Is it normal to have difficulty finding someone?

Could the makers of the site compile some statistics or something? I am having a bit of difficulty, and I'm wondering what's normal. I only get responses to about 10% of the messages that I send. Usually they are just generic, like saying "Hello I read your profile and I'd like to get to know you better". Usually the message is a little longer than that, but that's basically what it means. Is that a bad way to start the conversation? I get such a low reply rate that I sometimes try a lot of different things (like maybe trying to tease the woman, or making a joke or something), or spam the same message to a dozen different women. Actually, most of the women who have talked to me sent me a wink first. Hardly any woman that I messaged first wanted to talk to me. Why do men have to do all the approaching if women decide for themselves who they want to talk to? And I can't find any pattern to the messages that women reply to. It is as if she decides for herself by reading my profile or something if she likes me, and it doesn't make a damn bit of difference what I actually say to her.