I agree to that, too. Merely "settling" for someone you don't fully appreciate is not enough. It takes time for that feeling to develop - "love at first sight" is a myth! And sometimes this person will not be the one you expect, so you have to keep an open mind. Sometimes, communication failures can separate two people who are meant to be together, so you shouldn't put in half effort either if you have even the slightest interest. I had a communication breakdown with a person I later adored, but it was fixed because both of us were willing to put in effort for a stranger. I struggle with this too, but stay optimistic even if it feels like you're wasting your time, but be willing to step up when the time comes.