Men & women
Billy
A question for you more mature ladies
This is for the 40+ crowd, how likely would you have been to use a site like this one when you were younger. If this site were available when you were say in your early, mid to late 20s into your 30s, not knowing how your life was to unfold would this type of site have held any appeal. I know the easy reflexive answer is to say sure yes why not I would've tried it but, not to be insulting to you beautiful ladies now but at that age you were likely in your prime years in terms of looks meaning you're likely to draw the best of available local men and that you likely had a bigger social circle of other single friends to go out with and meet people with...also at that age we all tend to do what everyone else is doing and if all your friends are meeting locals and coupling up, the pull to do the same is usually strong. It's one thing if you found somebody you loved from abroad organically but would you go out of your way to look for somebody that would take you away from everything you've known and find comfortable on purpose? I'm trying to think back to my mid 20s and I wouldn't have considered looking abroad then. Back then, no chance I was happy playing the field, I didn't know what was in the cards, so why would I want to look that far away when girls were in my backyard and there was no barriers of culture, language, distance etc... last thing I wanted to do was make it harder on myself. So I am curious where you women would fall on this question
This thought process was spurred because I went on a date with a Russian girl locally last night, our first date and we talked about a bunch of topics but we got on to dating and she mentioned she had tried a dating app locally so I mentioned this site and she found it amusing and she had some rather strong opinions about why a young Eastern Euro here age, she was 26 would be on this site... I wanted to hear from the women who have life experience and could see it from both perspectives.
I had the same thoughts. In those young years, I did not have a breakdown with men from my country. I got married early, had two children. Even now, I would love to meet a man from my country. But it doesn't. I have two daughters and they prefer Russian men. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think it's easier for young people to find their man in their country.
Natalya
In his youth, the circle of contacts is very wide, and accordingly the choice of a partner. By the age of thirty, there are already children, they need to be raised and educated, priorities in these years are family and work. When you get older, life priorities change, a woman becomes more free and can already think about herself and what she wants. This is a dating site and those who come here have one goal common to all, but everyone has different motives. Having become older and having more free time, you can look around and see that the world is not limited to one home, yard, city or country, it is large and diverse.
I had a desire to expand it, because the place where I lived all my life turned out to be a "golden cell" in which I felt cramped. I give my camera the definition of "golden", because my peninsula is really beautiful in nature and climate, which is desirable for many people living in more severe landscapes or megalopolises, but still it is a cell.
After the well-known political events, it is hard for me to breathe here and I want to get out of here. I can do it on my own, but if I have a reliable partner or friend next to me, adaptation to new conditions will be easier. Although the risk of getting from the cage to the aviary is always preserved.
Foreign language and the difference in mentality, cuisine, customs, these are factors that determine our preferences in the search, can frighten or, conversely, attract. They attract me.
David
Hello again Billy. At 46 I think I’m qualified to answer your question in great depth.
Firstly I think it’s sad this has not got more likes because it’s a superb question.
In 1991 I was only 18 or 19 years old the Soviet Union has just broken into pieces and it was before I was a player..(was shy when young my players years was in very early 30s . if in the words of “Cher” if I could turn back time!!! I’d of learnt Russian back then and would loved to of sexuality re-educated girls just after the fall of the communists super state! Most definitely in the words of one of your most famous Canadians... I’d of shown them how to “keep on rocking in the free world” .... realistically back then at that age I had little money.. no experience... and nothing to offer women and didn’t fail into the criteria to bring the girls back to England.
Even now I am thrilled I can take out a pretty girl and re-educate her! I’m not perfect but in some areas lack of western education stands out dramatically even if looks and clothes wise there on PhD level!! I still find a mental state lesser than westerners different mentality
Id say a older man are good options for allot of girls. Ukraine and Belarus girls need to “get out when young” your 36 your date was 26 you said? Another beautiful slav Whos “got out maybe?”
I like this post... it’s a masterpiece because it shows that without marriage men and omen can write about there dates in a positive way without the need for “Character Assassination” your date sounds a cool girl.
At that age I agree about the local factor however to mix both English and slavic when I was younger may of helped me but my life would of been different and I’d not of had my two children...
The girls here speak about younger girls needing more investment I don’t agree my date with the most potential was only 23 and mentally better and more mature than girls twice her age. I think the answer to your question is depends on the person your date had the maturity to spread her wings and if I’m right now in Vancouver Canada most likely with good job in media? Sorry I’m guessing too much having read your educated posts on many occasions
Billy you met a Russian girl locally in my experience meeting girls in the real world though work or social meetings outweigh the risks of online dating! Online date people including myself are “damaged in some way” the discount rack of dating for whatever reason...
I can see why your date beautiful young Russian girl who’s travelling or working abroad can see it amusing that someone her age would do online dating... she sounds carved out of better material than online dates
I’ve a funny story about online dating when I was about 34 I was in my player years & I met a girl in Derry in Ireland 🇮🇪 “Irish Catholic” family marches against the English at Bloody Sunday civil rights march... she hated English but my knowledge of Irish history “coffin ships, hunger strikes, Bobby Sands and Potato famine etc.... well she was like your girl “the cream” she said David I like you and everything but you see we need to talk about a few things like... I’ve a lot of friend and everyone knows me in the city and when my friends ask you where we met... this is very important we met in Catholic Part of the city in a bar you was here on business and at first I wasn’t interested but when we spoke it was a good laugh so we decided to meet again... if my friends know we met online “it’s kind of weird” no infact its very weird!!
Another of my better dates who I was with 3 years in England was because she met her husband at school and was with him till late 30s till he died of cancer then she was single 3 years and then met me her second lifetime lover.... quite often online either the eligible men are former players or the girls have to have good reason for being here!! People here who date because they can’t find a man at home after many try’s is just part of the online dating merry-go-round 🎠
Billy I can see exactly what your girl means by what she says
PS sorry about not answering your last reply to me on another subject that post was closed before I could reply
Liana
Действительно возраст и интеллект, у многих не совпадают,
Я сейчас смотрю на бывших малолеток , которые были младше меня на 4-5 лет, а нас считали уже старушками...
Так вот, они сейчас старушки 😁
И меня это очень забавляет )))
И потом, могу заметить, что действительно, многие молодые мужчины а, моему самому младшему парню было 23, действительно умнее, и серьезнее некоторых мужчин, которые вдвое старше его.
Меня всегда умиляет ,когда говорят о возрасте и интеллекте..
Возраст не показатель, внешность не талант, интеллект это не умные фразы, а умение жить...
И пока женщина внутренне молода, она всегда молода внешне...
А мужчин часто привлекает, только возраст, он их возбуждает, и льстит
Есть такое выражение в народе "Седина- в бороду, бес в ребро"
Billy
Thank you David, I thought the question was a little different than the traditional fare of trashing on dates and asking rather simplistic questions that we're becoming sadly used to in here. There weren't a lot of responses but the ones that were given were quite informative.
My intention was to bring up what my date said once some responses filtered in but you beat me to the punch and knew exactly what she was saying. She felt like a young woman who looked even somewhat good that didn't have children in that part of the world had endless options so the likely reason she would be online is that the local men had vetted her and passed on her and we foreign men should probably do the same. As she said, listen to the experts they know their women lol. She said if you want a Russian girl go to Russia, that is the best way to meet a quality local girl, but she said go spend actual time, and not a weekend but real time, she said a year which is kind of a pipe dream for most of us but I get what she was saying. There are always exceptions, there has to be, some women are going to have wanderlust and want to experience life elsewhere and this is the practical way to have the most access to people from elsewhere but seeing these answers I'm thinking overall she was very right. She showed me her vk inbox which was something I had no idea existed lol but she was inundated with date requests, she said bluntly if she were still living there she'd be married by now that's how it works, only reason she isn't is because she came here for school and landed a great job who sponsored her to stay. We got introduced by friends, I didn't know she was Russian til I got there, so it was an interesting coincidence. I guess I'm used to people online dating, everyone is on tinder or bumble or hinge these days that I never thought about it from an international perspective before. For me this was just another avenue, I don't need to find an Eastern European, I meet women at home all the time so wherever it happens so be it. I just assumed that was a common mindset...Never assume, how many times does life need to teach any of us that lesson, for me obviously one more time at least. I didn't think somebody in her mid 20s here would be as you perfectly put it, discount rack material lol. I forget what it's like to be 20 and be out with my boys every weekend meeting somebody new all the time, your world shrinks as you get older. When you have a busy career that monopolizes your time, or a family as well like in your cae and your friends are married off, you're not out and about mingling socializing, you accept the way you date now as the new normal forgetting for others that's not the case. I had posted a while back about having some weird experiences with many of the conversations I had here, at the time it was a cluster of Ukranian women so I thought maybe it was cultural but the trend continues and it isn't just Ukranian women anymore, so I owe them an apology, I find few women I enjoy talking to that are in my dating range on this site, most are quite strange and off putting. The older women here are by far more interesting just not practical for my life. I've met loads of Russians in my travels and got along extremely well so I was wondering what the disconnect was here, now it's all making more sense.
hahaha I love the Irish girl story, I think that in the early days of online dating we all ran into somebody like that or were that person, it was embarrassing to be an online dater. That's stigma largely gone locally...still exists when looking abroad. I know a guy locally who met a girl from the Philippines online and he felt no shame but I have to admit I thought really you needed to go out there...I had to catch myself, like how is it any different than my trying this site out but even when we're open to it we can still be a bit judgy.
It sounds like you've lived an interesting life my friend, I hope we can share some stories over some drinks one day, we've probably got some doozies between us from our player days lol
Hi, Billy.
Any person is subject to nature, that is, the laws of his age. Up to 30 years-is the search for their place in society. Positioning your " I " in the multidimensional space of society. A lot of different contacts and at different levels occur at a young age. They are enough for that period - education, growing up, work. This is the age of continuous change, a period of knowledge and identification of the individual. After 30 years-the implementation and use of experience, when there is already a certain life baggage. Women and men are different. Because nature sets different tasks. Separately for men, separately for women. (Without men there would be no children, without women there would be no men )))).
So. For the first knowledge, the first experience, accumulation of the necessary baggage, it is enough for a person that he meets at school, Institute, bar, in the backyard or in a circle of interests. There everything moves and interacts, there is interesting, there is love and the first "tragedy", there is enough material to study ))). In their social environment, society, country. Curious mind seeks further and further, overcoming boundaries, continuing accumulation of experience. And the lazy mind is satisfied with what it has received, it is enough. Most women at this stage already have experience of family life and children. Their "maturation" is faster than that of men. If a man looks back and analyzes in 40 years, the woman does it already in 30. In this criterion - they are the same age, 7-10 years is the normal age gap in this period. A woman knows exactly what she wants and what her children need. And the man begins to understand that he wants what he does not have, but not what he has. Pun.) Access to the international website of both men and women is due to the exact knowledge of what they want. A man wants to change his life. A man understands that in his society he will not find a woman who will make him happy. She must be different. The man begins to look in another country. The woman also understands that the conditions of her country will not give the opportunity to fully raise children and find happiness. At the same time, the woman is ready to work hard. In the same way as it works in their country. And she wants to love a man who understands her, who shares her life. Explain so. I work 10-12 hours every day, but I can't earn more than society allows me to.At the same time, the quality of my life is much lower than in another country of the world in similar conditions. I'm not talking about men or women playing Dating...
Previously, I did not think about finding a loved one in another country. Because there was no time to think about it, there was a lot of work and obligations. The time of information borders has passed, we can all now know about the world, study countries and laws, it is available. We can choose our lives. We are able and ready to work. We know how to love and be loyal. I understand the motives that now guide young women going to international sites. Years of life go to waste, as the engine idling-gasoline is consumed, and there is no movement. The fruits of our efforts do not bring adequate life benefits. Unfortunately.... Everything is comprehended in comparison.
Привет, Билли.
Любой человек подчинен природе,то есть периодам своего возраста. До 30 лет - это поиск своего места в обществе. Позиционирование своего "Я" в многомерном пространстве социума. Очень много разных контактов на разных уровнях возникает в молодом возрасте. Их хватает на тот период - образование, взросление, работа. Это возраст сплошных перемен, период познания и идентификации личности. После 30 лет - реализация и использование накопленного опыта, когда уже есть определённый жизненный багаж. У женщин и мужчин по разному. Потому что природа ставит разные задачи. Отдельно для мужчин, отдельно для женщин. (Без мужчин не было бы детей, без женщин не было бы мужчин )))).
Итак. Для первых познаний, первого опыта, накопления нужного багажа, человеку достаточно того, что он встречает в школе, институте, баре, на заднем дворе или в круге по интересам. Там всё движется и взаимодействует, там интересно, там любовь и первые "трагедии", там хватает материала для изучения ))). В своей социальной среде, обществе, стране. Любознательный ум стремится дальше и дальше, преодолевая границы, продолжая накопление опыта. А ленивый ум удовлетворяется тем, что получил, ему достаточно. Большинство женщин к этому возрасту уже имеют в активе опыт семейной жизни и детей. Их "взросление" происходит быстрее, чем у мужчин. Если мужчина оглядывается и анализирует в 40 лет, то женщина это делает уже в 30. В этом критерии - они ровесники, 7-10 лет нормальная разница возраста в этот период. Женщина точно знает чего хочет она и что нужно её детям. А мужчина начинает понимать, что он хочет того, чего у него нет, но совсем не того, что у него есть. Каламбур). Выход на международной сайт как мужчин, так и женщин, обусловлен точным знанием того, чего они хотят. Человек хочет кординально изменить свою жизнь. Мужчина понимает, что в своём социуме он не найдёт женщину, которая составит его счастье. Она должна быть другой. Мужчина начинает искать в другой стране. Женщина так же понимает, что условия её страны не дадут возможности полноценно воспитать детей и найти свое счастье. При этом женщина готова много работать. Так же, как она работает в своей стране. И хочет любить человека, который её понимает, который разделяет с ней её жизнь. Объясню так. Я работаю 10-12 часов каждый день, но я не могу заработать больше, чем это позволяет мне общество. При этом качество моей жизни гораздо ниже, чем могло быть в другой стране в аналогичных условиях. Я не называю стран. И не говорю о мужчинах или женщинах, играющими в дейтинг...
Раньше я не задумывалась о поиске близкого человека в другой стране. Потому что некогда об этом думать, было много работы и обязательств. Время информационных границ прошло, мы всё можем сейчас знать о мире, изучать страны и законы, это доступно. Мы можем выбирать свою жизнь. Мы умеем и готовы работать. Мы умеем любить и быть преданными. Мне понятны мотивы, которые сейчас руководят молодыми женщинами, выходящими на международные сайты. Годы жизни уходят впустую, как двигатель на холостом ходу - бензин расходуется, а движения нет. Плоды наших усилий не приносят адекватных жизненных благ. К сожалению.... Всё постигается в сравнении.
David
Thank you. I mainly come here for the forum. I’ve been on dates here but I’ve not found anyone yet who I’ve rushed to England to make my wife. The first girl I ever met on here was wife material however it came to light she was already married which was a shame but her daughter was my inspiration to lean Russian. I didn’t feel the need to throw this washing onto forum has despite being married she was still “a catch” in every other area!!
Yes a year in a major Eastern European city getting a community based job teaching English for little money I think is every mans dream (if we had time and resources and ability to leave our family for so long) to have a base in the city and to detach the status from the cynical sex tourist tag everyone who visits seems to get if local or otherwise
I dated a girl in London many years ago who was the most polite professional person ever and she shown me her inbox 7000 messages it was in my player days and the girl and I remain friends for many years till she met a manipulative man she had total class
I was in Kiev before they got visa free travel to Europe then you could cherry pick the best girls of film star quality since it’s not the same... so many have got out of there!!
Praskovya
ЭхДевид, я чувствую что не смотря на двух детей. Вы сидите в карусели. Вы к счастью Вашему не знаете. Какие стремительные карусели у наших парней и мужчин молодых и не очень. Вы не плохой человек, персона: у вас есть совесть. А в личной жизни ваша карусель останавливается на три года.
У женщин не будет на вас обид тяжелых. Если вы будете выбирать себе их для недолгой якорной стоянки по себе, таких же как и Вы.
Маленькая подсказка. Что говорит астрология по поводу вашей "карусели"и коротких "якорных стоянок". Основные ваши планеты, Венера и Марс, возможно, Юпитер в мутабельных знаках стоят при рождении. Поэтому сколько бы вам лет ни было - вы всегда в поиске интересных активно- познавательных для вас людей. Вы много от нас берете. И это является вашим хлебом с икрой.
А я не умею на этом зарабатывать
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