4 Levels of Cultivating and Sustaining a Relationship

We all have to deal with many kind of relationship, and one is that of a soul mate couples. It is an important part of our life – How we immerse ourselves in it, is also part of our spiritual growth. I would like to pen down here, my philosophy from my life experience - what I convey with all those who come for advice and discussion. I read and reread the book called Bhagawat Gita, so I will be elaborately borrowing things from there. It is really beautiful book. Written and presented as not specific to a religion. Whatever your religion or faith ( if you have one), where ever, it is told Supreme Being, God Head, or equivalent, you can just imagine it as the GOD you have in your mind, whom you follow. 1. Communication is the foundation. Simple, genuine words and expressions should be part of communication. We should communicate only what we mean. No ill intentions. Be yourself. Let no topic be restricted, it all will give an insight to the other person and will also expose us. Even it is sex, I feel that it should be allowed and we leave our inhibitions. If the whole conversation later revolves around this topic only, then also we get to understand the other person. Never should stop communicating if you want to build any relationship. If we have a difference of opinion, or the party touched a sensitive subject or told something that we didn't expect, Leave all Ego behind, Express your mind openly, but never stop communicating. Haven’t you seen, if not manipulated, even if the child is reprimanded by us, a child will continue to talk to us in a very innocent manner, Even if we were wrong in doing it to him. I don't know when we lose that ability. Be open, allow the communication to flow. Everything will become clear. Don’t bring in your apprehensions and selfishness to pollute the communication. Because of various concoction of thoughts in mind, coupled with Ego, if we stop communicating, then we never know if we escaped an abuse or gain a great person. More over, remember, when we talk honestly, we need not remember what we are saying. We get a very peaceful time. Those who cannot digest who we really are, is not worth moving forward with. We will also get a feedback from them which will show their own propensity. Think, once married, if we stop communicating then we are destroying the very foundation. 2. Respect are the pillars / columns. We have to treat each other with respect. Understand the needs and feelings. It will help in making strong and tall pillars / columns -- over the foundation of communication. As far as my philosophy is concerned there is nothing called "Self Respect ". I don't agree to that term at all. We should conduct with others, in such a way that they should be able to respect us. If we are not able to respect each others views, it is a problem. At times we will agree to disagree with each other, but still we communicate, that will lead to success. Remember, one thing, How others deal with you, should never make you feel angry, or any other negative emotions within us. You should remember, it is them who is acting that way. If they are wrong, they should be ashamed and thinking and correcting. No need for us to be upset, or sad. Have compassion for them within our mind, may be tell them also what we felt before we part ways with them. We need to be only bothered about how we behave to others and interact with them and what is there in our mind for them. It is in our control and it is our duty. So if we find out that the person is not at all, in line with what we have in mind, we have every option to stop. Allow them to be their own self. If they think that your politeness and openness is your weakness and they feel superior, let it be. You are just seeing what you are going to face in the future, you just fast forwarded to that point. Now you make the call. 3. Trust are the tie, support and top beams. With meaningful communication we start an interaction, and we deal with the other person respectfully, we should ensure that we keep our words for each other. It is life, when there is a change, communicate the same. Generally be Trustworthy. The other person also should put effort to understand what is happening. It might take some time, to get into absolute sync with each other,. And thus, a trust has to be built, which will give a good amount of confidence, security and peace of mind to our partners about us. Trust is the key Beams which will secure the tall pillars of respect of a relationship build on the foundation of communication. We cannot ensure that other person is always trustworthy, but we can ensure that we are trustworthy. So if a person jumps into a shit, doesn’t mean that we should also go and jump into another shit ourselves. We do things for our own self satisfaction. Integrity is to do the right thing, whether other people are watching us or not. We need to be convinced of ourselves, we are not answerable to anyone, but only within us. Otherwise in a modern world sense, think that there is a recorder of all our thoughts and what we think and say is being analyzed and we will be exposed for our lack of trustworthiness. Will you risk humiliation if this is the case ? Think like that and act accordingly. 4. Love is the ultimate. On the foundation of communication Resting in the columns of respect Secured by trust as the tie beams, support beams and load beams. We will have a roof full of love ❤ It will help us protect from all the weathers we will have to pass through. if these 4 things is nourished in a committed manner between two partners, then any relationship will flourish. Know that a couple relationship cannot survive without both parties working on these 4 items. And as you do maintenance of a Equipment or Building or any assets of ours, this need to be continuously worked out. I am sure, this can be aptly applied in any type of relationship that we build – personal, professional, social, etc Now if you are practicing any scripture, you can further read this. If you have absolute faith, we can make this applicable. To talk about this steps in a spiritual manner, let me add on something. The Supersoul, is there within us. HE resides with our soul, as two birds sitting in the same nest. HE is always a witness to all our deeds, so when we talk something and mean something, according to the other person’s karma effect, GOD will ensure that life plays against us, for all our ill and selfish intentions. ( The fact that GOD knows everything is there in any religious text, which you might read ) Now, if you know that the GOD or Supreme Being whom you are believing in, is in the other person, even if the person behaves oddly, we can give respect to our faith and GOD in him / her. So how can we disrespect that person. What the other person does is none of our problem, we don't stoop to their level. In terms of Trust, Should I elaborate on it ? No need, right ? Whom we trust is right there, There can be no harm. But GOD asks for that we apply our discretion also. Every scripture says, GOD also avoids those beings who have decided to be in a Mode of Ignorance. So if we find that trait, we should avoid the person. Regarding Love, if we are able to grow the 3, then we can be sure that the other person is indeed radiating the Mode of Goodness Or at least Mode of Passion. So the way we Love GOD, we can just Love him / her. We don’t have to go and worship anywhere, if we are able to see and feel the God inside our partner. But I know and accept, we are all humans. But we can also ensure that we put the best effort in this direction. I have presented my mind here. Hope at least some of you will feel like accepting a major portion of the same. Regards, RSP <span class='ns ns_128522'>&nbsp;</span>