The usual idea of a relationship is 1) dating / visiting 2) staying together and making plans for the future. 3) marrying AND living together. I really wonder what made you keep a long distance relationship? It sounds as if you agreed to sponsor her. And come on! You're 47 now, you were 42 when you met her - and now you complain like some teenager who lost his virginity to some kind of evil witch. I would seriously doubt ANYONE's intention, if they kept me in a long-distance relationship for years.