Men & women
Meeting
Hypothetical questions about meeting face to face.Hello Ladies, Imagine you have been talking/videoing with a gentleman for some time, you both like each other and you both agree to meet. The gentleman comes to your city and stays in a hotel or rents an apartment. What are your views and opinions on the following;
1) How long would you like him to visit for, a few days, a week, longer?
2) If he is staying for 1 week, how often would you want to see him?
3) Would you take time off work to see him?
4) Would you want him to be in a hotel/apartment near you or further away?
5) would you like him to meet your friends and or family?
Your views would be welcome.
Chris
The few times I've met with someone new, it was always on neutral territory. If you do visit her country, I would suggest going somewhere that is new to both of you as an excursion - it helps to build a bond, instead of simply invading someone's existing life. Both people see the world slightly differently than their routine. So about each question:
1) I find that 5-6 days is plenty as a first meeting.
2) I spent almost all day, each day with her. If one of you isn't willing to spend all that time, you're probably not comfortable enough, or just not a good match.
3) This is inevitable, and holiday preparations should be made. I realize it's a big sacrifice to take off work, but if someone is serious, they will find a way.
4) This is something that is very personal. I have shared a room on a first meeting, and I've stayed a few kilometers away also. This will have to be discussed with the woman and you will need to be very patient and accommodating. It's not a bad idea to spend it close-by, as it helps with logistics for an already time-limited trip.
5) No, save that for later. The first meeting should be about the two of you, nobody else. Do not complicate it by putting pressure on her - no doubt her friends and family will be inquisitive and perhaps judgmental. You may be forced to pretend to be someone you're not if you decide to do this.
This is all my opinion based on experience. My first meetings have been amicable, and time well-spent because an adventure was made out of it. Best of luck.
Natalya
Good afternoon. For me, the answers to the questions are as follows:
1. 5-7 days
2. and 3. If a man came specifically to me and our meeting was agreed in advance, then I will take a weekend at work and will see him every day. I think that a person, having made a long-distance flight to meet with me, deserves my constant attention while he is in my country.
4. I would like him to be in the hotel, which is comfortable for him emotionally and financially.
5. Depends on a specific person. After several days of personal communication, you can understand whether the story will continue. I can introduce him as a friend, as a guest, all stories are individual.
Alina
Когда мой жених прилетал ко мне на неделю, он жил в гостинице, а я взяла неделю отпуска и проводила с ним эти дни. Приезжала к нему утром и до вечера мы вместе гуляли, смотрели достопримечательности, изучали местную кухню усиленно, потому что приехал он в феврале, у нас мороз, холодно, не разгуляешься). Привозила его к себе домой, познакомила с детьми. Ну а как иначе, он же приехал в чужую страну ради меня, я старалась, чтобы эта поездка была ему приятной и безопасной.
Chris ,
I understand that these are your own personal experiences.
But are you talking /referring to Western women or did you go and had a meeting with E European and or Russian women also ?
If on your very first meeting with a Slavic woman I am not sure if she is willing to spend the whole day with you at a first , 2nd or 3rd date .
Neither am I inclined to believe that she is ready to go on a vacation with a complete stranger on your first visit.
Well , she can take some days off from work - but that depends on her personal and /or financial situation.
If you are dating with a traditional Slavic woman sleeping in the same room or appartment is probably not going to happen on the first dates or first visit.
And meeting with her friends doesn't sound likely either.
In general it will take more than 1 visit (and many more dates) to let her feel very , very sure about you and your intentions.
And then I am not talking about your qualifications to understand and interpret her actions , non-verbal communication and her words ...
This is the part where many men loose the situation and sometimes kill something that may have started (very) well , but they didn't knew how to "read" the woman ...
Just my 2 cents ...
Chris
Hi Eric, these experiences refer to two first-encounters in Europe with Russian women. The first case, we arrived at the airport in Rome and were together until her boarding call on the outbound flight, which was on the sixth day. We stayed in the same hotel room, and neither one of us wanted or needed any time alone. There were no issues with this whatsoever, but lots of time was spent on Skype and messaging prior. The second case, I stayed at a hotel in Marseille and picked the young lady up every morning at the place she was staying. We spent around 10-12 hours each day, every day for 6 days. I don't really think my cases are out-of-the-ordinary, but building trust does take patience, as I said before. I was willing to accommodate any demand and would repeatedly ask if there was something I could do to make her feel more comfortable and safe. If she would suggest something, I wouldn't try to convince her to follow my way, but would imagine myself in her situation and do what I felt was best. Actions speak very loudly to Russian/Slavic women, and I've found that they will trust you if you give them a reason to. With that said, if two people are a good match, they will have lots to talk about and over-exposure should never be a concern. Just as they will trust you if you give them a reason to, they will give you all of their time if you give them a reason to, as well. At the beginning, it's easy to think "it's going to be a long 5 days if this goes badly", but time flies when you're having fun, and by the third day each time, I was already wishing I had booked a longer trip.
Alina
Вообще, первая встреча не должна быть слишком продолжительной, по моему мнению. Неделя максимум. Во-первых, здесь может быть любой исход, в том числе и разочарование, поэтому чтоб не получилось, что тебе через 2 дня хочется уехать (или ему хочется уехать), а билеты только через месяц. А второе - это утомительно, новый человек, да еще плотное общение на неродном языке, каждый день, целый день. Ссоры могут начаться просто из-за банального переутомления. В отношениях лучше "недокормить", чем "перекормить" собой
Ok I get it.
Sure there will be other situations when things will be different.
As sure that there are other women/men with different mindsets to certain issues.
I was more talking about meeting in former CIS countries and /or in Todays Russia.
I believe that it is what the OT poster was asking about (but I can be wrong in that).
Also it is obvious that the young people of today in E Europe /Russia have a different look on life and that their knowledge of life in Western countries and the ways that you now can obtain all types of information through mobile phones / apps / computers makes it much easier for them.
Also the freedom to travel around the globe also has it's effect on them.
But going over to visit a woman in E Europe or Russia may still be somewhat different.
So it is important to try to understand them.
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