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Hugo

Age difference and love

Hello everyone

Here it goes. I am a divorced man, I don't have children. I was married 14 years to my first girlfriend. I have a positive self-image. I have good plans for my future and I expect to marry a decent woman who would want to share her life with me.



I am looking for a much younger woman ( 18-28 ) than myself ( I am 48 years young ), but age is just a number as they say; so I am a bit flexible.

Why do I want to marry a (much) younger woman?
Because I want to have children, I want a woman who has no children of her own, I want a woman with plans for the future, I want a woman who has dreams and ideals and is romantic, I want a woman who doesn't believe all men are pigs, I want a woman who will see me as I am, a man looking for love, I want a woman who is innocent and a bit naive, not because I want to fool her but because I want to protect her from experiencing the ugly things in a romantic relationship. I want a woman who is a dreamer and who is cheerful and likes to spend time with me doing new and interesting things. I want a woman who wants to learn and discover the world. I want a woman who can feel amazed. I want a woman who is passionate about life and who leads an active lifestyle. I want a woman with a sense of adventure. I want a woman who thinks is possible to do something in order to change the world and make it a better place to live. I want a woman who is hungry for life. I want a woman who is appreciative and supportive.

I want to feel that she loves me. I want to feel that she wants to be with me. I want her to be happy and excited and thrilled and full of passion. I want to feel that she is enjoying her time with me. I want to feel alive and in love. I want to feel the magic of being human. I want to be having intense emotions.

Is this really too much to ask?

What am I offering in return?

I am a dedicated man, I am smart, attentive, patient, supportive, encouraging, challenging, loyal, respectful, loving, romantic, gentle, polite. I am a man of one woman and I have always been. I want to live with a woman for the rest of my life and I like to fight for the things and the people I care about, I like to make efforts every day to improve my life and the life of others. I am not a millionaire and I have a rich inner world in the spiritual and psychological sense. Almost every single girl that I have had the fortune to interact with, says that I am the ideal man, an angel (fallen one, I am sure), a saint or something along these lines. So why then I am still single?  

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Liudmila, 52 y.o.

Germany

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Reply to Olga on View the commented comment

Ольга, я же не ищу изначально, чтоб конкретно на приличное количество лет был старше. А находятся вот такие, что между сверстником и старшим я отдаю свое предпочтение старшему.

У меня был финн на год моложе, отличный парень, но деток хотел,у него еще не было (ему тогда 42 было), а мне это не надо. А старшему и моего отпрыска с головой достаточно   .


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Hugo


I will write a summary of some ideas others wrote and my opinion about them, since is more convenient.

1 The notion that I don't deserve what I desire. - I deserve what I want as long as I conduct myself with respect with my partner.

2 The idea that I am suffering from some kind of mental illness. - I like to go against the tide mostly so I will say that I am crazy in most people's opinion and proud to be. Thank you.

3 Any adult woman who chooses to be with me somehow has a very low value:
* A girl who either lives or was born in a village. - I think this pretty much is a despicable generalization and many people who live in the city now was at one point living in a village or his/her relatives live in one.
* An orphan girl. - First of all being an orphan is not a choice and second, I doubt that this would decrease the real moral value of any human being.
* A woman aged 18 to 28. - There were several comments about the topic. First of all, the ability to think is not an exclusivity of a specific age range and to say that only after 40 the brain starts to function properly is definitively dubious. There was a study showing that empathy is fully developed around the age of 18-19 and that is why many children are used as soldiers; because of the lack of empathy for the suffering of others. Other than this I don't see a reason to argue that someone young is incapacle of deciding about his/her own life.

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* A woman who is poor (in the economic sense). - I for one am against prejudice and pretentiousness. The economy in no way can be associated with the moral and psychological value of anyone. If that were the case, only the people with money would be worthy.



4 I have many young male friends as well as female. I enjoy the company of young people and in general the company of any normal and positive person regardless of the age.

5 My preferences are personal and honestly, I couldn't care less if people think this is morally wrong.

6 As far as I know talking respectfully to any woman in public is not illegal (regardless of age) and certainly not a reason to call the police even if some people in this group wish it would be possible.


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Hugo


I forgot to comment on this one:
Someone said that if women are having children then they become in some bizarre way a "Hen". I guess that makes all of us "Chicken"  


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Natalja

Reply to Hugo on View the commented comment

А что происходит с эмпатией и работой мозга после 30 лет? Мне не понятно, почему мать ваших детей не может быть возраста 30-35 лет?

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Svetlana, 51 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Hugo on View the commented comment


"My preferences are personal and honestly, I couldn't care less if people think this is morally wrong."
If you couldn't care less what the others think then why have you started this discussion?


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L

Reply to Liudmila on View the commented comment

Он хочет молодую не по причине репродуктивного возраста)) сейчас медицина таком уровне, что вопрос родительства решаем в любом, практически, возрасте - эко, суррогатное материнство, усыновление, наконец.
Но нет, ему нужна марионетка.. с взрослой женщиной он не чувствует себя состоятельным, это вопрос неуверенности в себе, не более. А раздули-то тему.. у меня уже и попкорн заканчивается  


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Hugo

Reply to Svetlana on View the commented comment

I care about the respectful opinion of people and not about insults and negative adjectives, I don't care about people who judge me according to what they think is correct. After all, I don't intend to hurt anyone but is pointless to talk with a person who has a set mindset and no matter what I say or what my goals or intentions are, there are people who will disapprove of me anyway. So, perhaps you can tell me why should I care?


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Galina

Reply to Natalja on View the commented comment


Да не нужны ему дети . Он хочет молодое тело .Он 14 лет прекрасно жил с женой . И не заботился о рождении детей . А тут вдруг подавай ему , духовно богатому , 18 летнюю девственницу для производства потомства . Прожил свою жизнь , как хотел , а теперь хочет молодую наложницу для его же блага . Эгоист .И деспот . Он потом эту девочку заставит расплачиваться за всё , что ей предоставил .


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Galina

Reply to Hugo on View the commented comment


Вам плевать на людей ... на их честное мнение .Для Вас важны лишь Ваши желания ... Бедная молодая девочка в чужой стране с Вами .У меня есть дочь . Я бы костьми легла , но не позволила таким мужчинам , как Вы , обмануть её .И это не из-за большой разницы возраста .ИЩИ 18 ЛЕТНЮЮ ДЕВУШКУ В ТВОЕЙ СТРАНЕ . В своей стране девушка хотя бы всегда сможет найти защиту .


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Ben

Reply to Svetlana on View the commented comment

It's hard to believe that the guy really is 48. I occasionally receive hellos and greetings from girls (women, ladies...) who are in their early twens and hesitate to reply because of the age difference, and Hugo here especially targets them.

Trying to talk sense to him feels like 'reasoning' with someone who follows an extreme political ideology: reality blind, defiant, huffy, immature, egoistic and ignorant of the world around them. I wonder how many dislikes the guy must still earn for him to see that he's on the path to failure.

@Hugo: if you had ever done team sport, you could answer this question really easily:

If the trainer says "turn around" and you suddenly face 99 people, while 99 people are looking at you - who has made the wrong move - you or all the 99 others?  


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Yuliya

Reply to Hugo on View the commented comment

Вы - психологически не зрелый мужчина, Hugo. Ваши желания - желания ребенка, а не зрелого человека. И Вам действительно комфортно с молодыми людьми, потому что уровень развития одинаковый. Да, для вас действительно возраст - только цифра. Вы все правильно про себя пишите. Это не тот случай, когда человек чувствует себя вечно молодым. Наверное все мы в душе дети. И это здорово. Но, проживая свою жизнь, мы обычно приобретаем жизненный опыт, который у нормальных людей вырастает в ЧУВСТВО ОТВЕТСТВЕННОСТИ. Вот Вы, к Вашим 48 годам чувство ответственности не вырастили. И Ваши аргументы, приведенные тут в подтверждении своих желаний - детский лепет. Вы похожи на эгоистичного ребенка, который любым способом пытается заполучить игрушку. И да, вы ищите способ, наиболее дешевый, чтобы это получить. Это ведь вы делали из катушки для проводов стол для дома? Очень мило, но это эконом вариант. Хочу, дай, плевать на мнение людей, обида, злость, непринятие другого мнения - признаки незрелой психики. Поэтому Вы пишите хочу развиваться вместе. Да Вам нужно расти. Все правильно.

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А вот если бы Вы выросли, Вам было бы интересно и со своими сверстниками. Знаете почему? Потому что с возрастом вырастает глубина чувств. Мир уже не воспринимается поверхностно. Сформирован характер, круг интересов, отличный сексуальный опыт, есть материальная база и т.п. Многие вещи уже объяснять не нужно. А уж как вы были бы интересны молодыми женщинам. Поэтому вы будете себя чувствовать некомфортно с дамами своего возраста, потому что никому не нужен эгоистичный 50-летний ребенок.   


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Hugo


I will say it again to make it more clear. I am willing to engage in dialog with someone who is open to discussing. I, however, consider that if the comment is a personal attack, contains offensive words and negative adjectives this person has already decided, judged and reached a verdict, so no dialog is possible. Many people feel entitled to judge my life and my choices and interpret my words and twist them in the most bizarre ways possible without willing to know me or my life. So why would I choose to honor these messages with a response? I respectfully decline.


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Hugo

Reply to Natalja on View the commented comment

Hello Natalja

I search a specific age range in the site because I have felt usually more attracted to the women in this range. In real life, I don't see this happening since nobody carries a label with the age or other statistical data on it. I want to be with someone whom I find attractive and this can be outside of this specific age range.

I hope this answers your question.

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Natalia, 52 y.o.

Belarus

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Reply to Yuliya on View the commented comment


С катушкой был другой 50 летний ребенок, да стиль мышления похож.

Девочки мужчина принял решение, у него есть конкретный отклик по его заявке как я понимаю, не нужны ему советы.

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Natalia, 52 y.o.

Belarus

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Reply to Hugo on View the commented comment

Интересно будет почитать ваш результат об удачном знакомстве, а не только мечты. Я реалист, люблю видеть результаты.

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Natalia, 52 y.o.

Belarus

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Reply to Hugo on View the commented comment

А что конкретно вы хотите обсудить?
В чем вы сомневаетесь или ищете ответы?


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Olga

Reply to Hugo on View the commented comment

Hugo you are a big boy and you know what you want! Good luck in your search!


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Nadezhda

Reply to Natalia on View the commented comment

На фоне "этого", "тот" кажется милым и родным ))) 

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Eric, 75 y.o.

Netherlands

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Reply to Ben on View the commented comment

This is just a general indication , to make a turn around.In essence , you also need to specify , what type of turn it should be.

As far as I know , Hugo is not in the army.I thought that you were.
If so , then you will know , that they give other commands , to make a turn.

Left or right or a full 180 degrees.Unless it works different in the British army (but I did not work there).
Having said that , I have seen guys , who did not understand these commands correctly and some or more times , were making the turn in the wrong direction ..


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Ben

Reply to Eric on View the commented comment


If you had read what I wrote, you would have noticed that I meant SPORT, team sport to be precise.
I was using this as a comparison to reflect on one's own actions - be that a turn or whatever other movement. (I gladly leave that up to your fantasy along with the military, army and commands…)
A megaton of dislikes and disapproval have rained down on a 48 year old (with a baby brain) who has delusional fantasies about dating - or even MARRYING - an 18-year-old because he (with his 'mature mind') feels "more attracted to them".
Now the responses to such an intent would have made any sane person reflect big time.

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Svetlana, 51 y.o.

United States

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Дамы, вот чего у Хьюго не отнять, и чему мы все могли бы у него поучиться, так это уверенности в себе. Ему тут все уже высказали - и внешность самая заурядная, и доход видимо очень средний, и очевидное несоответствие желаний возможностям, а он не расстраивается. Влечет меня к молодым красоткам, и все тут, а раз так - я этого достоин. И даже тот факт, что поддерживает его только Эрик, которому 70 и он ищет девушку от 28   (Хьюго - сама скромность), ни капли Хьюго не смущает.
Вот она - здоровая самооценка. Нам бы так всем. А то в соседней ветке девушка страдает, что кто-то ее "неликвидом" назвал (ага, в 30 лет!). И ведь мы зачем-то верим таким глупостям. Вот Хьюго и воспользуется верой некоторых женщин в то, что после 30 женская ценность на брачном рынке резко снижается.
Удачи в поисках, Хьюго. Я верю, что ты встретишь свою "мечту".


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Hugo

Reply to Olga on View the commented comment

Thank you Olga
I wish you success in your search too.
May you find everlasting happiness.


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Natalia

Reply to Svetlana on View the commented comment

Это не самоуверенность, это упертость, даже, если он начнёт в душе думать по другому, здесь, перед женщинами, он будет утверждать, что он хочет, что он хочет, и никто его не переубедит.
Это все бла-бла-бла, хотеть и иметь, это разные вещи.
Я тоже много чего хочу, когда он покажет фото, где он с молодой девушкой вдвоём, и где она выходит замуж за него, это да, а так, это все болтовня пустая.
Пусть себе хочет, мы все чего-то хотим, и мечтаем о чем-то.))))


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Olga

Reply to Hugo on View the commented comment

Thank you Hugo. I hope I found my everlasting love four years ago 


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Olga

Reply to Natalia on View the commented comment

Немного по этой теме. На сайте дважды встречала мужчин, которые реально плакали и жаловались на то, что их "поимели" молодые и красивые девушки. "Я ее любил, а ей нужны были от меня деньги (вторая получила гражданство и что-то при разводе). Рассказывали, как залечивали душевные раны. Так трогательно. Девушки, правда, были старше 18. Мужчины моложавые, тоже вполне. После такого "кидалова" мужчины включали адекватность и рассматривали женщин другой возрастной категории, не столь юной и "борзой". Хотя меркантильность от возраста не зависит. Может, и Хьюго найдет большой геморрой на свою пятую точку.

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Eric, 75 y.o.

Netherlands

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Reply to Svetlana on View the commented comment

Well , I didn't say that I support Hugo.I said that I don't Judge him , because I don't know him well enough to make a balanced opinion.

Furthermore I also said , that it is the girl who is making that decision.With whom she wants to start a relation.

Because Hugo wanted to make this statement here , that is his choice.Just as it is your choice , to make a statement here , that I am seeking for a 28 year old woman.

I wonder where you got that from.Snooping secretly in a man's profile and then come to make a statement here about some things , that you have found in his profile ,is not very nice.

Oh , yes , I know that women , WHO HAVE CLOSED THEIR PROFILE HERE , can still check out the men's profile , in invisible mode !!!

Oh , oh , naughty , naughty you ......

I had this discussion about my profile age range , already in MAY 2017 , with another woman (who also had closed her profile - meaning she already had found a partner)

`


So , if you don't mind Svetlana , I will skip the discussion with you , this time ....

If you want to be legitimate , don't secretly snoop in other men's profile .....

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Eric, 75 y.o.

Netherlands

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Reply to Ben on View the commented comment

I understand that a turn is a turn.If talking about sport , let's talk about the Zumba dance classes then.

I'm sure that you have heard about it and what it is.Zumba is Latin dance , but not with a dancing partner.

Many Latin songs , were newly arranged for Zumba dancing.People will line up and then do a sporty dance , according to the instructions of the teacher.

As such , there are left , right 1/2 turns and left , right full turns.
By default - turn left , means a 90 degree turn to the left.

In Salsa (merengue) dancing , it is important for the lady , to know in what direction , the man wants her to turn.

If in sport , I think it would be a good idea , to let the teams (class) know , in what direction , the turn must be.

And also , if it should be a 90 , 180 or 360 degree turn.
As in the Zumba dance , the class will know , what turn to make.

Zumba dance was big hype some years ago ...

I understand that you used that as an example ..

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Svetlana, 51 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Eric on View the commented comment

I didn't "spy" into your profile. I remember your profile since before I met my husband. Yes, I've been on this dating site since 2012. Of course, I my profile is closed now.
I remember you because 1) I have a perfect memore and 2) I was blown away when I saw your profile. I remember thinking--wow, that man is older than my dad but is looking for a girl way younger than I am ))))) He must have think highly of himself.

Good luck in your search )))))


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Hugo

Reply to Natalia on View the commented comment

Svetlana
I have had several relationships with young women. However, I am not re-married yet because harmony still needs to be found with a partner regardless of the age. I don't need to prove anything to anyone. I merely want to be happy, that is all and I honestly wish that everyone will find what their heart truly desires.
Peace

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Eric, 75 y.o.

Netherlands

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Reply to Svetlana on View the commented comment

You didn't look at my profile ????? Do you have some magical requirements , that you just know , what is in a profile , without looking at it ???

Wow , I didn't know , that YOU WERE SO SUPERIOUR ...
YOU have a good memory , but so do I !!!

ALL MEN ON THIS FORUM , be careful now , because Svetlana has really PARANORMAL GIFTS ...

Is that the reason that you have chosen for an American man ???Why not an European man then ??

Maybe YOU can say , what my next words will be ....
And if soo , then tell me (I'm really curious now ... )

Alas your eagerness , to snoop in my profile , has let YOU forget , to check my CLIENT STATUS !

If YOU had done that , you would have seen what it is ...
I am pretty sure , that there are women on this forum , who can tell you , what I can and cannot do , with this client status.

But you can also ask the manager , to inform you about it.

And of course , psssshhhtttt - YOU MUST DO THIS SECRETELY .....

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