Leo "la queja" de que no se tiene mucho éxito en encontrar a tu media naranja aquí.

En mi caso, viajo ahora por el mundo y mis recursos son invertidos en ésta nueva etapa de mi vida, Ingeniero ya retirado y con todo el tiempo a mi disposición.

Pero soy muy desconfiado en invertir mi tiempo y recursos, si quisiera viajar nuevamente a Rusia , con las situaciones actuales, no es nada fácil.

Quise visitar Ucrania, pero el conflicto en ambos países, lo impiden.

Vale la pena entablar relaciones ? Hace tiempo hice algún contacto con las damas de éste sitio, pero veo a las mismas personas como si no hubiese pasado el tiempo.

Ésto vale para escuchar sus experiencias en éstas metas de ambos lados. Son exitosos en su búsqueda?

2- Health problems
There is a complex relationship between psychological stress and pain symptoms, as some studies say that painful or negative emotional experiences can lead to a verbal reaction that appears as physical pain.

Focusing on a traumatic event in the past can increase feelings of stress and lead to a number of health problems such as altered brain chemistry, high blood pressure, cancer, diabetes, and a weakened immune system.
3- Psychological damage
Sometimes one episode of emotional pain is enough to seriously damage a person's mental health. For physical pain to have an impact on our mental health, it must be intense and traumatic.

Long-term emotional pain can trigger symptoms of depression in individuals, which can lead to a higher risk of abusive behavior or deviant behavior such as substance abuse.
4- Empathy gaps
An empathy gap usually reflects a person's tendency to underestimate the influence of other psychological states on their behavior and to make choices that take into account only their current feelings or current moods.

Empathy gaps can reduce emotional pain, but not physical pain. Therefore, when emotional pain appears, it causes more pain than physical pain.

Experts recommend that mental health should be treated with the same level of care and attention as physical health. When a person suffers emotional injuries such as rejection, failure, loneliness, or guilt, their first concern should be to heal them, in the same way that they rush to heal physical wounds.

- Why writing a profile? 10% of women read it and care about it. Only appearance matter for them?

So i completely agree with Robert from UK saying below "Can someone help me understand the mentality here. A lot of girls on this this website claim to want a relationship but quite a few literally force you to carry the conversation. What I mean by that is you are expected to generate all the conversation and questions, that is understandable for the first few messages but quickly starts to become irritating and condescending especially when you have been communicating for a week or more."

My faith is gone, it is discouraging, i couldn't imagine it would be so hard.

Game over. Good luck to you guys !

- Why writing a profile? 10% of women read it and care about it. Only appearance matter for them?

So i completely agree with Robert from UK saying below "Can someone help me understand the mentality here. A lot of girls on this this website claim to want a relationship but quite a few literally force you to carry the conversation. What I mean by that is you are expected to generate all the conversation and questions, that is understandable for the first few messages but quickly starts to become irritating and condescending especially when you have been communicating for a week or more."

My faith is gone, it is discouraging, i couldn't imagine it would be so hard.

Game over. Good luck to you guys !

Wasu smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, lassi, water and orange juice.'

Almost stuttering, I said, 'I'll take a Lassi." Handing me my drink, Wasu said, 'If you'd like something

Handing me my drink, Wasu said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Hindu, Times of India, ET and India Today!

As they were pulling away, Wasu handed me another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.

And as if that weren't enough, Wasu told me that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.

Then he advised me of the best route to my destination for that time of day. He also let me know that he'd be happy to chat and tell me about some of the sights or, if preferred, to leave me with my own thoughts.

'Tell me, Wasu,' I was amazed and asked him, 'have you always served customers like this?'

Wasu smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then heard about power of choice one day.'

'Power of choice is that you can be a duck or an eagle. 'If you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. Stop complaining!'

'Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd. 'That hit me right,' said Wasu.

'It is about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.' 'I take it that has paid off for you,' I said.

'It sure has, Wasu replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I

'It sure has, Wasu replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on it.'

Wasu made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

Relax. Take a deep breath. Don’t compare yourself with others. The world is full of all kinds of people – those who get successful early in life and those who do later. There are those who get married at 25 but divorced at 30, and there are also those who find love at 40, never to part with them again. Henry Ford was 45 when he designed his revolutionary Model T car. A simple message for this:

“You are unique, don't compare yourself to others.

Someone graduated at the age of 22, yet waited 5 years before securing a good job; and there is another who graduated at 27 and secured employment immediately!

Someone became CEO at 25 and died at 50 while another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years.

Everyone works based on their 'Time Zone'. People can have things worked out only according to their pace.

Work in your “time zone”. Your Colleagues, friends, younger ones might "seem" to go ahead of you. May be some might "seem" behind you. Everyone is in this world running their own race on their own lane in their own time. God has a different plan for everybody. Time is the difference.

Obama retires at 55, Trump resumes at 70. Don't envy them or mock them, it's their 'Time Zone.' You are in yours!”

Early success doesn’t mean a happy life. You could open a company at 25, you could also go bankrupt at 30 if the company dissolves. You could find success at 40, and perhaps you’d be more well-equipped to handle it then. Whatever happens, happens for a reason.

Maybe that lost job was not right for you. Maybe you are meant to hone your skills for something great later. There is no right time. We get things when we are ready for them. When it doesn’t happen for you, it means it’s not supposed to happen right now. No point worrying yourself sick and envying another.

Spend your time polishing your personality, acquiring new skills, learning a new language – create the person you want to be in future. Create the personality that will match your success. Work towards your goal at your own pace. Everybody has their own timeline. What if you are meant to do something worthwhile in some years when you are older and wiser, but you were too busy feeling bad about yourself and drowning your woes in alcohol. Imagine the regret.

Opportunities never cease to come. If today is not your day, it could be tomorrow. Don’t stop living your life just because it isn’t happening.

5. GROUND RULES : Initial phase of relationship is very beautiful but then you see differences affecting you. So that's why, it's very important to set some Ground Rules for Example which things acts as triggers to you both? In any situation you both will not insult each other, no disrespect of each other, not making your partner feel jealous, So a LIFE PARTNER should have this clarity!

4. Choose a partner who has a different way of communication from yourself.Because, if the communication style is same.No one would be actually ready to communicate differently and resolve the fight or issues in a relationship.

5. Some people think "This point of his or her can't satisfy me, Ok, it doesn't matter. Let it go.At least, I can change him or her", "He/she will surely change for me".Actually, it is almost impossible to change an adult.

6. Some people choose a life partner based on money or looks rather than inner qualities.They think that material conditions are the basis of love, which is totally wrong. Whether two people can have a lasting relationship, mainly depends on the inner qualities.

Хорошие мужчины существуют. Единственная причина, по которой целая куча женщин их не находит, это то, что хорошие мужчины не ходят в клубы. Они не ходят в бары, Они не ходят туда, где будет хаос. Хорошие люди остаются дома, где, как они знают, царит тишина и покой, потому что хорошие люди ценят свой покой. Хорошие мужчины также держат своих круглых друзей маленькими, потому что они могут отличить хорошего человека от плохого. Если они общаются с плохим человеком, то они нехороший человек. Теперь они? Хорошие мужчины ценят дружбу, которая у них есть, и они ценят то, во что я верю. Поэтому хорошие мужчины не собираются окружать себя плохими людьми, потому что это разрушит их часть. Они предпочли бы быть с небольшой группой друзей, которые имеют те же ценности, что и они, которые ценят мир. Многие хорошие мужчины также остаются дома со своими женами и детьми, потому что они ценят семьи. Многие хорошие люди также ходят в церковь, потому что они знают, что именно в этом заключаются их ценности, потому что они знают, что церковь — это то, что делает их хорошими людьми. Итак, если вы хотите знать, где находятся все хорошие мужчины, они держатся за себя, потому что ценят свой мир и покой.

If a person (not necessarily both people) gets distracted, stressed, depressed, or loses interest, respect, attraction, or love, he or she can hog all the power in the relationship and make the relationship imbalanced, unfair, and unhealthy.

This can, in turn, make the more invested and underprioritized person wonder about his or her place in the relationship and cause him or her to act on anxiety, fear, uncertainty, and anger.

Strong reactions from the neglected person then make the person with unresolved problems even more certain that he or she is unhappy and that the relationship demands that he or she puts in the time and effort he or she doesn’t have or want to put in.

In other words, the relationship smothers him or her, which is exactly the opposite of what he or she needs to self-prioritize and think positively about the relationship.

If a relationship used to be all sunshine and lollipops but it’s not anymore, this doesn’t mean that something’s wrong with the relationship. It just means that the couple has gone through the infatuation phase and that they’ve hit a point where they actually have to put the work in.

Before, they could operate on autopilot and be happy with little to no effort. But after they get to know each other, they need to communicate, express themselves properly, spend time together, ask questions, pay attention to each other’s problems and feelings, empathize, and much more.
This on its own is hard work because it’s what every relationship consists of and needs to survive. If people aren’t ready to invest in their partner, they shouldn’t be in a relationship. They should be figuring out what they want and don’t want so they can work on their problems.

Some people need to process their previous relationships, work on their attachment styles, and get rid of their fears whereas others must set some healthy relationship goals and priorities and develop a desire to be in a serious committed relationship.

Every relationship is different, but that doesn’t suggest that relationships are supposed to be a cakewalk.

How hard they are strictly depends on each individual’s

self-awareness
self-control
expressiveness
stress/problem management
and overall maturity
If you want your relationship to be easy or as easy as it can be, you shouldn’t point out your partner’s flaws and express discontent (at least not in criticizing ways). You should focus on things that need to improve within you because by doing so, you’ll mature and encourage your partner to do the same.
If you try to change your partner by condemning him or her, all you’ll do is hurt your partner and force him or her to defend himself or herself. Most people say hurtful things back because they feel judged and attacked.

Look, there’s nothing wrong with wanting your partner to grow as no one’s perfect. But the way to go about this is to make it your partner’s idea to grow. That’s the only way your partner will see that you accept him or her and want the best for the relationship.

Avoid saying things like why “can’t you, why do you always, I want you to…” and instead, say “why don’t we try, what do you think we should, how do you want to…”

The only way you’ll encourage self-development is by showing that you accept your partner as he or she is but that you’d like the relationship to benefit from some healthy changes.

taking care of yourself after all you

deserve it it's natural to feel a little

down when someone you care about leaves

you but don't dwell on it for too long

there are plenty of other people in the

world who would love to be in your life

after a breakup it's normal to spend

some time dwelling on what went wrong

but eventually you'll need to move on

focus on the positive aspects of the

situation and remember that you're

better off without someone who doesn't

appreciate you soon enough you'll find

someone new to worry about feeling left

behind can result in depression anxiety

and low self-esteem if you find yourself

feeling this way it's important to seek

help this will assist you in exploring

the root of your feelings and help you

develop coping mechanisms don't be

afraid to reach out for help when

someone leaves us it can be hard to

understand why we might feel like we did

something wrong or that we weren't good

enough these feelings are normal but

it's important to remember that the

person who left isn't worth your worry

there are plenty of other people in the

world who would love to be in your life

don't waste your time worrying about

someone who doesn't want to be with you

instead focus on the people who do want

to be in your life and make the most of

those relationships why do we worry

about those that leave us we were worry

about those that leave us because we

think that we did something wrong we

think that if we had just been a little

better a little more perfect they would

have stayed but the truth is people

leave for all sorts of reasons and

usually it has nothing to do with us

it's normal to feel upset and even a

little panicked when someone you care

about walks away from you but there's no

need to dwell on what could have been or

what might happen next instead take this

time to focus on yourself and your own

happiness so next time someone leaves

you instead of worrying about what you

could have done differently focus on

what you can do now to improve your life

you'll be much happier in the long run

letting go and moving on it can be

really tough when someone that you care

about leaves you you may feel like you

will never be able to move on and that

your life will never be the same but it

is important to remember that life does

go on and that you will be able to find

happiness again give yourself time to

grieve it is important to allow yourself

to feel the pain and sadness that comes

with loss don't try to bottle up your

emotions or pretend like everything is

is okay when it's not allow yourself to

cry scream and do whatever you need to

do to release the pain lean on your

friends and family they will be there to

support you and help you through this

tough time let them help you by talking

to them about how you're feeling or by

doing things together that make you

happy also find a positive outlet for

your emotions whether it's writing in a

journal painting or going for walks in

nature find an activity that helps you

express yourself in a positive way this

can be a great way to release some of

the negative emotions you may be feeling

focus on the future it's important to

remember that life goes on and that you

will be able to find happiness again

don't dwell in the past in what could

have been instead focus on the present

and what you can do to make your future

bright seek professional help if you

need it if you find that you're

struggling to cope with your emotions

don't be afraid to seek professional

help a therapist can help you work

through your emotions and develop

healthy coping mechanisms moving on

after someone leaves you is never easy

but it is possible with time patience

and support from loved ones you will be

able to heal your broken heart and find

happiness again also give yourself time

it takes time to heal from A Loss don't

expect to be over it immediately allow

yourself the time you need to grieve and

heal give yourself time

reasons why people leave there are many

reasons why someone might leave you they

may have found someone new they may be

moving away or they may simply not be

interested in you anymore and still

others might leave because they are

simply not ready for a committed

relationship whatever the reason it's

important to remember that you are not

responsible for their decision to leave

and that you should not take it

personally if you are worried about

someone that has left you it is

important to remember that there is no

single reason why people leave

relationships it could be anything from

incompatibility to timing to simply not

being ready for a commitment if you are

worried about someone that has left you

try to remember that there could be any

number of reasons why they made that

decision there are plenty of other

people in the world who would be happy

to be in a relationship with you so

instead of dwelling on the person who

left you focus on finding someone who

will appreciate you for who you are

breaking up is never easy but remember

that it is usually for the best yes it

is for the best

how to stop worrying about someone that

left you it can be difficult to stop

worrying about someone that left you but

there are some things you can do to

manage your anxiety and move on first

try to understand why you are worried

what are you afraid of are you afraid of

being alone of being rejected of never

finding someone else once you identify

your fears you can start to work on

addressing them if you're afraid of

being alone try to focus on the positive

aspects of single life you have more

time for yourself you can pursue your

own interests and you don't have to

compromise with another person if you're

afraid of rejection remind yourself that

not everyone will like or love you but

that doesn't mean there's something

wrong with you and if you're worried

about never finding someone else remind

yourself that there are billions of

people in the world and that it's highly

unlikely that you'll never meet someone

else once you've identified your fears

and started working on addressing them

try to keep yourself busy fill your time

with activities that make you happy and

distracted from your worry spend time

with friends and family pursue a hobby

or volunteer for a cause you're

passionate about the more constructive

and positive things you have going on in

your life the less time and energy

you'll have to spend worrying about

someone that left you it's time to take

a step back and reassess the situation

this person is no longer in your life

for a reason so it's important to

respect their decision and move on stop

worrying about someone that left you I

know it can be difficult to accept that

someone is no longer in your life but

it's important to face the facts if

you're still dwelling on the past it

will be difficult to move on so don't

dwell on what could have been it's

natural to wonder what could have been

but dwelling on possibilities is only

going to make you more upset except that

things didn't work out and focus on the

present and like I said before take some

time for yourself now that this person

is out of your life it's important to

focus on taking care of yourself indulge

in activities that make you happy spend

time with people that make you feel good

and do whatever you need to do to feel

feel better also don't try to replace

them it's tempting to try and find

someone else to fill the void that this

person has left but it's important to

take some time for yourself before

jumping into another relationship you

need to figure out who you are and what

you want without this person so take

some time to grieve the loss of this

person then focus on taking care of

yourself when you're ready you can start

looking for someone new but they'll

force it the right person will come

along when you least expect it and also

don't compare yourself to this person

it's easy to look at someone that left

you and think that you're not good

enough but that's not true everyone is

different and everyone has different

preferences just because this person

didn't want to be with you doesn't mean

that there's something wrong with you so

stop worrying about someone that left

you take some time for yourself focus on

the present and don't compare yourself

to this person you're better off without

them

it can be tough when someone we care

about leaves us but it's important to

remember that they made their decision

for a reason if someone wants to be in

our lives they will make the effort to

stay worrying about someone who has left

only causes undue stress and pain so

it's best to let them go and focus on

the people who are still here if you're

struggling to cope with the loss of

someone it's important to seek help a

therapist can assist you in exploring

your emotions and developing healthy

coping mechanisms remember it's okay to

ask for help yes ask for help today

foreign

These shortcomings come out because people get used to being with their partner, take their partner for granted (at least a bit), and unknowingly project their unhappiness onto him or her and test their partner’s patience. Not all people treat their partner poorly, of course, but many do because they never learned to value people and control their impulses.

They didn’t need to because they got away with certain behaviors in the past without paying the price for it. Because they had a get out of jail free card, they, as a result, neglected the importance of self-growth and carried their childhood issues, traumas, fears, anger issues, trust issues, abandonment issues, and poor communication styles into their relationships and through self-negligence destroyed their relationships before they even started.

The problem with people in relationships isn’t that they have flaws. It’s that they don’t have the desire to look for flaws, identify them, work on them, and compromise when they need to. They’d rather let the other person do the work while they carry on inattentively and mind their own business.

If they took the time to invest in themselves, they could sometimes (not always) prevent their partner from becoming resentful and leaving them. They could continue to stay in love and grow both individually and as romantic partners.

But enough about that. You’re here because you’re asking yourself, “Will I ever find love again?” You want to know if what you had before is what you can have again and be like other successful couples. The quick answer to your query is YES. You will find love again. And the good thing about it is that it will most likely be even more fulfilling, healthy, durable, and long-lasting.

This is because romantic failures have taught you that relationships need work and that if someone (whether it’s you or your partner) stops prioritizing the relationship, things can quickly take a turn for the worse. They can lead to cheating, neglect, depression, suffocation, and a loss of feelings.
There’s no denying the fact that numerous smart, good-looking, successful, ambitious people are struggling to find love. Many are doing extremely well at work or home, have many friends, enjoy their lives, and live healthy lifestyles, but they still can’t find a worthwhile person to commit to and stay with long-term.

Why is that?

Oftentimes people aren’t ready for love. They’re broken-hearted, insecure, or desperate for a connection, so they want love for all the wrong reasons. Instead of wanting someone who will complete them, they want a person who will make them.

And that’s wrong because no person should teach them how to live and be their everything. Romantic partners are a big part of our lives, that’s for certain. But they can’t be the sole purpose we get up for in the morning.

Not unless they’re incapable of taking care of themselves and need our help. But that’s a topic for another time.

The point I’m trying to make is that most people reading this article wonder if they’ll ever find love again because they’re dealing with romantic rejection. They’re hurt, sad, miserable, and are struggling to accept the breakup and love themselves. That’s why instead of working on themselves, they want to find love again and be happy with the help of another person.

A person going through a breakup or dealing with something difficult shouldn’t be obsessively thinking about finding love again. He or she should be taking the long road to self-acceptance and healing, which is to improve self-esteem and other areas of life that are lacking.

This includes friendships, family bonds, work, passion, independence, physical/emotional health, and much more. These are just a few things people in pain, asking themselves, “Will I ever find love again” should be focusing on. You see, love is like a drug. The moment anxious people find it, many if not most of them will stop working on themselves.

They’ll feel too validated to look within and change some of the things that need changing.

I’m not saying they should do nothing but mull over their misery, but if they got broken up with, they should use the time after the breakup to become emotionally stronger and wiser. If they can focus on themselves rather than other people, they can outgrow their old selves and not have to wonder whether they’ll find love again.

They can find something much better – which is self-love.

Those who keep looking for love when they’re struggling to find internal peace and happiness eventually find love. But because they’re obsessed with feeling the kind of love they felt in the past, they go through the rebound stages and fail to stay connected.

They fail at keeping their love alive because they aren’t emotionally ready for new emotional investments.

Look, I get it, being alone when your friends are settling down, getting married, and having kids can feel like you’re the only one who failed to find happiness. But you need to understand that you’re not in competition with your friends. You don’t need to have things society wants you to have and reach your family’s expectations.

All you need is to know that finding love takes time and that it’s okay even if it takes decades. Lots of people divorce at various ages and points in life. This is normal, and quite honestly, healthy for many. Those who break up have some things to learn and improve so they can find love again.

If you can’t find love and are afraid you’ll never find it again, try not to think poorly of yourself. Don’t think that something’s wrong with you and that you’re not worthy of love and commitment. Also, don’t think about giving up on love. You probably feel like the people you date always disappoint you, but there’s a reason for that.

We need to identify that reason (or reasons) so you can have a better chance of finding real love. Please read until the end so you can discover the cause of your lack of romantic progression.

One of the most plausible reasons you’re struggling to find love again is that you’re still processing the end of your previous relationship and aren’t emotionally ready for love yet. You’re still thinking about the person who broke your heart and fantasizing about being with that person.

If that’s what you’re doing, you’re incapable of being in a relationship even if Mr. or Mrs. right takes interest in you. As long as you’re hurting over the loss of a relationship and need your ex to validate you, it’s impossible for you to connect with anyone else. Your heart still belongs to your ex, so it’s not going to open up to someone else no matter how hard you try.

All you’ll do by forcing it is realize your ex was the better person for you and get hurt and nostalgic in the process. So before you even try to fall in love with someone else, make sure to get your ex out of your system. Sign up for therapy, exercise, spend time with friends and family, and distract yourself. These things will help you process the breakup at the fastest rate possible and allow you to feel something for the people you associate with.

Another reason why you might be having a hard time finding love is that you’re not interacting with lots of people. You might be living quite an asocial life and have very few romantic opportunities. To find love, you don’t have to be the most social person on the planet, but you do have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone and live your life.

Do that by accepting people’s invitations, going out with friends more, attending various shows, concerts, events, and joining local communities. There’s a lot you can do to increase the number of people you meet and interact with.

The third reason you might be struggling to keep men or women interested is that your self-esteem and confidence are low. You probably know how important these traits are because they make certain impressions on people. They tell people how you think of yourself and how hard they’d have to invest in you to make the relationship work.

If you can improve confidence and self-esteem, you should attract more people into your life.

To boost them, work on your physical appearance, social skills, fears, and take risks in life. Try to improve the way you see yourself and your understanding of who you are as a person.

We also need to point out that you might need to work on yourself a bit more. If you lack self-awareness and are saying things people find offensive, for example, you need to look into that. Find out if the way you act or don’t act is healthy and generally accepted so that you can improve yourself if needed.

The fifth reason why you’re struggling to find love might be that you’re impatient and want love right away. If that’s the issue, you need to learn that love isn’t something you can get just because you want it badly. It’s something that happens when two people like and respect each other to the point where they want to grow and progress in life together.

You may want to connect a bit too much because you’re impatient or afraid you’re running out of time. Figure out if that’s the case so you can slow down a bit.

The final point is that you might have a difficult time settling down with people. Instead of giving people a fair chance, you get bored or disappointed and start looking for the next best thing. That would imply that you’re not sure about what you want from your relationships and that you want to find the best person rather than become the best with him or her.

Lower your standards a little bit
Finding a person identical to you in all aspects of life is never going to happen because there is no other you in this world. You won’t find him or her no matter where you look because he or she exists only in your imagination.

Even if you find someone with the same interests and similar personalities, the two of you could still have gender differences, hormonal differences, cultural differences, behavioral differences, differences in upbringing, and differences of opinion.

Something will always be different, so there’s no point in looking for a mirror image of you. It’s good to respect yourself and set the bar high, but don’t go looking high up in heaven. People have flaws and differences and sometimes we need to accept them just as they need to accept ours. That’s how we can give room for growth to occur and the relationship a chance to develop.

A person who likes you will probably take up some of your hobbies and interest, copy your vocabulary, and mimic some of your behaviors. That’s because love unites couples, makes their lifestyles somewhat similar, and enables them to live joyfully.

So instead of wondering if you’ll ever find a person like you or one of your exes, know that you don’t need a person like your ex to be happy. Your ex is your ex (a person the relationship failed with), so you just need an open-minded person with similar values to you.

In other words, you need a mature person who has set his or her priorities straight and wants what you want – a serious commitment.

I know I make this sound easy, but it’s anything but. People are different and often resistant to change. They value their opinions a lot because their opinions identify them and tell them what they should accept, reject, and fight for. But despite that, you should look for someone who’s already done the work on himself or herself and is ready for a serious relationship.

A man or woman like that likely won’t spend 5 days a week at the bar getting wasted. He or she will work (or go to school), be family-oriented, understand the importance of physical and emotional health, and have control over his or her negative thoughts and emotions.

The kind of love you’re looking for, therefore, is built on virtues, acceptance, and understanding. You want someone who will stick with you through thick and thin and not leave when stress, pressure, anxiety, differences of opinion, and other unpleasant thoughts and feelings pile up.

If you ask me, that kind of person is worth waiting for. I’ve dated a fair share of people, and I can tell you I’d rather be single than stay with a person who makes me feel unloved and can’t grow with me. To me, the ability to grow is probably the most important thing I look for and respect in a person. Everything else (common hobbies and interests, communication differences, understanding each other better, and even goals) we can work on as we go.

So if I managed to convince you a little, don’t look for a perfect person. If you look for a perfect person, you’ll move from one person to the next without truly getting to know people. To give people a chance, you have to give them about half a year of time to show you what they’re made of.

Half a year should be enough for you to see if your values are aligned and if you can grow together.

Of course, you don't have to stay with people if there's no chemistry and attraction, but do see if they've done any work on themselves, if they're capable of handling constructive criticism, and if they're willing to work with you on problems when they emerge.

Of course, this also applies to you. Relationships go both ways, so if your partner (or someone you like) is dedicated to you and ready to adapt, don’t get scared and think less of him or her. You should be willing to improve and grow simultaneously because it’s the mature thing to do.

The sad reality though, is that some people are better equipped for long-term relationships than others. Some develop open-mindedness and empathy because they spend more time reflecting on their behaviors, whereas others completely ignore the need to do that and fail.

They grow only when they need to because they’re motivated by pain and demotivated by joy. In other words, they lack self-awareness and the understanding that self-development is a constant lifelong process.

It’s only a matter of time before you find love again
If you found love before, you can be certain that you’ll find love again. It may not happen when you want it to, but that’s probably for the best because you want to keep your expectations low. You want to be detached from the outcome as that will make you as attractive you can be.

So try not to worry about whether you’ll find love again after a breakup. If you’re open to love and don’t live in a bunker completely cut off from society, finding love is inevitable. You’ll most likely find it when you’re not thinking about it anymore and don’t need anyone but yourself to be happy.

That’s when you’ll start wondering if worrying about finding love again was even worth it.

Mark my words that you’ll find love again. Just make sure to do the work on yourself so you’re ready for it when it finds you.

which deals with all these needs

physical needs,

psychological needs,

emotional needs,

social needs,

sometimes financial needs also.

So it is a comprehensive package,

that if you get married all these problems are solved in one shot.

Sometimes they may refuse to fulfill some of your needs,

so you get stressed, strained and tortured.

I want you to understand

you married for your well-being,

not as some sacrifice for somebody’s sake.

You married for your needs and your well-being, isn’t it?

You better remember that all your life.

You married and tied up the other person with you

because you have needs.

You did not do it for the other person’s sake.

Yes or no?

Let’s be straight about this.

Yes or no?

Yes.

You remember this.

If you remember this, you will live in little gratitude, okay?

If not all the five – pancha,

you know the five needs,

at least two you fulfill for me,

thank you very much, isn’t it?

All the five perfectly, maybe they did not fulfill,

at least two or three they fulfilled, right -

your husband or your wife?

Did they, didn’t they?

If they did not fulfill anything,

I don’t think you would be there by now.

Yes or no?

If they did not fulfill any of your needs,

I do not think you would still be there.

They are fulfilling some needs,

a few things maybe they are not able to fulfill.

So are you.

You are also not able to fulfill

every one of the needs of the other person.

Some you are fulfilling, some you are not.

Isn’t it so?

So why did this become stress, strain and torture?

Whichever way you have made it, till now it doesn’t matter;

if you are willing, in three days’ time

it doesn’t matter how bad your situation is,

in three days’ time you can bring it to a semblance of peace.

If not love,

if not ecstasy,

at least you can bring it to a peaceful state in three days’ time

if you are willing, hundred percent.

Yes or no?

Hmm?

At least you can shut-up,

simply, whatever happens.

Peace will happen

and maybe they will love it.

So don’t walk the path of yoga,

whatever the path,

you must carry yoga with you.

If you carry yoga with you,

it’ll light up your path, whatever path you have chosen.

You have chosen your path out of your needs.

You already done it,

so that’s up to you.

Those who have done it,

I would like you to choose your path

not out of your compulsive needs,

but of your conscious needs.

So when that stage in your life comes,

it is time to consciously look at your life and see

will today’s needs mean something to you after five years or ten years?

Will it be worthwhile to tie up your life

for the simple needs that you have today

or will… are these just passing needs for you?

If it’s a very strong need, you must marry.

If it is not a strong need, it’s a passing need,

you can work out your needs probably

by just going to a cinema.

Then no need to get married, you know.

Yes,

many people are like this.

Their needs are not very strong.

It’s just passing,

but social structure tells them you have to.

Not necessary.

It must be a conscious choice.

Whichever way you go, it must be your conscious choice,

not compulsive choices

because if you choose compulsively

you will always take it out on the people around you

because you feel like a slave

and you don’t like it.

So you take it out on them

and they will take it out on you.

So it is not about what you are doing,

it is about how you do it.

What you are doing is according to our requirements,

but how you do it will determine the nature of your life.

Is it an advantage to walk single

rather than walk with people?

Yes,

if you want to walk rapidly.

In Africa there is a saying.

They say,

“If you want to walk quick, walk alone.

If you want to walk long, walk in company.”

If you’re making a long distance journey,

it’s better to have company.

If you’re walking a short distance

and very quick you want to walk,

it’s best to go alone, isn’t it?

Gautama said another thing.

When somebody asked him the same question,

he said,

“It is better to walk alone than to walk with a fool.”

Because by looking at you

he is very clear who else will marry you

so that is Gautama's way of working

So he said

he is always discouraging people to take company

he said

this life is a brief walk

why do you need a company?

When you leave this body it's a long place

there I will be there

this is the offer

But you think life is long,

so maybe you need company.

If you need company you take it,

but how you conduct this company is very important.

If you want to conduct this sensibly,

one of the most important things that you need to do

particularly with your children, you must do this - is

your psychological and your emotional framework

should be around the basic fact of life.

The basic fact of life is that you are mortal.

Your psychological and emotional structure should be formed around your mortality.

This is most important.

If you are constantly aware that this is a brief life,

any moment you will fall dead. Actually

then you would organize your life

and conduct your life in a certain way.

When you know time is ticking away, any moment you will be knocked down,

you have no time to get angry with somebody, isn’t it?

You have no time to fight with somebody here.

You have no time to sit there depressed for a long period of time

because tick, tick, tick, tick, it’s going away.

Because your psychological structure is organized around your immortality,

because of that you have lot of time to fight,

to be depressed,

to be frustrated,

to fret,

to fume -

you have lot of time.

So it’s very, very important that everybody organizes

their psychological and emotional structure

around the mortal nature of our existence.

After all you are just a baton carrier

between the last generation and the next generation, isn’t it?

Yes?

For a brief time it’s in your hands, this world,

afterwards somebody else is going to take it.

You will see taking the baton from the previous generation

happens in most ugly ways,

handing over the baton to the next generation happens in horrible ways,

simply because people’s mind is structured

around their belief of immortality.

They don’t see they are mortal.

If you’re constantly aware that you are mortal,

sense will naturally dawn upon you.

You will have no time for foolishness.

Suppose you are aware that tomorrow you are going to die,

would you spend today fighting with somebody?

Hmm?

Because your time is ticking, isn’t it?

And your time is ticking even now,

not after a doctor diagnoses you with some horrible disease.

Even now it’s ticking.

Isn’t it so?

If you want to explore the possibility of what this is,

the immensity of what this is,

then the time is ticking too rapidly

and time is a extremely relative experience.

If you are joyful and blissful,

even if you live to be hundred, it’s a very brief life,

it’s gone in no time.

So in this brief life,

where do you get time

for stress, strain and torture?

I don’t know where you get time.

This is simply because

you think you are immortal,

this is the biggest mistake you have done.

It is just a brief journey.

You must conduct it as gracefully,

as blissfully as possible.

If you do not know the cosmos,

at least you must know this piece of life

before you fall dead.

That must happen to everybody.