Men & women
Matt
Conversing off the dating site
Hello again, and before I ask my question, i’d like to thank all the ladies who answered my last topics. I apologise if I didn’t reply to some of you, but being a single father and running a business give me very little time to check in here.
This question is for a friend in the USA.... He signed up to a notorious pay per letter site and was obviously scammed. He has planned a trip to Ukraine next month and the woman disappeared once she pushed her to leave the site.
I have explained how the woman I met behaved once we left a site like this.
We video chatted once or twice a week on Skype and whatsapp. Talked on the phone often. Shared hundreds of pictures and videos of our lives and sometimes chatted 8 hours a day before I come to visit her.
I would like to explain to my friend that a genuine woman doesn’t behave like the one he met and would like to hear what you would expect from a man who you like, once you started chatting off this site.
How often would you like to video chat with him and in your mind what’s the importance of chatting face to face video chat?
Would you like him to call you every day or even every week on the telephone?
How can a man who has never had experience taking to a genuine FSU woman tell if she’s genuine, by the way she corresponds and interacts with him?
What level of communication should he look for, if a women likes him and she sees him as a potential future husband?
I’m trying to get him to join this site where he will have the chance to chat with nice women who are serious about meeting a man.... women like all of you.
Thanks )
Ilona
The first and obvious fact is that if you were asked to pay for something in advance, then you got to the scammers, everyone knows this. My opinion is that the more a man shows interest, the more often there will be communication, if the woman is not fake. Video chats are very important, it is a good opportunity to talk and see the reaction of the interlocutor, it is a super opportunity to understand what is common between a man and a woman and really they are so interesting together. The more often the more serious the intentions of both parties.
Matt ,
Not so much replies on your questions.So , I will give some of my own.
First off , sorry to hear that this man got scammed.
But , he did register on that site and he had video chats , maybe also phone calls and he did send and receive letters to her , so I guess , that he knows to work with computers /smartphone.
And knows his way around the internet.So , it's fair to say that he is not a complete noob.
When it comes to online dating , always check the reviews of the dating site and or test if things are legit with the woman who you are corresponding with.
For 1 , you can ask certain questions in your letters.Then ask her if she agrees that you can call her (of course this will cost some credits).
In the phone call you can ask her what she thinks about a certain topic or topics.These topics , you have talked about in your letter.
If she cannot give you a good answer or she is avoiding to answer , well , that would /should start a (little) bell to ring , right ???
About the video chats - they cost credits also - are they real and with the same woman ?
I have had video chats , where there was no sound - so only the video clip.
And it may have been pre-recorded.Don't know how it is these days.
I stopped with these pay per letter sites long time ago.
It is much better , to save the money and go over there yourself.And then try to get into contact with women on the street , bar or restaurant.
Or maybe at the beach.Perhaps the disco ...
It can be a challenge to meet someone who speaks English , but learning a bit of Russian will not hurt you.
When you do not know the Slavic (Russian)culture or tradition , first try to learn more about it , before going to that part of the world.
You don't want to miss out on the chance , when you have indeed met the woman of your dreams and you do or say the wrong things.
Remember that you are the foreigner.It is just this fact , that makes Slavic women will want to know , about your true intentions.
They may have had some bad experiences with other foreigners.Just because you come from a wealthy country , doesn't mean , that Slavic women are an easy pick.
You will have to prove , that your intentions are honest and true.And , don't think that you may do that in 2 or 3 weeks.It may take a whole lot longer than that.
But , of course , miracles can happen ..
So , is he really ready for this ???
In my other posts , to your other questions (some weeks ago) , I also mentioned about some other things.
For Slavic people and maybe more for Slavic women , it is all about trust.
Can she or they really trust you ??
It will take time , before she /they will really trust you.
But when they do , you will be their friend.
I know that this is true , because I speak from experience ...
What country was he planning to go next month ?
I'm not sure if this is the right time to go over there.
Ukraine stopped the lockdown just some weeks ago.Even if you have a negative corona test , you must still live by the corona rules and legislation.
Keep 1.5 meter distance , wear a mask (even in restaurants),on the streets.
Do you think that the woman is willing to break those rules ?She doesn't know you , he can come with a fake negative test.
How are you going to have a good date or dates , with all this ??
and the woman she is going to keep her distance ... ??
You should wear the right approved mask - so talking will not be easy.
Has he thought about that .....
"How can a man who has never had experience taking to a genuine FSU woman tell if she’s genuine, by the way she corresponds and interacts with him?
What level of communication should he look for, if a woman likes him and she sees him as a potential future husband?"
Matt, it's very easy. Please let your American friend know that a genuine FSU woman interacts with a man she truly likes the same way as a genuine American or European woman. She wants to talk to the said man and to get to know him. How often? Like... every day, or perhaps several times per day, time permitting?
Sure, a language barrier is something to be taken into account when establishing a realtionship. However, a woman who is interested in a man will not hide it and will be signaling her interest not only by her words but by body language, smiles, mimics, gestures, etc. Whenever there is reasonable doubt regarding the level of interest, I would suggest a man listen to his guts.
P.S. Quite frankly, I am surprised that a grown up sensible man could sign up to a shady "per-per-letter" enterprise. Out of sheer curiosity I attempted to google "Russian dating site" and instantly a bunch of sites popped up, including the one I met my husband at. After the first week, once mutual interest had been determined, we talked via Viber every single day (texting is more convenient with 9-hour difference). And we still text and call each other every single day after being married for almost 4 years.
Hi Svetlana ,
In essence it's true what you say.Yes , a genuine Slavic woman will behave in a same way as American or European women , when they really like a foreigner/ man.
Since he has no real experience with FSU women , this is a logical question to ask.
I can tell you why a sensible man would want to sign up with a pay per letter site.
Partly out of curiosity and just to see how it is.My first experience with these p-p-l sites go back 11 or 12 years ago.
Today there have been many additional features on these sites.Like making instant phone calls or instant video chats.
I have long time stopped with using these sites.So ,I can't say how video chats work these days on these sites.
When in a real personal meeting , and with a language barrier he can use Google translate.
And observe her body language etc - etc...
It is in these circumstances , that a little knowledge of her traditions and customs , may help him out to have pleasant and good dating time with her.
These are just my 2Cents ---
Tanya
Hi Matt. You have raised a very difficult question to which there is no single answer. All people are different and their goals are also different. There have always been "players" and people who are sincerely looking for a partner for themselves. How to understand with whom you are communicating? No answer. How to avoid mistakes and injuries? No answer. In order to be happy, there is a difficult path ahead. The language barrier. Long wait for the meeting. There is no guarantee that you are not mistaken with the choice the first time, the second ... Do you need it? You yourself must decide this for yourself. But I know for sure that happiness will not fall to you through the chimney. If you want to be happy, loved, needed, just take a chance.
Есть только два способа проверить желание женщины общаться дальше.1)Письма не реже 2-3 раз в неделю, возможно больше 2)Видеозвонок-это очень важно потому что только по видео можно понять реальный человек или нет.И еще ,копирует пусть фото и ищет изображение в Гугле, сразу выйдет имя и фамилия и соцсети этого человека. Я ,к сожалению ,уже попадала на мужчин мошенников.
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