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André Luiz, 33 y.o.

Brazil

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Who should pay on a date between a man and a woman

One of the questions on a date between a man and a woman is the cost involved and who of them should pay for that.
It is more common only the guy to pay the expense. Some people think it is his obligation. But there are sevelral opinions about that attitude, since gentle behavior or courtesy until chauvinism or arrogance. Then, which is your opinion?


On the other hand, due to the increased employment of women lately and other reasons, occurrences involving the woman in the payment on a date are becoming more common. For example, in a dinner, the only payer is the lady or they split the bill (each one pays half of the total, or the value paid by each part is according to the respective income, or they utilize any other criteria). Also, there are other possibilities, such as each one pays for the own individual consume, or one pay on a date and another for next round, and so on.


With so many options, the couple may have disagreement in relation to who should pay the bill on a date. And the position of each one may be changed when the date is casual or someone of them was invited before.
Considering that and the cases cited, what do you think about such situations and, in your opinion, should who pay on a date? What would you propose or do at the moment of payment? What if the partner refuses? And if persists in proposal different of yours?
Those behaviors may be interpreted in distinct ways personally. Some people believe that those differents behaviors of people of both genders depends on beauty, age, interest, financial income, and other things associated with the partner. What is your opinion related to that?
Another fact is that the costs may worry anyone and cause embarassment. For example, when someone forgets to bring anything for to pay, or a local very expensive for the date was not expected, or a person responsible for the payment does not have enough at the moment. In that occasion, would you offer or require the payment for your partner, or ask for help, or borrow, or something else? What do you think about occasions like those?
Comment about the issue approached on this topic, how you would act in each case and your opinion of what your partner should do on a date with you. You can tell experiences similar to the situations described on this post.

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Irina, 64 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Irina on View the commented comment

"Myth, that women need only money, came up with men who have no money," - says the inscription under the photo of a man with the pockets of his trousers tucked out ...

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Irina, 64 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Billy on View the commented comment

Платят ли американцы за девушку в кафе?

Да, платят. Опросы, проведенные социологами в США показывают, что большинство женщин ожидают, что за них заплатят в кафе или ресторане, несмотря на всеобщее мнение, что в Америке правят феминистические настроения. А большинство американских мужчин считают, что они должны заплатить за девушку.


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Billy

Reply to Anastasia on View the commented comment

Are you being serious or are you joking because I don't know of any filter?


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Billy

Reply to Irina on View the commented comment

and here I thought we were getting along so well  

I don't have conversations about money on a day to day basis with women, this thread was about money and I commented so you can't use this as fair assessment of how I treat anybody on a day to day basis. If we were going to make assumptions about people based on targeted posts, we could make some ugly assumptions about everybody.

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Anastasia, 35 y.o.

Belarus

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Reply to Billy on View the commented comment

No jokes.
It`s possible to send you a present or to wink, but if to try to write you or to send the greeting card - your page says "window.location.href='/social/' "
You are guarded by a dragon 

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Irina, 64 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Billy on View the commented comment


Do not take offense at me, Billy, you just too seriously adjusted this topic, so I decided a little bit to change the leitmotif of this post, adding a bit of jocular notes ...
Thank you for your comments to me and good luck to you! 


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Billy

Reply to Anastasia on View the commented comment

You know what my mistake Anastasia, I do recall now that when I signed up I did tick the box saying I wanted a dragon patrolling my inbox. It seemed a cool option for an extra dollar per month  


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Billy

Reply to Irina on View the commented comment

We know the rules to the game in Canada and the US. We pay, we always have always will. I've said it at least 10 times that I always pay and I don't question it, I know I'm paying...we live in the land of opportunistic feminism up here...every girl is a feminist while it serves her purpose...can you make me a sandwich no i'm a feminist... oh here feminist here's your half of the bill, that's insulting I'm a girl lol


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Billy

Reply to Irina on View the commented comment

I take no offense   I'm just competitive by nature so anytime I'm engaged in anything from a board game to a conversation it's hard for me to disengage until I win lol. I accept it's a problem at times but that dogged determination to win has served me well in life more than it's hurt me.

And of course good luck to you as well!

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Anastasia, 35 y.o.

Belarus

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Reply to Billy on View the commented comment

hahaha
So is it possible to write you NOW or is your dragon still there? 

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Irina, 64 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Billy on View the commented comment

Отличное качество для любого из нас, особенно для мужчин, потому что мы, женщины, любим не героев, а победителей... 

Excellent quality for any of us, especially for men, because we, women, love not heroes, but winners... 

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Irina, 64 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Billy on View the commented comment

Наверное, быть феминисткой намного проще на земле оппортунистического феминизма, чем быть просто женщиной, которая владеет тысячами своих секретов и тайн.

Perhaps,to be a feminist a lot easier on the ground of opportunistic feminism than to simply be a woman who owns thousands of their secrets and mysteries. 


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Nadezhda


Неужели все так плохо с феминистками на западе ? Сделать бутерброд для любимого мужчины - удар по женской гордости ? Может быть очень молодое поколение девушек может сделать подобное заявление ?
Билли , это случай их Вашей реальной жизни или Вы просто привели пример ?
Честно , мне кажется , что так думать и поступать может женщина с не очень здоровой психикой и феминизм тут не причем.


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Billy

Reply to Nadezhda on View the commented comment

Not all the feminists here are that bad but you do have way too many who are that bad. It is becoming toxic to be a man in the west. We are walking on egg shells more and more, you never know when an innocuous comment may land you in trouble (for example, I had legal tell me for the safety of women I had to make it policy company wide that it was not okay to tell a woman in the office she looks nice today, that constitutes harassment). God help you if you try to have sex with someone you haven't know forever and trust completely, you almost need a signed notarized consent document to safeguard yourself lol. I worry about having a son here one day with how neutered society tries to make the men here. I appreciate the original real feminists, those women were heroes, they fought real oppression and the goal was equality, I appreciate todays feminists who still have those goals in mind but too many of the modern feminists have forgotten the end goal and have started to think of men as the enemy instead of the partner in this journey. They don't want to be equal with men they want men to disappear it seems lol. I joked about the making me a sandwich as that is a common joke made here but I haven't met a girl who could cook in years, like really cook, a few who could warm things up in the microwave but to make a meal is almost unheard of among the women my friends, male colleagues and I have met, we all have similar stories. Many of the women felt it was beneath them to cook anything, they weren't housewives in the 60s, that is something that their moms had to do but they're evolved and strong now so they don't need to do those things. I'm painting an ugly picture, there are still amazing women here who haven't jumped the shark but feminine women are on the decline and emasculated men are on the rise, it's not a great trend.


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Galina

Reply to Billy on View the commented comment

Я против перегибов феминисток )) Я люблю мужчин и не хочу их кастрации и полного унижения и уничтожения . Извините , что влезла в разговор .


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Billy

Reply to Galina on View the commented comment

I am happy to hear your opinion anytime Galina, and not just when it agrees with me   tho you're usually on the right side when you do agree with me lol


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Marina


Better to negotiate place and “who pay” before the date and after share the bill.


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Ben

Reply to Natalia on View the commented comment

A Western man whose brain is intact wants a responsible and reasonable spouse without any 'traditional' (antiquated stone age) views that try to enforce 'social' roles and behaviour. If this kind of responsibility and sharing tasks (yes, also financial matters!) is too much and too demanding, then steer clear of the modern, progressive world and stick to the outdated, chauvinist swamp, some people call "traditional and moral society". You get plenty of machos there who gladly control their women, also and especially financially.
Have a great day…!

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Olga, 47 y.o.

Azerbaijan

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Reply to Ben on View the commented comment

нравственность всегда будет актуальна. и к счастью многие западные мужчины также придерживаются моральных принципов и нравственности. а такие недостатки как шовинизм, деспотизм и контролирование женщины ( в том числе с помощью денег) происходят в разных странах. нет особого места на карте мира где все люди идеальны и не имеют недостатков  

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Natalia, 52 y.o.

Belarus

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Reply to Ben on View the commented comment

К моему сожалению я не получила ответ на мой вопрос: почему прогрессивные западные мужчины боятся прогрессивных женщин и ищут партнеров в болоте.
Возможно это связано с переводом. Я не владею английским.
Желаю вам Бен найти соответствующую вам женщину, несмотря на каменный век и языческо-дедовские традиции.
Мне кажется у вас другая цель здесь. Тем не менее.
Have a great day!


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Ben

Reply to Olga on View the commented comment

I completely agree with you. However, there is a huge difference between genuine morality and this ridiculous ascribed morality of "a real man must … blablabla" - precisely the women who call for a real man, invite the wolf to the hen house. A real man is responsible, fair and lets others make choices without the need to control, but that requires confidence, trust and good will. Trying to force others what to do because of some kind of 'tradition' undermines the necessary trust.
Sadly there are many backward people who think "man must pay because he is man" and "woman must do housework because she is woman" - the inbreeding of false values.


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Natalja

Reply to Ben on View the commented comment

Жрицы любви тоже считают, что мужчина «должен» заплатить , если хочет что-то получить. Есть и другие мнения, например, :мужчина хочет сделать приятное и расположить к себе даму. Интернет используется для продвижения разных индей и услуг. А всю работу по дому ни одна женщина не захочет взять на себя только потому что она Женщина, если она финансово независима.

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Natalia, 52 y.o.

Belarus

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Reply to Ben on View the commented comment

Настоящий мужчина тот, кому не нужно напоминать что он должен. Тогда и в блабла нет необходимости. Есть уважение и мир в отношениях. По моему мнению.


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Ben

Reply to Natalja on View the commented comment

Prostitution??
Services??
Hello?! Can you get a grip?
This is more than absurd…
We are talking about DATING and RELATIONSHIPS.
Prostitution… my sock! Really  
Please read, think AND understand before you type a reply.


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Natalja

Reply to Ben on View the commented comment

Мое мнение:мне мужчины ничего не должны, я им тоже ничего не должна. Общение и внимание для взаимного удовольствия. У проституток иной подход:мужчина должен заплатить, чтобы получить приятное . Может так понятнее?


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Ben

Reply to Natalja on View the commented comment

That's better   MUCH better    


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Daria


Это, безусловно, не обязанность мужчины. Более того, когда я собираюсь на свидание, я всегда готова заплатить пополам счет за ужин. Я иду на свидание, чтобы пообщаться и узнать человека, а не чтобы бесплатно развлечься. И возможность заплатить за себя придает уверенности. Другое дело, что это приятно, когда мужчина заплатит за двоих. Пойми правильно. Дело не в том, что я сохраню свои деньги. Это скорее традиционное проявление заботы, такой пунктик на начальном этапе отношений, что ты можешь, хочешь и будешь заботиться о девушке. Не знаю, как понятней объяснить.

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Andy, 47 y.o.

Spain

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I readed your comments and what a joke! You invite you pay, i even pay when i invite my friends to go for drink! If you asking this question, maybe is better not to go out with this girl, if you really like the girl you want to impress her, for sure, make her feel very special, different story when you are after quick one, then you maybe trying to save some pennies, and actually even then you should pay.


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Nola


you have many many words .. but the answer is always the one - you must be a gentleman even if sometimes that is very hard for you   .. otherwise you will never meet a woman for a long time)) everything is very very simple and invented a long time ago .. so it goes  

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