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Doug, 68 y.o.

United States

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Less than 2 weeks ago, I joined your club.

Less than 2 weeks ago, I joined your club. Everyone is kind; even dear Tomasso has been kind and friendly. I’ve met many pleasant, bright and beautiful women. I use the forums for the same reasons one would go to a party: to meet others, to see how they think, to gain exposure and interact with others on the road to finding a life partner; at least for the short time some believe I may have left.  



At a party, I tend to talk more than most, laugh and have fun. Nothing is different here. Should be no surprise that some men write long messages so ladies can evaluate how he may think. That doesn’t always mean we believe we are the center of the universe. That is simply a method of reaching out, and sometimes that is awkward. What did you expect?

At a party, I don’t talk serious relationships with womam; I try to be friendly and polite. How could I possibly know if a girl is someone I may wish to spend the rest of my life with? That takes time, and certainly so in a guarded, careful, on-line situation where even little misunderstandings quickly end further exploration.

Are you such a good psychologist as you believe? Ladies, you know nothing more about a man after several short letters than you do after 5 minutes at a party. Only advantage; at a party you can tell he wears ugly suits, and that is correctable. Are you annoyed then, a man would write a long letter? Is he conceited when he tries to share an honest and fair understanding? Do you imagine more negative qualities in his first letters than what exist? Some make judgments based only an immediate perceived dislike; a decision even a professional psychologist would never make.

My son traveled on a national show tour with a group of young people. One particular girl and he did not mix well at all. She said, Karl, I don’t like you! He snapped back, I don’t like you, either! Funny how they’re now happily married, living in Kentucky, very much in love. Sometimes people don’t give themselves a proper chance.

This is simply my perspective,(but what do I know?) Many decisions appear to be made quickly and without good reason. Considering all that can go badly in a real-life situation; I’m amazed anyone ever falls in love with all the complications (e.g., language, culture, age, female vs. male thinking, distance, etc.) related to on-line. I would never even judge Tomasso harshly based on our short conversations here. How can some ladies quickly discard a potential soul mate based on such little knowledge?

If a woman is attractive, I don’t care if she is agnostic and I am a believer; as you learn about each other, people change. No one knows who I am simply because I am a believer. Even the definition in our 2 cultures is completely different. Besides, we change each other through interaction, and thus grow. Those who don’t, spend years on sites like this in a cycle that never improves. I don't foresee that for myself.

I’ve observed much regarding men’s looks, age, and many other issues. Girls, not every man is Tom Cruise. (Some of us are better!   ) The truth is, you wouldn’t want Tom Cruise; none of his wives liked him, either! You simply think he is handsome. By the way, Katie Holmes was far younger and didn't leave him because of his age, she left because he was what we call a jerk!

My reason to be here; American women are spoiled, especially by your standards. Many have totally unrealistic and unreasonable expectations; no man can make them happy. Why many divorces; easier for men to have the milk without having to own the cow. (I don’t allow myself the option of buying milk.)

Don’t short-change yourselves; give yourselves and the men a fair opportunity. Many men fail here because they arrogantly believe they can pick and choose from a never-ending parade of attractive women, and discard countless wonderful possibilities. They are shocked to discover Russian women are not nearly as desperate as they first believed. They then get frustrated, blame the women, saying they lie, are fat, one green eye and one blue, blah, blah, blah, when the problem is themselves and poor decisions. Don’t you ladies make the same bad decisions. Keep it realistic and don’t cut yourselves short. Many good men here. The youth of a beautiful woman may fade with age, but never in the eyes of a man who chose you for the right reasons. Choose him for the right reason, but take time to discover it.

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Alla, 53 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Tommaso on View the commented comment

Я читала вашу анкету. Мы пришли на этот сайт найти любимого и единственного человека, за которого хотим выйти замуж. А вам нужна не жена, а подруга. Поэтому большинство женщин вам никогда не ответит симпатией.

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Vera, 61 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Irina on View the commented comment

согласна с Вами.. как за 2-3 письма можно узнать человека?! не понимаю.. конечно же нужен диалог.. и реальная встреча


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Marina

Reply to Alla on View the commented comment

Томмасо ЧЕСТЕН. Это вызывает УВАЖЕНИЕ. А есть другие мужчины которые просто КРАСИВО ГОВОРЯТ И ЛГУТ . Н-р вряд ли мужчина за 55 лет , который красиво "заливает" будет выбирать из женщин за 40, ему женщину нужно до 35 лет  )

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Doug, 68 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Steven on View the commented comment

Yes, girls, throw us a bone! How did that translate, Steve! ))))))

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Doug, 68 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Steven on View the commented comment

Steve, do you know the joke about building the highway to Hawaii? ))) So, would that be a 2-lane or a 4-lane! Glad you're here, Steve!

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Doug, 68 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Nadezhda on View the commented comment

Nadezhda, you are absolutely correct! Almost impossible to un-train a 50-year old man, not unless he is truly desperate to improve and then he may require medication! He does not even have a clue what he does that is improper. He probably wants someone to pick up his socks and underwear! Good that you realize this but perhaps you have taken on an un-completable project. ))))) You have nerves of steel!

You saw my post about what someone told me about the three things men want. I think that is reasonable to Russian women, but understand in America, most women would ask me if I had lost my mind! ))))

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Doug, 68 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Tommaso on View the commented comment

Tomasso, your comment to Nadezhda didn't translate very nicely!  

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Doug, 68 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Tatyana on View the commented comment

Tenderness comes as a result of surviving great suffering and hardship, and not becoming bitter, Tanya. Often a terrible price is paid by those who become tender; often, a bitter price is then again paid because one is tender. One cannot fake tenderness; she knows. Man should give his woman everything; but especially tenderness. This is why I roll my eyes at the girls who wait for the athlete. Good musicians can never be great unless they have suffered. Surviving hardship make us better people, if we do not become bitter. Do you like my little gems of wisdom!!? ))))

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Doug, 68 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Olga on View the commented comment

One thing I will say about you Olga; you are authentic.

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Doug, 68 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Nadezhda on View the commented comment

Because he has been doing it for too long. Takes years for a woman to train a man; she probably doesn't have that much time!

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Nadezhda, 71 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Doug on View the commented comment

К сожалению, вы с Татьяной не поймете друг друга. Вы по разному воспринимаете мир.Дело не в менталитете,а в характере. У Стив есть интересные мысли и правильные установки на жизнь,но многие женщины его не слышат и не хотят понять


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Tatyana

Reply to Nadezhda on View the commented comment

Вы - эксперт? Вы можете решать за других? У вас есть на это лицензия?.. Что такого вы увидели в моем характере, что позволило делать вам такие выводы? Просветите общественность.

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Tommaso, 67 y.o.

Spain, Santa Cruz de Tenerife

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Reply to Irina on View the commented comment

Cosa vuol dire? Un uomo e una donna non sono una famiglia, sono una coppia

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Tommaso, 67 y.o.

Spain, Santa Cruz de Tenerife

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Reply to Marina on View the commented comment

Io ne cerco una dai 40 ai 50. Obiezioni? Se quella di 35 mi vuole assolutamente, posso accettare! E' sempre una donna, non una bambina!

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Tommaso, 67 y.o.

Spain, Santa Cruz de Tenerife

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Reply to Doug on View the commented comment

I wrote to N. a simple 50-60 couple is not a family!

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Tommaso, 67 y.o.

Spain, Santa Cruz de Tenerife

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Reply to Tatyana on View the commented comment

Sì sono un esperto. Qualcosa in contrario? Ti riferisci a me?


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Tatyana

Reply to Nadezhda on View the commented comment

Должна вам сказать, что я по характеру своему - сангвиник.

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Nadezhda, 71 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Tatyana on View the commented comment

Ваш ответ мне просветил общественность..


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Tatyana

Reply to Nadezhda on View the commented comment

Мой ответ вам это мое утверждение по поводу психотипа моей личности. А вот почему вы решили, что мой характер не позволит мне понять другого человека? " Вы по разному воспринимаете мир.Дело не в менталитете,а в характере." - вы написали эту фразу. Объясните нам, что вы хотели сказать.


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Tatyana

Reply to Tommaso on View the commented comment

Дорогой Томмасо, я отвечала Надежде и совсем не имела в виду вас. Не принимайте все сразу в свой адрес, пожалуйста!

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Steven, 55 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Doug on View the commented comment

Actually it translates accurately by the words. But it still would not explain what it really means. Similar to "Do not hang macaroni on my ears".

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Steven, 55 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Tatyana on View the commented comment

Maybe not my place to comment, but I did not take the statement about perceiving the world differently to be a criticism for either person.

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Doug, 68 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Tommaso on View the commented comment

Tommaso. Tatyana wasn't refering to you. She and Nadezhda are discussing the personal interactivity potential and capabilities associated with individual social interaction, as relating to specific perceived predefined scientifically-assigned personality traits, temperament, disposition and psychological make-up. The action word is perceived. That is all so confusing and such a big mystery to me. I do not rely on horoscopes, either. Tatyana, probably more a melancholic, but this has never been proven about me.  

(Let us see how the auto-translator does with that one! Don’t feel badly, 90% of Americans wouldn’t understand what I just wrote, either, but would think it sounds cool!)

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Doug, 68 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Steven on View the commented comment

So, exactly as it translates in English!! Glad you are here, Steve. You have excellent input!

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Tommaso, 67 y.o.

Spain, Santa Cruz de Tenerife

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Reply to Doug on View the commented comment

Perhaps Yes, because every time they kiss her, she becomes pregnant  ))))


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Irina

Reply to Tatyana on View the commented comment

Девочки! Будьте друг к другу терпимей))))

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Doug, 68 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Doug on View the commented comment

Must leave. Have some work to do and my 78-year old mother keeps calling me from the computer store and asking questions about computers. "Mom! They ALL use a mouse!"


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Olga

Reply to Nadezhda on View the commented comment

Как то вспомнилось сразу, Надежда: "Хорошая жена, хороший дом — что ещё надо человеку, чтобы встретить старость?!"


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Olga

Reply to Doug on View the commented comment

Thanks for the kind words

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Tommaso, 67 y.o.

Spain, Santa Cruz de Tenerife

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Reply to Olga on View the commented comment

Oh my god, the best way to destroy your life!  ))))

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