Men & women
Life goes on . . .
So many different men and women and we don't find our happiness. Why ?
Yes, it's true. Sad reality. But the human being continues to search tirelessly. By believing in this virtuality. But the years go by so quickly...
Many people prefer to live in illusions, as to face reality even about themselves can be too painful. But if not being ready to know truth about your own how can be ready to accept someone else?
Galina
Hello Stephan .
First of all, I want to say that many people find each other here ... If you noticed, the forum has a lot of married women who have already met their happiness.
But the reality is that there are also many who cannot find their beloved... I also sometimes think about this “why.”
Maybe , because the desire to meet your partner is "false"... So , I’m like, “I want”, but I don’t want to do anything for this, I’m not going to put up with the shortcomings and lacks of potential partners, because I want only the perfect partner.
I have one longtime old comrade who is already over 60 years old, and he, too, has been searching for many years his woman in vain. Once he asked me to help him with this... We made profiles for him on a few sites. Letters began to come to him from women whose age was about 50 years... But no...! give him a young one, from 30 to 40, so that she must be slim, blonde, and preferably also without children...! After a while, he already agreed that if the young beautiful blonde has a child, then he is ready marrying her and picking up with the child.
Now I’ll write a little about this man in question: the age indicated above , overweight , smokes a lot, so that not every woman who smokes can stand next to him from endless tobacco smoke...!!!!! Further .... character : stubborn, sometimes even quick-tempered... Now let's take the financial component: not poor, our own apartment, pension, and income from renting premises, a car - an old Mercedes that is already 36 years old ...
Once, after long time being in conversation on the site a girl from Moscow agreed to come to him , and he bought tickets for her ) According to him, she is an English teacher at a private school with a salary of $ 1000, has a child, almost a blonde, almost young as he wanted )))). I asked him: if she likes you really and will ready to live with you, what are you ready to give her in return, so that she feels comfortable here with her child, and doesn’t work ? (the man does not want his future wife to work, besides this, she will not be able to work the first time) Are you ready to monthly compensate for the salary she receives in Moscow ??? To this he answered me nervously: "I am not a bank !!!"
That is, the conclusion follows from the example of my comrade: people are lonely because they are not ready to match their partner. In this situation, man , who is over 60 !!! , with decently overweight, a lot of smokers, far from an angelic character, but in general - as a good person, looking for a young blonde, 25-30 years younger than his ....
What do you think ? Does this man have big chances? I think he has, but very miserly.
But the most interesting thing is this: for several months now almost every day several times he has published on his page on a social network the announcement as follows: “I want to get married. I want to love. Where are you? What sensitive sweet woman wants to marry me? And live together. Beauty is needed only for acquaintance, and for life you need a man. "
Once again, I advised him: "Dear comrade, look for a HUMAN , but not age, beauty and hair color....)"
Today's life forces us to work to support ourselves. No matter what it is. We have certain hobbies. Our occupations. Do we still have time to spend time for someone? Time to love him. To take care of another. When we already have enough time to take care of ourselves. Which we all did to fill this empty time. And we are afraid of wasting this time. Fear of trusting. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of pain in the heart. We do not want. Or we don't want to suffer anymore. because life does not make gifts. No pity
Yes Galina it is possible to love someone. You can believe me. But the person I loved. I suffered a lot. . . a lot
But when we find someone. An example . After years of living together. a divorce. a separation. why this gratuitous wickedness. to put the man in financial problems. ? Only for fun. ? The man and the woman are 50/50. And not another percentage.
Hello Tatyana,
I understand very well. I'm not talking about character. smokers or not etc. So if the man cannot assume financially. Isn't he allowed to have love? I wrote here above. In today's life it is necessary to work in pairs. Otherwise it is not possible. Men who make a very good living. They don't waste time on dating sites. They have other things to do.
No it is not mine. It's in an animal shelter. I know the owner very well.
Богатые богатеют вместе, бедные беднеют в одиночку, ну вот и логический вывод нарисовался, и никакой философии не надо.
Okay for the poor. But I personally know poor women who have met rich men. I do not know a rich woman who seeks poor men.
A man who cannot afford to provide a woman financially - this man can also love and be loved... But you may to understand... The perception of love by an 18 year old's girl is very different from the perception of love by a 30 year old woman.... I will give an example from a personal example: about 10 years ago I loved a man who could not afford to provide me financially .... could not, or he did not work enough for this...
Yes, it was fun, cool, comfortable and romantic with him, as if I was 18 years old, although I was already under 30 then, but this "condition of love" was not enough for me at my age , already... With all my deepest love for him, I left him after 2 years of relationship. Because it did not correspond to my main priority, which formed over time with me when choosing a partner for life: my man should provide me financially, and only one love as a foundation is not enough for me...( Having worked in the office from sunrise to sunset, I realized that I did not want to work, I want to do myself, my favorite things, hobbies, home, husband. I want to meet my husband from work in a good mood, and not tired and squeezed after work like a lemon. This does not mean that I am lazy. I will be happy to work if my husband, for example, opens a small shop selling coffee and chocolate for me to make me more happy than I am now...) But you should understand: this work will be like a hobby for me, for the soul, where I am my own.
If you read the forum, you will understand that not all women are like me... Many are willing and wanting to work in a new country after they get married. Therefore, I believe: who seeks- will finds. But everything needs to be discussed , and if there is true love, then compromises will be found by themselves in 70% of cases.
I didn’t just give an example about my friend... With this example, I wanted to say that you need to match the partner, as well as really weigh your capabilities and desires. If it is hard for you to financially provide a future wife or bride, then it is better to look for love among your compatrios , woman from your country. You should understand , that bringing a foreign bride is even more expensive than looking among your own. In addition, do you realize that self-respecting woman will run from the plane's trap upon arrival to work in your country ? She needs to be taught, she needs help, she needs to be given financial support , 1st... In your profile, you indicated the income level as "good." I suppose that then no difficulties should arise at all if there is a sincere desire to bring a foreign bride.
With respect , Tanya.
I understand you perfectly. Human beings are like that. power hungry. See ever higher. Higher than you can imagine. Do not show weakness. belittle your partner.
It is easier to do evil than good. It's easier to say I don't want to. I do not want . What to say, Come into my arms. Come hug me because I want to.
To me you demean people by saying this. You wrote ... If it is hard for you to financially provide a future wife or bride, then it is better to look for love among your compatriots, woman from your country ...
Again ... it's money. Money has a lot of power.
Почему то мне в последнее время приходит мысль, что то о чем вы пишите
В некоторой степени а иногда и становится обратной стороной медали.
Человек самодостаточен, счастлив, или более или менее удовлетворен тем что он и как он сейчас. От сюда комфорт, привычка и пр...
И вот так из месяца в месяц, из года в год.
И ему становится может быть сложнее, или все меньше желания, доля пассивности, возможно даже эгоизм, или еще что то... Что бы начать менять свое положение одиночки, найти партнера для жизни и создавать семью
Может быть это какая то функция в нас притупляется?
Galina
Развод ,уход из семьи любимого человека - это всегда больно и неприятно . Но нельзя зацикливаться на этом , нельзя идти в новые отношения , принося в них боль от предыдущих . Потому , что все люди разные . С одним вышло так , с другим будет иначе . Хотя , по моим наблюдениям , люди склонны выбирать определённый тип партнёра и не могут уйти от клише
Zoya
Закон рынка: спрос и предложение
Автор темы хочет найти женщину, которая приедет к нему с деньгами и сделает счастливым. А нужно ли это женщине?
Эта женщина тоже имеет право выбирать, кто лучше для нее и кто сделает ее счастливым.
У нас есть опыт, который не позволяет прыгать в первый пришедший поезд, но это не означает, что мы безнадежны
I agree with you Galina. Each person is different. With one we lose something. With the other we have something else. That we didn't have. Etc ...
You must know how to forget the past. Its not always easy. Especially when we really loved the other.
"Автор темы хочет найти женщину, которая приедет к нему с деньгами и сделает счастливым. А нужно ли это женщине?"...
Нет , Зоя , он так не говорит ...он хотел бы отношения в этой сфере 50_50 , чтобы каждый из супругов работал , и задаёт вопрос : может ли мужчина быть любим если он финансово не обеспечивает женщину ? Да , может . Теоретически и практически . Привела ему пример из личных отношений . Но эти отношения для некоторых людей ведут "в никуда " . Потому что в 30 лет многим уже не достаточно "просто любить " , как 18 лет . Появляется второстепенный вопрос : "как" любить ....
Как-то я слышала за одну книгу , тема которой "5 языков любви" ....вот в ней описывает автор разные способы проявления любви , один из которых финансовая забота мужчины о его женщине . Надо будет найти почитать .
a man or woman should ask himself the question: does the opposite sex have enough positive qualities to accept you into your life?
Нн-да
А я прочитала. Что нас много и мужчин и женщин. Но мы почему то не находим друг друга. Вот и спрашивает почему так?
Но вас я Зоя хорошо поняла, о чем вы.
Вот в продолжении своей мысли. Еще я сейчас вспомнила. У меня есть хороший знакомый. Что то ему уже после 55 лет.
Мужчина не глупый, интересный, себя держит в форме. Руководящая должность. Активный очень. Своим подчинённым помогал от их организации жилье получать. Ну в общем много какой активной деятельностью занимался. Как то после того как мы долго не виделись. Я встретила его случайно. Возраст, одиночество такое в глазах, грустно смотреть.
И вот он мне сказал, что он человек который никогда не был женат. Таки поехал к женщине в Москву, поселился с ней... Пожил 4-5 месяца с ней семьей и сбежал. Обратно к себе домой. И сам же подвёл итог: что никогда он не жил с женщиной вместе, поэтому это для него оказалось очень сложным и уже трудно преодолимым.
That happens also but more rare logically. But rich woman who can buy herself security, comfort and whatever she may need sure will prefer much younger, atheltic, sweet guys for some short term occasions, than to keep near someone,for example, snoring, smoking, drinking the same age man with bad temper.
Zoya
В первом сообщении он именно так и пишет, но вопрос денег для него очень болезненный.
Я зашла на страницу автора и меня удивил уровень ответов 10%.
Я вот, например, очень не люблю, когда человек говорит одно, а делает другое. Что мы видим? Он не отвечает на 90% сообщений. Я понимаю, что человек может выбирать, но какой-то он уж очень разборчивый.
ha ha ha. I do not smoke. I drink occasionally. I snore sometimes. I don't have a bad temper. But I'm not a disposable handkerchief ...
Zoya,
I am not uncomfortable with money. I would like a woman to love me for me. But don't love me for my money. This is what I want. There is the difference. And regarding my rate of 10%. I don't want to answer everyone. as women respond to whomever they want. me too. You shouldn't just judge me with that. you think what you want from me. But you don't know me at all. Do not worry. I'm not in a bad mood ...
Ну что тут ещё скажешь 🤷♀️ Разве что «под лежачий камень и вода не течёт»
Не больно то и хочет наверное отношений. Хотел бы и надо было -делал бы и шёл к своей цели.
Zoya
I have absolutely nothing against you. We are just talking. But if desired. I also wish you good luck. Thank you Zoya . . .
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