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Svetlana, I feel a little odd giving you 'advice' as I am considerably younger than you. However, I am familiar with Russian and 'Western' culture. The situation you describe has two dimensions:1) culture

2) your personal situation (man - woman, etc)

What I want to comment on most is the cultural aspect as it's often omitted, mystified or misunderstood.

The Dutch are one of the most individualist nations on planet earth. Their motto "Help yourself, so help you God" shows how much they take fate into their own hands and rely on themselves in any work related situation. Finances, economics, household accountability and money matters are all subject to the idea that people should take care of themselves to the greatest extent.Whoever is more assertive wins the gains.

This sharply differs from the Russian (Orthodox) idea where the community counts and much less the individual. Family ties are stronger but individual choices, but opportunities to excel and achieve much less common.

It's understandable that it's frustrating or even frightening to you to navigate in such assertive surroundings.

As for the personal aspect, I can only say this:

You have already taken the biggest step and met in real life. You have explored the surroundings and are now digesting your first impressions. Have you ever considered what his expectations are? What are his aims of being with you and what are yours? If your ideas match, you can easily deal with the cultural aspect: become more assertive with his support, if he's ready to give it to you.

The main thing is that you are comfortable with this situation.

Good luck and many greetings to Holland   !

25.02.17

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