Billy ,
Oke I believe that we are getting somewhere now.First off , I never said that John has no right , to ask her questions.
Secondly , I already said that there is a time and place for everything.
Thirdly , I Always try to keep my objectivity and rationale on situations.
Yes , I know , it is sometimes a bit difficult to think about that.
Now , I never said that his woman has done everything absolutely correct.
Nor can I say , how the conversation between them did go.
We were not there.It would have been nice , if we can hear the woman`s part of this story.
I Always try to base my judgement , on what I know , from the 2 sides.
In this situation , we only have the information what John has given us.
But is it , how it really happened ?
When I read between the lines , in his post and replies , I get a feeling , that he is a bit of demanding.
Or it is the result of a little jealousy.
Either way , these are not good signs.
Furthermore , do we know , if in first instance , she did not want to answer this question ??Because she did not want to lie to him ??
No , we don`t know that.We don`t have her side of the story.
We only have his words.Can we trust , what he is writing here ?
Is this how it really happened ??
If she didn`t answer the question at first , I am pretty sure , that John was not satisfied with that.
And he kept on nagging about it , until he got an answer or maybe 2.
I don`t have to tell you , that in a relation (it doesn`t matter what kind of relation ) , being it a friendly or a marital one.
If you keep on nagging about a certain topic , at some point , things will go boiling.And it will affect her , you or both of you.
Just as you have a right , to ask her questions , so she has a right , to not answer them !!!!!
So , then the question is , how much of a man are you , and can/will you accept it.And make the decision that you feel is the correct one , at that time.
In John`s post and replies , I really do miss the part , to what rights she has , in what he calls " their relation " .
I will repeat again , what happened in her life , long before they met with each other , is just her private life.
Sure , you can ask her about it.
But when she feels , that she is not ready to answer you , you should accept the fact.
And you can call me foolish , but I don`t believe , that John has accepted no for an answer.
As to your phrase - if you may ask questions - sure.And I never said , that you shouldn`t do that.
Like you say , you ask a question , because you want to find out something.
That is all good , and a relation cannot work without questions.
But it becomes a different matter , when you think , that when you have made a commitment to her , you are entitled , to know ALL about her past life.
Again I say , we do not know , how the conversation , the personal meeting went.We do not know , how the questions were asked.
We do not know , if the woman felt , that she should open up , completely to John.
Was the level of trust and respect high enough , to tell him all of her life ??
I cannot Judge it , because I wasn`t there.
So ,when you read my posts well , I didn`t say , that the woman is right or wrong.
I was only commenting , on what John has told us.
As for me personally thinking , well you know , miracles can happen.And I do hope that for John and the lady , all will go well.
Although I think , that meeting just 1 time , may be a bit of a risk.
But it is their life.So they should decide.
And , yes , I think that you and I can get by , even though we differ on this topic.
I see that in most part we share the same ideology.
And I do give (Western) women some credit for being strong.I know their potential.
But do you want your wife to repair the plumming while you sit on the couch watching tv ???
I know that some men do.
Eric
Oke I believe that we are getting somewhere now.First off , I never said that John has no right , to ask her questions.
Secondly , I already said that there is a time and place for everything.
Thirdly , I Always try to keep my objectivity and rationale on situations.
Yes , I know , it is sometimes a bit difficult to think about that.
Now , I never said that his woman has done everything absolutely correct.
Nor can I say , how the conversation between them did go.
We were not there.It would have been nice , if we can hear the woman`s part of this story.
I Always try to base my judgement , on what I know , from the 2 sides.
In this situation , we only have the information what John has given us.
But is it , how it really happened ?
When I read between the lines , in his post and replies , I get a feeling , that he is a bit of demanding.
Or it is the result of a little jealousy.
Either way , these are not good signs.
Furthermore , do we know , if in first instance , she did not want to answer this question ??Because she did not want to lie to him ??
No , we don`t know that.We don`t have her side of the story.
We only have his words.Can we trust , what he is writing here ?
Is this how it really happened ??
If she didn`t answer the question at first , I am pretty sure , that John was not satisfied with that.
And he kept on nagging about it , until he got an answer or maybe 2.
I don`t have to tell you , that in a relation (it doesn`t matter what kind of relation ) , being it a friendly or a marital one.
If you keep on nagging about a certain topic , at some point , things will go boiling.And it will affect her , you or both of you.
Just as you have a right , to ask her questions , so she has a right , to not answer them !!!!!
So , then the question is , how much of a man are you , and can/will you accept it.And make the decision that you feel is the correct one , at that time.
In John`s post and replies , I really do miss the part , to what rights she has , in what he calls " their relation " .
I will repeat again , what happened in her life , long before they met with each other , is just her private life.
Sure , you can ask her about it.
But when she feels , that she is not ready to answer you , you should accept the fact.
And you can call me foolish , but I don`t believe , that John has accepted no for an answer.
As to your phrase - if you may ask questions - sure.And I never said , that you shouldn`t do that.
Like you say , you ask a question , because you want to find out something.
That is all good , and a relation cannot work without questions.
But it becomes a different matter , when you think , that when you have made a commitment to her , you are entitled , to know ALL about her past life.
Again I say , we do not know , how the conversation , the personal meeting went.We do not know , how the questions were asked.
We do not know , if the woman felt , that she should open up , completely to John.
Was the level of trust and respect high enough , to tell him all of her life ??
I cannot Judge it , because I wasn`t there.
So ,when you read my posts well , I didn`t say , that the woman is right or wrong.
I was only commenting , on what John has told us.
As for me personally thinking , well you know , miracles can happen.And I do hope that for John and the lady , all will go well.
Although I think , that meeting just 1 time , may be a bit of a risk.
But it is their life.So they should decide.
And , yes , I think that you and I can get by , even though we differ on this topic.
I see that in most part we share the same ideology.
And I do give (Western) women some credit for being strong.I know their potential.
But do you want your wife to repair the plumming while you sit on the couch watching tv ???
I know that some men do.
Eric