Men & women
Elena
От каких женщин не уходят мужчины?
ОТ КАКИХ ЖЕЩИН НЕ УХОДЯТ МУЖЧИНЫ? ХОТЕЛОСЬ БЫ УСЛЫШАТЬ МНЕНИЕ МУЖЧИН
Согласна с Вами Елена!
Я так и сказала: хочу украшать твою жизнь!(я имела в виду во всех смыслах!)))
ЭТО БЫЛА, РЕШАЮЩАЯ ФРАЗА!😉))
What kind of a woman a man would never abandon?
or
What must a woman be like for the man to never think of leaving her? (Do you think it depends on the woman, Doug? 😉
Думаю, уходят от всех и возможно ,что это к счастью..для женщины! Только мы не понимаем и пытаемся бежать следом,а на деле- Бог отвёл подальше!Что могу сказать из опыта и наблюдений : самые достойные женятся один раз и всю жизнь заботятся о семье ,в семье есть и любовь, и достаток , стабильность в жизни,но это только единицы..нам они не достались!
Tatiana
Так чуднО звучит для меня подтекст вопроса. Как будто "Мне надоело что от меня уходят. Какой мне стать чтоб не уходили".
А от меня всегда мужчины уходят. Не я от них, а они от меня. Жалко мне их бросать, вот и делаю так чтобы сами уходили.
У меня гипертрофированный материнский инстинкт. Я всех людей считаю детьми независимо от возраста. А "уйти" от мужчины - это как отнять желанную игрушку у сына. Я на такое не способна.
Но и "быть в руках" каждого пожелавшего - тоже не моё. Поэтому я нашла компромисс. Я становлюсь "неинтересной игрушкой" для каждого конкретного возжелавшего.
И не важно что он потом обо мне думает и за кого принимает, лишь бы "под ногами не путался".
Я могу быть кем хочу: от зануды-мозговыносительницы до бесшабашной прожигательницы, от "монашки до свадьбы ни-ни" до "проститутки".
Девченки, это не значит что я действительно вчера "ни пью ни курю", а сегодня "синячу"))). Для создания определённого образа в мозгу /или в глазах если кому так понятней/ мужчины достаточно от пары фраз до пары дней общения. Все остальное накладывается на тот образ. Если мужчина ну вооообще не интересен как человек - уйдёт с твёрдой уверенностью, что он меня бросил. Если интересно - будем от преятелей до друзей.
Только исходя из специфики сайта прошу понять правильно - не ВСЕ мужики на меня "кидаются"))))
Я говорю только за сам факт - жалко мне мужчин, я даю всем возможность "уйти" самим. Так не страдает их гордость; так не преобретается лишний комплекс неполноценности; так многие не становятся врагами, а наоборот дружат; так "текучка кадров" обеспечивает больший выбор; так меньше потери времени и сил, а иногда и денег.
Загадка.
Она - просто "умная", он - "Змей Горыныч", ну да у него же белая горячка. Кто уйдёт первый?
Казалось бы ответ ясен - ОНА, но подождите, умная написано в кавычках!
Liletka
Это типа "10 причин как отпугнуть мужчину",у меня с точностью наоборот ,ну никак не отстанет))))
Tatiana
Значит - не хотите чтобы отстал.
Или Вам нужен такой. Не именно этот парень, а вообще который "не отстает". Это для "своё Я потешить": вот какая я хорошая, как нужна - не отстает.
Или не то делаете, не так ведете себя. Ему другое надо чтобы отстал.
У меня только один "не отставал", не уходил. Я за него с превеликим удовольствием замуж вышла. Но поскольку любила его тайно, то сейчас сомневаюсь, что так уж сильно я старалась "отшить")))))
Может и у Вас так? 😉
Ok, Helga...you know me...my question is, "What kind of man is always faithful and never abandons his woman?"
Why is this about the woman? Must she be something exceptional so her man will not discard her and move to the next person? (Although I do like Katherine's rule for sex every night at 9!) This is wrong thinking; if an irresponsible man leaves and is not faithful, his poor wife will somehow think there was something wrong with her, when very well he was the problem. There is never any excuse for deserting your mate...he promised to love her unconditionally and always.
When a man and woman make vows to love and cherish each other, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, in good times or adversity...what does that mean? To a man of character, he will never desert her. If she is sick, he will nurse her; if she is cold, he will warm her, he will give her his own cloak and endure the cold so she can be warm. He will cover her in the storm with his own body. He will go hungry so that she may eat. If she cannot walk, he will carry her. He places her needs before his own. If she is sad, he will understand and try to make her laugh; he will take her hand and walk with her; he will hold her close; if she yells at him, he will roll his eyes, but he will never hit or betray her. He will be her best friend and teach her to become his best friend. (Sometimes she must be willing to listen.) What is all this foolish talk about abandonment!? A true man does not abandon his mate...period.
One problem is as Helga said. Do not grovel before him; make him respect you. Do not create your own monster by treating him like a child and doting on him all day; you are his wife, not his mother! Expect him to be a man and take proper responsibility; a decent man will rise to the challange. (If you must, get rid of the couch and make him sit on the floor!) If you have no expectation of him, you will achieve this.
One last observation...I am aware that most of you ladies do not believe this kind of man actually exists. That is something totally different. My experience is that many, many, many good women choose "Bad Guys!" Then they are unhappy because they are bad. What did these ladies think was going to happen!?
Okay, this is my sermon for the day. Time to take up the collection for the offering!
Here are the captions for the two pictures I am posting.
(1) GIRL: "God please send me a man who will love me and make me feel special!"
GOD: "I did this, years ago, but you kept telling him you liked him only as a friend!"
(2) "Why do girls always go for the bad guys!?" (Creature From the Black Lagoon)
"Why do girls always go for the bad guys!?"
This is a very interesting topic of gender markers.
Olga
To a man of character, he will never desert her. // Doug, I agree with your thoughts in general but would like to add some moments that I see here.
One of the reasons for parting with the spouse may be such. When a woman and a man get married they (at least some of them) sincerely want to keep their deep mutual relations and they follow this direction. But nobody can predict the way of a person in time. Sometimes one from the couple goes ahead, strives for development in many spheres, including the one connected with the consciousness, while the other prefers to stop and limit oneself to only a warm couch or raising children. Unfortunately, this does happen ( Therefore it is important to try to foresee at least approximately if you both will look in a similar direction after a few or many years.
I am aware that most of you ladies do not believe this kind of man actually exists. That is something totally different. My experience is that many, many, many good women choose "Bad Guys!" Then they are unhappy because they are bad. // I see 2 parts of the question here.
`
1) Men of such kind exist but there are not many of them on the Earth.
2) Women indeed often choose “bad guys” because this traditional pattern is exactly typical for the patriarchal society (every society even nowadays more or less belongs to this type). Under this pattern rude, selfish and brutal men who consider it a shame for themselves to do chores around the house and care of their children and believe such activities to be “only for women” have the image of “the real men”.
Of course, both these reasons are interconnected.
I see your point, Olga. Apparently there are some differences between cultures I do not understand. We believe a man of good character does not respect men who mistreat their women; we see him as a coward. A man does not see himself as weak because he is kind or patient, or has a compassionate heart. There comes a time when he must say no, and he will, but there is nothing wrong with trying to please his wife. He can be tough when he must, but does not throw his weight around because of insecurity. He sees the world clearly, but is not controlled by it.
Boys ask questions; men give answers! Boys play house, men build strong homes! Boys make babies; men raise children! A boy neglects his own children; a man will raise his own and someone else's child!
Boys invent excuses for failures; men create strategies for success! Boys look for somebody to take care of them; men look for someone to take care of! Men demand respect and know how give it!!! Boys quit and walk away when life becomes difficult. A man promises to love you through good times and bad...and he keeps his promise. This is why we feel a real man does not desert his woman. I’m surprised some find this concept of loving and cherishing your partner odd.
I understand some women see this type of man as weak. Really!? That is sad. These are just my thoughts...maybe this also answers the question, what does a man do when his partner suffers a stroke or becomes ill.
"what does a man do when his partner suffers a stroke or becomes ill"
There is a Dutch film describing that issue - Comes a Woman to a Doctor. The main character is very controversial, however, with unresolved internal conflicts of his own, but this very theme - what will you do if - is revealed well (see a shot below).
"I understand some women see this type of man as weak. Really!? "
Really-really. Only the other day there was a comment in one thread, something like "Women attract men with the air of weakness which is created by such qualities as courtesy and tact". Guys, beware of being courteous and tactful!
But mind, all people are different, even within one culture.
However, I will tempt you a little, Doug are you sure you do not want to change? It is so sweet, calm and comfortable to be taken care of by a "convenient" lady...Usually people enjoy when they are treated like that (I personally would enjoy it).
Dear Helga, really, really, really.
The thought of being cherished by a lady who could love me in spite of all my flaws is humbling. I have no temptation to sit in a soft chair and be waited on by a beautiful woman...or two or three. Would be much more precious to have her curl up in my lap, her arms around my neck, with her head against my face, content just to be with me and be mine.
I do not know the movie; I only see the picture. You have chosen to post a powerful image that elicits many, many deep emotions. The essence of this couple's bond must be the most powerful force in the world. This surely must be the love for which all seek. If experienced for only a short time, the memory of her touch, her smell, her voice...would last forever and be worth whatever price must be paid. Sorry, we creative people can not always think logically or pragmatically.
With all that can happen on a dating site, easy for some to become cynical and hard. I cannot change to fit the perceived market...what some woman might be looking for; I can only be who I am and perhaps someone sees something in me. If she is the right one, she will realize who you really are and see the value. If she does not possess the right qualities to perceive who I am, it does not matter.
Regardless of the movie plot, the picture is very powerful. Thank you for sharing it.
Victor
perdona Doug... no se necesitan votos de matrimonio para ser respetuoso y condescendiente con tu pareja..
Lo de:¿porque las mujeres les atraen los chicos malos?. Llámalo ley de hormonas... Ley de la naturaleza...
Somos animales... Y algunaS mujeres son atraídas por el macho dominante,el que es más fuerte,ágil,corpulento,más llamativo..guapo.
Extraña que los inteligentes no sean interesantes pero es por el hecho de que una mujer,le bastan 3 minutos para saber que le interesa de un hombre... Y el sabio necesita más tiempo para enamorar una chica..
Tu pregunta tendría que ir acompañada de esta:¿ porqué las mujeres tras fracasar con el macho alfa,tras un mal divorcio,y tener hijos... Buscan a los beta.. Los chicos tranquilos?.
Ser tranquilos no significa ser tontos... Las mujeres se preguntan porque no nos atraen las mujeres separadas con hijos... Pues muchos no queremos criar los hijos de los alfas y tampoco tenemos la culpa de que las mujeres elijan más por deseo carnal o físico que usando la cabeza.. Y como ya comenté,los beta o tranquilos,no son tontos... Estudiarán a una mujer antes de hacerla compañera.
Y respondiendo a todas... Los hombres no queremos otra Madre.. Madre sólo hay una.. Una mujer debe ser una compañera,una amiga,tu igual,tu mejor confidente...
No queremos mujeres sometidas... Os queremos activas,independientes.. Pues el matrimonio no significa vasallaje o ejercer de siervo ni mayordomo..
Lo de todos los días sexo,no se lo cree nadie.. Repito.. Na-di-e.
Victor, to me, the "Alpha" male is severely overrated. I see most "Alpha" males as insecure and hiding weaknesses. "Alpha" is a psychological term created to study animals. (You know...like gorillas and monkeys.) Humans are a little more complex and much higher on the food chain.
You might be surprised at the intelligence, skills and physical abilities of a sogannant "Beta" male. When asking a "Beta" karate master what color belt he has earned (ranking) he will always tell you, "leather!" He needs no label to be comfortable with who he is. Only those who imagine themselves as "Alphas" need these labels.
Labels do not occur to real men; they are relaxed with who they are. Women who flock to the sogannant "Alpha" male get what they asked for; not usually what they wanted. The “Alpha” imagines himself at the top of the heap; the "Beta" doesn't care.
The superior woman who is able to discern the good qualities and recognize the intrinsic value of a sogannant "Beta" male has exactly the qualities of perception and appreciation for which that man is also looking. She will probably get what she is looking for; and so will he.
Also, Victor...second time I have said this...a real man will love her and raise her children as an extension of that love. He sees the need and has compassion; does not even occur to him they are "someone else's" children. He is bigger than that. A real man thinks of others, Victor.
Victor
Pero Doug... La realidad es que antaño,ahora y siempre una abeja es atraída por el polen de una flor y la mujer ed atraída por el físico o quizás el instinto natural que creen ver en hombres guapos o músculos un buen espécimen para tener hijos sanos...pero lo cierto es.. Que sólo se acuerdan de los beta cuando las repudian,las tratan como un juguete, o abren los ojos ante la falta de cariño...pero,como ya dije.. Los betas no son imbéciles.
Victor
Dime Doug... Si tuvieses pocos recursos económicos o no pudieras tener gran familia.. Teniendo que elegir.. Arias tu familia con hijos de tu sangre... O criarias los hijos de los alfas?.
¿Deja de ganarte votaciones positivas... Lo tuyo,sólo son palabras..
De ser ciertas,no se encantarian aquí tantas madres con hijos solteras o separadas..
Como animales es el ser humano.. Y todo animal,busca que sus estirpe prevalezca...
"Beta" males laugh about "alpha" males while we sit around the table, play cards and admire beautiful women. When alpha males become too obnoxious, we humiliate them!
During my life I have had wealth and sometimes not. Money did not make or break me in any way. Have never devoted myself to making money or accumulating wealth; have always placed people above material wealth. I always have enough; usually much more.
If a smart man needs money, they have the brains to go make it. A good man prizes simple things and simply beauty. You can tell a lot about a good man by watching how tenderly he treats those who can do nothing for him. (Compassion) Alpha is usually unable to recognize these things; too busy trying to be the "Alpha" male!
Victor
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