If you truly love your woman, be sensitive to the changes she will face and plan for her. Try to place yourself in her position and imagine what she will be feeling, and then plan to make these changes and transitions as easy as possible.
Okay, time to spill the beans. I found someone; she is wonderful, simple, beautiful, smart and funny. I visited her in St. Petersburg and had a fabulous time. We have decided to stay together and she will be visiting here soon. She has a great dog she really loves, she is leaving behind a great career and beautiful home, she doesn't speak my language very well. She has never been to the US and God forbid if she has to go to Walmart by herself! (Walmart is like a zoo with no bars, where people go to shop!) I try to imagine how it would be for me.
Near the end of our time together, she was very honest with me; she said “Doug, I am afraid.” I said, “Of course you are afraid, but I have already been thinking of many things and will do everything to make this as easy as possible for you.” I said I realized some of her fears and was preparing for her. Women needs to be reassured that men are looking out for them. I do not intend for her to have to sit around some lonely house by herself and watch TV until I come home from work.
When she arrives in the US, I have a somewhat empty house for her! I purposely did not buy furniture, new dishes, eating utensils, pots and pans before she gets here. These are things we can go shopping for together. Nothing gets a woman’s mind off a rough situation like shopping! Besides, she should be able to buy her own things, what she wishes, and set up her new kitchen. She should have a choice in the furniture she likes, how she wants to set up HER house (That's right, you men, it is her house now!) and bedroom. She should be able to make it her home and comfortable; not have to live with some ugly furnishings you picked out for your silly man cave. Plan to have a generous budget so she can make your living space into a real home for the two of you.
When she arrives, there will be a support group for her. My mother's home is 4 miles away; she can go there during the day if she is lonely and have someone to talk to, when I am working. There is a garden there and she loves to garden and plant flowers. If she needs something, she can call. Maybe she does not go there every day, but she has a familiar place where she knows someone.
Sometimes, it is good for a younger woman to have an older lady to talk with. My family will accept and love her and my mother will treat her like her own daughter. She will drive her where she needs to go, until she gets her own driver's license. My family will be available to help when I am not there; she will become part of my family and they will give her any assistance she needs. Also, if anything would ever happen to me, she would be integrated into a loving, generous family that would surround her with love and care for her.
Plan for her to have her own cell phone. She will eventually need a car. Plan for her to get help with English, even if it is only a friend who can help. Introduce her to your friends and make her a part of your social circles. Take her to church; church people make a great support group; they are always willing to help. Make arrangements for her to have emergency numbers.
Then remember why she came to your country; to be with you. Dedicate a certain amount of time every day to her, to spend with her, watching TV, going to a movie, or just taking a romantic walk. No more running with the boys and going to the bars. Take her dancing, to concerts…she will probably be much more cultured than you. (We walked past some musicians in St. Petersburg, and she casually remarked, “Vivaldi; Four Seasons!” I shot back, “Yes, but which movement!?) Take weekend trips together.
Most of all, treat her like a queen, love her and cherish her. Everything you do for her is nothing compared to what she has given up to be with you. You must purposely do things, every single day, to build your relationship with her. (There is a book, “Men are from Mars; Women are From Venus! Get it and read it!) Also, remember she is a woman and even God does not understand everything about them, and He created them. Have tons of patience, understanding and long-suffering…. She will respond and you both will be very happy. Dedicate yourself to making her happy and she will reciprocate. Love her and she will love you.