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Gentlemen's club

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Barbaros, 28 y.o.

Turkey

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What does “I seek sponsoring” mean here?

Not exactly sure what this means. Does it mean “I can’t pay for travelling expenses”? But there is a question for that in Main Info section.

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Ekaterina, 51 y.o.

Russia

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in my opinion, it means to be fully or partially supported by another person.

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Barbaros, 28 y.o.

Turkey

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Reply to Ekaterina on View the commented comment

I think its a mans duty to provide for his wife, but this is assuming theyre married or live together.

Does this option mean women expect to be provided for before even meeting?

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Ekaterina, 51 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Barbaros on View the commented comment

There are women who deliberately deceive money during correspondence. They are easy to recognize. They immediately begin to talk about love, about family, about joint children. Most often, they immediately ask for money for the journey, for paperwork, visas. There are probably more sophisticated methods, I don't know about them. But there are couples in which both the man and the woman have a positive attitude towards financial assistance, gifts before the meeting. Everything happens in life. It happens that people without meeting feel closeness. There are cases when a man supports a woman financially after a meeting, but with a long separation, regardless of whether they are married or engaged. There are cases when a man and a woman spend holidays together, travel, and at the same time the man constantly takes on all the expenses. Each person, each couple chooses their own option. If you think that material support can only be provided if you live together, then you will do so. Therefore, it is better for you to look for a woman who is self-sufficient, who has the opportunity to support herself, and allow herself to be given various gifts.

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Chris, 34 y.o.

Canada

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Reply to Barbaros on View the commented comment

There is a big income differential; when it comes to travelling for a meeting, the woman usually has difficulty with paying expenses. If you’re meeting on neutral ground or inviting her to your country, expect to pay for her plane ticket, hotel and meals. But don’t send her cash for it, pay the bills directly yourself to protect yourself from deceit. Beware of girls who say they need to pay for a passport or for a visa, that’s likely fraudulent. My best advice - meet in a neutral place that is visa-free for her, preferably easy to access by a short, direct flight. Budget accordingly and you’ll be fine.

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Ekaterina, 51 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Chris on View the commented comment

Can add. Ukrainian citizens can enter EU countries without a visa on a Ukrainian passport.
Russians are required to have a passport, as well as visas. Getting a visa for the first time, and even more so, in the last 2 years is very difficult. For those who had a multi-year visa, it is much easier to enter the Schengen countries. But for 2 years already, the coronavirus has been giving a pass only to the closest relatives (spouses, children / parents), to some countries, and to couples in love has given the opportunity to reunite.

And it is even more difficult for ordinary people to get into the UK.

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Barbaros, 28 y.o.

Turkey

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Reply to Ekaterina on View the commented comment

Hello Ms. Katerina, thank you for your answer. Of course, what I meant was that the man must pay for the visit, from plane tickets to the visa, from the hotel they stay to the food they eat. This is what I think should happen, I'd pay for everything, even if the woman was self sufficient and offered to pay; since this is how I would want my relationship to be. If we meet and she has to go back for some time and needs money, that's also fine.

I was just asking if this meant something entirely different, but I think I kind of got my answer. Thanks again for your detailed responses.

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Ekaterina, 51 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Barbaros on View the commented comment

Good day, Barbaros. I'm glad I could help. And I support you completely. My future husband and I also had the first meeting after online dating. I didn't ask for money, and I didn't ask to meet. He himself offered the meeting, and he himself offered to pay all the expenses. He offered to meet on his territory. I agreed. I had a passport and a visa to the Schengen countries. I want to once again draw attention to the difficulty of obtaining a visa at the present time. But a couple of years ago, it was not easy for Russians to get a visa either. If a woman does not live in a regional city, not in Moscow, not in St. Petersburg, in order to obtain a visa, which includes scanning her fingers, she needs to go to these cities, to visa centers. Russia is big, and the distances in it are rather big. The Schengen visa itself cost 35 euros, plus 35 euros for the services of the visa center. The package of documents for applying for a visa includes: a salary certificate, and the presence of a certain amount on the account (approximately 1000 euros if a visa is requested for a trip for 1 week). After applying for a visa, she must return home and wait about 2 weeks. Then she need to either go back to the visa center, or pay for the delivery of she passport to she home. The cost of delivery may be equal to the cost of the trip. If a woman had a visa of years ago, and has already passed her fingerprints of years ago, then she can use the services of intermediaries who can issue a visa without the participation of the woman herself. The cost of their services may be equal to the cost of all expenses for a woman's travel to obtain a visa. But I repeat, this case is only suitable when a woman received a visa and fingerprinted a couple of years ago. Based on what has been written, I would advise you to choose a visa-free country for the first meeting if the woman is from Russia. Ukrainian citizens and some others can enter the EU without a visa.

`


I described the procedure for getting Russian citizens to the Schengen countries. but for the UK the process is more complicated. In both cases, consulates may refuse to issue a visa, and all expenses are not refundable.

If the meeting takes place on neutral territory, and possibly more one meeting, then both of you will be insured against refusals during the subsequent visa application. you will have evidence of your relationship (photos, plane tickets, hotel payments). I would advise you to keep it all.

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Vera, 48 y.o.

Russia

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it doesn't mean paying travel expenses for sure. It means something else.

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Barbaros, 28 y.o.

Turkey

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Reply to Vera on View the commented comment

That's what I got from it as well, something with a different intention. I think if a mutual trust is established, it's a man's duty to provide for his woman, so the offer must come from the man, in my opinion, not put out like this as a requirement of some sort. But of course, there are 8 billion people in this world, so 8 billion different yet equally right ways to live a life. That's my opinion.

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Barbaros, 28 y.o.

Turkey

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Reply to Ekaterina on View the commented comment

Thank you for this detailed information. I didn't know the enormous costs of acquiring a visa in Russia, but obviously the country is so large there can only be so many consulates and visa centers, which complicates the matter.

In any case, if I were to meet a woman from here, I think I'd rather fly there myself, easier for me to fly and also takes responsibility off of the woman in case we don't like each other that much, because if I paid for her visit to my place, she might feel obligated to reciprocate my feelings, which is obviously not a formula for a long lasting relationship  

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Ekaterina, 51 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Barbaros on View the commented comment

I absolutely agree with you. I also thought about the arrival of a man in Russia, if the woman is from Russia, and if she does not have the opportunity to leave Russia. In my opinion, you are thinking in the right direction. I think that in order to finally decide on a meeting, you need to get to know each other as best as possible in instant messengers. I think your heart and mind, as well as the heart and mind of your online woman acquaintance, will tell you the ways of rapprochement in real life. I just said that some difficulties are possible. But with mutual desire, all difficulties can be overcome. In addition to obtaining visas, the coronovirus has now been added, as well as the situation with air traffic. All this must be taken into account in discussions in making decisions that are convenient for both sides.
good luck! I hope you reunite soon. 

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Ekaterina, 51 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Barbaros on View the commented comment

I would like to write a small note without reference to your particular situation. this topic is often discussed here, including women discussing it among themselves. I agree with the intention of a man to give material support to his beloved, especially with a huge difference in situations: differences in initial income, and when a woman moves to another country, it is possible that the woman has a complete lack of income . A long period of adaptation of a woman to another country, to another culture, to another mentality is expected. In addition, the imminent birth of a child / children is possible. All these components are strong arguments in favor of your and my opinion. The only point that may be worth paying attention to is whether a woman has her own plans, interests and dreams, except for family ones. Healthy ambition, the presence of any skills and abilities of a woman will not allow her to hang on a man like ivy on a tree, but, on the contrary, will push her to further development. In my opinion, a partner who is in a better position can and should help in this. Under the conditions of development of both partners, the family union will live for a long time and at certain stages move to a higher level.

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but these are just some of my observations and conclusions. Of course, everyone lives the way they want. 

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Lana, 50 y.o.

Russia

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Good afternoon, Barbaros.

I agree with all the comments of the girls here.
...but I want to touch on other related topics that are very important to me - topics of mutual trust, empathy and mutual interest in the life of a communication partner...
I have a question for you and everybody men here: why are these rather individual and personal topics for each man and woman discussed here in the chat? Isn't it easier and more correct to ask this question to the person for whom it is intended?... Why is it easier to accept someone's possibly correct, but still subjective opinion? After all, you want to solve the issue with a specific woman? In the end, if only you would pay attention and ask a woman about her life situation not from the position of claims or your own behavioral cliches, but from the position of sincere interest... And the desire to resolve possible contradictions that inevitably arise between a man and a woman belonging to different cultures, mentalities and with completely different life experiences, I am sure the question would be removed!... After all, it's not about sponsorship or financial support. It's always about mutual trust. Yes, I agree, it takes patience and time! It will take a huge desire to get to know each other better before making far-reaching conclusions... Or do you think that there is an ideal woman and she just needs to be found? I remind you that this is my personal opinion and I do not impose it on anyone, much less tell you what to do. Everyone chooses for himself.....

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Everyone chooses for himself: a woman, religion, the road ..... Suddenly remembered poems).



In any case, I wish you to find the right woman!

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Ekaterina, 51 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Lana on View the commented comment

А по моему мнению, нет ничего плохого, спросить на форуме. Для этого он и был создан.

Возможно, ещё и не встретилась женщина, с которой могли бы быть доверительные отношения.
Возможно, в анкете была замечена фраза, вызвавшая вопрос, ответ на который захотелось узнать на форуме, не беспокоя хозяйку профайла с непонятными целями.

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Lana, 50 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Ekaterina on View the commented comment

... А я и не говорила, что это плохо. Я лишь предложила другой взгляд на этот вопрос...
Я написала, потому что меня волнует эта тема. И речь как раз шла в общем и целом о дефиците искренности и доверия в общении.
...Не встретилась женщина, которой можно поверить? Т.е. Женщинам верить не надо, за исключением какой то одной особой женщины? Или их двое?).
... Мы как по разные стороны баррикад.
Я думаю, что если человек считает, что все представители противоположного пола меркантильны и лживы, то отношения обречены, даже если партнер будет кристально честен.

Для того, чтобы начать доверять, надо начинать с себя.
Это моё личное мнение и я имею на него право.

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Ekaterina, 51 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Lana on View the commented comment

Лично я не увидела в вопросах автора подозрения на меркантильность и лживость женщин)

я имела в виду, что автор вопроса мог только начать поиск, и даже переписки может ни с кем и не было. Я считаю, правильным проявлять интерес к тому, что незнакомо.

// И желание разрешить возможные противоречия, которые неизбежно возникают между мужчиной и женщиной, принадлежащими к разным культурам, менталитетам и с совершенно разным жизненным опытом, я уверен, вопрос был бы снят!..//

Если не у кого спросить об отличиях в культуре, менталитете, мировоззрении , то вполне естественно спросить это у тех, кто предположительно может это знать.

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Anastasiya, 39 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Lana on View the commented comment

Вы только не думайте, что я против выражения вами собственного мнения. Я как раз за то, что все мнения имеют право на существование.
Но, в этом посте как раз никто по разные стороны баррикад не находится. Мужчина задал конкретный вопрос и никого конкретно в меркантильности не подозревал. Екатерина очень подробно и любезно ответила. И автор даже все свои недопонимания себе разъяснил.
И никто не говорил- всем женщинам верить не надо. И уж тем более всех подряд женщин в меркантильности и лживости не подозревал. А то, что в области международных знакомств есть обманщики обоих полов- это к , сожалению, неоспоримо. И не надо стесняться спрашивать других людей, которые ,как раз ,обманщиками не являются.
Вы как-то перебарщиваете в своих суждениях на счёт автора поста, имхо.

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Barbaros, 28 y.o.

Turkey

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Reply to Lana on View the commented comment

Hi Lana, my question is a general one, it’s not about a specific woman, since this is an option in the site and I would like to know what it means. There are other information in the profile section as well, for example, I never write to women who specifically selected the “I dont want kids” option. Does that mean I judge them, or think it’s wrong to not want kids? No. I simply have other preferences. As I said in an earlier comment, there are as many right ways to live a life as there are people in this world, I truly believe that. I just wanted learn what this option meant, so that I could make a better decision on whom to write and initiate a conversation.

I hope I didnt offend anyone.

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Lana, 50 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Anastasiya on View the commented comment

)) дамы.... Я как раз очень абстрактно говорю о тенденциях современного мира). Общий тренд на потребление, притом в абсолютно разных областях, в т. ч. и в отношениях... Это не может не печалить.((
И я лишь высказала моё мнение (не об авторе, а о теме его поста!) и пригласила вас по рассуждать на эту тему.... А вы кинулись рьяно защищать конкретного мужчину.). Что ж), это похвально, непредвзято и весьма политкорректно.

Что касается меня - я вообще не имею привычки переходить на личности. Каждый все равно сделает свои выводы....
А к автору у меня вообще никаких вопросов - я его не знаю). Мало того, то, что он открыто задаёт этот вопрос - делает ему честь и отражает его серьёзный подход к знакомству.

Всем чудесной пятницы и прекрасных выходных!

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Lana, 50 y.o.

Russia

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Hello, Barbaros!
... It's just wonderful that it was perceived that way. Of course, there can be no resentment.) since I also expressed my general opinion about the situation without being tied to specifics (I described this in detail in the previous comment). I was interested to hear your opinion and the opinions of other men on the topic of openness and honesty in relationships, who understands it how, because this topic flows smoothly from your question.
Maybe I just needed to post a separate post on this topic. I think I will.

Anyway, thank you for your reply.
Have a nice day!

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Ekaterina, 51 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Lana on View the commented comment

Когда читала ваше предыдущее сообщение, тоже подумала о создании отдельной темы.

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Ekaterina, 51 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Lana on View the commented comment

//открыто задаёт этот вопрос - делает ему честь и отражает его серьёзный подход к знакомству.//

Согласна. Вопрос не только был задан, но и мнение было высказано. Мнение зрелого мужчины, способного понять простые вещи, которые в наше время пытаются перевернуть вверх ногами. Если вспомнить возраст наших детей, то уважение удваивается. А если заметить манеру общения, то - утраивается. Мой взгляд.

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Yuliya, 39 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Ekaterina on View the commented comment

Уважение к человеку, который может спокойно, задать вопрос, получить ответ и, не переходя на личности, быстро расставить точки над "i".

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Lana, 50 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Ekaterina on View the commented comment

Абсолютно вас в этом поддерживаю!

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Anastasiya, 39 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Lana on View the commented comment

Спасибо. За политкорректность.
Мое мнение- рассуждать абстрактно на тему отношений- не имеет никакого смысла. Как бы вас это не печалило. Обсуждать надо только конкретную ситуацию, с конкретными исходными данными. Т к отношения- эксклюзивные и индивидуальны у каждой пары. Рассуждать об отношениях абстрактно и в общих трендах- все равно, что вести разговоры в пользу бедных. Может, кто-то со мной не согласен, не спорю. Мое мнение- такое.
Кстати, на счёт доверия. Вот конкретная ситуация- мой муж у меня неделю! выяснял ,прежде чем настоящее общение начать-не обманщица ли я. Из того ли города я, что у меня в профайле написан. И даже -из России ли, а не из другой ли страны. Никакого доверия заранее. Т к до меня попались подряд 6 ! обманщиц. Так что правильно мужчина здесь на форуме спрашивает. Все далеко не просто и не прозрачно в сфере международных знакомств.

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Lana, 50 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Anastasiya on View the commented comment

Анастасия, я не совсем поняла))... Вы хотите меня переубедить не делать как я считаю, а делать как вы думаете?))...
Вам это зачем?)

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Lesia, 46 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Ekaterina on View the commented comment

Очень верные шаги, информирован, значит вооружён.
Я два дня назад получила сообщение от русской женщины, она живет в одном городе с моим французом. Она спросила можем ли мы поговорить , мне говорил мой м. ч, что он специально нашёл женщин русских в его городе и рядом с ним, которые бы мне рассказали о жизни в Франции, как их дети пошли в школу и вообще об адаптации. Два дня назад мы проболтали с Ритой почти час, даже не так, она почти всё время тарахтела и говорила, что я должна обязательно приехать, и увидеть всё своими глазами. Место прекрасное с Кафедральным собором, и люди очень приветливые, так как они привыкли к поломникам.
Одним словом мой француз сам знакомит меня с местными русскими и узнает про наши традиции от них. Присоединился сам и меня пригласил в русскую группу во Франции. Мне это не обычно, но я понимаю он хочет больше знать о нашей культуре и обычаях . Это говорит о том что он заинтересован делать правильные шаги.

`
И этот мужчина тоже хочет понять изнутри все нюансы, чтоб иметь представление о чем писать, и что предлогать. Считаю он на верном пути, пусть только его не разочаруют какие нибудь фальшивые профили. И это он тоже должен знать и опасаться.

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Yuliya, 39 y.o.

Russia

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Hi Barbados,

This phrase "I seek sponsoring" or "I'm looking for a sponsor" means "I want all my expenpenses to be paid by someone". Russian man understand this phrase 100% like this.

"I can't pay the transportation costs" wich means buying tickets, hotels, food. I think so.

When I was 20-25 years old, I couldn't pay for such expenses either. I studied at the university and worked. I could pay for apartment rent, education, entertainment, clothes, food. But I wasn't looking for a guy in another country and sponsors because there were a lot of guys around.

Anyway, I wish you good luck !

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Irina, 56 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Lesia on View the commented comment

Леся! Все это имеет смысл, если мужчина принял решение - уйти от французской жены! А если не принял, то для чего ве эти танцы с бубнами: с нашими соотечественницами, со вступлением в русские группы? Попытка отрицать реальность? Заранее извиняюсь за столь сугубо личный вопрос и сугубо личное мнение - всю информацию беру только из открытого источника.

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Lesia, 46 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Irina on View the commented comment

Я уверенна в том, что они не живут вместе, от слова совсем , второй год. Я поняла со слов Риты, которая там живёт и в вела меня в курс разводов в Франции. Как она понимает, он как раз токи в стадии завершения. Было бы действительно неплохо поехать и увидеть все своими глазами, и оценить подлинность слов и последовательность поступков.
Я прошу прощения, я влезла со своей темой, это не красиво, пост ни об этом.  🤗

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