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David

For the beautiful older woman debate

Age of Woman

Read allot of debate about members requirements.

Hugo at 48 saying he would like to have children with a girl from 18 years! Eric's profile saying at 70 girls from 28 years.... Obviously this has not been popular, men looking for girls, daughters or grand-daughters age.



However I'm now looking at this from the point of women 35 plus.. or 40+ or 50+ how hard is it to find a good man who is looking for woman his own age in 2018

Will you compromise on requirements or not?

How far on compromise should you go to find a husband or not?

Thanks Dave

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Olga


После 35 лет требования только возрастают. Так как, я например, знаю уже с кем хочу и смогу быть, а с кем нет.


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Olga


И, если так случиться, что ни один мужчина не понравиться на сайте знакомств, то лучше быть одной всегда, чем мучить себя и мужчину без любви.


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Naddin


David, кто ищет, тот всегда найдет. Для возрастных мужчин найти себе дочку/внучку, мечтающих о красивой жизни с богатым мужем иностранцем-не проблема.Проблемы будут потом, когда она адаптируется в стране, получит вид на жительство и поумнеет.Для состоявшихся женщин,имеющих четкие цели в жизни-компромисс не нужен, если нет любви. У меня возрастной предел-не старше 8-максимум 10 лет. В обратную сторону можно растянуть до 20 лет  


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David

Reply to Naddin on View the commented comment

Is it not down to individuals motives and agendas? Has well has preferences (within reason)

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Vera, 50 y.o.

Russia

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There should be compromise from both sides but only if there is love, in other case compromise or not - it is useless. Also if a woman compromises and a man doesn't it won't work because it won't be fair.

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Inessa, 56 y.o.

Russia

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Один мужчина нашел прекрасную девушку на 20 лет моложе его. Оказалась обычной мошенницей или мошенником, при этом и неумным. Так что вам удачи в поисках молодых и обворожительных скамеров.


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Lyudmila


Девид, действительно трудно встретить на сайте знакомств хорошего мужчину подходящего возраста для женщин 50+, но и более молодым женщинам тоже трудно. Поскольку в основном процент мужчин, которые действительно хотят познакомиться для серьёзных отношений крайне низок, в основном мужчины на сайте хотят развлечься или просто пообщаться. Те мужчины, о которых вы говорили, которые хотят сексуальных отношений с "дочками и внучками" вполне имеют на это право, вполне возможно у них есть склонность к педофилии. Есть ещё такой контингент, довольно часто пишут очень молодые мужчины, предлагая встречу за их счёт, женщинам 50+. Этим чего не хватает ,ровестниц? Меня это очень удивляет. Может их мама в детстве недолюбила. А что касается компромисса.....Чем женщина взрослее, тем она более самодостаточна и русская пословица "на безрыбье и рак рыба" уже не про нее.


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Nata

Reply to Lyudmila on View the commented comment


А что самодостаточность приобретается с возрастом и опытом? Некоторых опыт не учит и меняться они не собираются, думают что все кругом какие-то не такие.Так много взрослых и несамодостаточных.. А мне кажется и по себе вижу, что это просто лень и обычное нежелание ломать себя и подстраиваться, приятнее уже жить как хочешь и как ты сам решаешь. И вот тут ты начинаешь перебирать, то не то и се не то

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Olga, 47 y.o.

Azerbaijan

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Reply to Lyudmila on View the commented comment

Согласна с Натой. самодостаточность никаким образом не зависит от возраста. Не факт что взрослая женщина самодостаточна. И не факт что взрослые женщины не идут на компромисы выбирая рака на безрыбье. И это не мои домыслы а наблюдение за рассуждениями женщин на этом форуме. И еще, я заметила одну очень интересную тенденцию. Взрослые самодостаточные, успешные женщины, добившиеся чего то на Родине, более активны, более решительны, готовы менять свою жизнь и некоторые из них даже меняют или согласны менять на более низкий уровень жизни чем они имели на Родине если дейстивтельно находят свою любовь. Только действительно сильная, самодостаточная и успешная женщина может себе позволить идти на компромисы, просто потому что она уверена в себе и в своем избраннике. Только у нее и цель не просто скорее найти того кто позовет замуж, а найти действительно единомышленника с которым она захочет провести оставшуюся жизнь


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Irina

Reply to Olga on View the commented comment

Оля ,вы все написали правильно и красиво. Но только как это трудно - встретить такого единомышленника.


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Lyudmila

Reply to Nata on View the commented comment

Да, я думаю в молодости у людей бывает очень много иллюзий по поводу отношений. С возрастом эти иллюзии рассеиваются, так как жизнь очень хороший учитель .Ну, конечно есть и такие, которых и жизнь ничему не учит и они опять наступают всё на тежи грабли. Ну это я тоже про себя 😄😄😄


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Lyudmila

Reply to Olga on View the commented comment

Да, всё правильно и красиво сказано. Многие самодостаточные и не очень ставят перед собой такую цель - найти мужчину единомышленника и жить с ним в любви и согласии, но есть ли такие которые эту цель достигают? Я думаю, что таких очень мало. Всё это наши мечты и иллюзии.....

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Olga, 47 y.o.

Azerbaijan

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Reply to Lyudmila on View the commented comment

Я сказала иначе   Но я не считаю что это всего лишь мечты и иллюзии. Слишком много примеров говорит мне о том что это реально. И в жизни и здесь на форуме читала. Иллюзия это ждать что влюбится в нас идеальный мужчина-  красавец, миллионер без единого недостатка и все положит к нашим ногам за одно наше ДА   а найти единомышленника с которым мы будем счастливы - вполне реально. главное не размениваться и не соглашаться на первого встречного позвавшего, оправдывая себя тем он реален а единомышленник и любовь это мечта и иллюзия   


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Natalia


Всё мои мужчины были моими ровесники, или на пару лет младше меня.
Вообще не задумываюсь, что и как.)))))
Какие компромиссы, не понимаю, или подходят люди друг другу, или нет, и это не зависит от того, кто кого младше или старше.
Если мне не нравились никогда мужчины на много старше меня, я никогда и не буду иметь такого мужчину, ну, хоть, застрелите вы меня.)))))


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Natalia

Reply to Olga on View the commented comment

Оль, я не очень-то и успешная женщина на Родине, но полностью попадаю под твоё описание))))), может это от самого человека зависит, от его характера.
Не все ищут любовь, кто-то ищет деньги, кто-то хочет улучшить свое материальное положение, кто-то, из-за детей, чтобы перевести потом их в Европу, не все святые, как мы с тобой - любовь, любовь. ))))
Кстати, почитав форум пару лет, я стала задумываться, вот, жила я всю жизнь любовью, не думала о выходе, не заглядывали в кошелёк мужчины, а может быть, и зря. Вот, честно, любовь приходит и уходит, а кушать хочется всегда.
Пишу, и как будто, не я.  
Вот, форум проклятый, что с человеком хорошим делает))))))))).


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Natalia

Reply to Natalia on View the commented comment

Телефон печатает сам по себе.  
Не думала о выгоде, не заглядывала я, в кошелёк к мужчинам.

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Sayyora, 53 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Natalia on View the commented comment

ой, как я вас понимаю и полностью согласна с вашей точкой зрения!

Мой муж был младше меня на 5 лет. Мы не замечали разницы в возрасте. Он был как-то даже взрослее по характеру.  Пыталась я пообщаться с теми кто  старше меня, ну не получается, некомфортно мне, а представив себя  при выполнении супружеских обязанностей, вообще страшно становится.  А некоторые еще детей хотят.  Может если  только сильно влюбиться.  Вот в такого как  Шон Конери может и влюбилась бы, а так с ровесниками или младше  мне намного уютнее   

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Vera, 50 y.o.

Russia

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It is a difficult question. It is difficult for younger women here to find someone decent as well. I met my first husband not at dating site. It was site where people could place adds, my add was even without a photo and consisted of 2 sentences. I met another boyfriend at social network where people shared music and other stuff. It never worked with a dating site for me. At dating sites there is too much choice and man can't concentrate on 1 woman. When I was younger I received very many mails a day from dating sites, but it never worked, because man can't stop on one person and goes further on, too much choice and everybody wants only someone ideal. Another problem is that many men that come to dating sites can't support a family, many want only shared expenses and this might be a problem. Other men that work, do their business, usually don't hang in a net. Most likely the person that would fit me doesn't spend much time on these sites as he has a lot of interesting things in his real life going on and doesn't waste it too much on Internet. So the chances to meet such person are even less. Another problem might be that with years people become more cautious and prejudiced, it becomes more difficult to open a heart to somebody, to get used to somebody, there is less tolerance and as a result opportunities might close before them. They either don't take the chances or don't see these chances when they are before them.


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David

Reply to Vera on View the commented comment

I've upvoted your post has it holds more value and opinion then some of your others, however I want to clear something up replying has a man

This is a myth that a man cannot stick to one woman and if I meet a woman and I like the woman I won't meet other women and will be in a relationship with one woman... if a woman holds no value to me I will look for another woman!

Has a man, a woman often wants a bad boy but if they find him and tame him they no longer want him!!

In life I know what I want in a woman

Vera at times you speak lots of sense at other times you speak like a child looking for your fantasies

A good man holds value I've spoke and met many good looking women in my life not because I'm fantastic looking which I am not! but because I'm very possitive person and understand woman's needs and wants! There are men come in forum saying women won't talk! Or they wrote to every woman or can't get replys off women with reply rates under 25% response rates!

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I've on more than one occasion spoke to women who are top of the competitions being we are all equals on here! I'm shocked that younger men than me have problems in communication

A few of the married women who have retained a profile on here are the girls who know the secret how to get a man and sadly you insulted one who stands out to men why she found a husband

Back to Vera on men can't stick to one woman if this is the case why do I spend more time writing on forum than chatting to the person/s I speak to on here.

Answer us men only want one woman however this woman can't just be anyone it needs to be the right woman.

There are many good looking women and intelligent women on here and age is irrelevant... sadly despite this.... many make school girl errors when on dates or when in relationships or just in chat!! that's why they don't get to the church with the ring 💍

My advise is listen to the girls who have got husbands but come back to inspire other not to give up!! The ones who kindly write on forum and post there success story's for others to see...

Many girls here along time who still think there perfect like the girl who was depicted controversially has "A Cockroach" by another member who explained why he held such an opinion...

What you need to remember is if you look at the success section on here you see a diverse selection of people from different ages places and cultures... thus success is possible for all and none of us should ever give up on our dreams no matter our age

Answer to Vera and also to everyone else who has been so kind to reply to my original post

Thank you everyone

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Vera, 50 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to David on View the commented comment


Well many women you mention got a husband while he was in a process of divorce. Not many women would want to date a man who is in the process of divorce, so there was no concurrence so to say. Many closed the eyes that man has already kids. So there was a lot of compromise. But all this won't help me. Many women go meet a person though they don't feel anything to him, but he looks suitable due to looks and position and they hope it will work out in the process. I would never do that. So there is nothing from somebody's experience that can be useful to me. I stick to my fantasies, but why that should be a problem as long as I don't do any harm to anybody.


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David

Reply to Vera on View the commented comment

I agree that if the married woman found has many negatives has you do the sites success rate would be 0% and the fantasy of dating would be better than meeting people... I think if we could choose your perfection me and another member according to his profile I read we wouldn't date we would be fighting over Dua Lipa!!! Has fantasy would outplay reality


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Natalia

Reply to Vera on View the commented comment

Заглянула в я ваш профиль, фотографии посмотреть)))) , Вы такая хорошенькая, и наверное, вредненькая))))


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Natalja

Reply to Natalia on View the commented comment

Таких любят ещё больше, чем добреньких, надо только немного ей убавить пессимизма.


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Billy

Reply to Vera on View the commented comment

As David kind of said, the idea that men can't focus on one woman is just nonsense .  Your experience while younger on a dating site is the experience of most young people dating period, while online or off it and if you base your opinion of men primarily on that you're going to end up with a pretty warped view of men. Most young people aren't looking to get married as quickly as possible and most aren't looking to make any concessions on what they want and why would they. Your perceived value is at an all time high when you're young so it only follows your expectations would match. You want to have fun, have experiences, have that fairy tale type of romance and you go thru many relationships looking for all of that but you learn and you mature and figure out what you want and need. Some people will never learn and they'll always be afraid to commit for fear of what they're missing out on but the majority of us aren't in that group. If you're running into the same experience now that you did when you were younger, you've either got really bad luck because you keep finding that group of guys who is afraid of what they may miss out on or you're just not the right girl for the guys you're meeting, it's easier to look outwardly and blame the guys for not being able to concentrate on one girl than to look internally and accept that you may not be what somebody else wanted. When a guy finds a girl he really wants to get to know better or is really interested in,  focusing on her isn't an issue.

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"Another problem is that many men that come to dating sites can't support a family, many want only shared expenses and this might be a problem."

 

and this differs from off line how? you're going to find men of all financial means on and offline, only difference offline is you're able to vet them quicker as it's right in front of you but if people are being honest in communication you can find out everything you need to know. I don't know what guys you're meeting online but who is asking you to share expenses lol

 

"Other men that work, do their business, usually don't hang in a net. Most likely the person that would fit me doesn't spend much time on these sites as he has a lot of interesting things in his real life going on and doesn't waste it too much on Internet"

 

this is an assumption you're making and a bad one at that. I own a fairly large company with offices in multiple countries, most of my friends are business owners or work in high level executive positions, we work endless hours but are connected constantly, finding downtime between responsibilities is an easy time to get online, between cell phones, laptops and tablets you're always wired in, always checking emails, always have multiple communication apps going, most of the single wealthy guys i know are online dating because it is simply the best return on time investment, and time is our most valued commodity. We don't have the luxury of having the downtime a 9 to 5er has to go out and meet women. The downtime I do have I am spending doing the interesting things you think guys like me are doing, I'm traveling, I'm engaging in sports, I'm volunteering, I've got other projects I've got started and on and on but again I'm always connected. You are more likely to meet somebody like me here than you are to meet me in my day to day because my time to chit chat with somebody I don't know is scarce.

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Vera, 50 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Billy on View the commented comment

Well maybe some of your assumptions are right. I think men in internet look for women under 35, I am 45, so I am not even shown in their search results, others look for women who are 10-15-20 years younger (I wouldn't agree to large age difference), some others look for women living within their city or country or in the place where they plan to travel anyway, also some want woman without small kids or only with grown-up kids living separately (my son is 7). If to speak about this site, during last months there were 0 emails to me if not to count turkish men very rarely or men to whom I sent a wink 2 years ago and they replied with a smile sign only now, but I wouldn't reply after person got back to me after so long time without explaining a reason or excuse why he replied so late. So it has nothing to do with positive or negative attitude as David thinks, there are just no mails, that's it.

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David wrote about a woman from this forum now living in USA whose opinion he values. Well I didn't meet men willing to take all expanses in moving a woman to USA. This woman David mentioned could pay for education of her grown-up daughter in USA and her own education in college or university in USA herself and she did so for herself and her daughter. So man could see that even if he pays for her ticket and supports her first 2 years, then she won't be a burden to him, as she will get her education and starts working. But I didn't meet men willing to pay for woman's education themselves. Most think that they can send a ticket and this should be enough for her to go, primitive thinking so to say. Well if I posessed the means like this now american woman did my opportunities of finding a husband would be wider as in this case it would be shared expenses so to say and many men would gladly agree to a woman who wants to share expenses and then can support herself so that man doesn't have to worry.


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Billy

Reply to Vera on View the commented comment

I'm surprised to hear you aren't getting attention on here, you speak english, you're smart and articulate and good looking, it seems like most of the men here are somewhere in your age range themselves so I legitimately am surprised. I'm not naive I know many guys are targeting out of their league,  and  well younger, thinking they hold higher value among Eastern Europeans than they do back home... based on nothing really. There is a quote that says like attracts like and if you can't land a high quality woman back home you're not going to land one here, these guys are fooling themselves. Some guys just need to be scammed or ignored to figure that out ...so knowing full well  that many guys here are thinking incorrectly I still would've guessed that your inbox was rather busy just not to the degree of the demographic you mentioned (sub 35 with no children) My opinion of men these days is low but I guess it's still not low enough lol

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Okay I better understand what you mean about expenses now...there is a financial burden on a man to take on somebody from elsewhere, further if there is a child involved. If a man isn't prepared to take that on fully or can't take that on fully I'm not sure why they're here. There is more to it than just the cost of the ticket as you mentioned, you have to set up your partner to have a life otherwise it isn't going to work. You can't ask somebody to uproot their life without giving them a life to come to. I guess again, I gave my brethren more respect than they deserve if many are trying to shirk the responsibiilties of having a foreign partner by trying to offload part of the expense on them. Simply put if you can't afford to play don't play. 


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Mila


Dave, I also want to participate in your discussion. I like the questionnaires of men, if the difference in age does not exceed 10 years. For example, if a man is 50 years old and he is looking for a companion in life from 40-50))) But if a man wants children, he certainly needs a younger woman, it's natural!   

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Vera, 50 y.o.

Russia

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Reply to Mila on View the commented comment

I don't agree, I am 45 and I can still have children. I gave birth to my son when I was almost 38, and after that 2-3 years later I could have more kids if I found a husband. But men maybe think women at this age can't have children. But it's not the main thing. When I was younger and wanted to find someone to have a family with kids, men wrote, almost all of them that they don't want kids. So they look for younger women not because of wanting kids, they just want to use a young body, then to throw a woman away and find another young body.


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David

Reply to Vera on View the commented comment

The oldest date I had arguably had the best body... if a girl has been very slim all her life and eat the right foods the body does not always age


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Svetlana


What's the matter? My elder son-in-law is 48, my elder daughter- his wife is 30 years old. My younger son- in law is 38, my younger daughter, his wife is 27 years old. I lived with man who was elder me for 30 years. As for me it is normal. Many younger than me men pay me attention in my real life. But it isn't my cup of tea. I prefer persons who elder than me for 10 and more years because it gives me feeling to be young and beautiful. I will be 50 years old after 2 months. And I have 4 grandchildren. But I don't want to feel myself an old person. People around me consider that I am only 30 although my silver hair. My desire is to enjoy life together with man who will give me possibility to feel me young and beauty during my last period of life.

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