work.
If you can improve confidence and self-esteem, you should attract more people into your life.
To boost them, work on your physical appearance, social skills, fears, and take risks in life. Try to improve the way you see yourself and your understanding of who you are as a person.
We also need to point out that you might need to work on yourself a bit more. If you lack self-awareness and are saying things people find offensive, for example, you need to look into that. Find out if the way you act or don’t act is healthy and generally accepted so that you can improve yourself if needed.
The fifth reason why you’re struggling to find love might be that you’re impatient and want love right away. If that’s the issue, you need to learn that love isn’t something you can get just because you want it badly. It’s something that happens when two people like and respect each other to the point where they want to grow and progress in life together.
You may want to connect a bit too much because you’re impatient or afraid you’re running out of time. Figure out if that’s the case so you can slow down a bit.
The final point is that you might have a difficult time settling down with people. Instead of giving people a fair chance, you get bored or disappointed and start looking for the next best thing. That would imply that you’re not sure about what you want from your relationships and that you want to find the best person rather than become the best with him or her.
Lower your standards a little bit
Finding a person identical to you in all aspects of life is never going to happen because there is no other you in this world. You won’t find him or her no matter where you look because he or she exists only in your imagination.
Even if you find someone with the same interests and similar personalities, the two of you could still have gender differences, hormonal differences, cultural differences, behavioral differences, differences in upbringing, and differences of opinion.
Something will always be different, so there’s no point in looking for a mirror image of you. It’s good to respect yourself and set the bar high, but don’t go looking high up in heaven. People have flaws and differences and sometimes we need to accept them just as they need to accept ours. That’s how we can give room for growth to occur and the relationship a chance to develop.
A person who likes you will probably take up some of your hobbies and interest, copy your vocabulary, and mimic some of your behaviors. That’s because love unites couples, makes their lifestyles somewhat similar, and enables them to live joyfully.
So instead of wondering if you’ll ever find a person like you or one of your exes, know that you don’t need a person like your ex to be happy. Your ex is your ex (a person the relationship failed with), so you just need an open-minded person with similar values to you.
In other words, you need a mature person who has set his or her priorities straight and wants what you want – a serious commitment.
I know I make this sound easy, but it’s anything but. People are different and often resistant to change. They value their opinions a lot because their opinions identify them and tell them what they should accept, reject, and fight for. But despite that, you should look for someone who’s already done the work on himself or herself and is ready for a serious relationship.
A man or woman like that likely won’t spend 5 days a week at the bar getting wasted. He or she will work (or go to school), be family-oriented, understand the importance of physical and emotional health, and have control over his or her negative thoughts and emotions.
The kind of love you’re looking for, therefore, is built on virtues, acceptance, and understanding. You want someone who will stick with you through thick and thin and not leave when stress, pressure, anxiety, differences of opinion, and other unpleasant thoughts and feelings pile up.
If you ask me, that kind of person is worth waiting for. I’ve dated a fair share of people, and I can tell you I’d rather be single than stay with a person who makes me feel unloved and can’t grow with me. To me, the ability to grow is probably the most important thing I look for and respect in a person. Everything else (common hobbies and interests, communication differences, understanding each other better, and even goals) we can work on as we go.
So if I managed to convince you a little, don’t look for a perfect person. If you look for a perfect person, you’ll move from one person to the next without truly getting to know people. To give people a chance, you have to give them about half a year of time to show you what they’re made of.
Half a year should be enough for you to see if your values are aligned and if you can grow together.
Of course, you don't have to stay with people if there's no chemistry and attraction, but do see if they've done any work on themselves, if they're capable of handling constructive criticism, and if they're willing to work with you on problems when they emerge.
Of course, this also applies to you. Relationships go both ways, so if your partner (or someone you like) is dedicated to you and ready to adapt, don’t get scared and think less of him or her. You should be willing to improve and grow simultaneously because it’s the mature thing to do.
The sad reality though, is that some people are better equipped for long-term relationships than others. Some develop open-mindedness and empathy because they spend more time reflecting on their behaviors, whereas others completely ignore the need to do that and fail.
They grow only when they need to because they’re motivated by pain and demotivated by joy. In other words, they lack self-awareness and the understanding that self-development is a constant lifelong process.
It’s only a matter of time before you find love again
If you found love before, you can be certain that you’ll find love again. It may not happen when you want it to, but that’s probably for the best because you want to keep your expectations low. You want to be detached from the outcome as that will make you as attractive you can be.
So try not to worry about whether you’ll find love again after a breakup. If you’re open to love and don’t live in a bunker completely cut off from society, finding love is inevitable. You’ll most likely find it when you’re not thinking about it anymore and don’t need anyone but yourself to be happy.
That’s when you’ll start wondering if worrying about finding love again was even worth it.
Mark my words that you’ll find love again. Just make sure to do the work on yourself so you’re ready for it when it finds you.
Married or Not, Carry This With You
Why are you making it universal?
You are assuming that.
Okay, you are stressed and strained and what?
Sadhguru: So he has named his wife and children
as stress, strain and torture.
Wife and two children - stress, strain and torture.
I don’t want you to travel on the path of yoga.
Whatever goddamn path you’re travelling on,
take yoga with you.
It will make the path easy and beautiful.
Whether you go north or south,
if it is dark you take a torch, isn’t it?
Only northward people take torch,
southern people take darkness with you,
is there such a thing?
So you getting married is because of your needs.
You were not born with your wife,
You were born like this,
a complete human being.
Because you have certain needs
physical, psychological, emotional,
that also is there, right?
So, various needs;
marriage is generally supposed to be a package
which deals with all these needs
sometimes financial needs also.
So it is a comprehensive package,
that if you get married all these problems are solved in one shot.
Sometimes they may refuse to fulfill some of your needs,
so you get stressed, strained and tortured.
I want you to understand
you married for your well-being,
not as some sacrifice for somebody’s sake.
You married for your needs and your well-being, isn’t it?
You better remember that all your life.
You married and tied up the other person with you
because you have needs.
You did not do it for the other person’s sake.
Yes or no?
Let’s be straight about this.
Yes or no?
You remember this.
If you remember this, you will live in little gratitude, okay?
If not all the five – pancha,
you know the five needs,
at least two you fulfill for me,
thank you very much, isn’t it?
All the five perfectly, maybe they did not fulfill,
at least two or three they fulfilled, right -
your husband or your wife?
Did they, didn’t they?
If they did not fulfill anything,
I don’t think you would be there by now.
Yes or no?
If they did not fulfill any of your needs,
I do not think you would still be there.
They are fulfilling some needs,
a few things maybe they are not able to fulfill.
So are you.
You are also not able to fulfill
every one of the needs of the other person.
Some you are fulfilling, some you are not.
Isn’t it so?
So why did this become stress, strain and torture?
Whichever way you have made it, till now it doesn’t matter;
if you are willing, in three days’ time
it doesn’t matter how bad your situation is,
in three days’ time you can bring it to a semblance of peace.
If not love,
if not ecstasy,
at least you can bring it to a peaceful state in three days’ time
if you are willing, hundred percent.
Yes or no?
At least you can shut-up,
simply, whatever happens.
Peace will happen
and maybe they will love it.
So don’t walk the path of yoga,
whatever the path,
you must carry yoga with you.
If you carry yoga with you,
it’ll light up your path, whatever path you have chosen.
You have chosen your path out of your needs.
You already done it,
so that’s up to you.
Those who have done it,
I would like you to choose your path
not out of your compulsive needs,
but of your conscious needs.
So when that stage in your life comes,
it is time to consciously look at your life and see
will today’s needs mean something to you after five years or ten years?
Will it be worthwhile to tie up your life
for the simple needs that you have today
or will… are these just passing needs for you?
If it’s a very strong need, you must marry.
If it is not a strong need, it’s a passing need,
you can work out your needs probably
by just going to a cinema.
Then no need to get married, you know.
many people are like this.
Their needs are not very strong.
It’s just passing,
but social structure tells them you have to.
It must be a conscious choice.
Whichever way you go, it must be your conscious choice,
not compulsive choices
because if you choose compulsively
you will always take it out on the people around you
because you feel like a slave
and you don’t like it.
So you take it out on them
and they will take it out on you.
So it is not about what you are doing,
it is about how you do it.
What you are doing is according to our requirements,
but how you do it will determine the nature of your life.
Is it an advantage to walk single
rather than walk with people?
if you want to walk rapidly.
In Africa there is a saying.
“If you want to walk quick, walk alone.
If you want to walk long, walk in company.”
If you’re making a long distance journey,
it’s better to have company.
If you’re walking a short distance
and very quick you want to walk,
it’s best to go alone, isn’t it?
Gautama said another thing.
When somebody asked him the same question,
“It is better to walk alone than to walk with a fool.”
Because by looking at you
he is very clear who else will marry you
so that is Gautama's way of working
So he said
he is always discouraging people to take company
this life is a brief walk
why do you need a company?
When you leave this body it's a long place
there I will be there
this is the offer
But you think life is long,
so maybe you need company.
If you need company you take it,
but how you conduct this company is very important.
If you want to conduct this sensibly,
one of the most important things that you need to do
particularly with your children, you must do this - is
your psychological and your emotional framework
should be around the basic fact of life.
The basic fact of life is that you are mortal.
Your psychological and emotional structure should be formed around your mortality.
This is most important.
If you are constantly aware that this is a brief life,
any moment you will fall dead. Actually
then you would organize your life
and conduct your life in a certain way.
When you know time is ticking away, any moment you will be knocked down,
you have no time to get angry with somebody, isn’t it?
You have no time to fight with somebody here.
You have no time to sit there depressed for a long period of time
because tick, tick, tick, tick, it’s going away.
Because your psychological structure is organized around your immortality,
because of that you have lot of time to fight,
to be depressed,
to be frustrated,
to fume -
you have lot of time.
So it’s very, very important that everybody organizes
their psychological and emotional structure
around the mortal nature of our existence.
After all you are just a baton carrier
between the last generation and the next generation, isn’t it?
For a brief time it’s in your hands, this world,
afterwards somebody else is going to take it.
You will see taking the baton from the previous generation
happens in most ugly ways,
handing over the baton to the next generation happens in horrible ways,
simply because people’s mind is structured
around their belief of immortality.
They don’t see they are mortal.
If you’re constantly aware that you are mortal,
sense will naturally dawn upon you.
You will have no time for foolishness.
Suppose you are aware that tomorrow you are going to die,
would you spend today fighting with somebody?
Because your time is ticking, isn’t it?
And your time is ticking even now,
not after a doctor diagnoses you with some horrible disease.
Even now it’s ticking.
Isn’t it so?
If you want to explore the possibility of what this is,
the immensity of what this is,
then the time is ticking too rapidly
and time is a extremely relative experience.
If you are joyful and blissful,
even if you live to be hundred, it’s a very brief life,
it’s gone in no time.
So in this brief life,
where do you get time
for stress, strain and torture?
I don’t know where you get time.
This is simply because
you think you are immortal,
this is the biggest mistake you have done.
It is just a brief journey.
You must conduct it as gracefully,
as blissfully as possible.
If you do not know the cosmos,
at least you must know this piece of life
before you fall dead.
That must happen to everybody.
Very good site but still many rude women that block with no reasonsz
You know, it happened to me that sometimes you start a nice conversation but after a while you are blocked . Of course is in the right of everybody do it but…is really rude and show how many people have not good manners…. And unfortunately seems the best play for lot of scammers….sigh….
The million dollar question:
The million dollar question: How do you know YOU are in relationship with a wrong person ?
The million dollar answer: YOU will know it when
-If it is not helping you ‘Rise & be better’ ...
-If you find yourself getting worse, day dreaming more, working less, being less passionate about your dreams. ‘ IT IS NOT LOVE’ then. It is youthful melodrama.
See it is simple ! Love as an emotion, is meant to inspire – if it is not inspiring you to be better – it is a waste of time.
Quit the person, just the way one quits a job- if the person is always demoralizing you.
Kickass story alert
A crow lived in the forest and was absolutely satisfied with his life. But one day he saw a swan. “This swan is so white,” he thought, “and I am so black. This swan must be the happiest bird in the world.”
He expressed his thoughts to the swan. “Actually,” the swan replied, “I felt like the happiest bird around until I saw a parrot, which has two colors. I now think the parrot is the happiest bird in creation.” The crow then approached the parrot. The parrot explained, “I lived a very happy life until I saw a peacock. I have only two colors, but the peacock has multiple colors.”
The crow then visited a peacock in the zoo and saw that hundreds of people had gathered to see him. After the people had left, the crow approached the peacock. “Dear peacock,” the crow said, “you are so beautiful. Every day thousands of people come to see you. When people see me, they immediately shoo me away. I think you are the happiest bird on the planet.”
The peacock replied, “I always thought that I was the most beautiful and happy bird on the planet. But because of my beauty, I am entrapped in this zoo. I have examined the zoo very carefully, and I have realized that the crow is the only bird not kept in a cage. So for past few days I have been thinking that if I were a crow, I could happily roam everywhere!"
That’s our problem too. We make unnecessary comparison with others and become sad. We don’t value what God has given us. This all leads to the vicious cycle of unhappiness.
Learn to be happy with the gifts you already have been given. If you don't appreciate them, all will be lost! There will always be someone who will have more or less than you have. Keep counting your blessings, as many as you can!
HE wanna sleep with me tonight?
SHE what the hell? What are you talking about?
HE didn't mean to have sex
i meant to be around you for a night.
Look at you when you sleep, play with your hair, cuddle you, hold you in my arms,
feel you and at last kiss your forehead when you fall asleep in my arms
like a kid.
Are you trying to achieve when it comes to love?
If you are… you’re going to make yourself miserable and drive away lovers like you do it for a job.
Something I’ve been noticing a lot lately is how focused people get on achieving something when it comes to love.
What do I mean by ‘achievement’?
Any instructions you have for the other person or yourself which you believe will further your ‘life goal’ or make you happy.
This could be anything from wanting marriage to thinking if they would just come back and start calling you the right nickname, you could finally feel loved.
Or, if there’s no one else in the picture, thinking that if ‘they’ would finally show up, you could finally start your ‘real life.’
Unfortunately, this future focus is an elegant way we make ourselves (and our lovers) feel bad.
Because relationships aren’t actually about achieving the next “milestone.”
They aren’t about getting married or having a kid or getting someone to rub your back the right way finally.
They are about connecting with someone and enjoying their company in the moment.
And… when people focus on this and this only they tend to have a very good time together. Then the other things start to take care of themselves.
Because they’re out of lack mode and onto something much more magical.
So... if, deep down, you’re striving for something, I want to encourage you to put it down.
See whether you can dial back some of that desire and whether you could already be perfectly happy in the now.
Because now is all we have. And attention to now always brings more.
Happy women' s day
Woman is the companion of man, gifted with equal mental capacity. Feminism isn’t about making women strong. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength. A woman in any form shall be celebrated and honoured, be it, a sister or a wife or a mother or any other form. Wishing you a Happy Women’s Day! to all the strong women out there.
Женщина - спутник мужчины, наделенный равными умственными способностями. Феминизм не делает женщин сильными. Женщины уже сильны. Речь идет об изменении того, как мир воспринимает эту силу. Женщина в любой форме должна быть прославлена и почитаема, будь то сестра, жена, мать или любая другая форма. Желаю вам счастливого женского дня! Всем сильным женщинам и мое уважение всем женщинам на этом сайте.
Sanat, 33 y.o.
Первая раз у Вас
Привет кто читает этот пост, это мой первый опыт в таких условиях найти свою единствеенную половину, ребят кто щдесь среди Вас опытен, то дайте свой совет или раскажите свой опыт.
Если вы девушка то будет любопытно услышать Ваше мнение.
У меня все Всех хороших поисков.