Children in a family with a foreign man
ChildrenHi everyone .I have a question I want to ask the lady’s pls. Call me old or whatever you like but for me children are a person’s legacy .A child come from you and normally out of love between two persons unfortunately that relationship sometime don’t last (that’s why we are all here ). For my children I will do anything they are in my eyes the reason we are on the earth and I think every mother feels the same, and when I choose a lady I choose her with her children because they are part of her and I will love then just like my own and their mother. They are a packaged deal and can’t be split. Now I would like to know when I look at profiles I can understand when a lady without kid’s might ask that the man be “no” kids or “yes but living separate “ but what I can’t understand is that a lady with kids will want the man to be “yes but living separate “. Will she leave her kid to be with a man? If not how can she want the man to leave his kids for her BUT she keeps her own kids? Normally when I see that in a profile I ignore that profile.
In Russia and Ukraine it is rarely when children stay with father after separation. This stereotype works in our mind. Additionally women fear that new partner children will not accept her and will make difficulties so that everyone wants easy way.And there is a difference between mail and women understanding alien children.
Hmmmm ok i see that piont. But in my experiance the easy way is not always the best way. Something that a person has worked for is always more apresiated than something they get for free . Im too much of a family man to ever think that either myself or the lady that i love have to leave the kids somewhere and not with us.
Andre, I would like to let you know that there are a lot of men's profiles here with such demands, you mentioned regarding women. I absolutely agree with your point regarding ignoring such profiles. From one side I must being a very happy with situation when man has a child who lives with him but in the same time he is against woman with kid since I don’t have kids and so called 'my chances'increase)))). But It cause me a very negative reaction instead. I am ready to love a child of my partner but I am not sure that man with such point of view can value such a gesture from woman. After going through a number of men’s profiles who are in many cases take care about their own needs and interests in choosing a woman (and they all have right on it) I have changed the statement that I don’t mind man has kids who live with him on other one… I think we all women and men should be more mature in our requirements since we all have past.
May I ask another question pls ??
I can Understand it when a child is 18 and older that he/she is out of the house and not supported any more but how is it that there are ome that are between 6 and 14 that are the same "not provided" Is it that the child is in the father's care or how does it work pls .Here with us the child normally go to the mother when the child is young except when the father fights for the kid ? Sorry if it sound dumm i was wondering about it ?
It is not a question of right or wrong, first or last The Love a person have for his partner is different than for children same as for your parents. My partner will be my partner that i love with all my heart as lover,wife ,mother of my kids and have a spesial place for me the children dont matter if its mine ,hers or ours they dint asked to be there they are the product of two persons in love and i feel and belief that its our responsibility as adults and parents to protect them to keep them save and the day you decide to have children you must be aware that from that day all your decisions will have to be in consideration of them too they are NOT a burden or fun spoilers they are our responsibility that we need to take care of them as best as we always can The children are the combine responsibility of both partners both partners working as a team to make a succsess of the children so that the children will have the best change in life for succsess and that can only be achieved if both partnes stand together in love and be as one voice. Hope you understand better now Galina ?
yes I understand your opinion Andre, thank you very much. But what about situation that i have been arleady. I felt like i come fourth after my man's daughter like ?I unwanted there and he still say about love also when his daughters around and not he acted like two different people. Of course I understand the difference how it should be and didn't want any intimate. But it looked like they are his wives and lovers and he was scared to make them jelaous. What is right in my case?
Outch thats a bad one realy and very sensitive to answer from where i stand outside without all the facts. I dont want to be a ashole myself but the way you tell he "might" have took them as you said and thats taking things way too far. The wife or mother of the children was first in life and have brought the children into life so without her they would never have excisted so it is normal , just and moraly correct that she is no1 and they are second in line. The daughters (in this case and every case) can never replace or take the place of the mother or as the wife for the man they come from the 2 people and must be protected yes but never replace either of the parents in the relationship . And if i may say in your case i hope you kicked him under his ass AND took the daughters away from him. He is not worth You and the daughters he and you brought in this life together. And Im very sorry to hear about your situation.