I seek advice
Brendan
Is it normal to have difficulty finding someone?
Could the makers of the site compile some statistics or something? I am having a bit of difficulty, and I'm wondering what's normal. I only get responses to about 10% of the messages that I send. Usually they are just generic, like saying "Hello I read your profile and I'd like to get to know you better". Usually the message is a little longer than that, but that's basically what it means. Is that a bad way to start the conversation? I get such a low reply rate that I sometimes try a lot of different things (like maybe trying to tease the woman, or making a joke or something), or spam the same message to a dozen different women.
Actually, most of the women who have talked to me sent me a wink first. Hardly any woman that I messaged first wanted to talk to me. Why do men have to do all the approaching if women decide for themselves who they want to talk to? And I can't find any pattern to the messages that women reply to. It is as if she decides for herself by reading my profile or something if she likes me, and it doesn't make a damn bit of difference what I actually say to her.
Irina
It is normal,dont worry.The way of finding right person is really hard. Your profile and answers to the questions just seem not serious to me, you have too much fantasy) but it is just my opinion, sorry, maybe you need something to change a bit, and you are young and Im sure you will find a girl, good luck
Alice
Hello.
I know that a lot of introverts are really smart, merry and have their own world in their heads.
It is very good for hobbies and jobs.
But they can't to find love.
It's so hard joke - to have 2 girlfriends And this joke is hard for women too, may be.
A lot of women from here are looking for kind and generous men... They want to marry. And we try to looking as perfects ladies. That is boring
Well done for now.
Anzhelika
Брендан, внимательно прочитала вашу анкету и от души посмеялась. А чего вы ждёте? Вы серьёзно думаете, что девушки с традиционными представлениями о семье будут жить втроём, да, ещё и в Сибири? 😊 )) вы же сами пишете про традиционные гендерные роли. Насмешили до слёз! Присоединяюсь к другому комментатору- ваши представления о России из области фантастики))) и ваших фантазий.
Olga
Да... парнишка повесилил , так и послушал он советы!!! Зачем тогда спрашивать?!
Anastasia
First, for approaching, for some it is language barrier. Some don't speak english so well, are shy, and don't know what to say or how to approach the situation. Also, here, it's just normal for the guy to do the approaching more. So part of it may be language, part is cultural, and part I'll explain next.
For the messages... I don't know about every girl. But some get an absolutely massive amount of messages. Today I had 103 when I logged in. At least 90% say "hi" or at most - "hi, how r u?". To be honest, we don't bother with a lot of those because there are so many. It seems many guys do the "fire as many shots as possible and hope to hit something". To us, it feels like there is absolutely no interest at all because we can tell he does this to many girls. Many have witty messages too, that seem "cookie cutter". It seems like they spent much time writing a clever message and just interchange names, and copy/paste it to many girls.
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The best thing to do is send a well thought out message, something that shows her you read her profile, you paid attention, and have interest. I can't speak for every girl but I literally ignore any message that is so simple as those. Not to be rude, but there are just so many any it's impossible to reply to every hello.
You know what they say! If the message had no thought put into it, the person receiving it won't put thought into it either Girls also here look for a serious relationship. If there are signs in your profile that you just want internet communication, cannot afford/do not want to travel to see her, bring her to you, or to develop a long term relationship, she might be uninterested.
Brendan, firstly your young and eastern country girls have a preference to older men to make them feel secure. Secondly last year when I tried to reach to the point of meeting a girl I sent to about 200 profiles so the conversation could end up to agreeing on spending time together..
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