Men & women
introverts or hiding something?
Hello there, I would like to hear anyone's advice about a subject.Lately I've been chatting with men with weird behavior. After a few neutral messages like "how was your day", "how's the political situation in Ukraine?", "How's the weather?" etc they write that they'll be getting a ticket to meet me in less than a month (one said that he will come in 5 days for tourism and to see me) and i find that very weird. All we found out about each other is our hobbies, what we are doing for living, and nothing really more.
I ask - aren't people suppossed to find out more things about each other before deciding to meet?
I mean we are from different countries and have different views on things.
When i tried to ask things like
Do you want your wife to be housewife or working? - the answer is "let's talk about this when we meet".
But excuse me, people want different things. For example a lot of muslim men want only a housewife, when a lot of women want to feel independant. Or what if i'm a hunter for a "rich hubby" but he wants her woman to work too?
Isn't that an important issue to discuss?
Or what if the man wants to make kids and woman doesn't or can't have? (or the other way around)?
I ask that, and I see a weird answer that such things should be discussed after meeting.
After meeting it might turn out we are different people, and then one of us or both think - "why i wasted time (or money for tickets and hotels) to visit ?
That makes me think that those men might be strange or hiding something.
Or is it normal? Am I too open and it is suppossed to be that way? Is it normal to talk only about weather before meeting?
Or is this a fear to trust? But if there is such a fear, maybe that person will always act this way?
I've created such topic because lately most men here act this way.
And after getting a message like this to a simple question
"we can speak about everything face to face in real meeting or skype.
First has to be real meeting, i don't expect anything just that you know me and i know you better."
And even in skype the talking is only about "how was your day" and "is your son sleeping? good." and nothing personal.
What is wrong with men? or me?
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Victor
Serás cabroncete... No es justo.. Tu juegas a otro nivel.. Las alojas,le pagas el billete...
Pero ese ya no es el caso de esta chica...
Oye Tom... Reparte un poco..jejejeje.
Anna:
He leído su articulo completo y pienso que Usted hace lo correcto. Cuando un hombre busca una relación seria, hace ese tipo de preguntas, cuando no es así, entonces las evita. Yo escribí algunos artículos al respecto, le invito a leerlos; están en esta sección de "Debate el ella". Le invito a leerlos.
Mira, no te entiendo: si tu viajas a conocer a una no te pagas tu billete? Bueno yo pago el suyo por que se venga ella! Que cambia? Gasto mas porque la mantengo aqui' como a una reina, pero el viaje me cuesta lo mismo!
Tu te iriaa a vivir en Rusia o Ukraina? Yo no! Entonces por que tengo que ir you allà? Para hacer cosa? Si fuera un turista sexual sì, pero no lo soy!
Victor
Bueno Tom,creo que tu lo que intentas es mostrar tu mundo,donde vives,como vives..
Pero tu lo has dicho: y... Si estos chicos la buscan en plan turismo sexual??.
Tu dices que la trataras como amiga y una reina.. Incluso les pagas el billete... Pero a una mujer para ofrecerle tanto honor, habrá cierto trato y conocimiento de esa persona... Cosa que esta chica se queja... De que NO ocurre. Apenas hablan cosas serías y le esquivan temas que para ella son importantes conocer... Sin embargo todo son promesas de visitarla..
Ella se encontraría en su casa con un desconocido..
Tu,cuando invitas es por existir ya una cierta confíanza y trato.
Son casos distintos.
Anna esta preocupada por que clase de chicos y que intenciones buscan con ella,si ser comunicativos ni sociables..
Anna,¿me equivoco?.
Albbina, зачем ставить диагноз и вешать на человека "ярлык"? Что это даст? Кому от этого полегчает?
Все люди разные, ну, вот он такой.
Анна, мне кажется, тут следует полагаться на свою интуицию, внутренние ощущения. Если вы чувствуете, что есть какой-то дискомфорт от общения с ним, что есть какой-то барьер, то лучше прекратить эту переписку и все.
Плохие мальчик прокладывают дорогу хорошим. Все впереди =)!
para el mundo,o una parte de el,se cree que tu pais ,esta en guerra con rusia..las noticias asi lo dejan ver..aunque es solo una paqueña zona???--eres sincera al querer saber tus verdaderos deseos,pero si le preguntas a un hombre ,que si desea que su futura mujer no trabaje..algunos huyen al matrimonio,a su zona de seguridad.tu..muy bien al preguntar.porque ahi vesel verdadero comportamiento del hombre,y lo que quiere..si es sincero,leal..algunos buscamos..a una amiga,a una compañera, que sea ..feliz-si quiere trabajar, pues apoyarla..y si desea el hogar,adelante..pero siempre apoyando y comprender
Hernan
Chaque homme est complétement différent , ma réponse c'est la mienne et ne tiens pas en compte que ma nature propre , cépendant ,je suis entièrement d'accord avec vous . tout d'abord l'homme encarne la partie charnel c'est un bête de sexe , de l'autre coté la femme encarne la conception , la délicatesse , la douceur , la tendresse , la gentillesse; pour être complémentaire une homme et une femme doivent être en équilibre sur ces aspects , vous devez decéler dans un homme ce ci. qui possède ces qualités que vous avez, je répète si un homme , est doux tendre gentil, plein de détails, sincère , intentionné; celui ci est vôtre homme pourquoi? et bien tout simplement car ce ne pas la nature intrinsèque d'un homme . s'il se manifeste de cette façon, cela voudra dire que ce homme là, a attend l'équilibre dans sa nature intérieur , les deux aspects pour qu'un couple soi heureux.
`s'il y a un déséquilibre sur ces deux aspect vous allez vous trouver , sois avec un homme trop pervers si vous préférez, celui qui voudrai avoir dix femmes , ou un homme un peu trop éphéminé qui bascule au délà du romanticisme, en d'autre termes une femme avec un corps d'homme. je n'insulte personne , je ne me permetre pas celà, mais c'est un fait.
la réel questions est de savoir, ce correspondant est il sincère? et bien c'est très simple laissez le milloter un certain temps sa nature propre va manifertera tôt ou tard, ainsi vous pourrez être sur ... une autre manière , si un homme ne peux pas vous parler des étoiles, des fleur des oiseaux , d'une peinture d'un artiste de faire une poèsie même de deux lignes de jouer la musique, de chanter, d'aimer les enfants de parler de faire la cuisine, de faire la vaiselle ou encore laver le linge ;vous pouvez être sur que vous êtes devant un mâle qui cherche femêle et non devant un homme qui cherche sincèrement cette femme qui lui rendra heureux et viceversa . aillez un peu d'intuition, d'abord regler vos problèmes intérieur à vous dans le cas contraire vous trouverez toujours ce qui vous ne cherchez pas en d'autres termes la personne qui est en face de vous vous montre ce que vous devez corriger en vous, une fois ce pas règlé votre homme ou femme va apparaître .
Hi Anna,
I am not going to try and explain how some men think as it seems most of those that have contacted you are not thinking at all. Surely they do not believe that after some small talk and limited dialogue you or any other woman will meet them and introduce them to family and friends. I truly believe these simple minded men are looking down on women from outside there country and assume they are in need of a knight in shining armour to sweep them off their feet.
Sadly i have been contacted by women who demand i visit them or send them money so they can get paperwork prepared for them to visit me so it's a two way street. I do not have the finances to drop evrything and go overseas to meet someone i hardly know and i will definately not send money to anyone. You are being smart and safe for being doubtful and curious.
Take care.
Olga
Sadly i have been contacted by women who demand i visit them or send them money so they can get paperwork prepared for them to visit me so it's a two way street. I do not have the finances to drope very thing and go overseas to meet someone i hardly know andi will definately not send money to anyone. // Крис, Ваша точка зрения на процесс знакомства с женщинами представляется мне очень ценной для женщин (говорю это абсолютно без сарказма), поскольку помогает женщинам отбросить иллюзии и понять для себя: чтО стоит за подобными словами и позицией мужчины, ждущего инициативы и полной оплаты прелюдии отношений исключительно женщиной. Просто я несколько раз была в Новой Зеландии и хорошо представляю, чего стоит добраться до этих прекрасных южнополушарных краев. Как прекрасно и многоговоряще, что решение этой задачи возлагается исключительно на женщину. Это не менее круто, чем за свой счет долететь, например, до далекой ЮАР )
the behavior of some men seems more likely that handle various meetings and not committed to a person not to miss the chance to meet others , and depends on the woman realize that apathy and evaluate often not everything that glitters is gold because some beautiful pictures and an interesting profile is sometimes just a hook to have a range of possible candidates in this context the talk and learn from it as a priority and denotes the degree of maturity and personality of the person, not wrong chat with several people, but obviously due to the interest in knowing which one would know , since time is money and is not required to be in person to do it , trust more in his sixth feminine sense and discard those knights denoting that only take anodyne talks because if so start with the imaginense courtship with a more developed relationship pd . a smile : )
Andrew
I think the proper word you are looking for is "aloof." Almost, as we say, "too cool for school." I recently met someone here that is very similar to what you described. Is it that people don't want to share or they think we are in a hurry? Talking about the things you mentioned are things that a normal person asks. Views on family, home life, and roles in the relationship are things that a person with good serious intentions wants to know. I have found asking the simple stuff gets boring after awhile. Maybe I am weird but I don't mind the serious talk. Its good to get that stuff out of the way. Its great to see someone else sees the same thing but I have found it in the opposite sex here. I feel kinda weird having to ask about the things that are just questions anyone would ask and when pushed...well....I am "in a foolish rush" or "dumping my life" on another. I like to know someone and their recent history so I can know about their future some. Its really frustrating to he tagged as OVER eager when ll I want is regular relationship stuff. Good luck.
Salvador
In my case I went to Moscow on December 2014 to visit my dear friend and arrange business.
After that I spent moscow alone.
Then a great lady talked to me and met easily always in public places.
We have had great time She with her Italian and me with my Spanish. Finally we use phone translator and now we are great friends.
If "he" is a bad or no convenient person, so, say good bye and never give personal information UNTIL you are sure about the person.
We can manage with freedom and without hindrances the process of acquaintance.
You can invite someone to escort you.
Just use common sense and women are so perceptive.
(Yes , women are totally equiped to sense and feel the way we the men will talk and his non verbal language will tell you a lot, women have that gift, as only few men have it also)
Salvador
Salvador
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