Men & women
Drew
I know each woman is different, but I am tired of an American mentality
привет!I could use a different perspective and advice.
First I'll give you a little background about myself. I am a 26 year old successful man with a kind heart. I am very outgoing and I enjoy meeting new people all the time. I seem to be attracted to the worst women. My friend's wife, who is Russian, told me it was only an American trait in women. She said Russian women have stronger values. (Kinda why I joined this site to see the difference). I hit a point in my life where I wish to "slow down". I know the single life is not for me anymore. Women have all these traits they look for in men. I don't have any traits I look for in a woman. I enjoy the unknown. Is this because I don't know what I want? Is this because I have enjoyed being single for too long? Do we set goals way too high? I just want one connection that is meant to last and show her how a man is supposed to treat a woman. Or is love really lust? Are we meant to love multiple people through out our life time in this day and age. Going back to before, should I not look for a woman and let her find me? I'm not used to a woman approaching a man. The choices I have made before led me to only ending the relationship for lack of values and meaning. I know each woman is different, but I am tired of an American mentality. Women in my culture expect to be treated like a princess with out having to do anything. I have an issue with this. I was raised to treat people with respect when given respect. Love is not one person in servitude. I thought it was two people collectively giving all of themselves to each other in hopes of a beautiful life. Am I mistaken, or does our generation not possess these qualities anymore? If so, I will not worry and continue to live happily single.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Additional insight would be greatly appreciated.
Hello Drew! I want to tell you that you're on the right track. everything in life should be mutually and to look for a girl who will share your views on life. I wrote you some interesting information to you in the mail in your profile. I wish you did not give up and persistently seek out your beautiful young lady.
Drew
You are truly a wonderful woman. I have nothing but positive wishes and hopes of pure happiness for you. You are a kind soul and thank you for taking the time to respond. I was beginning to think this was a subject people did not want to talk about. I thought I had matured fairly well but there are still things I do not know, i.e Love and human nature. I still see people with selfish hearts and it's nice to see someone who maintains a pure love of life. Thank you again for responding and your heartfelt e-mail.
Elina
Love is not lust, when lust is satisfied - theres nothing but emptiness. Love is more about giving and share. When you fall in love you dont think whethter its right or wrong, mentality, culture, etc. If you did not have luck with american women, who knows, maybe the path that led you here was a thread to a happiness you can find right here. Everybody is looking for each other more or less actively, so it can happen anytime, anywhere and in an absolutely different situations. Just open your heart and be prepared for this feeling.
Brandon
Bro! Congratulations on making the best decision of your life. Do your research, learn the culture and treat these women with respect. You will find an amazing contrast from what you are used to. Good luck.
Yulia
Hello Drew. I can say that there are enough "princesses" in any country Women are spoiled by men's attention and vice versa. Selfishness doesn't occur out of nothing. You have right values about relationship and there will be right woman for you, maybe it's not time yet. It's not easy to find a match, but if one does nothing he will gain nothing. I would advise you to explore Slavic girls, to learn their interests in life, their goals, what they expect from relationship, what kind of attention they need from man etc, etc, etc. And then you will be able to compare mentalities yourself
No doubt, our world is getting more cruel and cynical. But I truly believe that honest, kind-hearted, respectful people are still at an advantage. And men are still at an advantage... they are hunters, don't they? ))
Good luck to you, be positive!
Drew
@Elina I appreciate you taking the time to write as well. I feel as if American women only know Lust as Love. This is why I choose not to appease their wishes of a "meaningful" relationship anymore. Or it could be a fact of youth. I hope you find what you're looking for.
@Brandon I have noticed the difference right away. So much I plan on taking a Russian class next semester. Thank you for the positive reinforcement and best wishes to you my friend.
@Yulia Ha you made me laugh, I pictured a man going out into the woods and tackling his "prey". I have heard the term "hunting" before but I don't see it that way. I am aggressive yes, and I pursue what I want in life. Its kind of why I asked the question. I don't want to blind side myself by going after the wrong woman because I am the "hunter." I ask myself the question as well of, "Maybe its not time yet." I wonder all the time if you can go straight from being a bachelor to a marital state of mind. I guess it solely depends on finding that right woman who changes everything for you. Again I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Good luck and best wishes.
Yulia
Drew, men are "fishermen" as well )) No matter how you name it...
Maybe you know "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" by Steve Harvey. It's more girlish reading and doesn't claim to be relationship's manual but I guess you can find some answers there or at least mature man's point of view.
Be good!
Yulya
Ага, быть с Американцем, который сделает из меня женщину, которые ему не нравятся? Женщина не быват той или иной, просто так. Женщину воспитывают мужчины, такие, как А.С.Пушкин, например ("Чем меньше женщину мы любим, тем больше нравимся мы ей"). А на самом деле, все девушки и парни во всем мире - одинаковы. Есть подходящие, а есть не подходящие. Это просто не Ваша "химия"....меняйтесь сами и Ваше отношение к окружающему миру. Читайте книги!!! Меньше зарабатывайте!!!! Работайте руками!!!! Учитесь быть всезнающим, творческим и интересным!!!
Drew
@Yulia, Ha I liked your fisherman metaphor
Hope you had a wonderful day!
@Yulya, I had a hard time understanding your message. I disagree with majority of it. So far from what I have noticed, in this short time since I have been on this site, is that Men and Women are different in all parts of the world. Everyone was raised differently and the experience of different cultures do not leave one gender the same as someone on the other side of the world. People on this site genuinely care about the welfare of others. My culture only cares about themselves. I can tell when someone only does something for personal gain. I don't waist my time with people like this, hence why I'm looking elsewhere. Forgive me if I seem rude but I perceived your message as somewhat insulting. I know the "games" of romance and could careless. I don't have a problem meeting women. My concern is meeting the right one. I don't want to pretend to not be interested in a women so she will like me. I don't want a woman who only likes me because I'm not into her. These are childish games I want noting to do with. As far as reading a book, I am a very intelligent man... I work on turbine engines for helicopters and I am attaining a degree in radiology to become a doctor. I left a job where I made a lot of money to serve in the military. I have always been a protector and I had a huge desire to do what others cannot. I do not want to earn less. I work harder in one day than most people do in a week. I have a strong work ethic and refuse to not be rewarded for my efforts. I do not want to be all knowing. I find beauty in the unknown. That's what so amazing about life. I don't know of any philosopher that knew everything, especially about love. Its the pursuit of knowledge and different life experiences I look forward to. I don't want to magically know how to fish one day. I want to figure out how to fish. Its the journey that makes life enjoyable. I enjoy my life and live it to the fullest. I will not change my lifestyle to seem "interesting" to people. If a woman cannot see who I am there is no point in talking to her. I think your message was lost in translation and I took a defensive stand point. It was not meant to insult you either. If women see love as a man not wanting her then I want nothing to do with it.
These are the most beautiful words ever written to a woman. This is what I search for.
What you do
Still betters what is done. When you speak, sweet.
I'ld have you do it ever: when you sing,
I'ld have you buy and sell so, so give alms,
Pray so; and, for the ordering your affairs,
To sing them too: when you do dance, I wish you
A wave o' the sea, that you might ever do
Nothing but that; move still, still so,
And own no other function: each your doing,
So singular in each particular,
Crowns what you are doing in the present deed,
That all your acts are queens.
PERDITA O Doricles,
Your praises are too large: but that your youth,
And the true blood which peepeth fairly through't,
Do plainly give you out an unstain'd shepherd,
With wisdom I might fear, my Doricles,
You woo'd me the false way.
FLORIZEL I think you have
As little skill to fear as I have purpose
To put you to't. But come; our dance, I pray:
Your hand, my Perdita: so turtles pair,
That never mean to part.
- The Winter's Tale by William Shakespeare.
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." - Nietzsche
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