Andy,

I am from the USA, and using my wife’s account. That said, I think you need to be a great deal more sensitive (at least the way I read your post).  Think about what she is giving up coming to the USA and how amazingly brave that is and for you. Also, I would hope that by “no real direction except marriage” you mean that you are absolutely committed to your perspective wife and would do everything you could to see that she has opportunities here such as education, employment as well as emotional support and a great deal of TLC.  Moreover, the perspective husband should keep in mind it isn’t an insignificant change for him either.  As far as tension, the woman will of course be nervious as well as absolutely dependent upon you however, I think the tension is more often because the perspective husband didn’t consider that it is a change for him as well.  I would also go as far as the man needs to adopt her country the same way she is adopting his which opens your minds to both cultures as well as mutual understanding.  I personally have been to Russia half a dozen times and consider it a 2^nd home and am happy I did.  Furthermore, you should consider that your perspective wife may wish to maintain some professional as well as personal connections with her homeland such as a business or other work possibly.  In short, happiness is only possible if both of you fully invest and support each other.  I think it is particularly important for women to understand that simply being "married" doesn't equate to being happy which is what life is all about after all.