My actions are being perceived differently than intended

for Wade, 36 лет

USA, Grand Junction, CO

I smile to you )) Thanks for your true.I have to say I am here for talking and friendship too.I hope I offend nobody here.All my numerous contacts know that and wonder why do I have this way.Ok, I am true as usually.I am glad to have English practice here and I am very thankful to each my contact with a very good English. But the greatest thankful to the host of this site.One is really perfect.

The best way to plan and come to the meetings.

Dear Wade,
You're right that it's better to get to know someone better communicating before direct actoins and you're right again that everyone is individual. I'm sure that patience is crucial for both in this case. I'll be happy if my experience will help you.
He is an Italian. We found each other and started communicating on this site then we used e-mail. He's a good and intelligent person with whom I could make an interesting dialogue. We got in touch for 8 months!!! When I asked about personal meeting, he said that there were some problems (He really had problems, he's got them up to now). I waited and waited and waited...And one day I realized that he would never come. I asked to stop the relations for a month to see if I would miss him or not (I didn't have any contacts with other men). He waited... He left the site. Now we are just friends on fb. The relationships stopped.
Next example, again Italian. Communication is hardly called 'a dialogue'. He just sent me messages from a mobile phone about weather, work, friends for 2 months!!!

What's up brotha? I know you are moreso looking for a answer from one of these fine girls on here, but I want to shoot you a reply, so I will.

I been on here a week myself; very good question you have that I think many more also have. I think the right answer is, there is no right answer as far as intense, directness vs casual convo and which is a better approach? And when is it better? To answer your question more specifically though, I don't believe you've been doing anything wrong and I say this with knowledge from my own experience.

On here, I think it's important to remember this is somewhat of a big party, where lots of people are talking to lots of people, so it's easy to jump from one to another, stop talking for good, stop then start, and on and on. Add to that a general language barrier, time zone difference, some inherent uncertainty for everyone and it's easy for a straight road to lead to a cliff all of a sudden so to speak.

Hi Wade!It's funny I came across this comment from you. I emailed you several times and tried to strike a conversation but you ignored me for some reason with no comments as to why. And here you are asking why your conversations stop.  Maybe because you ignore people who are truly interested in getting to know you. JK.  Now seriously, my advice is go for it. I believe Russian women like men of action. Good luck and all the best!
Tanya

Thank you all, has definitely been insightful and have taken everything into consideration.

I think it is the right way to know each other before doing bigger steps forward. My opinion (what must not be right) is that when people are too pushy they only seek to visit a nice vacation spot.

Jezeli to jest Twoja Krolowa , to na co czekasz.

Sure. to act ... need some sort of ... I do not know the specifics as others. but I do not like to write letters. and that there is no desire or vydumavat .. there is Skype. phone - all this makes communication and brings people together. or all becomes clearer and further communication has no meaning ...

Вы очень прагматичны. Если ко всем женщинам относится с таким подходом, то лучше приезжать на их территорию или на нейтральную. Например,Москва или другой город. Когда вы знакомитесь по интернету, то многое непонятно и бояться ошибиться обе стороны.
ПОдходите к этому вопросу философски: встречаться то всеравно нужно.

Actually it is not like that supposed to be evrything must go step by step but for the most part our women will require to jump to love to marrige its our culture

О любви говорить можно, только без лицемерия, например: "Я тебя люблю очень много". Или отсутствие души:"Мне нравится как тывыглядишь на фото" (ведь человек - это не фото) Быстрее, чем 2-3 месяца этого делать не стоит. Лучше делать это коссвенно. Вопрос вот в чем: "О чем Вы с ними говорите?". Русские люди имеют широкий кругозор знаний по всем наукам, начиная с кваовния фотона, заканчивая цитологией.....Поэтому, если Вы сможете объяснить русской женщине, как исцеляет огуречный рассол от похмелья с помощью квантовой физики,то она Ваша на всю жизнь. Причем не зависимо от внешности и материального достатка. Только острый и глубокий ум с щепоткой юмора.

Я не согласна!!!! Это не о русских!!!!!

Таня!!! Ничего себе поворот у Вас получился!!!!......., этот Уэйд, кем оказался!!!! Я смотрела ваши фото, Вы - красавица!!!, а он нос воротит и здесь советы спрашивает .....и выше там высказались, что воспринимают это все, как "большая вечеринка"...

Classic quote reply:Its not important words a man says
important what he does an.
A man who is capable of deeds,
is doomed to be loved .

It's not a small endeavor to visit someone in another country, and not talking about money. The length of time between meeting on the site and becoming close varies depending on the people. But certainly I think it takes a few months to learn enough about someone to know they are the one. Letters. SMS, Skype, cards in the mail, etc all build that bond. Trying to force that too soon to me is a sign of trying to hard and the risk exists of flaming out. For me, a visit is a step once you are pretty sure there's a solid connection there and you want to know if she's the one. The whole process can take some time as well, once started regardless of whether you intend to marry in her country or get a K-visa. Right now K visas are taking about 9 months just for the initial application in the States. Definitely need to be together regularly during the process too. Every few months at least and certainly not more than 6 months break, even if communicating regularly.

There is no rules and prescriptions in love relations and nobody else will take a decision what to do. Just listen to your heart! Love is a heavenly insanity ruling with purity and sincerity of feelings.

Welcome to the party, Aaron. By the way, we never got Belgian waffles in the Army!   Air Force! Always gets the good stuff!  

Doug вы как всегда правы! Бельгийские вафли очень вкусные)))

You live in a beautiful little town. I know this place. I slept here in a nice Motel when I went to Vail. Good bless Wade!

I too appreciate frankness. But thus I do not love haste. If me has interested the Man, I need in the beginning to communicate to it here, to write each other, to communicate. If and further I feel interest, then already in Skype.
Further it would be desirable for an actual meeting. The initiative should be mutual. But the man should be all the leader. So I consider)

Hi ,Aaron )It agree, that we on a party. It agree, that it is more difficult to all of us here because of a language barrier. But also on a party it is possible to meet the love, the person. The main thing to trust and closely to look on sides)))
And as will carry!

yo he tenido varios contactos por este medio con mujeres rusas , pero me he dado cuenta
que los primeros mensajes son intensos y ellas muestran un gran interes , pero por alguna razón que no se, ellas
de un dia para otros no me escriben mas, para que no suceda eso trato de elevar los temas de los mensajes o conversaciones y así sean tan monótono o aburrido, pero parece que no lo perciben . solo con algunas he mantenido un contacto
mas regular. puede que yo no entienda el comportamiento de la mujer rusa y su cultura.