Men & women
Nargis
Есть ли здесь мужчины,которые способны учить язык своей женщины?
Я на сайте новичок.Сайт хороший,легкий и доступный благодаря быстрому переводу.Единственное что меня беспокоит,что нет никаких историй о том,есть ли вообще мужчины,которые ради женщины приехали к ней на родину.Не создавая ей проблем,ведь как известно визу получить не так легко для многих женщин да и экономическое положение не у всех шикарное.Есть ли здесь мужчины,которые способны учить язык своей женщины или они рассчитывают только на то,что все должна делать женщина.Считаю,что желание выйти замуж это не повод перенимать абсолютно все только от культуры мужа.Ответьте если у кого есть опыт.- << Previous
- 1
- 2
- 3
- Next >>
page 2 from 3
Nargis
Вот здесь Вы правы абсолютно.Но и мужчина тоже должен хотеть того же.Иначе зачем все? Слишком многие мужчины пользуются желанием женщины выйти замуж и просто садятся им на голову и получается,что все должна женщина.Любые отношения это труд двоих людей.Тем более в международном браке.
Marina
Marina
Совершенно верно. Кто платит, тот и заказывает музыку
Сегодня мой МЧ сказал что ради меня он может переехать жить в мой город. Я не знала что ответить. Такое бывает ??? Думаю он слабо представляет как жить в Украине
Marina
А что там не так? Один человек из заграницы хочет жить в Казахстане например
Natasha
Один господин в беседе по Скайпу посетовал: "Здесь так мало женщин, знающих иностранный язык! Почему они его не учат? Это ведь им знакомство с иностранцем нужно!"Меня это очень удивило и повеселило: а мне-то казалось, что знакомство нужно обеим сторонам.
Но присутствуют на сайте и те, кто сам делает шаг навстречу своей потенциальной избраннице. Среди моих друзей здесь есть такой человек - простой добрый парень со здоровым интересом к нашей культуре, увлеченно учит русский язык. Надеюсь, что кому-то повезет с мужем.
Irina
А я думаю что женщина конечно для быстрейшей адаптации должна выучить язык своего избранника. Но думаю что мужчине будет интересно хоть немного знать язык своей избраннице. Ведь ему все равно нужно будет когда нибудь общаться с ещё родственниками и всем будет приятно что он хоть немного знает их язык. Это только возвысит его в глазах родственников своей женщины.но это конечно не принципиально.
Да это все понятно и само собой. "Радует" именно отношение: "знакомство нужно женщине" против "знакомство нужно обоим".
Irina
Ну не знаю какое (чье)ты конкретно имеешь в виду знакомство((( Я не представляю себе как мужчина сможет привыкнуть к другой стране,чужому городу,чужим устоям.Зачем над ним издеваться,честное слово.Если он действительно собрался переезжать к женщине, то как то странно все это.Ему на своей Родине похоже нечего терять((( Мне это очень странно и как то даже напрягает. А вас нет?
When I first met my ex-wife many years ago, I started to learn Russian. But then I stopped, because she wanted to practice English. A few years ago I started to study again a little. I can manage the basics, but not much conversation and only slowly. I plan to start again.
I think that it is necessary to learn the language as part of the culture if only a little, if you love a woman. I want to know all about her, not expect her to conform completely to me. And frankly I like to visit the FSU countries, so knowing some of the language makes it easier.
Frankly speaking, I cannot imagine wanting to marry a Russian/Ukrainian/etc. girl and not learning Russian language. How is it possible?
Irina
Ну и вы к нам присоединились! Все правильно, нужно хоть разговорную речь знать и уже будет хорошо. Грамматику не обязательно,это сложно порой и нам самим. Так и мы учим английский разговорный, а грамматику уже кто как.
Men: little things in a marriage are often those most appreciated by a new spouse. Your new bride may have left everything she has ever known to follow you to a new land and culture. Do you naively think simply being with you is full compensation for the extreme changes she has willingly accepted? Smart men will recognize all she has sacrificed simply to be with you and honor that. You men reading this, what would be the effect on her if you were to cut through some of the homesickness and loneliness by speaking to her from you heart and sharing how much you loved her -- IN HER OWN LANGUAGE? What a gift for her, even if you had to practice for two weeks to accomplish one sentence! Those types of acts are how you will win her. God forbid, (shut-up, Tommaso), you may actually catch on, learn her entire language and develop an incredibly deeper bond with her. ))) I’m just sayin! By the way, Steve has excellent command of English. Would be a great teacher!
I'm with you, Steve. How hard can it be if little kids can learn it!? )))
You are correct Doug, "Я люблю тебя!" should be something a man learns at the least. And I will admit that it does not roll off the tongue so easily for English speakers. That's alright, you can never say it enough to your woman.
Also the changes are astronomical to your woman and you can never take them for granted or dismiss them lightly.
Actually, most of our language skills are in place by the time we are six years old and each year beyond it becomes harder and harder to learn a new language, especially a first one. By adult life, we must make a concerted effort to learn, where as the children can learn much more easily. My ex-wife's cousin and her daughter visited us when the little girl was 4 years old. They were in the US for about 5 weeks and by the time she left, Anya was speaking English without an accent.
There are also other ways to show respect for the partner in an internatinal relationship, and learning the language, if not living in the related country, is (nice, but) not a must. Moreover it is clear that Slavic languages present a challenge for learners.
Unfortunately those who are willing to make a step towards their possible wife's culture (at least to understand the differences and not expect her to behave like an emancipated Western lady) are really not many. Some communicate as if they were doing a great favour. That just bewilders and surprises me, and I get curious what are the advantages underlying such a position (no kidding, I would really like to know).
But, there is a positive side of it: the nicer look those who stay polite and respectful.
Hi Helga,
The idea "doing a great favor" to bring a Slavic girl to the West lies in the mistaken impressions that many (most?) westerners have regarding life and culture in FSU countries. Movies have not helped this false impression and so I believe that some men really do think they are able to choose a woman as they choose a loaf of bread or a carton of eggs at the grocery store because the women "will be so grateful just to get out of Russia". What a shock it must be when the men go to see Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, etc. The women are intelligent, educated, classy, feminine, cultured, etc. My ex-wife was from a higher social class than I was.
It is important to learn as much as possible, I think, to be successful in the search for a special woman and whether that is language, culture, history, geography, anything, each part brings you into her world. Slavic girls do not need to be rescued from Russia or Ukraine, they need only to be "rescued" from loneliness and lack of a man and a family. The woman is not a prize, she is a partner, lover, wife. That needs to be the approach taken to be successful.
Helga, the alphabet alone presents a major challenge. I'm not sure where to start but I believe there's nothing one cannot do if they are determined. The old question; how does one eat an elephant? Answer: one bite at a time. Gulp!
Yep, many Americans have that misconception, don't they!? One of the things I find very attractive about the ladies online here is they are so polite and considerate, Steve. They make me self-conscious about my manners and I thought I was pretty good! ))) They are easy to treat like princesses; because most of them are. Many here in Western Pennsylvania don’t even know what “polite” means. )) When I’m done with my legal work here, I think we will find a new home! The literacy rate is killing me! When you bring your girl to the US, I would recommend that for her first visit, don’t take her to Wal-Mart! )))) Good luck, buddy!
In my opinion a lot of people in international marriages doesn't fully understand the importance of languages.
-
The following is copied from an earlier letter before divorcing with Lena.
My Ukraine wife for the last 13 years.
-
---------------------------------------
About learning the language.
The barrier that can make or brake your marriage.
-
Back in the days when writing letters,
I always touched on the importance of learning the native language of your destination.
If a woman didn't have a basic foundation in English or German already,
I considered it a waste of time to go forward.
In my opinion; most intelligent RW that are serious about moving to another country for marriage,
starts by learning a little English first.
-
It is among my deepest beliefs; that for an intelligent, thinking person to feel at home and flourish in a society,
he needs to master the language to absolute perfection.
Not only grammatically correct, but all the subtle nuances adding additional depth to the spoken word.
A task so easy in youth, getting increasingly harder the older you get.
-
From personal experience I have observed that some people can happily live their entire lives in a society
without knowing more than minuscule percentage of their language.
-
Me, not. Neither would I want my future wife to be isolated by language in her new country.
Truly learning a new language is a long and hard journey that will take several years.
but the only alternative for happiness in my opinion is returning to where she came from.
-
Through the years here at home I have seen many well educated women from FSU
working in low paid jobs far below their rank because they married a man that didn't
understand or want the burden of struggling for years perfecting his wife's new language.
Almost all of those divorced a few years later.
-
When I started writing with Lena her English was above basic.
During the following eight months she rose to above good in writing and on the phone.
I offered to help pay for her classes early on, but she refused.
From the first day we met, communicating was mostly painless.
Before leaving from Kiev we visited several book stores in search of Russian-Norwegian dictionaries.
She then started learning Norwegian on her own immediately after arriving here.
Later, as soon as we got her enrolled, she took classes in school.
On top of that I found a young fluent speaking female teacher from Moscow,
for an additional hour or two every other evening.
Lena's first years in Norway was mostly dedicated to learning Norwegian.
And she is still learning to this day, even though her grammar now is above most native citizen.
Without mastering the language she wouldn't have been able to reeducate and kick start a new career either.
She is working as an auditor in the Norwegian Tax Department.
For her present position, investigating tax fraud and preparing reports to be used as evidence in court,
a perfect language is an absolute requirement.
-
Later when we (my wife) planned for kids we decided to let them learn both Russian and Norwegian.
I would speak and learn them Norwegian, while Lena would communicate only in Russian, and she still does
On top of that we enrolled them in an English speaking kindergarten and later a private English speaking school.
It has paid off as planned, today at the age of ten they are mastering three languages fluently.
(Slightly behind in Russian as they have only one source of input.)
--------------------------------------------
-
From what I have observed, if you start learning at age 20 or older with no basement, it takes ten years or more.
And that is ten years of listening, correcting, learning and having a dictionary available at all times.
Asking questions about how to pronounce or build a specific sentence every day.
Not only living there and speaking the language.
-
There is a large network of Russian speaking women in southern Norway.
According to Lena, all of them speak Norwegian, but less than ten percent speaks truly fluent Norwegian.
The level of language is worst among those who came here without knowing English first.
Today she is no longer dependent on this network to "feel at home".
She has been able to find new friends based on common interest instead of common language.
You will see this throughout the world,
how immigrants in countries builds communities based on a common language.
Because they need a place to feel at home.
-
I listened to Swedish Radio a few weeks ago about discrimination by language,
They were interviewing older immigrants having lived in Sweden for most of their life.
Educated people speaking fluent Swedish, but with a strong accent.
Telling how they had been discriminated in everyday life when asking for help,
voicing their opinion, applying for positions at work and so forth.....
I have seen the same here at home, again and again,
it just shows the strength of bonds tied through language.
-
Did Lena think it was important for me to learn Russian?
Absolutely not, she wanted all of our resources to be used for her to learn Norwegian first.
She couldn't see any reason for me to dedicate a lot of my already limited time,
for something I would barely have any use for.
-
But I did learn a little Russian before marrying.
As I was driving by car in Russia and Ukraine for meeting with women,
I needed to learn the alphabet for reading road names.
And also a few words for directions, like left, right and straight ahead.
Of course being able to count and a few more basics was also necessary.
But I couldn't understand or speak at all.
Before going to Ukraine by car for a month this summer,
I picked up on learning again, so I could manage a simple conversation by phone.
To arrange a meeting with a Russian speaking woman I needed some 100 more words,
and 20-30 basic sentences related to discussing where and when to meet.
And avoiding a catastrophe when something went wrong.
It worked very well, but got me into some funny situations,
because the women didn't realize my severely restricted understanding of Russian.
-
In my opinion,,,,,
use whatever time you available for learning her language before she arrives in your country.
But from the day she arrives,,,,
use all your resources for integrating her as smoothly as possible in her new environment.
And most of all integrating her through language.
-
Jan
-
Photo shows Lena 13 years ago in front of the free Norwegian school
Verrei a Tashkent se avessi l'intenzione di trasferirmi lí, ma le cose non stanno così.
Cosí gli altri! Temo che dovrai viaggiare tu e ben difficilmente troverai uno che verrá fin lì solo per incontrare te, per poi tornarsene in Europa o USA.
Questo almeno la prima volta.
Personalmente io invito solo e non visito nessuna. Perchè? Perchè voglio vivere dove vivo e quindi è meglio che la signora veda come vivo e dove vivo, stabilito che sará lei a dover cambiare residenza. Tutte le altre ipotesi le scarto e non perdo tempo a far cose inutili.
Actually I found the printed alphabet to be rather easy to learn and picked it up in only a few days. Now don't get me started on handwriting however!
That is true regarding manners. It is one of the small parts of the Slavic culture that I very much appreciate. Americans have become so rude, or rather self-interested, as a group. I am continually amazed at the lack of ability for people to say "Excuse me". Although I will also say that my first few days on the tram in Minsk was difficult because the politeness seems to go out the window in boarding and departing public transportation.
I avoid Wal-Mart at all costs anyway, so not much risk of going there except in a "pinch". Ironically, I grew up just a little over 100 miles from where you are now. I don't know that I could have brought a girl to Erie. Frankly I do not want to live there anymore and visit because most of my family is there.
Mila
Здравствуйте Наргиз!Мой мужчина никогда не учил русский и тем более украинский язык раньше,но сейчас он знает много слов на русском,может поздороваться,а считает до ста-без запинки!Проявляет интерес,когда приезжал в Украину-читал все вывески и рекламу вслух и я видела-ему это интересно,я не заставляю его учить,но он хочет сам,конечно разговорная речь пока не для него,но некоторые слова из моего разговора с кем-то ему уже понятны и он спрашивает меня потом что я имела в виду.А у моей подруги муж итальянец,живут больше десяти лет,но он от силы знает пять-шесть слов,не учит,не хочет.
Jan, sorry I did not read your post until now. I am sorry Lena is not with you. I sense your loss. I do not understand these things, but I can feel the high cost on the heart. My best wishes for you, Jan.
I live here, Steve, because I must. I think the literacy rate is now up to 35%. Getting better!!! )))
Ha poco senso che un uomo adulto occidentale che vive in occidente impari il russo. Io so una ventina di parole, ma non mi serve imparare il russo. Se vivessi in Russia o ucraina lo imparerei. Ma non ho nessuna intenzione d'andare a vivere in quei paesi.
Ho vissuto in Argentina e Indonesia e so lo spagnolo come l'italiano e me la cavo benissimo con l'indonesiano, poi parlo inglese, francese e portoghese. Dovrei perdere almeno tre anni per imparare il russo. E sinceramente non ne ricaverei alcun vantaggio.
- << Previous
- 1
- 2
- 3
- Next >>
page 2 from 3
top