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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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If someone wants to be with you


If someone wants to be with you and I mean truly be with you, they will do everything in their power to make sure that you know. There will be no games. No words with hidden meanings. No endless nights where you read over your conversations to try and add pieces to a love puzzle that you have created in your mind. You will just know, and it is as simple as that. You won't have to figure anything out because their words will make it clear to you, their eyes will tell you and their actions will show you. If someone truly wants to be with you, they will do everything in their power to get you. And if they don't. If you find yourself questioning what they say or the things they do, if they confuse you and give you mixed signals, if they imply that they like you, but they don't say it then they do not truly want to be with you. Let me tell you what they are doing. They are trying to hold onto all their options so that they end up picking the right one. They are testing you to see if you are good enough for them. And you, my love, are not an option for anyone. So, remember this well. If someone wants to be with you - they will be with you.

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Roman, 41 y.o.

Sweden

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Настоящий мужчина должен :


И этот список может быть очень длинным , а в некоторых случаях бесконечным. Все зависит от фантазии и аппетита женщины и ее умения манипулировать партером Ведь многие мужчины и вовсе не догадываются о том ,что это всего лишь грязная , подлая манипуляция с применением психологического насилия , с целью извлечения собственной выгоды ! Пример: Настоящий мужчина ,чтобы соответствовать статусу , должен нет , просто обязан обеспечивать семью и удовлетворять хотелки его жены , которая вполне осознанно видит в своём партере ни что иное , как поставщика ресурсов для своей (королевы),которая не брезгует и сексом манипулировать ( ты сегодня себя плохо вёл или наоборот секс -как награда) И бежит бедолага изо дня в день в погоне за ништяками, чтобы потом принести и возложить их к ногам своей королевы. Это что получается ? Мужчина Родился , вырос , встретил партнера , переспал и с этого момента он пожизненно кому- то должен? Мое субъективное мнение -истоком и основанием этой деструктивной семейной системы( имеющей быть в странах бывшего СССР) является матриархальный уклад в обществе ,где мамы уже с самого рождения воспитывают из своих сыновей настоящих бабо-рабов , при этом ломая психику ребенка на всю жизнь! Я прожил много лет в Европейской стране, был в отношениях с несколькими партерами, общаюсь с семьями моих друзей. Нигде ,никогда я не встречал даже намёка на то, что кто- то в семье работать должен больше просто потому , что он друго пола.

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Пообщавшись на этом сайте с достаточным количеством девушек с русским менталитетом , я понял ,что здесь на меня смотрят не как на человека или личность , а как на какой-то материальный ресурс , который уже должен!!!! И этот факт стал поводом моего негодования ! Поэтому не могу не высказаться по этому поводу. Т.к это есть крик моей души(((

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Mat, 38 y.o.

France

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Disappointing !


In this site i have the feeling that women don't make the effort to know the man's content. They rarely answer and when they do they barely reply and don't ask questions. They think they are trophy we should deserve. This is discouraging !

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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Marrying a woman and man


Marrying a woman doesn't mean you are marrying a maid for managing house, a sex machine to fulfil your needs, someone you are boss to. Make it simple, she is a human and you're too. You need a special friend who love, support, care. You need a human connection and not product.

Marrying a man doesn't mean you're marrying an ATM, a personal bodyguard, Genie who would fulfil your all wishes. Make it simple, he is human and you're human too. You need a friend. You need support. You need care and love. You need a human connection and not a product.


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Barbaros

What does “I seek sponsoring” mean here?


Not exactly sure what this means. Does it mean “I can’t pay for travelling expenses”? But there is a question for that in Main Info section.

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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Will I Ever Find Love Again? Reasons You Will And What You Must Do


Finding a person to date is quite easy in this day and age, but finding someone to connect with and have a fulfilling relationship with is on a whole other level. Stable long-term relationships that can lead to marriage take two like-minded people.

They require couples to be on the same page not just about the way they feel, but also about the things they want from the relationship, the way they communicate, perceive each other, invest in each other, view the world, and the things they believe in.

Relationships are some of the hardest things to master and maintain because they require certain kinds of skills we don’t learn in school. I’m talking about skills that aren’t just related to the relationship (communication, trust, loyalty, etc.), but also skills that everyone should develop whether they’re in a relationship or not.

Most people, unfortunately, don't know they lack these skills until they get into a relationship with someone they love because that's when those skills (or the lack of them) reveal themselves in the forms of disagreements, impatience, stubbornness, selfishness, jealousy , arguments, and all kinds of shortcomings.

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These shortcomings come out because people get used to being with their partner, take their partner for granted (at least a bit), and unknowingly project their unhappiness onto him or her and test their partner’s patience. Not all people treat their partner poorly, of course, but many do because they never learned to value people and control their impulses.

They didn’t need to because they got away with certain behaviors in the past without paying the price for it. Because they had a get out of jail free card, they, as a result, neglected the importance of self-growth and carried their childhood issues, traumas, fears, anger issues, trust issues, abandonment issues, and poor communication styles into their relationships and through self-negligence destroyed their relationships before they even started.

The problem with people in relationships isn’t that they have flaws. It’s that they don’t have the desire to look for flaws, identify them, work on them, and compromise when they need to. They’d rather let the other person do the work while they carry on inattentively and mind their own business.

If they took the time to invest in themselves, they could sometimes (not always) prevent their partner from becoming resentful and leaving them. They could continue to stay in love and grow both individually and as romantic partners.

But enough about that. You’re here because you’re asking yourself, “Will I ever find love again?” You want to know if what you had before is what you can have again and be like other successful couples. The quick answer to your query is YES. You will find love again. And the good thing about it is that it will most likely be even more fulfilling, healthy, durable, and long-lasting.

This is because romantic failures have taught you that relationships need work and that if someone (whether it’s you or your partner) stops prioritizing the relationship, things can quickly take a turn for the worse. They can lead to cheating, neglect, depression, suffocation, and a loss of feelings.
There’s no denying the fact that numerous smart, good-looking, successful, ambitious people are struggling to find love. Many are doing extremely well at work or home, have many friends, enjoy their lives, and live healthy lifestyles, but they still can’t find a worthwhile person to commit to and stay with long-term.

Why is that?

Oftentimes people aren’t ready for love. They’re broken-hearted, insecure, or desperate for a connection, so they want love for all the wrong reasons. Instead of wanting someone who will complete them, they want a person who will make them.

And that’s wrong because no person should teach them how to live and be their everything. Romantic partners are a big part of our lives, that’s for certain. But they can’t be the sole purpose we get up for in the morning.

Not unless they’re incapable of taking care of themselves and need our help. But that’s a topic for another time.

The point I’m trying to make is that most people reading this article wonder if they’ll ever find love again because they’re dealing with romantic rejection. They’re hurt, sad, miserable, and are struggling to accept the breakup and love themselves. That’s why instead of working on themselves, they want to find love again and be happy with the help of another person.

A person going through a breakup or dealing with something difficult shouldn’t be obsessively thinking about finding love again. He or she should be taking the long road to self-acceptance and healing, which is to improve self-esteem and other areas of life that are lacking.

This includes friendships, family bonds, work, passion, independence, physical/emotional health, and much more. These are just a few things people in pain, asking themselves, “Will I ever find love again” should be focusing on. You see, love is like a drug. The moment anxious people find it, many if not most of them will stop working on themselves.

They’ll feel too validated to look within and change some of the things that need changing.

I’m not saying they should do nothing but mull over their misery, but if they got broken up with, they should use the time after the breakup to become emotionally stronger and wiser. If they can focus on themselves rather than other people, they can outgrow their old selves and not have to wonder whether they’ll find love again.

They can find something much better – which is self-love.

Those who keep looking for love when they’re struggling to find internal peace and happiness eventually find love. But because they’re obsessed with feeling the kind of love they felt in the past, they go through the rebound stages and fail to stay connected.

They fail at keeping their love alive because they aren’t emotionally ready for new emotional investments.

Look, I get it, being alone when your friends are settling down, getting married, and having kids can feel like you’re the only one who failed to find happiness. But you need to understand that you’re not in competition with your friends. You don’t need to have things society wants you to have and reach your family’s expectations.

All you need is to know that finding love takes time and that it’s okay even if it takes decades. Lots of people divorce at various ages and points in life. This is normal, and quite honestly, healthy for many. Those who break up have some things to learn and improve so they can find love again.

If you can’t find love and are afraid you’ll never find it again, try not to think poorly of yourself. Don’t think that something’s wrong with you and that you’re not worthy of love and commitment. Also, don’t think about giving up on love. You probably feel like the people you date always disappoint you, but there’s a reason for that.

We need to identify that reason (or reasons) so you can have a better chance of finding real love. Please read until the end so you can discover the cause of your lack of romantic progression.

One of the most plausible reasons you’re struggling to find love again is that you’re still processing the end of your previous relationship and aren’t emotionally ready for love yet. You’re still thinking about the person who broke your heart and fantasizing about being with that person.

If that’s what you’re doing, you’re incapable of being in a relationship even if Mr. or Mrs. right takes interest in you. As long as you’re hurting over the loss of a relationship and need your ex to validate you, it’s impossible for you to connect with anyone else. Your heart still belongs to your ex, so it’s not going to open up to someone else no matter how hard you try.

All you’ll do by forcing it is realize your ex was the better person for you and get hurt and nostalgic in the process. So before you even try to fall in love with someone else, make sure to get your ex out of your system. Sign up for therapy, exercise, spend time with friends and family, and distract yourself. These things will help you process the breakup at the fastest rate possible and allow you to feel something for the people you associate with.

Another reason why you might be having a hard time finding love is that you’re not interacting with lots of people. You might be living quite an asocial life and have very few romantic opportunities. To find love, you don’t have to be the most social person on the planet, but you do have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone and live your life.

Do that by accepting people’s invitations, going out with friends more, attending various shows, concerts, events, and joining local communities. There’s a lot you can do to increase the number of people you meet and interact with.

The third reason you might be struggling to keep men or women interested is that your self-esteem and confidence are low. You probably know how important these traits are because they make certain impressions on people. They tell people how you think of yourself and how hard they’d have to invest in you to make the relationship work.

If you can improve confidence and self-esteem, you should attract more people into your life.

To boost them, work on your physical appearance, social skills, fears, and take risks in life. Try to improve the way you see yourself and your understanding of who you are as a person.

We also need to point out that you might need to work on yourself a bit more. If you lack self-awareness and are saying things people find offensive, for example, you need to look into that. Find out if the way you act or don’t act is healthy and generally accepted so that you can improve yourself if needed.

The fifth reason why you’re struggling to find love might be that you’re impatient and want love right away. If that’s the issue, you need to learn that love isn’t something you can get just because you want it badly. It’s something that happens when two people like and respect each other to the point where they want to grow and progress in life together.

You may want to connect a bit too much because you’re impatient or afraid you’re running out of time. Figure out if that’s the case so you can slow down a bit.

The final point is that you might have a difficult time settling down with people. Instead of giving people a fair chance, you get bored or disappointed and start looking for the next best thing. That would imply that you’re not sure about what you want from your relationships and that you want to find the best person rather than become the best with him or her.

Lower your standards a little bit
Finding a person identical to you in all aspects of life is never going to happen because there is no other you in this world. You won’t find him or her no matter where you look because he or she exists only in your imagination.

Even if you find someone with the same interests and similar personalities, the two of you could still have gender differences, hormonal differences, cultural differences, behavioral differences, differences in upbringing, and differences of opinion.

Something will always be different, so there’s no point in looking for a mirror image of you. It’s good to respect yourself and set the bar high, but don’t go looking high up in heaven. People have flaws and differences and sometimes we need to accept them just as they need to accept ours. That’s how we can give room for growth to occur and the relationship a chance to develop.

A person who likes you will probably take up some of your hobbies and interest, copy your vocabulary, and mimic some of your behaviors. That’s because love unites couples, makes their lifestyles somewhat similar, and enables them to live joyfully.

So instead of wondering if you’ll ever find a person like you or one of your exes, know that you don’t need a person like your ex to be happy. Your ex is your ex (a person the relationship failed with), so you just need an open-minded person with similar values to you.

In other words, you need a mature person who has set his or her priorities straight and wants what you want – a serious commitment.

I know I make this sound easy, but it’s anything but. People are different and often resistant to change. They value their opinions a lot because their opinions identify them and tell them what they should accept, reject, and fight for. But despite that, you should look for someone who’s already done the work on himself or herself and is ready for a serious relationship.

A man or woman like that likely won’t spend 5 days a week at the bar getting wasted. He or she will work (or go to school), be family-oriented, understand the importance of physical and emotional health, and have control over his or her negative thoughts and emotions.

The kind of love you’re looking for, therefore, is built on virtues, acceptance, and understanding. You want someone who will stick with you through thick and thin and not leave when stress, pressure, anxiety, differences of opinion, and other unpleasant thoughts and feelings pile up.

If you ask me, that kind of person is worth waiting for. I’ve dated a fair share of people, and I can tell you I’d rather be single than stay with a person who makes me feel unloved and can’t grow with me. To me, the ability to grow is probably the most important thing I look for and respect in a person. Everything else (common hobbies and interests, communication differences, understanding each other better, and even goals) we can work on as we go.

So if I managed to convince you a little, don’t look for a perfect person. If you look for a perfect person, you’ll move from one person to the next without truly getting to know people. To give people a chance, you have to give them about half a year of time to show you what they’re made of.

Half a year should be enough for you to see if your values are aligned and if you can grow together.

Of course, you don't have to stay with people if there's no chemistry and attraction, but do see if they've done any work on themselves, if they're capable of handling constructive criticism, and if they're willing to work with you on problems when they emerge.

Of course, this also applies to you. Relationships go both ways, so if your partner (or someone you like) is dedicated to you and ready to adapt, don’t get scared and think less of him or her. You should be willing to improve and grow simultaneously because it’s the mature thing to do.

The sad reality though, is that some people are better equipped for long-term relationships than others. Some develop open-mindedness and empathy because they spend more time reflecting on their behaviors, whereas others completely ignore the need to do that and fail.

They grow only when they need to because they’re motivated by pain and demotivated by joy. In other words, they lack self-awareness and the understanding that self-development is a constant lifelong process.

It’s only a matter of time before you find love again
If you found love before, you can be certain that you’ll find love again. It may not happen when you want it to, but that’s probably for the best because you want to keep your expectations low. You want to be detached from the outcome as that will make you as attractive you can be.

So try not to worry about whether you’ll find love again after a breakup. If you’re open to love and don’t live in a bunker completely cut off from society, finding love is inevitable. You’ll most likely find it when you’re not thinking about it anymore and don’t need anyone but yourself to be happy.

That’s when you’ll start wondering if worrying about finding love again was even worth it.

Mark my words that you’ll find love again. Just make sure to do the work on yourself so you’re ready for it when it finds you.

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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Married or Not, Carry This With You


Sadhguru: Why?

Why?

Why are you making it universal?

You are assuming that.

Okay, you are stressed and strained and what?

Sadhguru: Torture?

Sadhguru: So he has named his wife and children

as stress, strain and torture.

Wife and two children - stress, strain and torture.

How’s that?

I don’t want you to travel on the path of yoga.

Whatever goddamn path you’re travelling on,

take yoga with you.

It will make the path easy and beautiful.

Whether you go north or south,

if it is dark you take a torch, isn’t it?

Only northward people take torch,

southern people take darkness with you,

is there such a thing?

No.

So you getting married is because of your needs.

You were not born with your wife,

were you?

You were born like this,

a complete human being.

Because you have certain needs

physical, psychological, emotional,

maybe financial

social

that also is there, right?

So, various needs;

marriage is generally supposed to be a package

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which deals with all these needs

physical needs,

psychological needs,

emotional needs,

social needs,

sometimes financial needs also.

So it is a comprehensive package,

that if you get married all these problems are solved in one shot.

Sometimes they may refuse to fulfill some of your needs,

so you get stressed, strained and tortured.

I want you to understand

you married for your well-being,

not as some sacrifice for somebody’s sake.

You married for your needs and your well-being, isn’t it?

You better remember that all your life.

You married and tied up the other person with you

because you have needs.

You did not do it for the other person’s sake.

Yes or no?

Let’s be straight about this.

Yes or no?

Yes.

You remember this.

If you remember this, you will live in little gratitude, okay?

If not all the five – pancha,

you know the five needs,

at least two you fulfill for me,

thank you very much, isn’t it?

All the five perfectly, maybe they did not fulfill,

at least two or three they fulfilled, right -

your husband or your wife?

Did they, didn’t they?

If they did not fulfill anything,

I don’t think you would be there by now.

Yes or no?

If they did not fulfill any of your needs,

I do not think you would still be there.

They are fulfilling some needs,

a few things maybe they are not able to fulfill.

So are you.

You are also not able to fulfill

every one of the needs of the other person.

Some you are fulfilling, some you are not.

Isn’t it so?

So why did this become stress, strain and torture?

Whichever way you have made it, till now it doesn’t matter;

if you are willing, in three days’ time

it doesn’t matter how bad your situation is,

in three days’ time you can bring it to a semblance of peace.

If not love,

if not ecstasy,

at least you can bring it to a peaceful state in three days’ time

if you are willing, hundred percent.

Yes or no?

Hmm?

At least you can shut-up,

simply, whatever happens.

Peace will happen

and maybe they will love it.

So don’t walk the path of yoga,

whatever the path,

you must carry yoga with you.

If you carry yoga with you,

it’ll light up your path, whatever path you have chosen.

You have chosen your path out of your needs.

You already done it,

so that’s up to you.

Those who have done it,

I would like you to choose your path

not out of your compulsive needs,

but of your conscious needs.

So when that stage in your life comes,

it is time to consciously look at your life and see

will today’s needs mean something to you after five years or ten years?

Will it be worthwhile to tie up your life

for the simple needs that you have today

or will… are these just passing needs for you?

If it’s a very strong need, you must marry.

If it is not a strong need, it’s a passing need,

you can work out your needs probably

by just going to a cinema.

Then no need to get married, you know.

Yes,

many people are like this.

Their needs are not very strong.

It’s just passing,

but social structure tells them you have to.

Not necessary.

It must be a conscious choice.

Whichever way you go, it must be your conscious choice,

not compulsive choices

because if you choose compulsively

you will always take it out on the people around you

because you feel like a slave

and you don’t like it.

So you take it out on them

and they will take it out on you.

So it is not about what you are doing,

it is about how you do it.

What you are doing is according to our requirements,

but how you do it will determine the nature of your life.

Is it an advantage to walk single

rather than walk with people?

Yes,

if you want to walk rapidly.

In Africa there is a saying.

They say,

“If you want to walk quick, walk alone.

If you want to walk long, walk in company.”

If you’re making a long distance journey,

it’s better to have company.

If you’re walking a short distance

and very quick you want to walk,

it’s best to go alone, isn’t it?

Gautama said another thing.

When somebody asked him the same question,

he said,

“It is better to walk alone than to walk with a fool.”

Because by looking at you

he is very clear who else will marry you

so that is Gautama's way of working

So he said

he is always discouraging people to take company

he said

this life is a brief walk

why do you need a company?

When you leave this body it's a long place

there I will be there

this is the offer

But you think life is long,

so maybe you need company.

If you need company you take it,

but how you conduct this company is very important.

If you want to conduct this sensibly,

one of the most important things that you need to do

particularly with your children, you must do this - is

your psychological and your emotional framework

should be around the basic fact of life.

The basic fact of life is that you are mortal.

Your psychological and emotional structure should be formed around your mortality.

This is most important.

If you are constantly aware that this is a brief life,

any moment you will fall dead. Actually

then you would organize your life

and conduct your life in a certain way.

When you know time is ticking away, any moment you will be knocked down,

you have no time to get angry with somebody, isn’t it?

You have no time to fight with somebody here.

You have no time to sit there depressed for a long period of time

because tick, tick, tick, tick, it’s going away.

Because your psychological structure is organized around your immortality,

because of that you have lot of time to fight,

to be depressed,

to be frustrated,

to fret,

to fume -

you have lot of time.

So it’s very, very important that everybody organizes

their psychological and emotional structure

around the mortal nature of our existence.

After all you are just a baton carrier

between the last generation and the next generation, isn’t it?

Yes?

For a brief time it’s in your hands, this world,

afterwards somebody else is going to take it.

You will see taking the baton from the previous generation

happens in most ugly ways,

handing over the baton to the next generation happens in horrible ways,

simply because people’s mind is structured

around their belief of immortality.

They don’t see they are mortal.

If you’re constantly aware that you are mortal,

sense will naturally dawn upon you.

You will have no time for foolishness.

Suppose you are aware that tomorrow you are going to die,

would you spend today fighting with somebody?

Hmm?

Because your time is ticking, isn’t it?

And your time is ticking even now,

not after a doctor diagnoses you with some horrible disease.

Even now it’s ticking.

Isn’t it so?

If you want to explore the possibility of what this is,

the immensity of what this is,

then the time is ticking too rapidly

and time is a extremely relative experience.

If you are joyful and blissful,

even if you live to be hundred, it’s a very brief life,

it’s gone in no time.

So in this brief life,

where do you get time

for stress, strain and torture?

I don’t know where you get time.

This is simply because

you think you are immortal,

this is the biggest mistake you have done.

It is just a brief journey.

You must conduct it as gracefully,

as blissfully as possible.

If you do not know the cosmos,

at least you must know this piece of life

before you fall dead.

That must happen to everybody.

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Tony, 50 y.o.

Italy

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Very good site but still many rude women that block with no reasonsz


You know, it happened to me that sometimes you start a nice conversation but after a while you are blocked . Of course is in the right of everybody do it but…is really rude and show how many people have not good manners…. And unfortunately seems the best play for lot of scammers….sigh….

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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The million dollar question:


The million dollar question: How do you know YOU are in relationship with a wrong person ?
The million dollar answer: YOU will know it when  
-If it is not helping you ‘Rise & be better’ ...
-If you find yourself getting worse, day dreaming more, working less, being less passionate about your dreams. ‘ IT IS NOT LOVE’ then. It is youthful melodrama.
See it is simple ! Love as an emotion, is meant to inspire – if it is not inspiring you to be better – it is a waste of time.
Quit the person, just the way one quits a job- if the person is always demoralizing you.

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Dustin

Is it just me?


Does any other guy here have a problem with women they are talking to here abruptly stop talking and block you? I do not know if I am doing anything wrong because they never tell me if I did anything wrong.

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🥀Majid 🌺°🌱°, 52 y.o.

Egypt

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⚘🌻guarded🌻🦜


🌻Good morning and good evening🌻To the local and global community🌷All characters are appreciated🌷
     🧠👀And all minds have their views  🧠

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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Kickass story alert


A crow lived in the forest and was absolutely satisfied with his life. But one day he saw a swan. “This swan is so white,” he thought, “and I am so black. This swan must be the happiest bird in the world.”
He expressed his thoughts to the swan. “Actually,” the swan replied, “I felt like the happiest bird around until I saw a parrot, which has two colors. I now think the parrot is the happiest bird in creation.” The crow then approached the parrot. The parrot explained, “I lived a very happy life until I saw a peacock. I have only two colors, but the peacock has multiple colors.”
The crow then visited a peacock in the zoo and saw that hundreds of people had gathered to see him. After the people had left, the crow approached the peacock. “Dear peacock,” the crow said, “you are so beautiful. Every day thousands of people come to see you. When people see me, they immediately shoo me away. I think you are the happiest bird on the planet.”

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The peacock replied, “I always thought that I was the most beautiful and happy bird on the planet. But because of my beauty, I am entrapped in this zoo. I have examined the zoo very carefully, and I have realized that the crow is the only bird not kept in a cage. So for past few days I have been thinking that if I were a crow, I could happily roam everywhere!"


That’s our problem too. We make unnecessary comparison with others and become sad. We don’t value what God has given us. This all leads to the vicious cycle of unhappiness.
Learn to be happy with the gifts you already have been given. If you don't appreciate them, all will be lost! There will always be someone who will have more or less than you have. Keep counting your blessings, as many as you can!

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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twin flames


If two hearts are meant to be together, no matter how long it takes, how far they go, how tough it seems, fate will bring them together to share their love forever.

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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SEX dynamics


SEX..

HE wanna sleep with me tonight?

SHE what the hell? What are you talking about?

HE  didn't mean to have sex

i meant to be around you for a night.

Look at you when you sleep, play with your hair, cuddle you, hold you in my arms,

feel you and at last kiss your forehead when you fall asleep in my arms
like a kid.

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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Relationship


My next relationship will be my last, so I am not looking. I am not worried, I am not rushing. I want this love to find me, want me, need me and love me in slow motion. we have forever to go.

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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Relationship mechanics


Are you trying to achieve when it comes to love?

If you are… you’re going to make yourself miserable and drive away lovers like you do it for a job.

Something I’ve been noticing a lot lately is how focused people get on achieving something when it comes to love.

What do I mean by ‘achievement’?

Any instructions you have for the other person or yourself which you believe will further your ‘life goal’ or make you happy.

This could be anything from wanting marriage to thinking if they would just come back and start calling you the right nickname, you could finally feel loved.

Or, if there’s no one else in the picture, thinking that if ‘they’ would finally show up, you could finally start your ‘real life.’

Unfortunately, this future focus is an elegant way we make ourselves (and our lovers) feel bad.

Because relationships aren’t actually about achieving the next “milestone.”

They aren’t about getting married or having a kid or getting someone to rub your back the right way finally.

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They are about connecting with someone and enjoying their company in the moment.

And… when people focus on this and this only they tend to have a very good time together. Then the other things start to take care of themselves.

Because they’re out of lack mode and onto something much more magical.

So... if, deep down, you’re striving for something, I want to encourage you to put it down.

See whether you can dial back some of that desire and whether you could already be perfectly happy in the now.

Because now is all we have. And attention to now always brings more.

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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Happy women' s day


Woman is the companion of man, gifted with equal mental capacity. Feminism isn’t about making women strong. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength. A woman in any form shall be celebrated and honoured, be it, a sister or a wife or a mother or any other form. Wishing you a Happy Women’s Day! to all the strong women out there.

Женщина - спутник мужчины, наделенный равными умственными способностями. Феминизм не делает женщин сильными. Женщины уже сильны. Речь идет об изменении того, как мир воспринимает эту силу. Женщина в любой форме должна быть прославлена ​​и почитаема, будь то сестра, жена, мать или любая другая форма. Желаю вам счастливого женского дня! Всем сильным женщинам и мое уважение всем женщинам на этом сайте.

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Sanat, 33 y.o.

Kazakhstan

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Первая раз у Вас


Привет кто читает этот пост, это мой первый опыт в таких условиях найти свою единствеенную половину, ребят кто щдесь среди Вас опытен, то дайте свой совет или раскажите свой опыт.
Если вы девушка то будет любопытно услышать Ваше мнение.
У меня все Всех хороших поисков.

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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Motivation


A couple who loved each other dearly was now

finally getting married it was a huge celebration

everybody who attended the wedding had a wonderful

time each one agreed that the couple

not only looked gorgeous in their wedding attire

but their love for each other was very genuine and evident

a couple of months later when the couple had settled down

the lady came to the husband with a proposal

she said recently i read somewhere about a process how to strengthen married relationships

each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit

annoying about the other and then we can discuss about how we can

improve and fix those weaknesses together

and make our lives happier the husband agreed

both of them went to a separate room in

the house and did some soul searching

to think about the things in their partner that annoyed them

they spent the rest of the day doing this exercise

and wrote down what they came up with

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the next morning at the breakfast table

they decided to go over their lists

the wife offered to start she took out

her list which had many items on it

enough to fill three pages as she

started reading the list of those things in him

that annoyed her she noticed that her husband had teary eyes

when she asked him if something was

wrong he said that everything was fine and asked her to continue

reading after the wife had finished reading all the three pages to her husband

she neatly placed her list on the table and told him that it was his turn

and that after he had finished they would discuss how to work on their flaws

together in a very soft and gentle tone the husband said i don't have anything on my list

i think you're perfect the way you are and i don't want you to change

anything for me you're lovely and wonderful

and i wouldn't want to try and change anything

about you the wife was touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for

her and his acceptance of her she turned her

head to the other side and wept ladies and gentlemen there are

enough reasons in times when we feel disappointed depressed and annoyed we

don't have to go looking for them we human beings are

far from being perfect the exercise of helping

each other deal with our weaknesses is not bad

but we have to be conscious of two things

number one it has to be based on accepting

each other for who they are and to then help each other improve as far as humanly

possible and number two seeing the bad in others

even if it were with the cleanest intention to help

to serve must be accompanied with a much larger percentage

of focusing on the good in that other person trust me

you can never find a perfect partner who only sees the good in you

thinks you're perfect and loves you the way you want them to

but you can surely find a person who sees you for who you are

accepts you for who you are with all your imperfections

and loves you more than what you wanted them to and that's even better than perfect you

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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Do you think you are going No Where in Life? ONE LIFE SO RISE & SHINE ON


Do you think you are going No Where in Life?

STOP!

Take a deep breathe

THINK!

New York is threehours ahead of California, but that does not make California slow

Cameroon is six hours ahead of New York but it does not make New York slow.

Someone graduated from college at 22 but waited five years before securing a job.

Someone became a CEO at 25 but died at 50.

Someone became a CEO at 50 but lived to 90 years.

Someone is still single,

While another is married with children

Absolutely, everyone in this world works based on their own time zone.

People around you might seem to be ahead of you.

That’s total fine. Some are behind you.

Everyone is running their own race in their own time zone.

Don’t envy or mock them.

They are in their own time zone and you are in yours.

Life is about waiting for the right moment to react.

So RELAX.

You’re not late

You’re not early

You’re very much on time, and in your time zone.

Everyone have a different exams paper meaning different questions.

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Everyone have a different assignment meaning different purpose in life.

So focus on your own exampaper, your assignment and purpose.

Don’t copy and paste or steal answer else you will fail big time.

Your dreams and visions are all valid.Just take your time and do the best you can.

Be like the hummingbird.Even when mighty lions and tigers underestimated him,hecontinued to do what he could,where hewas ,just as he was, with the little he had.

You're ok just the way you are.The little work you are doing today might seem insignificant but I bet someday you will see the big picture.

You're Not late ! You're Not early.

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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Ultimately, one small mistake and people forget all your good deeds, why?


Ultimately, one small mistake and people forget all your good deeds, why?
Why do people forget all of your good deeds after one small mistake?
It is hard to admit for me that every one of our species is generally a self-centered being.

So you see, your good deeds are your good deeds, not their good deeds. They are much more meaningful to yourself than to others. No matter how great you have been, people will forget your greatness in days (for some, it only takes minutes to do so.). .(well, there are people who will remember to some degree, but these people are never the majority in crowds and even these people don’t always remember others’ good deeds.) It is human nature to forget and neglect. If one doesn’t forget and neglect others’ affairs, how could they happily focus on him/herself?

And it is human nature to get used to receiving good wills and take them for granted. I don’t know if you have ever heard of any stories like how someone sacrifice their money, energy and time for friends or family, and they get blamed for stop doing so when they are finally tired of the loneliness of one-sided offering game. Yes, no appreciation, just complaints and hate. If the wrongly-blamed explained that they did not owe anybody, that it is his/her right to quit, that they should not be blamed if not thanked….blabla.. The other side sometimes would defend themselves by saying things like “I did asked you to do that for me.” Anyway, a big mess, isn’t it?


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Harry

A luz que ilumina a mente nos desperta para a vida


Um dia você descobre que muitas das fórmulas e regras que você criou eram meras projeções de medos fictícios. E de repente você passa a conviver melhor consigo e a se relacionar melhor com os outros.  Aí você percebe que a vida pode ser bem mais simples do que parece e mais intensa do que se espera. Então você decide não mais viver por medos e antecipações, mas por fé e convicção. E você aprende que para uma vida plena, saudável e feliz, é preciso alimentar a fé ao invés de colecionar medos.

Harry Érick

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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MOTIVATING LINES WHICH MOTIVATES ME


MOTIVATING LINES WHICH MOTIVATES ME

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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How do you I know if i am wasting my time or not


Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I Wasting my youth”? If not, then you are probably not asking yourself the right questions. It is actually quite easy to know. Ask yourself – ‘Are you doing the MOST important things; that you could be doing or are you wallowing in moods, temptations and distractions’?

There are distractions galore in this ever advancing world. Some are obvious while most are cleverly concealed for the understanding of a brain which is 15 to 35 yrs old. Most of us give in to those distractions & temptations just as easily as they come into our lives.

Stop. Take a moment. And think about what I am writing next 
“If what you are doing is not taking you TOWARDS your Life Goals, it is taking you AWAY from them.”

Give this statement a hard thought and find out 5 things you do on a regular basis that are taking you nowhere. And with the limited time we have in our lives, to work on our purposes, wouldn’t it be a shame – to have wasted away most of it, gambled it away for pleasures that are momentary, ephemeral and addictive too? Social Media, Mobile Phone, Selfie addcition, Friends & their issues, Relationship issues & addictions, laziness, day dreaming, TV addiction to irregular sleep habits – the habit traps are many. How to get rid of bad habits- the practical way?

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People of my age and beyond know the tremendous power youthfulness has. Having lived through it, we realize in retrospect – what amazing things we could have achieved, if only we had rerouted our focus locus to a more disciplined path. And that’s why I write this blog post. Don’t do the mistakes that your fathers repent. Youth is a wonderful time to be alive, to kill yourself working out of your comfort zone, to achieve your most huge-ass dreams. Sitting and whiling away your life won’t do it. Getting up and taking action would.

Youth is that time when you are mostly attachment free, there are not many family & money responsibilities, and you can afford to fall and learn. It is that time where you can get lost, lose yourself and then find yourself back too. But most of the youth I meet / talk to as a Motivational Speaker and Trainer, haven’t even stepped out of their comfort zones, they haven’t even started walking. All they do is – give in to the pseudo pleasures they have found by aping the western culture to the hilt. Reminds me of those lines –

(You will find your way eventually, even if you make a few detours. The truly lost are those who haven’t left the confines of their homes)

I want to tell everyone who is reading – BE AFRAID !!

Yes. I am asking you to be afraid. But of falling into the wrong traps, of wasting away this one shot at achieving your dreams. But never of failure. Every failed attempt will be a feedback. But you won’t be making those attempts if you are being too addicted to GOTs, BBs, GAs, F.R.I.E.N.D.S and hundreds of other sitcoms. And if you have to really watch them, take back inspiration, not addiction. Whatever you do, whichever habits you pick, move towards becoming invincible, unbeatable and just super-duper amazing. Strive to be the top of your field, be the expert in your area of expertise – not in partying away till wee hours of the morning and then going to work too hungover to feel the beauty of life lived in full senses.

I see so many young people – simply waiting for the weekend to drink and party away their exhaustion. How does that even work? You are not treating your sorrows. You are just handling them by keeping them at bay so that they come back more forcefully to you – next Monday. It is like numbing the pain, not treating it. Painkillers don’t make your pain disappear. They just make you forget there is pain. Don’t live your youth like you are constantly high on pain meds. They will make you an addict. Not successful, not brilliant – just an addict. To a lifestyle that is not doing justice to your being human.

The realm of the physical is not the only battleground where youngsters end up losing the time of their lives. The emotional plane is a battlefield of its own kind. Which is much more difficult to be fought. The country is currently trying to start the debate of depression, we are trying to get people to open up and speak about their never-ending grief.

But the question is – why do you have this grief? Sadhguru Vasudev Jaggi says, “If you are depressed, it means that you are generating a large amount of emotions and energy but in the negative direction.” Why would you want to live with that? That’s why this debate is important. If you find that you are grief-struck (not just sad) constantly and for smallest of reasons – please speak up. More often than not, a little support will help. But please don’t let the most precious days of your lives go up in smoke because you cannot manage your brain signals – especially when managing them isn’t that difficult.

Another aspect is that of relationship addiction. Sitcoms, movies, philosophies from people who should ideally be not allowed to talk at all – have led young people into believing that being in love with someone is an integral part of life. They couldn’t be more wrong. Why would you feel complete when you find a better (or bitter) half only? If you want love to be the guiding force of your life, don’t look for it in just one relationship. Make it the lens with which you view the world. Make it the most important philosophy of your world view. Be loving to everyone in your family and friends. Be loving to yourself, your goals, your dreams. And love with abandon, without care. But not carelessly. Love your life enough to do the right things, not give into the temptations of wrong things.

Have a massive love affair with your own life. And make that the best of your relationship. Love is a beautiful foundation. Why look for it in just one type of relationship?

In the trance of youth, people give so much time into these relationships, there isn’t much time left to make this world a better place by their unique contribution. Don’t be an addict. If you have found someone, awesome. Do not centre your life on that relationship but. The two of you look at a third thing together and create wonders out of it. If you haven’t found someone, that’s absolutely fine too. You continue being the breeze of awesomeness and the right kind of love will find you.

Point is – never lose sight of your purpose, no matter what trials and tribulations life puts you through. It is your job to learn from them and move on. Don’t insult your human intelligence by wasting your life moping over your sorrows. People argue that it is one life only. Why not have fun and enjoy. Exactly my bargain! This is one life. Now that you have tried waywardness and indiscipline, why not try discipline and see – which works better for you.

When I ask someone what they are doing and they say, “Time Pass”, I cringe. 24 hours – same 24 hours every genius got and every loser got. The difference – the world knows those geniuses. And we all know a few losers as well ( … don’t become one of those losers. Time pass = time fail !!!

Discipline may not be the rosiest of things. But it is your word, your promise to yourself. And what kind of a person are you, if you can’t keep a promise you made to your own self? I deeply admire those young people who are committed to their passions. It needs discipline and a Himalayan will power to be laser sharp focused about – fitness, skills, intellect, achievements. Among the millions of snobbish, vain youngsters who know nothing but whiling away time in shallow pursuits, when I see a young boy / girl putting in all their heart and soul for becoming fitter, acquiring admirable skill sets by working hard and non-stop on their follies, or just changing the world with one act of kindness every day – I feel like there is still hope.

And I want to share that hope with the rest of you – who find it easy enough to just sit in front of the laptop, binge watch or go on sitcom marathons and devote all their time to the Internet. Please don’t do the easy. There is swaad in it. But not fruits. Instead choose the right. The pride that you are looking to see in the eyes of your loved ones will come when there is ferocity in your run towards your goals. To become the cheetah who outruns the lamb, you first need to stop being the lamb.

You are right. It is just one life. And at the end of the day, it is your choice as to how you want to spend your limited, crucial time here. But then – do learn to live with the consequences of those choices as well. If you choose temptations, learn to live with failure. If you choose right action, enjoy the exhilaration of 100% attempt, if not success!

In your heart; you know it well that your life is meant for something much more. Something much bigger than the mundane trivialities which are hijacking your neural framework & engineering it towards mediocrity and eventually failure. Isn’t it scary that –‘Your whole life could turn out to be mediocre or waste’?

Darling ! Stop day dreaming or chasing the latest toys. Live Well. One Life. And it is YOURS only, not someone else’s.


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Christoph

How times have changed


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Christoph

Hypergamy


Hypergamy is the only reason why this site exists. As it is commonly known, women will only "marry up" in order to improve their social status. Therefore, they look for a future-husband in a richer country than their own. From a man´s perspective, living in such a richer country, does it make sense to get married to such a - very attractive yet materialistic - woman? Probably, her search to even rise higher in social status won´t stop when she got married, so there is a big risk for husband #1 to get dumped for a "better" (richer or better looking) man. Marriage is always a financial risk for men, not for women. So, what do you guys think, should a man get married to a woman from a poorer country?

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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Marry Indian, save Russia


Marry Indian, save Russia

Author Maria Arbatova feels Indian bachelors should be imported into Russia as they seem to be ideal spouses.

Indian men promise to be the ideal spouses for Russian women, affected as they are by a high male death rate owing largely to unhealthy lifestyles. That is the opinion of Maria Arbatova, leading Russian feminist author and prominent television presenter.

"The import of eligible bachelors from India is my big geopolitical idea," she told RIA Novosti news agency.

India can be of help now that Russia has come to grips with its formidable demographic problem, Arbatova said during the launch of her latest book A Taste of India at the 20th Moscow International Book Fair recently.

"First, both Russians and Indians are Indo-Europeans, and we speak related languages - just look at the many similarities between Sanskrit and modern Russian vocabularies. Second, and even more important, the archetypal Indian man is a fanatic paterfamilias. To raise many children is his cherished dream, and he makes the best possible husband," remarked Arbatova, who is married to Sumeet of West Bengal in eastern India.

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Attracting Indian bachelors to Russia should be a government policy, she argues, or Russia will soon have two crosses to bear - one of its own male deaths and the other of the Chinese birth rate.

"Asian Russia, from the Pacific coast up to the Urals, is full of Chinese men anxious to marry Russian girls. If the Chinese are not promptly balanced out, no matter by whom - Indians, Africans or extra-terrestrials, either Asian Russia will become a Chinese province before 2050 or Chinese will become Russia's second official language," she jokes ironically. "Just look, Russia has two employment agencies in China, and none in India. Shame!"

Arbatova's book went on sale last spring and was on the bestseller list in summer. Britain's International Biographical Centre of Cambridge has awarded her its 20th Century Outstanding Achievement gold medal.

The author points out many similarities between Russian and Indian life.

"Socialism got my country out of the Big Game for 70 years. Colonialism did the same to India for two centuries. Both nations are now getting back to their sources in the age of globalisation. That's hard to do - like walking home inside a centrifuge," she says.

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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motivation


Do not GAMBLE with your CHARACTER by repeating unwanted actions or behavior, but WIN at the game of LIFE by using a strategy that will IMPROVE your “game” daily If you behaved in a way that you didn’t like, or did something that you wish you hadn’t, all bets are NOT off. Every day is a new OPPORTUNITY to put the odds back in your FAVOR Just because you dealt yourself a bad hand one time does NOT mean that you have to continue on that “losing streak”. While it is okay to hit the occasional “craps”, just be sure that the next time you are handed the SAME dice, you roll them in a DIFFERENT way…it is in repeating the behavior that will cost you all of your moral chips Each night, take the time to review in your mind how you would have done things differently, picture the WINNING result…and hit your moral JACKPOT tomorrow

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Danny, 37 y.o.

India

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motivation


♥ Our GOALS should always be set HIGH…scary high…but the remarkable reality of this is that if the idea for something is in your mind, it is ALREADY achievable, for it ALREADY exists in the world…it is now up to you to make it appear. Should you doubt this, understand that the only thing that is standing in your way are your thoughts ♥ Gain the awareness of your UNLIMITED ABILITY by taking the necessary actions in order to PROGRESS toward your goals...With each step that you complete on the way, allow it to build your CONFIDENCE that you are CAPABLE of your dream, for ultimately it is the collection of these very steps that will carry you over the FINISH line ♥ Remove your questions as to what you are CAPABLE of, for to doubt yourself is to doubt God, as He created you in order to THRIVE…it is our nature to SUCCEED ♥ Do not wait until something is accomplished in order to have FAITH...If the caterpillar ignored its instinct, we wouldn't have any butterflies… Emerge from the cocoon of your limiting thoughts…the beauty and wings of PROSPERITY await YOU ♥


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Mihail

Не могу понять......


Зарегистрировался на сайте. Смотрю девушки, мои ровесницы, 18,19, 20 лет, но выставляют, что они ищут партнёра даже в 45 лет и до 89 лет. То есть, если партнёр будет иметь состояние, то она сможет жить с человеком, который старше её на 50 и более лет. А как же мораль, чистая, искренняя любовь и влечение?

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