Language sharing & expectations

Well first off , if you are really serious to have a good relation with a Slavic woman - you should just as hard try to learn her language.

In general it would mean that you should learn Russian.

I myself wouldn't mind to meet with a Slavic woman in her country and with an interpretor - if that is going to make her feel more easy and relaxed.

Of course assuming that it is all thrustful and it is not meant to be a scam.

You should realize that many young people /students learn English at school.So some of them can have some sort of conversation with a foreigner.

If it is in case of an emergency , you can still use Google translate on your mobile phone.

Most McDonalds and other restaurants in E Europe /Russia have a free wifi that you can use.

There can be several reasons why a woman will /cannot learn English.

Most of the times it will greatly depend on her personal and financial situation.

Does she has small children ?Is she working long hours every day ?

Отношения строят двое. Значит и языки друг друга должны учить оба. Всегда можно найти время для этого, было бы желание. И интересно должно быть обоим, а это ведь действительно интересно. Сколько языков ты знаешь, стольких людей ты стоишь! Некоторые мужчины категоричны в данном вопросе и не хотят изучать другой язык. Спрашивается, зачем ищешь иностранную невесту?

Мне кажется, очень важны усилия, прилагаемые с двух сторон, как от мужчины, так и от женщины. Но это не должно быть обязанностью. Желание что-то делать друг для друга появляется при наличии чувств и это важно, это двигатель отношений. Эти усилия не сводятся только к изучению языка.
Русский язык намного сложнее английского. Я не вижу необходимости для мужчины изучения русского языка, кроме варианта когда мужчина хочет жить в стране женщины. Это может быть приятно, когда мужчина понимает хотя бы некоторые слова.
Я бы хотела изучать много иностранных языков, не только английский, но на это нужно время. У каждого своя ситуация, на это также влияют возраст и память.

Привет, Chris.
Вы задали очень хороший вопрос. Конечно, полноценного общения без знания языка не получится. Думаю, что и серьезных отношений тоже. Серьезные отношения, требуют серьезного подхода. Изучая его язык, я ожидаю того же. Единственный момент - в какой стране будет проходить интеграция. Кому-то придется приложить больше усилий  .

Eric, I appreciate the response, but I think this fails to see the bigger picture beyond dating. Is the solution you propose that you learn her language and go to live in her country? I see the merits in some cases, but that is outside of the norm. If she does not learn your language, what is the solution? For example, I lived in Turkey for a few months, doing a university semester at an English university in Istanbul. I lived in a working-class neighborhood where no one spoke English after the students had all gone home, it was extremely difficult to do anything other than order food at a restaurant because my Turkish was beginner-level, at best. I felt homesick and totally isolated because of language and I wouldn't wish that on someone I had respect for. This is the dilemma I imagine - is it truly possible to fall in love with someone you can't understand, and is it responsible to do that?

Chris ,

I certainly understand what you mean to feel isolated and not knowing how to spent the time.

I felt like that when I was in the military (in my own country) - and it was not my own choice of free will.

I was drafted and so I had to go -
But you know , I tried to make the best of it.

I saw (big) young men cry , because they really were feeling homesick and unsure.Young men from whom I had never expected that.

If you are a man then act like a man ...

And so I tried to cheer him up and had many conversations with him.

But in the end he just couldn't get a grip on himself and on the situation - and he was discharged from duty with a medical code on his military passport.

In fact it meant that he had psychological and mental problems.

But believe me I really had a hard time in the beginning (after 6 months you get used to it).

Learning a foreign language is not something that you do only for yourself.

I'm lucky, my girl was a professional athlete who trained all over Europe in her teens and was traveling the world competing as an adult so her English is very good. Even still we have had some epic fights over miscommunication. When we are in person it's smooth, it's when we have to be apart, mainly during text that we can get out of sync. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if her English were limited. Having had this experience, with Corona now added to the mix, I realize how vitally important that communication level is, gone are any romantic notions that love can overcome  . Nope, the reality is a relationship is easy to walk away from when any long distance is involved... when you're fighting over nothing because of misunderstandings and not having sex, that routine grows old quick lol. I think for it to realistically work, for guys with real options that aren't desperate, you need as few difficulty barriers in your way as possible, even then it's hard. As such I couldn't begin with a girl who could at least fumble thru a conversation and had a serious goal of improving her English. If she were a beginner then it would be too much for me personally but to each their own.

I also found that the easiest women to find a spark with were the ones who already had experience being abroad for a period of time. They seemed more willing and able to make radical changes, and far more adaptable. I realize such people are very rare. Women who were English teachers or who have an advanced degree in philogy seem particularly strong and versed in western "culture".

Don't get me started on miscommunications. In English, the word "lie" gets mistranslated all the time, and it's a dangerous mis-translation. If you mean "lie", as in "to lay", it can be translated to "lie", as in "to not tell the truth". I've had to explain more than once that I wasn't calling someone her a liar, it was the translator's fault   I have had enough struggles with a translator to never want to use one again.

Chris ,

Like I said in a previous post , the young women /girls from CIS countries and Russia have a different mindset and vieuw on life.

Unlike Slavic women /girls from before the breakdown of the Iron Curtain and the Berlin Wall.

Today's young Slavic girls grew up in a different time and age.With multiple changes happening in their lifes.

In their country changing from a
socialist to a more open economic market.

They did enjoy all the freedom and benefits that came with the changing of the new political and social situation in their country.

Some countries became a partner of the EU - making it more easy for these people to travel abroad.

Furthermore they also did learn to use the new tools (apps) and technology.And they now could learn English at school.

Many possibilities where now at their disposal.Like freedom of speech , developing themselves in many fields.

Taking part in international students exchange programs.

Ok Billy ,

So you are setteling down now ... ?
I'm glad for you ...

My native language is Polish. Nobody from my 4 husbands can't talk Polish. Igor talked Russian, Herbert, Jack and William only American English. Sometimes I translate some English words to Polish or Russian...only for interest. I adapt, not them. It is about languages. About dishes: we all have many similar dishes but name differently, for example: vareniki - pirogi - ravioli or tortellini; draniki - derynu - harsh brown. Many dishes what I cooked for my husbands were known for them from childhood...but other name

Settling down hasn't happened yet but the not so subtle hints about the type of ring she wants has begun lol Not to make her sound like she's in a rush or anything, she's put in her time, this isn't a new or online relationship...we were together 1.5 years before we broke up, we were pretty sure we found the right people just at the wrong time...the timing simply corrected itself while we were apart. Thank you Eric, I appreciate it.

Good for you man ...

Yes , sometimes things do change or emotions get the better of you 2 ...

Life has it's surprises ... but always keep the faith ...

Good luck

1. Communication is key to a successful relationship. Someone must learn the other person's language.

2. More than 90% of the time the couple move to the man's home country, so obviously the woman must learn the man's language anyways.

3. Russian and Slavic languages are some of the most difficult languages to learn in the world and most people will never learn enough to become functional. This isn't my opinion, there are official rankings of how difficult languages are to learn. Germanic and Romance languages are much easier to learn. More importantly, most western people have not previously studied Russian, while most Eastern Europeans have at least taken a few English classes in school and therefore have a head start and a foundation.

4. Yes, it would be nice if the man would try to learn Russian, but in reality the woman must learn English. I personally only message women who claim they speak English 3 (Intermediate) or higher. Logic tells me that a woman serious about finding a foreign husband would learn English. Therefore,I am not going to waste my time talking to a woman who is not serious and does not show initiative to do, what must eventually be accomplished anyways.

I first went to Eastern Europe in 2015 not even knowing how to say нет... met a woman and had a relationship in kyiv for 6 months.. what made me learn Russian was fact her young daughter couldn't understand me... now i can speak it at level 4 but without grammar i know words for everything nearly but still have problems with long sentences. I can read but not write russian and im very confident in person and could have (and have had) relationship with none english speaker without problem however on video chat i freeze.. knowing russian to level 4 is a powerful tool for a man because you get the pick of the girls who cant speak English... a girl who is good looking and can speak english know they have much better prospects all over Europe...taking a translater on a date in my opinion is unrealistic... learning Russian was best thing ive done

1) It works beautifully when BOTH learn each other's language.

2) you speak so much about "must" - when I read your post I get the impression of reading a training programme for a military bootcamp.

Motivation works way better, if it comes from within.
3) about Slavonic languages:
Do you know any of them at all or are assertions based solely on hearsay?
Which official rankings do you mean?
Slavonic languages have their difficulties and tricky parts, just as well as any other languages, and I find rating and "ranking" the difficulties of a language a tall task:
Do you mean in terms of grammar complexity?
Flectations, conjugations and declensions?
Two examples:
Russian 'only' has 3 tenses and two aspects which only applies to the perfective and futuritive - as opposed to 13 tenses in English.
German 'only' has 6 tenses (of which one is never used). Once you absorb the various patterns, it becomes a very natural process of using them - the same as any other.

Rory, I'm shocked.
Do you think women will do everything to be with you cause you are from USA? I don't doubt it, maybe you will meet your girl.
But it's better for me to be single than be obligated to someone.