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Your definition of "dumpster fire" is also incorrect, Svetlana. This is where Dustin began to be nonsensical in his postings - the term may not translate well, but it is also often misunderstood by the person who uses it.
Urban Dictionary is the best place to find a definition for English slang. It defines "dumpster fire" as:
1. A complete disaster.
2. Something very difficult that nobody wants to deal with.
This definition is very similar to my understanding of the term, too.
I really don't understand what he intended to say by "I don't live in some feminist dumpster fire", but I can't see any situation where the intended usage was polite to women. While I'm not going to make any judgment of feminism in this post, it seems logical that Dustin is implying that "feminist" societies with empowered women are undesirable and something that nobody wants to see, which gives us a glimpse of his view on women and their right to make choices in society. He goes on in that post to lament not sexually exploiting the women around him in his younger years ("Looking back in life the amount of women I could have had in my 20s"), which was what made me change my tone with him. Those are the statements of a man who sees women as objects, not people.
Please note that I didn't tell Dustin to stop talking about sex - I told him to relax on the talk about intimacy if he wanted to improve his chances. Hugging, kissing and cuddling happens in practically every normal relationship, everyone knows that. Writing about it in conversations with near-strangers is peculiar - why does he need to describe intimate acts he will do to someone he barely knows? When you seek marriage, intimacy often happens after trust is built, and talk about intimacy typically happens first from someone who is interested in the physical aspect. In all honesty, I don't think he has much experience with women at all, which is okay. Learning how to talk to women, and be appealing to them can be extremely difficult if you never really learned how. We all go at our own pace. It's also natural to make mistakes as cultures and languages clash. But generalizing entire groups of women (post-Soviet women, Orthodox women, etc) based on their reactions to his uncomfortable messages isn't fair.
Urban Dictionary is the best place to find a definition for English slang. It defines "dumpster fire" as:
1. A complete disaster.
2. Something very difficult that nobody wants to deal with.
This definition is very similar to my understanding of the term, too.
I really don't understand what he intended to say by "I don't live in some feminist dumpster fire", but I can't see any situation where the intended usage was polite to women. While I'm not going to make any judgment of feminism in this post, it seems logical that Dustin is implying that "feminist" societies with empowered women are undesirable and something that nobody wants to see, which gives us a glimpse of his view on women and their right to make choices in society. He goes on in that post to lament not sexually exploiting the women around him in his younger years ("Looking back in life the amount of women I could have had in my 20s"), which was what made me change my tone with him. Those are the statements of a man who sees women as objects, not people.
Please note that I didn't tell Dustin to stop talking about sex - I told him to relax on the talk about intimacy if he wanted to improve his chances. Hugging, kissing and cuddling happens in practically every normal relationship, everyone knows that. Writing about it in conversations with near-strangers is peculiar - why does he need to describe intimate acts he will do to someone he barely knows? When you seek marriage, intimacy often happens after trust is built, and talk about intimacy typically happens first from someone who is interested in the physical aspect. In all honesty, I don't think he has much experience with women at all, which is okay. Learning how to talk to women, and be appealing to them can be extremely difficult if you never really learned how. We all go at our own pace. It's also natural to make mistakes as cultures and languages clash. But generalizing entire groups of women (post-Soviet women, Orthodox women, etc) based on their reactions to his uncomfortable messages isn't fair.