Men & women
First Date - What a man and woman should discuss - right away
On a first conversation, or a first date, a man and a woman generally do not discuss ***anything*** important - they do not get answers to ***any*** of their most important questions. Thus, they learn nothing important about each other. We are adults now, not teenagers. On a first date, we should share our most important "must haves". If these "must haves" are discussed, we can know in one meeting, or one conversation, if there is ***any chance*** that we will be a match. Men are afraid to discuss "must haves" and especially sexual preferences. Women rarely invite this discussion, because most women are too insecure, too afraid, and too worried about their appearance of their first impression. A confident woman is able to discuss her sexual preferences. In summary, the most important topics between a man and a woman should be discussed in the "very first serious conversation, or the very first date". If there is compatibility with the "must haves", then there is plenty of time to flirt, and chat, and spend time together. Especially if a man is traveling half-around the world to meet you... please be honest and up-front about your "daily routine" and your "must haves" and your sexual "I like to do these acts / I do not like to do these other acts". I have "put my money, where my mouth is...". I have listed my basic "must haves" on my profile, including what type of sexual behavior that I "must have". For me, it is simple... I like a lot of foreplay and to share/receive oral sex. I will never perform anal sex, it is repulsive to me. I like a woman to wear tasteful lingerie, so I can gently take it off of her. A few sex toys, oils, and massages are great foreplay. I will not participate in any fetish or bondage or other deviant sexual conduct. If a woman says, "no", then I respect that. I am not offended. If a woman says, "yes", then I will satisfy her, because it is my sworn duty as a virile man. Do you see? It is easy to discuss. We are adults.
My idea of the "Top 10" for a great first conversation over the phone:
(What do you think? thumbs-up or thumbs-down ?)
1. Let's avoid small talk - Instead, let's simply introduce ourselves.
2. Let's share our practical goals and desires of our daily routines.
3. Let's identify the "must haves", right away.
4. Let's disclose our sexual preferences, and don't be shy, we're adults.
5. Let's discuss where we will live.
6. Let's touch on our parenting styles.
7. Let's say your first name with my last name.
8. Let's plan for our first meeting.
9. Let's establish a mutual trust.
10. Let's give each other a genuine opportunity to match, and not make a hasty decision, just because we are nervous to meet or chat the first time.
Robert ,
It`s your right to have a free speech of mind.And I`m not denying that.
But , to what type of women are you referring in your post ?
I mean , do you talk about American women or women from another Western country ?
On this site , there are more women from E Europe and Russia.
Is your post , for the most part , addressed to these women ??
Reading your post , I get the idea , that you are having a conversation with a prostitute.
While that sometimes may be good , I`m not sure if it`s the apropriate way , to manifest and profile yourself on here!
Sure , we are adults and many items must and can have a time and place , when and where we can discuss them.
As adult man and wife/partner.
Just because you have to travel half of the world , You find it very convenient , that the lady ,must tell upfront , what her personal erotic and sex wishes/desires are?
And she should discuss them , openly and freely , with you in the correspondence ?
Well , I don`t know about you , but I personally , would not want to discuss my personal sexual desires , with a completely unknown and unfamiliar stranger.
Who I have never met before.
I personally believe , that you are degrading all these respectfull women , in Russia and in the CIS countries , by your post!
To me it sounds more , like a person , who is only interested , to come to EE or Russia , to meet a woman ,if she has said upfront , what she likes/dislikes , when it is about sex.
If that is your only criteria to make the trip , well , I wish you much luck in finding a compatble life partner in this part of the world.
I personally believe that you may be better off , in finding a local woman.It will cost you less money.
But you don`t have to take my advice , of course .
Eric
Lara
Спасибо, Eric!Я благодарна Вам за Ваш пост.И я согласна с каждым написанным Вами словом. Очень приятно, что у некоторых мужчин есть иной взгляд на первую встречу. Удачи Вам.
Lara ,
Well there are different countries with different people.It is no secret that the times they are changing.
Feminism has gotten hold of many individuals.Men and women.
For the most part , feminism is still only very heavily established in the USA and other Western countries.
And for sure , some persons have gotten the idea , that it is allowed , to say everything AND anything , on a first date.
Wait , no , not even on a first date!
Some want to talk about it , in the first correspondence !!!
Yes , ideology has changed for the worse.
Understanding that women in Russia and in the CIS countries , still have that respectful and honorable tradition , is something that Western men ,should learn.
Not knowing the culture , the traditions , the vieuw on life and the merits of these people (women) , can and will lead to disaster (if it should come to a date).
And if you have never learned to be a gentleman , you sure will not be one , when you visit EE and Russia.
A high moral and understanding , is the least you should bring with you , when you come to visit these countries.
Lara thank you for your support and your kind words.
I wish you all the best also.
Eric
Julia
Eric, i would not blame all western men in general, as well as i wouldn't defend all eastern men in general I think, is is a matter of good manners, including respect to yourself and other, and this not depends of your place of birth.
Julia ,
I am/was not blaming ALL foreign men.And I also understand , that the local men in EE and Russia , are not all angels either.
What I am trying to say , is that feminism (the so-called equality for women and men) has shaped people in the Western countries.
It is not only the influence of feminism.
Feminism has left it`s marks , and many young people of today have learned that the way they behave is the right way.
Just watch some American tv series , especially made for the young generation.
On MTV the youth channel : I see "Geordie Shore" .
In my own country we had the sort of same tv series.
Then there are the reality tv series.Some do follow those younger persons on their vacation.
And filming all their (sometimes undecent) behaviour and sexual escapades.
Well , I was young also and for sure can understand the situation(s).
But I believe that filming all this , just to have a tv program and to make (a whole lot of) money , is making me wonder , if there is still some moral and decency left , in our society.
So , again , I`m not saying that every Western man , is bad.
That is why , I used the words - "And for sure , some persons have gotten the idea , that it is allowed , to say everything AND anything , on a first date."
That said , I am not a preacher to the world.
And I do admit , that reality tv , has also made it`s way , into Russia and EE.
There is a certain freedom , to make more sort of progressive and shocking tv videos.
And , yes , there is a huge competition in tv land.It doesn`t matter in which country you are.
For the most part , there are still women in Russia and in CIS countries , who still have not been infected by feminism.
They still have the virtues and characteristics of how a woman should understand the family life.
They know , that their man/husband , is the person they must rely on!!
So , looking for a womanizer , is not on their list.
While a Western woman , may or may not care for that fact.These Western women have other vieuws and goals.
Starting a family , is not that HIGH on their list!
And , that is why , I am defending the traditional women from the former Sovjet Union.
It is my strongest believe , that a true traditional EE and Russian woman is a gift from heaven.
If you are Lucky enough , to find HER !!!
SHE WILL UNDERSTAND HER ROLE IN THE FAMILY.
If Western men would understand these women`s background and nature ,they surely would not want a Western wife.
But this is just MY PERSONAL VIEUW ON EE AND RUSSIAN WOMEN
Eric
Nadya
Можно попросить топикстартеров ставить пометку перед топиком если они пишут о личных сексуальных предпочтениях или практиках? Или выкладывают контент с эротической-сексульной тематикой. Либо попросить модераторов сайта делать это.
Не даром же во многих странах вся печатная и видео продукция снабажется рейтингами - PG-13, R, NC-17 ... Нужно какое-то предупреждение, потому что поначалу начинаешь читать - ничто не предвещает, а потом оп, и читаешь совсем неожиданный контент.
Serdar
Robert, If you are in this site just to find a partner for a quickie or for casual sex, you are in the wrong place... And you obviously have limited information about the eastern european women. Ok we all know that they look great, and they are much more feminine than any other women in the whole world but it doesn't mean that they will go to bed in the very first meeting with you, even if you travelled half of the world to see her. Travelling thousands of miles to see her doesn't give you an automatic right to have sex with her at all!!! In the US there is really stupid expectation that if a man invites a woman to a dinner date, he is almost guaranteed for sex! That is really absurd!
There is a significant difference between an eastern european woman and a western woman (US/Canada/UK/west Europe) in terms of how they consider relationships and intimacy. If they are here in this site, then they mostly want to establish something serious, and it means they want to see how caring, respectful, trustworthy, hardworking and a good person the man is than how his sexual virility is ! Yes, of course, sex is also important but there are far more important things for an eastern european woman if she wants to establish a family, than sex alone... It is best if you do not even mention it , until you get very close personally. And it is better to wait until you establish a good respecting relationship . You may want to show some interest in her character, brain and soul first, and establish a good frienship, and share things and do some (intellectual or fun or anything you both like) activities... Then, hopefully intimate things may follow... If it doesn't happen naturally on its own momentum, than it means that she isn't into you and there is no need to even mention sex...
best of luck...
Marina
Nadja
теперь мы все знаем каким ты сексом занимаешься и с кем.Это не скромно.Только ещё больше позаботься о том чтобы эта красавица не вернулась назад для новых поисков.Счастья вам!!!
Lara
Добрый день Eric! Спасибо за Ваш ответ. Поздравляю Вас с Новым годом. Желаю Вам всего хорошего. Пусть Ваши мечты сбудутся в этом году.
Lara ,
Thank you for your New Year wishes.
And likewise , I do hope and wish that 2017 , will bring only Happiness and True Love for YOU.
May the hand of the Mighty watch over you , and let your path be full of beautiful and lasting encounters.
Keep up the spirit and God bless
Eric
Julia
Sam, i always appreciate your comments - they are well thaught, taktfull and exactly formulated, regardless, what kind of message this man, the topicstarter, wanted to represent to all of us.
Olga
Пост в разделе "Между нами, девочками".закрытый для мужчин
Чужую беду руками разведу,придёт своя-...
Nadya
Да, это самая печальная история, которую я тут прочитала.
Olga
Nadja
Sofya
A chem zakonchilas ta istoria? yehala devochka ili net? Ya ne videla ranshe etot post.
Nadya
Последнее, что я читала - ее мама сообщила, что Александра сейчас живет в Мексике, это всё, больше информации от них я не видела.
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