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I agree, Olga. Marriage is difficult, tough work, even if she lives next door and speaks the same language. Victor, coming here and seeing all the beautiful women, who want and deserve the love of their lives, can give men a false perspective of reality. Discovering an attractive, traditional woman, with better values, more understanding, more compassion, more kindness, more willingness to please and be a good wife, does not mean the normal problems go away. The typical problems are daunting enough. She is still a woman and we are still men. Any idea that she should change her entire life and accept the life of her man is ludicrously unrealistic.
Love must be primary for both; for you, love means trying to understand who she is in order to accommodate her feelings, including how she feels about all your differences, which are going to be very stressful for her. Under normal circumstances, the typical changes required by couples to adjust to each other are formidable! Does anyone feel that adding into the equation, language, change of culture, loss of friends and family, loss of career and everything familiar to her, makes things easier!? Many men wish to marry Slavic girls because it makes them feel in control. There is no rule that they must adapt to our idiosyncrasies. Slavic women already have a lot of experience in these situations; no need to go to another country to find that.
If a man falls in love with a Slavic girl, I think he must put her first. Women do not wish to be caged in the same environment with a man who claims to love her, simply because the new cage is nicer than the previous. If you want to be happy, make her happy and have a successful marriage, I have a suggestion:
First accept that most men do not have a clue about women! Begin reading lots of books about women and try to understand how they think. Anything you learn from your study will benefit you, and her, greatly. Love enough to put in the time and study. Sometimes she does not need to become a better wife; you need to become a better husband. (I do not recommend books by Muslim authors.) Although one can never really fully comprehend the enigma of a woman’s mind, the more you learn, the better chance you have. From my experience, women are similar everywhere. One thing is positive, if she is not happy, neither will you be!
If someone gave you a new Ferrari or Lamborghini, would you not do a lot of reading before you attempted to drive it? (If you did not, and wrecked it, you alone are to blame.) Would you not read everything about how it works, what to be concerned about; how to properly maintain it so it gives you a long life of happiness and driving pleasure? Let this old man tell you a secret; women are infinitely more complex and require far more maintenance than a fancy sports car, but properly understood and maintained, they can bring you far more enjoyment, happiness and fulfillment than all the sports cars in the world! This is simply my opinion, of course. Am I am expert? No, but I have a lot of experience in not ready the manuals!
Love must be primary for both; for you, love means trying to understand who she is in order to accommodate her feelings, including how she feels about all your differences, which are going to be very stressful for her. Under normal circumstances, the typical changes required by couples to adjust to each other are formidable! Does anyone feel that adding into the equation, language, change of culture, loss of friends and family, loss of career and everything familiar to her, makes things easier!? Many men wish to marry Slavic girls because it makes them feel in control. There is no rule that they must adapt to our idiosyncrasies. Slavic women already have a lot of experience in these situations; no need to go to another country to find that.
If a man falls in love with a Slavic girl, I think he must put her first. Women do not wish to be caged in the same environment with a man who claims to love her, simply because the new cage is nicer than the previous. If you want to be happy, make her happy and have a successful marriage, I have a suggestion:
First accept that most men do not have a clue about women! Begin reading lots of books about women and try to understand how they think. Anything you learn from your study will benefit you, and her, greatly. Love enough to put in the time and study. Sometimes she does not need to become a better wife; you need to become a better husband. (I do not recommend books by Muslim authors.) Although one can never really fully comprehend the enigma of a woman’s mind, the more you learn, the better chance you have. From my experience, women are similar everywhere. One thing is positive, if she is not happy, neither will you be!
If someone gave you a new Ferrari or Lamborghini, would you not do a lot of reading before you attempted to drive it? (If you did not, and wrecked it, you alone are to blame.) Would you not read everything about how it works, what to be concerned about; how to properly maintain it so it gives you a long life of happiness and driving pleasure? Let this old man tell you a secret; women are infinitely more complex and require far more maintenance than a fancy sports car, but properly understood and maintained, they can bring you far more enjoyment, happiness and fulfillment than all the sports cars in the world! This is simply my opinion, of course. Am I am expert? No, but I have a lot of experience in not ready the manuals!