Men & women
Larissa
Dear men, don't you mind if we speak about your attitude to the financial side of relationships or marriage life
Dear men, don't you mind if we speak about your attitude to the financial side of relationships or marriage life. Would be nice if you clear up some questions from men point of view .1. What financial policy are you going to keep to possible marriage ? Your financial model of your future family? Traditional , where a man is a money getter or not?
2.What financial policy do you expect from your potential partner?
Does she have to have any marriage portion?
3. Is it necessary for your future partner to work hard to support herself financially or you can take her on yourself and she can be a housewife?
4. How to avoid misunderstanding and mistakes in this very important aria and when this aspect is more appropriate to discuss between you and her?
5. What are your advises to our Slav girls in this aria?
We do hope you to answer honestly and we do appreciate any of your opinion. Your answer will help to avoid many mistakes in future for our Slav women. Thanks
И я всё жду , когда начнётся обсуждение этого вопроса. Но ,наверное , мужчины или боятся начинать обсуждение или просто не читают эту рубрику. Мужчины,,постоянные участники форума, может вы начнёте обсуждение,а потом и другие начнут высказываться.?
And I'm waiting to begin a discussion of this issue. But perhaps a man or afraid to start a discussion or just do not read this column. Men, permanent members of the forum, can start a discussion, and then the others will speak.?
Larissa
Thanks for your opinion. May I ask you to explain more in detail only if you want to.
Larissa
The financial questions are the most difficult in any relationship and it is important to have financial discussions (several) during the development of the relationship and into the marriage. I believe that failure to do this complately with my last girlfriend is what ended that relationship.
There are many issues in this topic though, including that the woman is not likely to be able to work for some time, unless close to fluent in the language or going to an area with many Russian-speaking people. And the costs for visas, tickets, transfers, etc, including all the documents within the country for immigration must be taken into account as well. It always seems to be more than expected and so the man should plan for more than what he first thinks.
That being said, I think the man should bear the brunt of the financial responsibility for the family. That does not mean the wife should not or could not work. That is a decision that will depend upon them and upon circumstances which change, such as existing children, new births, language issues, etc. I think the wife should work if she wants to do so, but this should be money for her to use and extra for the family. In my past marriage, I paid the household bills, and my ex-wife's income paid for extras like new furniture, remodeling the room. This was not a hard and fast rule and we did not split our incomes, rather combined them with the budget plans.
A budegt is very important. Knowing how much money is coming into the family and how much is being spent should be important to the wife and it should be an open discussion. My last girlfriend was used to being paid monthly and so had difficulty in understanding the budgeting when I was paid every week from my job. She was used to momey at one time and then determingin where it went instead of a more steady stream of income and not always having a large chunk of cash at one time, despite a good income.
Another important thing is to be open with the wife about what expectations are and how much money can be spent. It's not right to make promises that cannot be kept, but it is also not right to expect more than is possible, especially when there must be plans for future savings, wedding costs, travel etc.
Money is one of the biggest causes of strife in a relationship and some of this comes from the core ideas about family life beteen women and men. Women by nature search for stability and security and men tend more toward risk and unknown and so the men who especially are bringing a woman to a new country have to make their woman feel secure enough to not make an already stressful situation even more stressful. At the same time, the woman must realize (and I am talking about a man who is middle-class, if rich, it's a different topic entirely), that the expenses involved in the moving, wedding, immigration are temporary but will affect the lifestyle to some degree in the immediate short term, whether this is reducing the savings or expenses or whatever and that it doesn't mean it will continue. My last girlfriend was very frugal in general, but once she moved to me for a several month visit, it seemed like the talk about saving for a wedding and honeymoon went out the window and all she wanted to do was shop. This is not reasonable nor practical and certainly not sustainable for long without problems.
There is no way to completely avoid all misunderstandings and mistakes, because we are all different and we all have slightly different ideas but the most important thing is to be open and honest. Because money has a way of causing problems even when precautions are taken.
I know that if I marry a woman from Russia, she can't work immediately in the US. And she will have a very big problem with language from the first day. Either way, I earn the money. It is not that hard and my salary is good. If she is a housewife, or if she works, either way, I don't care. She is free. In my humble opinion, I see that a lot of Russian women on the dating sites think that they can get a job easily in the US. That's a fantasy. It's very difficult to find work here now. She needs to be realistic and she should expect that her husband provides for her especially if she is pregnant.
Amer
In my opinion, men whom want to finding a woman from aboard, must understood and be able to support all the financial side and any issue related to his future partner... and if this woman have a kid or kids and must be moved with her... he must "the men" know that he will be releasable for them too....
but in the future if this woman, wants to work, is she find works " nowadays " then it is an option for her , but never obligate her to to that ..
so, I am totally agree with Mr. Folie ....
with all my respect of men opinion
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