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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Here are some of the pitfalls of casual sex and why such casual relationships don’t work out well –


1. There is nothing casual about casual sex How can there be!

Casual is something you can do anywhere, with anyone, about anything. Can you have sex with just about anyone, at anyplace?

“I don’t want to be wise”, “I do it because it makes me happy”, “What I do with my body should be my choice”, “Why is sex such a taboo in this country of over 1 billion people”, “It’s no one’s business if I do something to make myself happy”: how people protest when this topic comes up.

And they would be right, if these things were true. No problem with you spending time with whoever you want. It is your life. Concern however is with 1) where it unknowingly leads you to and 2) what about people who are unable to handle it. So, if you are someone who thinks they can fiddle with as many underwears like a boss without losing their shit– you might be too evolved for this post

casual_sex_is_not_so_casual

How can a process that creates humans be casual? You are dressing up and then undressing to do this. Doesn’t sound casual at all. Although the TV, Movies and Internet would differ in their view about this (Reason- TRP goals).

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What Eastern Philosophy says about the ‘casuality of’ Casual Sex?

Many of us misunderstand ancient Indian yogic philosophy when it comes to casual sex and sexual pursuits, practices of monogamy and moderation, why it does not approve of casual sex etc. That’s because those many of us have never bothered to read those texts.

Without getting into much detail here, let me tell you – the yogic science says our body operates on energy circulation. Sexual energy is the lowest on the energy scoreboard and it originates in the lower most part of the body. Up along the spine, there are six more chakras to unlock, six more powerful energy sources to activate, and six higher levels of joy to experience. If you want to exist on the lowest level of joy and pleasure, so be it!

Moderation is advocated to ensure you find time for higher pursuits. Yes! Sex is important in a relationship but Sex is not the only way to merge. And if it is the only way for someone then that person is lying grossly low on the evolution plane. Otherwise, what do the saints and rishis care – about what you choose to do with your body parts. It is no one’s business but yours – as to which body part you choose to use more, your brains or your genital organs.

If you want to know more, do watch Sadhguru’s take on sex obsession in this amazing video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2QXcMZcqaE

2.Casual Sex creates an illusion of a relationship, not a solid foundation

I know you are getting flashbacks of movies like ‘Friends with Benefits’ and ‘No strings attached’. Come back to the present.

The advent of Netflix, fast internet, the proliferation of sitcoms needs to be treated with caution. I know we are in a global culture but we also need the mental ability to process it and see where it fits in our lives – before blindly accepting everything as suitable and doable just because two actors on TV are doing it.

Yes Joey may have hooked up casually all throughout the 10 seasons of ‘FRIENDS’ but when he really ended up liking Rachel, the casual thing didn’t work. Monica and Chandler had to work really hard on their relationship which started with casual maybe went through a lot of grind. What I am saying is – it won’t be as ‘easy peasy’ as all the Hollywood rom-coms make it look like. They never show what happens after the honeymoon period because that’s when all hell breaks loose–

When you have sex too quickly, you are mostly letting your hormones do the talking. Logic, judgement and clothes are usually out of the window. It is like a drug high. When the high ends, chances of it ‘becoming’ your dream relationship are very rare. If at all it sustains, it will take a really long time and hard work to turn it into a workable relationship. And now you probably don’t like that talking, thinking, clothed person but you have come too far.

Why not put in that level of work from the start!

I am not saying it is not fun and exciting. It sure is. But maybe only for those 15-20 minutes when the endorphins made you think you two have so much in common and this should never end.

Sex often creates an illusion of a relationship. But it does not lay a solid ground for one. In the heat of the moment, people say things they probably mean at that point. But when they go back and heartbeat is back to normal, most people don’t intend to act on them. A calm heart makes the best decisions, not a raging libido.

illusion_of_relationship

You can recover from it twice, maybe thrice. But it is like getting addicted to substance. Every time you use, you need a little bit more to get high. But when you come crashing down to reality, the fall is harder than the last. Till you reach a point of no return and all reality is lost. I know people who get so addicted to this impulsive instant ‘feel-good’ gratification that they don’t want to invest in a real relationship. Casual sex is too easy. But its pitfall is that – it makes you more and more commitment phobic, as every time you get attached a little and it doesn’t work out – you go one step back. It never takes you forward.

3. Casual relationships have short shelf lives

Sometimes, I really want to go ahead and do a market research on the shelf life of the app ‘Tinder’. It has become the poster child app for casual sex, one night stands and casual relationships. And it is leaving behind many dissatisfied customers.

Could it so be – because these casual relationships have a short life span?

I have many misgivings about my understanding of sex as casual. You are choosing to be “naked” in front of someone and you are saying:

You don’t want to know about him,
You don’t want to be exclusive,
It’s okay since you are using protection (BTW, there are STDs that can get transferred even with protection)
You are willing to go near someone’s privates without knowing the level of hygiene they maintain, their physical habits, their health issues etc.
Call it ‘backward’ but makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER to me! I am old school and happy to be. I’m not saying ‘save yourself for marriage’. But I am requesting that you exercise caution, and get to know someone before taking this step. And if even after knowing someone it doesn’t work out, then you would know – you tried your level best not to get hurt, you took care of yourself!

See- majority of people is moving around wearing masks. You would be much better in your heart and soul when you take their masks off first before you take off their lingerie.

There is a PATTERN to all this.

Firstly, I have a bone to pick with bar pickups. I am working with the assumption that most bar encounters end in casual sex. So my problem is this mixture of alcohol and raging hormones. Why can’t people pick each other at book stores! At max it would lead to a ‘casual conversation’ and everyone will go home happy and emotionally unhurt. And even better – intellectually satisfied! I find that to be a more provocative deal).

Anyway, you picked someone at the bar. You went on and did all the stuff. You met again a couple of times. You laughed together, you got interested in each other lives. You slowly became friends with benefits. But as you dug deeper, you found their life wasn’t that interesting. Two scenarios here:

Even if it is interesting – the premise was casual. So this casual-ness will always be the common point in your relationship. You both caught a stray and used it for your pleasure. So what if things became serious after that! The reason you met is because you both thought casual sex is fine. If it was okay before, it is often assumed to be okay in the future too. One reason why so many divorces happen because of cheating spouses! For them, causal is okay.
You were casual from the beginning and you conveyed it. But when the other person started showing more interest, you started freaking out. You nodded and portrayed everything is fine but inwardly you cringed about ‘ye kya ho raha hai mere saath’! You started avoiding that person and it just starts going south from there. Soon it all becomes too complex. Painful too.

Everyone realizes it sooner than later that ‘Sex is not ethereal but ephemeral’. I know of friends who are into casual relationships (they think) but end up wanting more, that ‘wanting more’ not getting reciprocated and then jumping on to the next casual one. Is that working in the best of your interest? I am just looking out for you here.

And the pattern continues. Very few people have the courage to stop themselves from slipping into this rabbit hole of feel-good, short term, fun, casual relationships based on booty calls and casual sex. What sitcoms don’t show you is how it leads to loneliness, anxiety, depression and commitment issues as the aftermath of ‘being the cool dudes and chicks”.

casual_sex_doesn't_work

It is not that that those who indulge in casual sex have moral flaws. What you do with your time and body is your prerogative and no one’s business, as long as you don’t hurt anyone. But what about the hurt you cause yourself – by rabbiting down the depression hole, consistent emptiness, loneliness- the genesis of which is usually when your sewers meet some random else’s gutters.

From where I stand, ‘fuck’ and ‘focus’ don’t really go hand in hand because the mind doesn’t forget. Neither does the body. We get used to bodies like google saves your ‘search hits’ and preserves cookie data for the next time you are in such a situation.

That’s why, it often so happens that people keep going back to their douchebag hook-ups even after they have been treated unfairly and disrespectfully. They are so desperate, they can’t say no even if it kills their self-respect. Don’t feed those people who do not have the basic human tendency to treat you well even if it was just a casual relationship. Have the courage to say no to lower standards wherever possible.

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR GOOD


I always believe and say that. In life whatever happens, happens for good and it happens for a certain reason.

If you just observe your life carefully there is something or the other positive in it. You may not get the positive results or you may not see the positivity at that particular point of time. But later on, definitely you will say that it was good.

Always try to look on the positive side. I know it’s very easy to say but very difficult to follow .But at least, try it.

In your times of adversities just remember God.


If god is not giving what you want may be he has some better plans for you. Have patience.

God never does anything wrong with people. He always gives us what we deserve. If you deserve a medal he will give you but if don’t deserve it, he will not give you. He always knows what his child wants and gives you that. If he is giving you pain he wants to make you stronger. If he is giving you trouble, difficulties, he wants to make you more powerful. But he gives you, what you deserve.

`


Try to be happy in whichever situation you are.

Try to understand the wants of situation. May be God wants to make you so strong that you can face the adversities of life.

God may be trying to show the different world or a new world where you can grow and explore yourself. He knows, in which situation we can perform well, where we can adjust or where we can excel ourselves.

So, whatever happens, it always happens for good.

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Beautiful , awesomely beautiful story sent by a friend. Felt like SHARING with you...


Often we wonder, “What did I do to deserve this?” or “Why did God have to do this to me?” Here is a wonderful explanation!

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she’s failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, “Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.”

Here, have some cooking oil,” her Mother offers. “Yuck” says her daughter.
“How about a couple raw eggs?” “Gross, Mom!”

“Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?” “Mom, those are all yucky!”

To which the mother replies: “Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good!

`


We just have to trust Him and,most importantly TRUST your own FORCE. Your faith should not droop down & then eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Deep Emotional Story Must read it.


After his father's death, the Son decided to leave his mother at old age home and visited her on and off.
Once he received a call from old age home....Mom very serious ..... please come to visit.
Son went and saw mom very critical, on her dying bed.
He asked: Mom what can I do for you.
Mom replied... "Please install fans in the old age home, there are none.... Also put a fridge for betterment of food because many times I slept without food".
Son was surprised and asked: mom, while you were here you never complained, now you have few hours left and you are telling me all this, why?
Mom replied....."it's OK dear, I've managed with the heat, hunger & pain, but when your children will send you here, I am afraid you will not be able to manage

"Truth"
Truth no 1 :
nobody is real in this world except Mother..

Truth no. 2 :
a poor person has no friends..

Truth no. 3 :
people do not like good thoughts they like good looks..

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Truth no 4 :
people respect the money not the person..

Truth no 5 :
the person you love the most, will hurt you the most !

Truth no 6 :
"Truth is Simple, But, The Moment YOU try to Explain it...
It Becomes Difficult"

Truth no 7 :
"When you are happy you enjoy the music", but
"when you are sad, you understand the lyrics".

Truth no 8 :
IN LIFE Two things define you-
"Your patience" when you have nothing...
&
"Your attitude" when you have everything...
Rightly said "The internet shows us how small the world is...but a missing plane shows, how big our planet is.."..

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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SHARING an old classic. You For sure will love it :)


An engineer in a car manufacturing company designs a world class car. The owner is impressed with the outcome and praised him a lot.
While trying to bring out the car from the manufacturing area to the showroom, they realised that the car is 2 inches taller than the entrance.
The engineer felt bad that he didn't notice this one before creating the car.
The owner was amazed on how to take it outside of the manufacturing area.
The painter said that they can bring out the car and there will be a few scratches on top of the car which could be touched up later on.
The engineer said that they can break the entrance, take the car out, and later re-do it.
The owner was not convinced with any ideas and felt like it is a bad sign to break or scratch..
A Watchman was observing all the drama & slowly approached the owner. He wanted to give an idea if they had no problem..
They wondered what this guy would tell them that the experts could not give..

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The watchman said "The car is only a few inches taller than the entrance so, Simply release the air in the tyre, the height of the car will sink and can be easily taken out"...


Everyone clapped!!!
Don't analyse the problems only from an expert point of view alone..
There is always a layman's outlook that gives an alternate solution at a given point of time...
Life issues are also the same....
Release Some Air (Ego), and Adjust The Height (Attitude)..

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome It is a Story of a girl called Natalie


A few months ago Mel got in touch with me. She’s beautiful, fun, outgoing, creative, runs a successful business as an attorney etc etc. Guess who she’s pining for? A guy from the wrong side of the tracks who deals drugs, has spent time in prison and has gone back to his child’s mother. She’s known him since she was child and had worked hard to get out and achieve more than counterparts in her neighbourhood and yet her entire life has derailed in a matter of months because this loser doesn’t want to be with her.

Even she doesn’t understand why she wants to be with him as all he has going for him is being great in bed and very good looking. But the reason why she wants him isn’t because she actually wants and loves him but because she is seeking validation of her worthiness and self-worth because she doesn’t understand how and why he has come not to want her.

Katie is practically stalking a guy who has cheated on her, slapped her about, and told her he’s done with her.

`


Even though Val’s guy took off with thirty grand of her money and left her struggling with debts, her biggest concern is not how to get the money back or how to recover, but why he chose to be with the other, seemingly less attractive, less successful woman instead of her.

Countless women have shared stories with me of being involved with a guy who blew hot and cold, used them for sex, still had a wife or girlfriend, cheated on them, disappeared regularly, took their money, used them for a job, used them to gain access to their friends or to enhance their career, was disliked by all and sundry, or whatever the story is, and you know what?

Every, single, last woman was still expressing disbelief that somebody who had behaved without love, care, trust, and respect and had shown themselves to be a poor relationship partner, didn’t want them.

It’s almost like it doesn’t matter what shitty qualities these guys have – we want the validation.

I too remember not being that into an ex and yet I stuck out the relationship on and off for two years. Why? Because aside from my ego not being able to take it and wanting to ‘prove’ myself to him and not having enough self-respect, I also suffered with I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome also known more crudely as Why The Eff Doesn’t This Loser Want Me!

This is the behaviours and mindset centred around the bewildered disbelief you experience when someone that you secretly or even openly acknowledge as being a poor choice for a relationship or ‘beneath you’, doesn’t want you. You’ll struggle to accept that the relationship is over and/or that they’ve moved on with someone else and at it’s worst, the rejection will cause you to feel trapped in your feelings and have you reacting to it and doing things that at their best are embarrassing and at their worst, humiliating.

The confusion kicks in because in knowing that they’re not good enough for you and that you actually can and should do better, you wonder what is wrong with you that someone ‘like them’ doesn’t want you. You will also fall prey to I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome if like a lot of people with dodgy love habits, you have a habit of being involved with people who you know don’t quite stack up because you think it will be easier for them to love you and that you are less likely to lose them or be rejected by them. If I had a pound for every woman who has ever emailed or commented expressing abject horror at the fact that her habitually emotionally unavailable guy or assclown doesn’t want her, I’d be a very rich woman.

Why doesn’t he want me? I think the fact that he’s regarded as an asshole is enough of an indicator that it’s time for you to stop wanting him.

Who does he think he is rejecting me? You can’t assume a position of always being the one to reject or choosing people on the basis of them being less likely to reject you because you think you bring more to the table.

How did it go from him chasing a disinterested me to me pounding down his door trying to win him back? This in itself indicates that you’ve become more interested because they’re less interested which is a very unhealthy situation because your hook is rejection.

I know he’s no good for me but I can’t understand why he doesn’t love/want me? If you know he’s no good for you, why are you concerning yourself with why they don’t want you when you should be concerning yourself with getting the hell away from them? This is your ego getting out of whack as you’ve decided that you need to get ‘love’ from a ‘broken’ source and can’t cope with the fact that someone who has blatantly demonstrated their inability won’t revolutionise the wheel for you.

I’m a smart, educated, attractive, successful woman – why doesn’t he want to be with me? How could he choose her over me? Even if you do genuinely believe you have something more to offer, they don’t have to take it and what you think they want and need, is not the same as what they think they want and need – it’s not up to you.

Seeking validation is about getting confirmation that something is true and many people are caught in the trap of basing their lives around the cumbersome task of seeking validation instead of working on their own self-esteem and validating themselves within healthier partnerings.

Not interested in the person that wants them, they want the person, no matter how lacking in character they are, to confirm their worthiness by wanting them.

We really need to wise up, toughen up, smell the proverbial coffee and grow some backbone and self-respect.

If you are experiencing I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome, it’s time to have a little conversation with your ego because the fact that you want someone because you think it’s outrageous that they don’t want you and your ego can’t cope with it, is, aside from being outrageous, a signal that the relationship was doomed.

People who have I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome are reliant on feeling like they’re on a pedestal and in fact, have a bit of a superiority complex which in itself is disrespectful to anyone who they’re involved with.

For the person on the receiving end of I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome, they’re often wondering what the hell you see in them and it’s their own ego that had them chasing you or wanting to be with you in the first place. They might have thought they didn’t stand a cats hope in hell of being with you but from the moment you gave them the time of day, it became a black mark against you and they recognised that in you wanting to be with them, there was very likely something wrong with you.

As I said to Mel, don’t you think your drug dealing ex was wondering what why a woman who’d busted her proverbial nuts to overcome her upbringing and become an attorney, was doing with him? I actually said to her: What the hell are you doing with this guy?

If any doubt, write down everything about this guy on a piece of paper, and then ask yourself why the hell your ego is struggling to process why they don’t want you and why you’re not racing to distance yourself from them.

If these people have any sense, they shouldn’t want you and while you may not thank me or them now, they’re actually doing you a massive favour and setting you free, hopefully to do better by yourself.

For some of you, part of the whole I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome is about being used to getting what you want and being caught short when someone doesn’t dance to your beat. The danger is that when you’re used to getting what you want, not only will your ego struggle with the rejection, but you may also find that you coast into relationships because you don’t really ever have to try. What you may see if you look back over your relationships is that some of them were half-hearted.

For me, I got over myself and realised that soothing my ego at the expense of my self-esteem was not something that was worth throwing my life away on. I had to cut my losses because it was pretty galling when I realised that I had stayed in a relationship with someone who I hadn’t actually been attracted to, who I hadn’t really actually liked, and who even after all that time I still couldn’t really come up with any overriding reasons to stay, and all this because my ego couldn’t cope with the fact that they didn’t want me.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Because we don’t want to get love from someone with the capabilities to treat us with love, care, trust, and respect – we want to get it from someone who feeds into our beliefs and mirrors our pattern and so when someone doesn’t want us, it confirms the negative stuff that we openly and quietly think about ourselves. And I should stress – by capability, it’s not about you thinking they can love you because you think they loved someone else or you experienced it briefly. It’s consistently having the ability to love you over a sustained period of time.

Never demand that someone love you because you have a sense of entitlement to their love.

You are not entitled to their love and you’re certainly not more entitled to it because they’re a ‘loser’ and you’re not, so surely they should want you.

If you continue to pursue them instead of working your way through the loss and processing the ‘rejection’, you will alienate them because you’ll be like a disgruntled customer who just won’t take no for an answer and that is wholly unattractive and will cause you to lose your dignity and self-respect even if you don’t realise it initially.

Make no mistake – if you become obsessed with the questions that your ego raises, you will watch everything in your life take a battering. I’ve seen people lose their family, friends, health, career, money and more because they’re too busy struggling with their ego.

From the moment someone doesn’t want you, it’s time for you to start working on not wanting them and accepting that it’s over, whether it’s the relationship or the dream. If you habitually want people that don’t want you, you need to examine your own genuine capacity for a relationship, as you are hiding behind the illusions of being hijacked by your imagination and you’re only getting interested when you know they can’t/won’t reciprocate which is of course, a sign of your own emotional unavailability.

The fact that someone doesn’t want you, is a red flag and makes you fundamentally incompatible which means it’s time to opt out, process the loss, and accept. If you focus on doing this, your ego will catch up with the rest of you. If you focus on obsessing about them not wanting you, the sense of rejection will just increase. You have to decide where you want to put your energies.

Your thoughts?

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Nice Story


“Once when the Buddha was teaching a group of people, he found himself on the receiving end of a fierce outburst of abuse from a bystander, who was very angry for some reason.

The Buddha listened patiently while the stranger vented his rage, and then the Buddha said to the group and to the stranger, “If someone gives you a gift and you choose to decline it, tell me, who would then own the gift? The giver or you who refuses to accept the gift?”

“The giver,” said the group after a little thought. “Any fool can see that!” added the angry stranger.

“Then it follows, does it not,” said the Buddha, “Whenever a person tries to abuse us, or to unload their anger / vehemence / criticism on us, we can each choose to decline or to accept the critique. If we believe it will help us, we can make a choice. But it is always our choice – who owns and keeps the bad feelings!”

Though this story is on how to deal with someone else’s wrongful anger, misdirected at you, I believe it is equally relevant when it comes to dealing with criticism. You can choose what to keep and what not to keep.

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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What is irrational and impossible behavior?


Let me share with you a story.

A female friend, tired of her irrational husband, shared this with me.

“The husband was a little low on his EQ. He couldn’t handle even a little disregard for him that often stemmed out of my exhaustion or irritation and had nothing to do with him. Once I just asked him to leave me alone for a while in the room. I was trying to avoid a fight. He just went mad when I asked him to leave. He said – why don’t I leave you forever then? Let me just jump from the balcony and free you forever. And he actually tried to jump.”

I am sure you have been in similar situations. People just going bat shit crazy because they are unable to deal with a situation that was otherwise pretty normal. But then, normal is such a relative term.

There is another story I heard about a guy who handled an irrational lady on a plane like a pro. Through this story, I am going to decode for you – the process of dealing with irrational people.

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This guy was sitting beside a lady on a flight. They had a good conversation, smooth and fun. The lady seemed alright. But when the flight was taxing, she started becoming agitated and jumpy. As people got up and formed a queue to get down the plane, she became extremely afraid and sweaty. Upon asking if she was fine, she said she was feeling claustrophobic and had to get down right NOW.

The aisle was full of people. They were at the end. No way she could have gotten down immediately. And her condition was worsening. He tried to calm her down by pointing out that the line would move soon and she will be getting down. But she just became more irrational – “I would DIE if I don’t get down now.” He could see a scream building up in her. That would have freaked people out.

He told her that if she really believed she had to get off right now, she can’t panic. She would have to calmly tap on people’s shoulders, tell them it’s a medical emergency and try to get down. And she did.

So what does this tell you about irrational behavior?

When someone is being irrational, it so happens that they are most likely not thinking straight. They wouldn’t normally behave in such foolish manner in such a situation but right now, something is triggering this extreme response. The overreaction sets in an extreme need to get a need fulfilled right away. In the husband’s case, he probably took his wife’s insult as a hit on his self-respect. And his desire to prove that he was extremely important became his primal need.

Angry outbursts, unreasonable demands, hurtful words or behaviour – are all their inability to control their response to a situation. And they start believing that if they can’t flee from the situation, they need to FIGHT and WIN.

How do you fight a person who wants to win at any cost and against all logic! Here’s decoding the ways of dealing with irrational people, especially irrational spouses, family members, impossible bosses and difficult boyfriends / girlfriends –

You have a CHOICE

In life always pick your battles carefully. Not every war is yours to fight. Sometimes you can just walk away. It’s the same with your irrational family members / colleagues. You have a choice. Can you deal with later? Or, can you not deal with it at all?

The guy on the plane chose to address this because he felt it was doable for him, and the lady looked like she would snap if help didn’t come to her soon. Depends on the magnitude of the problem. My friend could not have let her husband jump. She had to step in!

So you decide. Do you think it is really irrational behaviour and could harm the person if unchecked, or is the person just being a drama queen? Do you think there is nothing else you can do for the person? Their irrationality is not your responsibility and you need not feel guilty if you ultimately decide to give up on them.

Don’t take it PERSONALLY

Irrational people will say a lot of hurtful stuff; especially when they are in one of their rages. They are hurting and they want to lessen their pain by hurling it on anyone in the vicinity. They think it will help them deal with it.

They start believing that the only way they can survive the situation is – by fighting you. Not everyone has the ability to rationalize their behaviour and calm themselves down without intervention.

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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TIME & KARMA


When a bird is alive... it eats ants.

When the bird has died... ants eat it.

One tree can be made into a million matchsticks... but only one match is needed to burn a million trees!

Circumstances can change at any time... Don't devalue or hurt anyone in this life...

You may be powerful today but time is more powerful than you!

So be good and do good in this ONE LIFE.

photo
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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Why is the international media unfair to India? - by Karolina Goswami A Polish woman


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxOoJSH49VI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fan1SpsYzCY

It is my humble request to all the people here to watch these two videos If you want to anything in detail about India

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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9 Things You’ll Regret in 10 Years


https://brightside.me/wonder-curiosities/9-things-youll-regret-in-10-years-354660/?utm_source=fb_rb6106673add1&utm_campaign=3cbf848b669a&utm_medium=cpm

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Michael Phelps inspiring story one of my favorite Inspirational story


If you do not know Michael Phelps and his inspiring tale of beating odds, you really need to brush up your knowledge.

He is an American swimmer, a decorated sportsperson who holds the record for the highest number of gold medals won in Olympics (2 . I did not and could not get into counting his actual medal tally. A gifted swimmer who trained equally hard to sustain his gifts, Michael is an epitome of the word sportsmanship.

It is easy to become famous, when you think of how hard it is to sustain that fame. He rose to fame and he fell too. Phelps was arrested for DUI at the age of 19. Despite his accolades and success, he was plagued by substance abuse and depression. Things went downhill as he slipped deeper into his rock bottom. A fall from that height is hard to survive. Things were so bad at one point that Phelps even contemplated suicide. It was his friend Ray Lewis who held his hand at this crucial stage and pulled him up from this mess.

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He helped him with rehab and getting his life back. Phelps had been banned from all competitions because of his repeated public offences. But with help from Ray and family, he got back on his feet. He himself says, he would have never believed this day would come. He thought he was done. Finished!

Michael’s story is inspiring on many levels. It is not only quite similar to what many youngsters go through as they lose themselves in the spiral of drug abuse or anything extreme, but also a reminder of downfalls that can come at any stage in life. You could fail in the beginning, in the middle, in the end. Anywhere. But as long as you find the strength and support of few great friends and family, a comeback isn’t impossible.

Craftsmanship comes with practice. And lots of practice. Look at Lasith Malinga. He used to bowl 200 yorkers everyday(& for years) to master the craft of that delivery. Lionel Messi said he worked day in and day out for 17 years to become an overnight legend. That’s how winners are made. They rise, they fall, and they get up again. None of the overnight success stories last long. It is the slow endurance, the everyday kill and the solid foundation of a lifelong discipline that makes winners. The recent example is- Jaspreet Bumrah (The Yorker man of India right now). He practices bowling Yorkers some 3 hours a day to ensure that he gets them right in the final overs. And he gets them right too.

In this game of endurance, both mental and physical, these sports icons are examples of the limitlessness of the human mind should one wish to take notice. If they can do it, so can you.

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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The Lion who thought he was a Sheep This is one of my favourite stories.


A lioness, huge with an unborn baby lion in her body, was growing weak from lack of food. Roaring with sadness and hunger, and heavy with the baby lion, the lioness fell asleep at the edge of the forest near a pasture. She woke up to the sounds of a flock of sheep grazing nearby.

Forgetting the heavy baby lion in her body, and impelled by the madness of hunger, the lioness pounced on one of the young lambs and took it into the depths of the forest. The lioness did not realize that during the exertion of her mad leap at the lamb she had given birth to the baby lion.

The flock of sheep were so paralyzed with fear by the attack of the lioness that they couldn’t run away. When the lioness had departed and the panic was over, to their great astonishment, they discovered the helpless baby lion crooning in their midst. One of the mother sheep took pity on the baby lion and adopted it as her own.

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The young lion grew up amidst the flock of sheep behaving exactly like a sheep. The sheep-lion bleated instead of roaring and ate grass instead of meat. This vegetarian lion acted exactly like a weak, meek lamb.

One day, another lion strolled out of the nearby forest onto the green pasture, and to his great delight beheld this flock of sheep. Thrilled with joy and whipped by hunger, the great lion pursued the fleeing flock of sheep, when, with amazement, he saw a huge lion, with tail high up in the air, fleeing at top speed ahead of the sheep. Ignoring his hunger, he raced hard and pounced upon the escaping lion. The sheep-lion fainted with fear. The big lion was puzzled more than ever, and slapped the sheep-lion out of his swoon. In a deep voice he rebuked, “What’s the matter with you?! Why do you, my brother, flee from me?”

The sheep-lion closed his eyes and bleated out in sheep language, “Please let me go. Don’t kill me. I’m just a sheep brought up with yonder flock.” He caught the sheep-lion by the mane with his mighty jaws and dragged him toward a lake at the end of the pasture. When the big lion reached the shore of the lake, he pushed the sheep-lion’s head so that it was reflected in the water.

The big lion gave the sheep-lion a terrible shake. The sheep-lion opened his eyes, and was astonished to find that the reflection of his head was not, as he expected, a sheep’s head but a lion’s head, like that of the lion who was shaking him with his paw. Then the big lion said, “Look at my face and your face reflected in the water. They are the same. My face roars. Now! You must roar instead of bleating!”

The sheep-lion, convinced, tried to roar, but could only produce bleat-mingled roars. As the older lion continued to exhort him with slapping paws, the sheep-lion at last succeeded in roaring. Then both lions bounded across the pasture, entered the forest, and returned to the den of lions.

The story is a great metaphor for all us who bleat with fear and spend their entire lives in fears- fears of failure, fears of losing a relationship, fears of virtually anything. You could either live in fear or live with sheer confidence. Either way, you will live but with massive difference in your quality of life. You can live crouched in insecurities or you can live with dazzling self confidence that can move mountains. But don’t be in a mask worrying about your future. Don’t be a lion with a sheep’s soul. That’s a waste for both. Not realizing your full potential is like the worst thing you can do to your life (& regret when you get old)! Why would you choose such a life for yourself? Go and express yourself fully. Be a Tiger. Go Roar !

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Lovely, lovelier story sent by a friend . SHARING !


One day a professor entered the classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They waited anxiously at their desks for the test to begin. The professor handed out the question paper, with the text facing down as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked his students to turn the page and begin. To everyone's surprise, there were no questions....just a black dot in the center of the page. The professor seeing the expression on everyone's face, told them the following:
"I want you to write what you see there."
The students confused, got started on the inexplicable task.
At the end of the class, the professor took all the answer papers and started reading each one of them aloud in front of all the students. All of them with no exceptions, described the black dot, trying to explain its position in the middle of the sheet, etc. etc. etc. After all had been read, the classroom silent, the professor began to explain:

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"I am not going to grade on you this, I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot - and the same happens in our lives. We have a white paper to observe and enjoy, but we always focus on the dark spots. Our life is a gift given to us by God, with love and care, and we always have reasons to celebrate - nature renewing itself everyday, our friends around us, the job that provides our livelihood, the miracles we see everyday.......


However we insist on focusing only on the dark spots - the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, the disappointment with a friend etc etc
The dark spots are very small compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds.

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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What’s age got to do with love?


For Kewal and Jaya, getting married was a decision that was fraught with roadblocks. Their families opposed the relationship, and all and sundry had something negative to say. 'It will not work', 'This is not normal', 'It will create problems in your family life'... the remarks were varied. And the reason? The age gap between them. Jaya was four years older than Kewal. However, the two fought all opposition and got married in court. If you're wondering all the ominous predictions from people came true, well, the couple recently celebrated their eighth anniversary and their relationship has only grown stronger over the years. "The key to success of our relationship is mutual respect, understanding and making efforts towards a better future. We do have our share of arguments, but at the end of the day, we sit down and discuss things like adults. We have rarely let the age factor trigger any fights between us," said Kewal.

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But are Kewal and Jaya an exception? A recent study revealed that greater the age gap, greater is the risk of a break-up. According to research, those with a five-year age gap are more likely to split than an equal-age couple, while the chances double when there is a bigger age gap. Couples with an age gap of just one year were the least likely to split.


But does that stand true for India, where arranged marriages have traditionally focussed on a much bigger age difference between the husband and wife, with the husband being older to the wife? And even when the difference is much more than a year, is it necessary for the wife to be younger for the relationship to be successful? We spoke to experts to find out if age really makes a difference in a relationship.
The focus on age is reducing
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Today, the younger generation is showing a steady shift in attitude and markers, that used to be all-important, like religion, caste and age. Says Forum Lalka, clinical psychiatrist, "In the Indian context, we still adhere to the remnants of traditions towards an alliance between an older man and younger woman, but with changing times, Indian couples are now looking at the bigger picture. The age factor is becoming more and more redundant by the day." Rajiv Anand, a marriage counsellor, agrees. "Many a times, people working in the same office get emotionally and physically involved and ignore the age gap to get married, even if the wife is older than the husband," he adds.
Is there an optimum age gap?
According to Anand, couples should go the traditional way. "To ensure smooth functioning of a marriage, the husband should be three to four years older or at least one year older than his wife. Men feel that they are the uncrowned kings in the kingdom of marriage while educated and well earning girls find it hard to adjust to this fact. So, some women select a man who is of the same age or younger than them. However, this might result in rough patches as soon as the honeymoon phase is over, as the man will not want to be dictated. This will eventually lead to friction, resistance and challenges," he opines. However, Lalka feels that the age factor is only secondary. "Each marriage is a tailor-made relationship and there cannot be an optimum age gap that will suit every couple. As long as two people share an understanding, are at similar wavelengths, and deal with issues that crop up in a relationship in a mature manner, age can never threaten their bond. People can be happy, in spite of the wife being older to the husband, as long as they strive towards a common goal — a content married life."
How to tackle it?
The simple solution, says Lalka, is to keep in mind that age is just a number. The old adage, she says, is as true as you want it to be. "With more and more Indian women being financially independent, and not being bogged down by the biological clock, we see a lot of couples with older wives and younger husbands. My advice to them would be to value their partnership rather than getting influenced by what society says. They shouldn't let insecurities seep in," she concludes.
Anand says, "It depends on you and what factors you allow to affect your relationship. Your age can just be a number, if you treat it that way and don't let anything come between the two of you. Both husband and wife are equal in a relationship and there shouldn't be any sense of superiority or one-upmanship."

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Read this Story "Anecdotes From The Life Of Sudha Murty Which Proves She Is An Epitome Of Simplicity"


http://www.theindianfeed.in/sudha-murty/

Sudha Murty the chairperson of Infosys Foundation is also a philanthropist and writer in Kannada and English.She has founded several orphanages, participated in rural development efforts, supported the movement to provide all Karnataka government schools with computer and library facilities.However, even after being one of the richest women in the country money has never got over her head and her simple lifestyle and social works are excellent examples of this.

For the riches, the best place to flaunt their money is clothing.But not for the Infosys Foundation chairperson.One of India’s richest women, Sudha Murty in an interview with PTI revealed that the last saree she bought was 21 years ago, before she went to Kashi.

When asked about the reason she gracefully reveals, “I was in Kashi to take the holy dip, and when you go to Kashi you have to give up something that you enjoy the most. I gave up shopping, particularly sarees, from thereon. I now only buy the essential items,” Murthy told PTI. I have to say I feel very happy and free,” she added.

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However, she loves reading and doesn’t mind spending money on books.The Murty couple loves reading, and have a massive collection of over 20,000 books arranged in two libraries. Sudha is strictly against the idea of lending books to someone and tells, “I tell my husband, ‘how could writers survive if everybody started borrowing their books?’ We, the authors, want people to buy books. “That is the only way we can earn — from our royalty”. Sudha has established over 60,000 libraries in Karnataka alone through the Infosys Foundation.

In her latest book, Three Thousand stitches she talks about the problems that she faced during her engineering days.”I cried after writing that story. I don’t know how I could do that at that point in life. But the fact that I did not have a toilet for four years in the college motivated me to build 13,000 toilets in the state,” Sudha told to TIE.

About starting the Infosys, Sudha recalls how she initially funded the company with her savings of Rs 10,000. She gave her husband three years to fulfill his dream. “At the time, I told him to bring bread on the table in those three years. And if he could buy a two-wheeler and a two-bed room house, that would be the ultimate for me,” she said to PTI. And the world knows what was the result. According to Forbes, Narayana Murthy’s net worth at present amounts to USD 1.92 billion.

Sudha has made 2,300 houses in flood affected areas for helping earthquake victims in Gujarat.She is helping out rural areas by building 10,000 public toilets and several hundred toilets in the city of Bangalore. Murty’s social work covers the healthcare, education, empowerment of women, public hygiene, art and culture, and poverty alleviation at the grassroots level.

What could be more inspiring than a woman having so much wealth, living life with such simplicity and contributing to the welfare of the society to such an extent? Truly an inspiration!

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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The Ultimate Guide To Dealing With Anger Issues


let me share with you a story:

A saint and his disciples were visiting the Ganges river, where they found a group of family members on the banks shouting in anger at each other. Turning to his disciples, the saint smiled and asked, ‘Why do people in anger shout at each other?’

His disciples thought for a while. One of them finally said, ‘Because when we lose our calm, we shout.’

‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you?’ countered the saint. ‘You can just as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.’ His disciples thought about it some more, but could not come up with a satisfactory answer. Finally the saint explained,

‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other, in order to cover that great distance.

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But what happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but instead talk very softly because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either non-existent or very small. And when they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only need to look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.

So when you argue, do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

In this small little story, lies the crux of dealing with anger issues.

If we were to define anger in better words, we could say it is:

1. A game of dominance where defiance has to be dealt with aggression. You need to mark your territory with raised voices and pointed fingers.
2. An act of control where you establish your LOC because Believe it or not, we are all control freaks.
3. A veil that shrouds the best of minds and distances the closest of hearts.

Have you ever noticed how when we are angry we generally want to kill the same person we would normally die without?

Being Human
A cooler, much more human and grown up way is – to develop this sheer quality of thinking about what you can say in those moments. Flinging back mud is very easy. Perhaps the easiest. But talking logic and making sense in those moments of distress is the hallmark of a human being who is exercising his human qualities.

It is mediocre to lose your calm because a) everyone does it. And b) being calm is a superior and much more impactful way of dealing with situations that are not in our stride. There might be catharsis in anger but it’s fire over fire. There is grace in that zen like patience and quietness; and that’s the best fire extinguisher you can possess.

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Ali Ihsan, 38 y.o.

Turkey

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Select friends well


One day an elephant wandered into a forest in search of friends. He saw a monkey on a tree. “Will you be my friend?” asked the elephant.

Replied the monkey, “You are too big. You can not swing from trees like me.” Next, the elephant met a rabbit. He asked him to be his friends.

But the rabbit said, “You are too big to play in my burrow!” Then the elephant met a frog. “Will you be my friend? He asked.

“How can I?” asked the frog. “You are too big to leap about like me.” The elephant was upset.

He met a fox next. “Will you be my friend?” he asked the fox.

The fox said, “Sorry, sir, you are too big.” The next day, the elephant saw all the animals in the forest running for their lives.

The elephant asked them what the matter was. The bear replied, “There is a tiger in the forest. He’s trying to gobble us all up!” The animals all ran away to hide. The elephant wondered what he could do to save everyone in the forest.

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Meanwhile, the tiger kept eating up whoever he could find. The elephant walked up to the tiger and said, “Please, Mr. Tiger, do not eat up these poor animals.” “Mind your own business!” growled the tiger.

The elephant has a no choice but to give the tiger a hefty kick. The frightened tiger ran for his life. The elephant ambled back into the forest to announce the good news to everyone.

All the animals thanked the elephant. They said, “You are just the right size to be our friend.”

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Be happy always


Look at & appreciate all you have and all you've done as you move forward.
Many people are 'waiting' to be happy and relax and enjoy life.
''I'll be happy once this project's over, when the kitchen's painted, when this floor is fixed, when the kids are at school, when my health improves, when my debts are paid, when i get a new car''
BE HAPPY NOW! Now is the only time that exists.... True happiness is enjoying the JOURNEY, not just the destination!
Look around you at all the beautiful people, animals, things, in your life...be grateful... be happy now, don't wait.
Have an amazing weekend friends!

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Rich, 46 y.o.

Canada

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Tips for men on here - one veterans insights


Guys,

 

I have been going to Ukraine (Kiev) for about three years (from Canada) and have had three very serious relationships and probable been on about 30 dates (not one bad one). Here are some tips:

 

1. Stick to women in main ports like Kiev or Moscow (less travelling and costs). Favor Ukraine over Russia as you need no visa. Kiev is an amazing city and the women are beautiful and friendly.

2. NEVER EVER send money - EVER. If they ask for it, they are scamming. If they say they can get cheaper flights if they pay, they are scamming. If they won't video chat, they are scamming (give them some time of course). If they have many sad stories, drop them. Even if they are not scamming they might just be negative.

3. It is fine to go much younger, but be prepared for a less mature woman. This is obvious, but beauty doesn't last long trust me. I dated a 25 yr old for 3 months (I am 46) and though a lot of fun, at times it was very frustrating, same with one 29 yr old.  There are many beautiful older women and trust me guys Ukrainian women know how to treat their men.

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4. Be prepared for cultural differences - in thought and action. Some are harmless and some will drive you nuts hahah.

5. If you do start travelling there, pick one airline and sign up for points. I am now skypriority with KLM and get upgraded to business all the time.

6. Don't be cheap.

7. Buy them small gifts and flowers. Flowers is not to say sorry in Ukraine, it is for love. Men give flowers all the time and if you don't she will wonder what she did wrong.

8. Don't drink too much. They will notice and since this is a cultural issue in Slavic countries she will drop you. Plus you might do something done.

9. Treat them with respect and like ladies. Be a gentleman. They owe you NOTHING for going there, certainly not sex. They are not "easy", they are ladies and generally well brought up and educated. You to earn their trust and their affections. Again, no matter what you spent to be there (that was your choice) they owe you NOTHING.

10. Red flags. If you see three things that bother or worry you early on, move on (arguing alot would be one, mean to strangers, etc..). You will regret it if you don't (unfortuantely - trust me on this one).

 

Good luck and remember be a gentleman - these women do not deserve to be treated poorly just because they are from a poorer country.

 

Rich

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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DO YOU HATE SOMEONE? A Nice story with a good moral. Please go through.


A kindergarten teacher decided to let her class play a game.
The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes.
Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates.
So the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.
So when the day came, each child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated.
Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.
Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended…
The teacher asked: “How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?”. The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

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Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game.


The teacher said: “This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go.If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???”
Moral of the story:
Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry sins for a lifetime.
Forgiving others is the best attitude to have !!  

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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HEART TOUCHING STORY!


HEART TOUCHING STORY!
Ex Indian President Dr. Abdul Kalam Says:
"When I was a kid, my Mom cooked food for us.
One night in particular when she had made dinner after a long hard day's work, Mom placed a plate of 'Vegetables' and extremely burnt bread in front of my Dad.
I was waiting to see if anyone noticed the burnt bread. But Dad just ate his bread and asked me how was my day at school.
I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember I heard Mother apologizing to Dad for the burnt Bread.
And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burnt Bread."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy, good night & I asked him if he really liked his bread burnt. He wrapped me in his arms & said:
"Your mother put in a long hard day at work today and she was really tired. And besides... A burnt bread never hurts anyone but HARSH WORDS DO!"

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Mark, 58 y.o.

United States

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Cost of Ukrainian Passport


In Ukraine people have local passport used as main ID inside the country and if they need to travel abroad they need to get International Passport. It can be with a chip with biometric data about the person or without a chip. The cost of the passport is $45 if you want to make it fast and it will be ready in 7 working days. You can also get it cheaper for $35, the passport will be ready in 20 days. International passports are issued by Migration Service of Ukraine that has offices in all cities around Ukraine. The international passport is valid for 10 years and you can get it starting from the age of 16.

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Felt like SHARING the conversation don't take it personally please


In 9 out of the 10 cases we identified the prime reason to be 
'Lack of depth in the relationship between the Husband & Wife' (for whatever reasons)

They are NOT ONE but are two forces operating in two different directions (inspite of good intentions).

Blame games, Egos & puerile expectations from each other (lack of maturity),
Spending huge energies & time on relatives & people from outside (than inside families)
Lack of creativity in creating good memories with their kids (& with each other),
Busyness in Money chases / IMAGE growth (Random usually).
or any else - e.g. greater love for Mobile phones & TVs when even at home.
We inferred that besides LUCK; the other primary FACTOR for huge family success & happiness between 30 & 60 yrs is - 'The Husband & The Wife NEED TO BE ONE'. When they are ONE - then two forces (instead of one) solve things together leading to a higher probability of a big bang.

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Even MAINTENANCE MODE between the husband & wife is not real PROGRESS. It gets boring & mediocre usually.

'DEPTH' is the answer & the MAIN keyword. How creative you are to shed aside egos & create DEPTH?

Parenting is a heroic job. And the best gift that super heroes give to their kids is 'the gift of loving their mother/ father'  

This is not a psycho-social study or any research but just a very strong gut check (w.r.t. Indian conditions). Felt like SHARING the conversation with you  

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Motivation


Wonderful , fabulous message sent by a friend. Felt like sharing  Sometimes You are unsatisfied with Your Life, while many people in this world are Dreaming of Living Your Life..
A Child on a Farm sees a Plane fly overhead & Dreams of Flying, but a Pilot on the Plane sees the Farmhouse & Dreams of Returning Home.
That's Life!! Enjoy Yours
If wealth is the secret to happiness, then the rich should be dancing on the streets.
But only poor kids do that.
If power ensures security, then officials should walk unguarded.
But those who live simply, sleep soundly.
If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships, then celebrities should have the best marriages.
Live simply.
Walk humbly..and
Love genuinely..!
All good will come back to you....

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Eric, 69 y.o.

Netherlands

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Online Dating - my search


Poem for the ladies

I feel the cool fresh air
It is striking on my face
It comes from everywhere
And has no hiding place

It gives me energy
To try to think really clear
What a beautiful world this would be
If we all were so sincere

We have no guarantee
What future we will get
All that we can be
Lies in our passed and present life-thread

I am on this site
To seek my future wife
It feels like an unknown flight
Through the secrets of our life

How long can I go on ?
In this life`s episode
Someday , will I be the ONE
To WIN YOUR HEART , with the UNLOCK CODE ???

Eric - (C) - copyright July 2013

Ladies do not worry ...
This poem will not lock any files on your computer ...
And I will not ask for your heart as a ransom ...

Or .........

I can hear this song in the distance -
- the captain of her heart by Double -

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Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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Stay Single Until You Meet A Girl Like This


Stay single until you meet the girl whose love heals you, changes you and makes you better.

The girl you look at with a confidence you’ve never known before.

The girl you’d proudly introduce your parents to.

Stay single until you meet the girl who makes you act fast because you can’t stand the thought of her being with anyone else.

The type of girl you can’t imagine hurting or disappointing.

Stay single until you meet the type of girl who believes in you and your dreams and is in your corner entirely.
The one who builds you up constantly and pushes you to be more and do more.

The one who is driven and motivates you to do more.

The one who forces you to take chances in your life.

But the greatest of all is taking a chance on her.

Stay single until you meet the girl who scares you a little.

The one who makes you feel ways you haven’t before.

The one you think about at 2 Am as you wonder, “what is happening to me?”

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Stay single until you meet the girl whose face you see when you listen to certain songs, that used to not mean much to you.

The one who makes you smile and laugh in ways you forget.

The one who makes you forget about pain from the past.

Stay single until you meet the girl who is genuine and has a heart of gold.

The one who beats to her own drum and is authentic.

The one whose touch heals you.

Whose kiss makes you want more.

Whose presence makes you enjoy every moment.

The one who makes you want to be a better man.

Stay single until you meet the girl you have to try a little harder to impress because everything in the past you’ve done with others won’t work.
The one who makes you want to take it slow in a generation that tells us to rush into the things.

The girl who makes you nervous before a first date.

The one who won’t take you for granted and will always says thank you.

Stay single until you meet the girl who meets you half way.
The one who accepts your shortcomings and flaws.

Stay single until you meet the girl you can look at and see a good mother you can raise a family with.

The one you want to build a life with.

The one who can hold her own and doesn’t need you but chooses you.

Stay single until you meet the girl who would do anything for you.

The one who loves you deeply and isn’t afraid of it.

Stay single until you meet the girl you want to spoil.

The one you want to spend Sunday mornings with.

The one you can look at sleeping and think she’s the most beautiful girl in the world.

Stay single until you find a girl who still gives you butterflies when she walks in a room, as you say to everyone around you, “that’s her.”

The one you look at and think, “finally.”

Until then stay single.

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25 LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP DATE IDEAS AND ACTIVITIES


Here is a list of date ideas and activities you can do with your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/significant other in your long distance relationship.

1) Watch movies or TV shows simultaneously together

Rent the same movie and watch it together or you can access a streaming movie online. Communicate by text or webcam while you’re watching the movie.

2) Play 20 Questions

In a long distance relationship, most of your interactions is confined to verbal communication. So make the most of it. Come up with 20 meaningful or silly or insightful questions for you to ask your boyfriend/girlfriend to get to know them better.

3) Send your boyfriend/girlfriend flowers

Call a local or national florist. If you can’t afford them, you can always send a digital bouquet or include a few fake petals in your next letter or care package.

4) Share an online drive

Share a online file hosting service like DropBox or ICloud. This will not only save your phone bill but it’s a great way to share photos or love letters with each other

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5) Send your scent

Exchange your perfumes or colognes so the other person can remember what you smell like

6) Read a book

Pick out a book with a subject you both like. Read at your own leisure and talk about it. It’s your very own private book club.

7) Send “Open When” letters

Write some encouraging notes for when the other may be feeling sad or lonely or stressed. This is the perfect pick-me-up when you guys aren’t together.

  Skype date

That’s what webcams, tablets, and smartphones are for.

9) Share a journal

Go back and forth and write different entries. Read what the other one wrote and either respond or expand to it. One day, this journal will make for amazing memories.

10) Send care packages

It’s a great way to spoil your loved ones with goodies. Personal tip: use the flat rate boxes from the post office to help save money.

11) Make a mixtape

There’s multiple ways to do this. Send them your youtube playlists of songs or download songs to a usb or mp3 player for them.

12) Play a game

Something like “Words with Friends” or other fun apps. The best part is it’s self-paced so you can guys can plan when you have time (which helps when you’re in different time zones)

RELATED: 60 LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP QUOTES TO REMEMBER

13) Share recipes

Swap recipes with one another. They know what it’s supposed to taste like but you don’t. Test out the recipes and report back of what you thought. It’s as if you guys are “cooking” together.

14) Create a digital photo album together

A lot of sites at digital photo albums for you to click and drop photos into. Work on one together, and then order a hardcopy once it’s complete.

15) Get Healthy

A healthy couple is a happy couple. Apps like “my fitness pal” allows you to motivate and encourage others on their fitness and health goals. Choose a goal and then encourage your partner to meet theirs.

16) Play on Pinterest

Set up a joint Pinterest account and create boards like “future house”, “vacations”, “wedding ideas”. You can visualize what the other person’s dreams are for your relationship.

17) Get crafty

Both of you decide on some homemade to make and give to one another. It could be food or crafts or woodwork, anything. It’ll mean more since you know they made it with their own hands.

1  Watch YouTube & Vimeo together in sync!

You can use Sync-Video to u create a chat room in which you can watch YouTube or Vimeo videos with other people. Make a room private however, and use it for just you guys.

19) Listen to the news or music together

With online streaming, you guys can listen to the same station at the same time.

RELATED: 10 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS

20) Be “Naughty”

Just remember, the internet is forever.

21) Learn something

Take a free online class together and improve your skill in practically any subject nowadays. Another language? Crafting? Cooking?

22) GoPro the exciting and outrageous stuff

I had a friend who wore a GoPro when she went parasailing over the ocean. She shared the video with her long distance boyfriend and he thought it was awesome.

23) Add Color

They make coloring books for adults. You can color ½ a page or the whole pages and send it back and forth until it’s complete.

24) Meet the Family

Introduce your significant other to family members, friends, or pets. It may not be formal but your significant other should get to know the other important people in your life.

25) Send Long Distance Relationship Gifts

These are some cute gifts that I’ve found and will certainly make you significant other smile.

Remember this Every relationship requires quality communication, so you can understand why your partner or their family do certain things, and vice versa.Falling in love with someone from another culture or country has an extra dose of excitement because not only are you discovering another human, you’re discovering a whole new way of life. So Communicate with a person on live chat by through Skype is very Important, so that you can trust that person and go and meet that person personally as soon as possible.

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avatar

Danny, 32 y.o.

India

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motivation


You cannot make everyone happy. No matter what you do - some people have that permanent fault finding microscope embedded right into their DNA !!
Trust me - you need not worry about them. Work for your believers. Even if you truly add value to one life around you - it is mission accomplished !!

avatar

Danny, 32 y.o.

India

All the user's posts

motivation


The mind is always working. We have no control over this. But we do have control over how it works. Mind is the creator. We do not realize the subtlety of it.
DO NOT FEED a bad habit with thoughts about it. Think about the opposite good habit. Whatever you focus on, you will get more of If you aren’t happy about conditions in your life, examine your thoughts. You are probably focusing on the negative and that's why you are getting more of it.
It is sinful, to think small and negative. Because you LEAD yourself directly into that !!

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