The math of happiness

We all heard the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." In the modern age, we have lost our connection to the village. We have lost our connection to the wisdom of elders. And so the life-lessons that could help us, may not be learned until late in life. The time to live and to love is now. Yet fear of failure, fear of loss, our emotions hold us back. No one wants to get hurt. So we avoid the risk. We also know that excitement always lives at the very edge of our comfort zone. Speaking about zones... Imagine that happiness is a pie. The kind of pie that grandma made. Babushka pie. Made with love. The math of happiness is simple. 50% of happiness is in your DNA, your genetic set point, hard wired into your physiology and psychology. 40% of happiness is your INTENTIONAL ACTIVITY, the choices that you make, whatever it is that feels good to you. 10% of happiness is your life circumstances, how much money you have, the things you own, have little impact. INTENTIONAL ACTIVITY The choices that you make. Will I risk contacting someone? Will I judge that person without conversation? Will I do something for myself that makes me feel good? SELF-WORTH Much of our choices have to do with Self-Love. If we have been hurt, we lose confidence in self. The irony of self-love is that sometimes we need someone to first love us, to show us our self worth, reflecting this back to us. Yet seeking to find self-love through an other creates a co-dependency or dependency that can diminish us. And so it is lonely to come to self-love. Except that it is possible to become friendly with people, and by smaller increments of small interactions and conversations, develop the social brain and grow a sense of self-esteem and self-worth. Just through a conversation. Making smaller social goals of feeling good. In many smaller moments of positivism. Some people think that there can be no change. Science says otherwise. The human mind has plasticity. This means that we can through physical actions and daily rituals, remap the neural pathways of our minds, to become a new person. Being BORN AGAIN is a sacred biological process, as you create NEW LONG TERM MEMORIES by positively charging the neurons of your brain, with biological, biochemical and bioelectrical charge. Hug someone. Kiss someone on the cheek. Help someone. Find how powerful you are to be compassionate and empathetic. How you can change your neighbours life to make them smile. Love your neighbour as yourself, and feel good about yourself. Happiness is a mathematical process. Understanding cause and effect. Input equals output. Action and Reaction. Understanding that there is a consequence leads to understanding that to have a friend, we must first become a friend. The first friend is self. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Do something for yourself. As you do what makes you happy, then you meet someone who also finds happiness in that doing. You share something in common that makes you happy. Now take the 40% of happiness and apply this to your BANK ACCOUNT OF TIME. You have 168 hours deposited in your life each week. Rich person, poor person, all are given the same bank account of time. Now you are a TIME TRAVELER. How will you travel across time? How will you use your time? If happiness is 40% intentional activity. Now take 168 hours and apply 40% = 67.2 hours each week DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT TO DO FOR YOURSELF. No wonder people are unhappy! Maybe you have 2 hours a week to yourself? An understanding couple will collaborate across the responsibilities of life. You will buy each other time to do intentional activities that make each other happy. How many hours of hugs? How many hours of kisses and love? How many walks holding hands? Get out your calulator and your calendar and make sure that you program in the hours of love. Will you make room in your life for relationship? Will you plan your time for romance? A hand that is holding on too tightly to the old life, is not a hand that can he open to receive the new one. The mathematics is divine. 1 + 1 = 3, 4 or 5 or more Because 2 individuals will become 1 marriage. 1 marriage will become a family of many. A family of many will impact a community. A community will impact the world. And so it is that your self-love will cascade into a love, which will transform the world, if you will begin to allow yourself, to risk having the kinds of experiences that lead to your happiness. You will become an example to others around you, who also heal themselves. And through love, of others, heal the world. Is not the mathematics of happiness beautiful? Glyn MacLean