Yes that was the gist of the post...

And as for your position, that was my initial position as well. What somebody wants to do with their appearance is their own choice and at my core i still hold that position, nobody can tell another what to do but as I step back and remove the emotion from the charged question of can you tell somebody that you'd like for them to change something about themselves I start to question why you can't even bring up the conversation...You've taken the question to the absurdest extreme and sure if somebody is asking you to do things that are ridiculous like removing ribs, ones common sense should apply as to if they want to be with somebody who would ask such ridiculous things of them but we all take advice from loved ones every day, people try to guide us towards what they view as positive changes for us all the time, why does this have to be any different? We are the ones who have to live with any physical changes we make to ourselves but our partners also have to live with those changes, a partner is asked to love you, be romantic towards you, be intimate with you, yet they can't tell the person they want to spend their life with that they don't like something about their appearance...and they have to accept any changes they make without giving any input?...why? I told an ex girlfriend in the past, when she was contemplating a short hair cut that I did not think it would look good on her, and that in general I did not like that on girls...she went ahead and did it, it didn't look good in my opinion, her body her choice...she thought it was cute, she was the one who had to live with it but I also had to live with it and I had lost a lot of interest in her. Call it shallow if you want but you can't force attraction. I stopped doing the little things she loved, I wasn't as affectionate cause I simply didn't feel it as much, it wasn't on purpose it just happens and she grew frustrated over that and that just festered and we were soon over. Most people would not bat an eye about my saying to her, I don't like your short hair cut, I think you should grow it long again...most people wouldn't bat an eye over a wife telling her husband you're fat, lose weight...but your teeth are crooked you should get invasalign and you're a monster? I think the big sticking point here is that he's tied the rest of his life to the idea that she makes this change and I don't like that part either but I think real couples who are going to make it thru real hard times should be able to have real conversations like this.