Men & women
Olga
I want ask some questions to men on this site
Good day, everebody!I want ask some questions to men on this site. I think unswer will be intresting for all women from Russian Federation & CIS countries. it will help us to better understand each other.
1. Why do you realy want meet or marry russian-speaking women from the former USSR?
2. How do you develop your relationship in real life with russian women from dating site?
3. How do you see the first meeting in real life with your virtual girlfriend?
4. On what basis you choose women on dating site?
Добрый день всем!
Я хочу задать ряд вопросов мужчинам на этом сайте. Я думаю, ответы будут интересны всем женщинам из Российской Федерации и стран СНГ. Это поможет нам всем лучше понять друг друга.
1. Почему вы действительно хотите познакомиться или жениться на рускоговорящих женщинах из бывшего СССР?
2. Как вы себе представляете отношения с русскй женщиной с сайта знакомств в реальной жизни?
3. Как вы себе представляете первое свидание с виртуальной подругой в реальной жизни?
4. По какому принципу вы выбираете женщин на сайте знакомств?
Thank you all in advance for your answers and comments.
Заранее всем спасибо за ответы и комментарии.
To Olga ,
Hello , very good questions.I will try to explain my motives , for my search.At this moment , I don`t have much , personal contact with ladies from Russia or other CIS countries.But I believe , that the women in these countries , have a more distinct way , to how a woman should behave and prsent herself.To present herself , which means , the way she dresses and her personal appearance.
Of course , in the Western countries , women also have a good way , to their appearance and the way they dress.So , there must be some other facts , which makes me search for a woman in this part of the world.I believe , that feminism , like we know it in our countries here,was not so much alive , some years ago , in your country.But as we can see , time changes , and with the modern technology and the better communication abilities ,women in your country (Russia), seem to want to adept, to what they see and learn , in other Western countries.
For some of these ladies , these are new vieuws , on how women in the West ,think and live.What vieuws , Western women have , on their way of living.What the main goals are, in the lifes of Western ladies.Many of them wants to build a career , and then only after that , think about , to start a family.I believe , that this is also , because the opportunities for them are great.It is also partly , because women here , have the same rights as men.They can have the same salary and benefits , like us men .
Let me make it clear , I think this is a good way.And I believe that women must have all these opportunities.If a woman has the capacities , I think , that she should have the job , which in the past , was only reserved for men.And we know , that this is happening.Look who is now , the head of the IMF.Who is reigning over Germany.Many women here , have high ranked positions.
Women here can do many small household jobs.Like sanding and painting the house.Or hammer a nail into the wall.They don`t need a man for this.Of course , not all women are like that.But you get the idea.Is this also some inheritance , of this feminism ideology ??
Maybe.So , what are we men , now supposed to do ??Just work , and provide all the financial means ??But like I said , women also have these possibilities.They have all the chances , to have a succesful career.Which means income , and it gives them a great feeling of independency.
And that is also , what they learn , when they grow up.It is all about , to be a succesful woman , with a good career , and being independant.Which is of course good.Thinking about a relation or building a family , is at the end of the list.Is that a good thing , I don`t know.
Do we men feel , that we are not needed ??Sometimes , maybe.
So , I think that in Russia and other CIS countries , women think more , about starting a family.But I am sure , that in time , when they will have all the benefits , and the same rights as men , their vieuws on life will change.When you will have the same salary , for the same job , as a man , you will become more independant.Which means more personal freedom and more possibilities.
Will this affect your way of thinking , about the other gender ??It can.
How will you look at us men , when in time , you will have the same rights , the same possibilities , the same jobs , the same chances to build a career ?? I wonder.
Personally , I want to find an Eastern European or Russian woman , because it is another culture.They behave more like a woman , and want to make their homes cozy and pleasant.At this moment , many of the Russian women, still see a man as a man.And he must take care , of all the manly work , in and around the house.Will this make me feel more manly ??Certainly not , but it will be nice , to know , that your partner , wants you to do these things.
And she can give her attention , to other matters.Like decorating the house.I believe , that is something , that you should leave to a woman.
First meeting , in real life , should be relaxed , pleasant and honest.I can bring a small present for her.Because I am a man , and she is the lady.I don`t expect her , to give me something.It is better to give , than to receive.
But the most important thing is , to be yourself.
Well , to develop the relation in real life.I cannot say , I don`t have this experience.But if you mean , to keep in contact , after the first real meeting.Well , you can make phone calls , send emails.Use MSN or Skype.Just be polite , and show your interest , and be honest.
Show respect and tell about yourself , your daily life.Or your other family members or relatives.About your hobbies.
The criteria , to make a choice , depends on some things.Some of them ,I have mentioned above.In essence , it is about the first impression.Secondly , the description in the profile , and third the way , she presents herself , in the pictures.
Now , how have I done that in my own pictures ??Well I hope good.But of course , that is for you ladies , to decide.
So Olga , I hope , that I could have made it , a little bit clear for you.Of course , this is just my own , interpretation.
Other men , may have other ideas and other vieuws , on this.
I wish you a nice day
Olga
если все сразу и в лоб, Антонина, боюсь мужчины испугаются.
Olga
Good day, Eric!
Thank you for your answers. You first man, who bravely answered my questions.
Good luck in you search.
Olga.
Olga
Мне тоже будет очень интересно, Тиана. Пару дней назад визави мужского пола обвинил всех женщин сразу, что мы имеем только требования к мужчинам на сайте, но знать не желаем, чего же они хотят. Вот решила исправить нашу оплошность.Пускай мужчины напишут, чего они хотят и ждут от нас - женщин.
Lika
Очень приятно было читать Ваш ответ, Эрик. Логично, обоснованно, мудро.
Lika
Очень приятно было читать Ваш ответ, Эрик. Логично, обоснованно, мудро.
Svetlana
Hello Eric. The first what i can to say that i really wonder...i read carrefly all what you wrote and i agree with you...
Many times i was ubroad and i understand this,now i was 1 year about in Austria ,place where i lived there was many very nice man around,with nice houses and sucsseful life but the most of this man were single...i asked many time why and always heared that there is no real woman,all woman busy only with career...many man told me that really need a someone sweet tender,who will think about family,kids and home,who will be maybe not so independent...
And we are really so different...a hummer,oh,it was nice for me..my man one day came to me with a hummer and told me that i must make some work in a his garage...it was really surprise for me....yes,sure,when i alone maybe i can make some strong work but...if i with man who told me that hi loves me,and even if i really can to do some work with hummer but for me will be much better if i can show for my man that i am not so strong for this work,espeshialy when i have him in the near...i want to feel me like a woman,really woman...i want to be a tender,sweet,take care home my man,our kids but not make a work what should be for a man...onother way...how it will be possible to be a really woman when i work like a man,if i will make it then soon i loose all what i have from God...to be a woman....i will forget love,romantic,tendernes...i will be a man...
Sure,when i really need it i can be a strong and make many difficult things but...if i can be just a woman better for me to will use it ...
It was nice to read your opinion,thank you and sorry for my mistakes in English)))
Have a nice evening.
Vera
Отличные вопросы, Ольга!
На мой взгляд, не каждый мужчина способен ответить на эти вопросы даже сам себе, оставаясь наедине со своими мыслями. Я уже молчу о том, что не каждый мужчина способен сформулировать эти мысли для открытой аудитории. Возможно, здесь в теме
вы получите немного ответов от мужчин, но есть большая вероятность, что ответы на свои
вопросы вы скорее увидите в вашей личной почте.
Boris
Hello Olga, I think this is a great question and am looking forward to the discussion the topic generates. These are of course my own personal opinions and not trying to answer for men in general, but only for myself.
1. I want to marry an Eastern European woman (we'll use that term since it is shorter and more generic, but could include other nationalities that are not technically Russian) for many reason. I think that the family-oriented culture is much more appealing to me. In the US, people are more independent, even within the immediate family. I think Eastern European women are more feminine in their actions and appearance than Western and especially American women. I have taken to describing American women as often half-the-man. I have found Eastern European women to be more intelligent and well-studied. I like the ability to talk about different subject and have the girl have some knowledge about this. (As an example, I was discussing castles in Russian territory with one girl recently and the reason why there were castles near Kalingrad, but not further east. Many American girls cannot even identify Nebraska on a map.) I like the idea of melding the best of American culture with the best of Eastern European culture and making a family unit that is stronger than either separately. I think Eastern European women have more fashion sense and tend to take care of themselves better. They, in general, eat better, exercise more, know how to care for the home, the children and their men (frankly I think the men there are very stupid for not seeing this great gift). I want to treat my girl as a princess and put her first in my life, but you cannot do that if she does not also put you first and in general Western women are either too independent or too selfish to do that. [I will add that I was married to a girl from Minsk for 10 years and have met one girl on this site that nearly reached marriage proposal.)
2. For me the way to develop a relationship is first to identify some commonalities with the girl. There must be common interests because I think first the man and woman should be friends. After the passion has started to subside a little and the years have passed, life struggles will rear their heads. There must be a union that is strong. A foundation that will allow the marriage to succeed. And I want to be with this woman, so we must enjoy each other's company day to day and not just one vacation or in the bedroom. To me, I am looking for someone with common values first and a belief in God. Of course, the deal breakers must not exist. These are different for everyone, for me no smoking, not fond of tattoos. I think that there are some exchanges of letters of information about the life, family, dreams, goals, desires, interests, past experiences. If these are in common, then talk on Skype. It is much better to see the other person, if if the language barrier is total. I know enough Russian to help a conversation along, but you can still talk then type your words and translate them if needed. After I first met my ex-wife, we talked on the telephone with English-Russian dictionaries. Much easier now. For me then, if the friendship has developed and there is also mutual interest and desire, then the discussion can turn to meeting. I think along the way there needs to be a point where the conversation turns serious. Not just talk about the weather and jobs and movies. This is fine in the beginning, but eventually one person or the other will tire of superficiality. I think if the conversation does not start to turn serious, even a little, then it possibly is not going anywhere. For me, my relationship turned serious after 2 months with my ex-wife. With the other girl from the site, it was about 5 months, but she was not online as often, not having her own computer at first.
3. The first meeting is entirely dependent on the people, but if it does not happen at the airport / train station, then it was a mistake. Flowers of course! By this point, there should be some connection and serious feelings, so for me both meetings were very natural and comfortable.
4. The basis for choosing a girl on the site varies for everyone I think. I will try to be general in my terms. Obviously first of all the avatar image is the first item we see. I am shocked by the number of girls who have a picture of them either not smiling or unable to see their face. A picture without a smile is not open and welcoming and less likely to have someone even look at the profile. Just smiling makes a woman more attractive. For me a search would be based on the following criteria (not in order of importance): belief in God, not smoking, age range (too young can be immature and I am still wanting children), height (generally prefer the shorter girls). Only religious beliefs and not smoking are set in stone requirements. Then there should be a well-thought out and answered profile. The girl I met here and became serious with did not have the best profile picture (although she is a very beautiful girl). But her profile questions MADE me want to know her. In it I learned that she was serious marriage-minded and that we had common interests and ideas. She had an advantage in catching me before we even met because of this. If a woman is looking for a husband, but cannot even take the time to present herself and describe herself in words, then it can be considered as not really being very serious and just looking to chat. Lastly are the pictures. I personally am looking for a variety. I would like to see how she looks in natural environment, doing what she enjoys, with family, on vacation. Close up pictures and far away. With pets and children, if she has them. Just a bunch of model shots and pin-up pictures does not give the full idea and I think just draws the attention of the not serious men. For people who say not to include a picture in bathing suit, I disagree. I want my potential wife to be fit and beautiful, but I want to see her in all settings, so show the casual picture in T-Shirt and jeans at home too. For me the picture that drew my attention the most from my ex-wife was one where she was sitting on the floor in casual clothes and bare feet. With the other girl I became serious with, it was a picture of her in swimming pool with her hair pulled back and no make-up.
I hope this has some help or at least was interesting to the girls. Insight to at least part of one man's ideas on the subject.
Hello Lika ,
Well , I have had some serious thoughts , if I would begin to search for a partner , in Russia and other Eastern European countries.So , I had to make it clear for myself , if and why , I would want to start with this.
So , my search now has begun , and it is not just a whim.I had some good personal thinking about it.And of course , you have to think about the consequences , and what I am willing to sacrifice , when I will find a partner.
So , personally , I am ready for this.
I wish you all the best
Eric
Hello Svetlana ,
Everything that you have said , about the other men ,it sounds very familiar.And I understand , that your husband must do all the things , in and around the house , which he is supposed to do.Sure , you can do it , yourself , when the situation , is urgent.
But in normal circumstances, it is the job for your man.
So , just put him to work.
Thank you for your reply , and I wish you a good time.
Eric
Olga
подозреваю, что пока мужчина не сформулирует ответы хотя бы для себя, от виртуального общения он никогда не перейдет к реальному.
Olga
Спасибо за ответ, Борис, и за комплимент тоже.
Хотя, когда я бывала в Западной Европе, то видела не так уж и мало привлекательных западных женщин.
Удачи Вам в ваших поисках.
Olga
Thank you, Stiven, for detailed answer of my questions!
Wish you good luck!
P.S. With smile on photo i have problem, like other girs. I will work on this problem. & i'm not a short girl, very not shot. its not correctable yet ))
Good luck to you as well!
As for personal preferences, such as height, age, etc., I try to remember that we are not here to appeal to everyone. We are looking for one and therefore we can fail in our search 9999 times and it is irrelevant if we persevere and keep looking for the 1. And ideals are just that, while I may have a preference for green eyes (which my ex-wife had), my ex-girlfriend has the most beautiful big dark eyes I have ever seen. Some qualities and appearances are very important, others not as much.
hi, greetings from Mexico, i wanna told you my opinion...
1.- in my case, maybe i lost confidence in my last relationship, and the fact that need to be with someone to share myself and receive exactly the same, perhaps creating a future and a family ... also, the Russian women are the most beautiful in the world ...
2.- i have no opinion, it's my frist time, sorry ^¿^
3.- is difficult to imagine, first i should meet the girl to imagine her how would be she like in person.
4.- the information in her profile.
^¿^
Oksana
Hi Steven ,it was so pleasant to read your detailed message and know what the men' s goals are. There are so many complements for women in each lines of your letter. You are so much confident person and know exactly who you are looking for. I wish you good luck with it . Thanks for your letter .for each women it would be very helpful to read it and to know male's point of view . Bravo!
Olga
Ольга, спасибо за тему!
Thanks all the men for their answers! In fact a Russian woman (I mean all the post-soviet spase) unique creation: she will go into the burning house, and will stop the galloping horse, and feed and give you tenderness...
I wish all of you good luck in the search for the second half!
Donato
Hi Olga,
Well good questions))
1) because you are more pretty and feminine than italian or other European girls
2) best thing to do is to begin speaking and chatting with the woman outside this site using for example skype and meet for real each other into 2 months max
3) fantastic
4) i think it's a mix of things.. Aspect smile expression body language culture but Ayway everybody has different point if view
Olga
Davut
Saygıdeğer Hanımefendi,
Öncelikle benim insanları; etnik,dini,ideolojik vb.anlayışlara göre ayırt etme anlayışım yok. Ben, belki, insanlar ikiye ayrılabilir diye düşünüyorum. İlki iyi niyetliler,ikincisi bozuk niyetliler ve amaçsızlar. Ben burada şansımı arıyorum. Bnim ile aynı anlayışa sahip insanı bulmak için her yolu deniyorum. Size saygılarımı gönderiyorum.
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