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Devin

What is wrong with the girls on this site?

Back in 2008, I was on this site before, there was a lot of girls that were friendly and interesting on this site. Now seven years later, it seems that girls on here are stuck up and unfriendly. I got blocked for no reason for just saying hello. Being on this site before, I see familiar faces on this site... And now the site is overrun by young stuck up girls that are born in the 1990's that just want to promote their self esteem. Please don't write to my mail, I'm just stating my opinion. It seems like over the years the girls on this site have definitely changed. Russian girls have better personality than this from my past experiences on this site(in different times) Now on this site, I just see a bunch of American wannabes. For the young girls on this site... Why can't you all join a social network and put your baggage there? This is a dating site, not a game site. If you want to block me just because of the color of my skin then do it... But you don't know nothing about me. Also, if you don't want to talk to the guy anymore... Let him know... Don't abandon the correspondence. Stop promoting your self esteem. What happened here!?

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Lidia, 44 y.o.

Russia

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Real users are real users. The same as in the real life there cannot be 100% of positive replies, as all real people are unique and searching for something that they would like to find. If the users is a scammer he/she will reply to all the users, no matter of age, appearance, country, height, etc, so you would have 100% of positive replies in this case. But we are doing our best to keep the site clean of scammers, as we doubt a lot that you would like to waste your time or money for communicating with scammers. We are sure that you would like to communicate with real women who are interested in real relationships instead of scammers. And real women can have their tastes and preferences, sometimes they reply, sometimes they don't.

But we think that it might be also our fault, as we introduced the reply rate on the site that allows other users to see that this user is real and replying to the first messages. To keep the reply rate high users need to send a message back, but not always they want to communicate with this or that user, so it is easier for them to block a man instead of writing a polite reply why they do not want to communicate with him. We will think on introducing a feature that would allow sending an automatic polite refusal message if the person is not interested in communication instead of blocking.


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Victoria


" if you don't want to talk to the guy anymore... Let him know... Don't abandon the correspondence. Stop promoting your self esteem. What happened here!?"

Devin, let me reveal to you a little secret. I don't know how the men behaved on this site 7 years ago, but now they often do the same what you write about the girls.

I don't approve such actions on either side, but -- probably -- it's just a grim reality of our life.

Some men and women here are polite and well-behaved, I know. Our task is just to find them.  

Good luck!


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Natalya


Здравствуйте! Не ищите причин такому поведению девушек по отношению к Вам в себе. Их может быть много, но основная - отсутствие элементарной культуры. Многие мужчины ведут себя так же... Удачи!

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Helga, 44 y.o.

Russia, Other

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Могу дать следующий ответ на интересующий вас вопрос: предполагаю, что за столько лет уже многие вас знают, уже все всё выучили, поэтому и не откликаются.


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Elena


Девин, ваш уровень ответов 42%. А почему вы не всем девушкам отвечаете? В чем причина?   

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Nadia, 65 y.o.

Russia

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Davin!
Why do you wrote: "If you want to block me just because of the color of my skin..." Skin is skin-no more! What inside it-which person, who can be MAN OF DREAM?Every lady thinking of it...I saw yellow, black good men in my Church, when I was in Europe.What kind of MAN you are? What are you ready to give your lady and what are you want ask her?What kind of heart and soul do YOU have? Ask byself it! Be happy!

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Doug, 67 y.o.

United States

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Oh please, please! Allow me to answer this!

Devin, I remember when you left, almost two years ago; I was just arriving, but have never forgotten your forum comments before you left. Somewhere, in the archives, is that post and my response, but for those who do not wish to search, I will respond again, having now almost 2 years of familiarity.

Is anyone curious why I specifically remember you, Devin? The exact same mannerisms you are showing right now, of which I am embarrassed as an American.

You pretentiously appeared on the site, as if you were God's gift to women, and immediately begin insulting these intelligent and sophisticated women with snide remarks and disrespect, while simultaneously whining that you are somehow being mistreated; a victim of your skin color. Nothing could be further from the truth.

This is a fabulous site. The owners are proactive and responsive to the needs of their clients; they work diligently to insure there is no better site to meet women, and this site is the best! The girls, many of whom I have known for some time, are remarkable; they are not (as you claim) “stuck up!”

`


Slavic women are polite and espouse excellent manners; unfortunately for you, Devin, they are particular and have higher standards than you are presently able to meet. That is not their fault, it is yours! Your failed understanding of social protocol is stunning. You did not get blocked for “no reason”; you were blocked for a reason, which in seven years you have yet been unable to determine. We know this because you have returned to repeat the same faux pas' that were destroying your chances when I first arrived. Your approach to women is condescending, impudent and unacceptable in civilized society.

Amazingly, you’re incredulous to be experiencing the exact same rejection you received when you first displayed this same rudeness. Your sad response is, once again, to blame and insult the ladies because, obvious to you, your complete absence of culture and social protocol could not possibly be a factor.

You have learned nothing, Devin! After years of failing Basic Communication 101, you return with the same distasteful disposition to take the same test and immediately blame the professor for the result! It is your personal social skills that hamstring your chance of finding a lady. Devin, you da’ man! Own it!

Let me be clear! This site is not “overrun with stuck up girls” (your words); it is generously blessed with thousands of amazing, beautiful, sophisticated women, whom you, once again, ostentatiously offend, right out of the gate; a replay, almost word for word, of your first failed experience. You have the utter gall to offend to these women on their own turf, calling them “self-promoting” and “American wannabees” and you think you’re going to get a date? Son, when you beat the horse with a baseball bat, does she still give you ride!? Believe me, My friend, you are in no danger of one of these women sending you mail (but you already realize this, don't you?)

Smart men understands that denigrating women as “stuck up b*tches and hoes” is counterproductive to meeting a girl. Where did you learn this? I suspect that approach doesn’t work down the “hood”, either, because you have returned. You clearly see yourself as a suave, debonair, smooth-talking macho dude whom these women should thank God that you ever gave them the time of day. We all see something much different.

/* cut by the administration of the site */

These girls demand a man show them respect; a gentleman would treat them like a queen. You wouldn’t get away with this here in the US; she would run you out of the house with a shovel. Many of these girls have already been mistreated. You’re old news; they can just as easily be abused here. Not necessary to travel to America for another tragedy and broken heart.

You require major attitude reconstruction before you’re ready for any non-abusive relationship with any woman; that kind of change must be accompanied by sincere regret and humility. Is there even a remote possibility of that occurring? Until that happens you are a very real danger to every woman on this site, and the managers need to be aware of this. You see, I’m an American, too, and I know you. The girls are not the ones with the baggage; you are.

One thing I find really amazing, is that irrespective of your appalling discourtesy, Devin, some of these girls have the grace and good character to wish you well. I guarantee you, every one of these women is your intellectual equal and probably superior; they are fully capable of putting you in your rightful place (if only for purposes of their own entertainment). Despite your reckless disregard, they have still shown you respect. Believe me; it’s not because they like you!

I am trying to be careful with my words because of three superb and competent moderators, for whom I have the highest respect, who must decide whether to allow my response to post. (Could not possibly be as offensive as the opener.) I pray they do, because as an American I have a right to confront my countrymen when they become a crass embarrassment to myself and my country. As well, Devin, you must hear and honestly consider these words. The world has had enough “ugly Americans” and so have I. I’m a paying member of this site and I defy any simpleton to come here and jeopardize my opportunity to find the dream of my life. And somewhere, she is probably here!

After almost two years, I have watched these girls endure a huge amount of incivility from crass and insensitive men. In their admirable search for a decent man, they must sift an enormous amount of chaff to find one good grain, and then there’s no guarantee to be chosen. Yet they continue to honor us men by searching us out and believing in us, and by God, we need to respect that. These extraordinary ladies deserve the utmost reverence and I refuse to permit any egocentric, socially-dysfunctional cretin to insult them and myself, while we are about the critical task of discovering our future partner.

You arrogantly appear on the scene as if you are somehow God's gift to women; you immediately begin calling these wonderful and sweet ladies disparaging names, while whining that they are somehow treating you differently, because you are black.

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Tatyana, 57 y.o.

Ukraine

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Devin, good afternoon or evening. Let me tell you something about you and about women, but not for you to take offense, but for you to think and observed their reactions and thoughts. Such a small educational campaign against illiteracy.

Psychologists tell us for a long time that We reflect subconsciousness each other, we - mirrors.

So far, we remain kind To each other, or We are irritable, so much there is a response to us, but not because these people were not the ones on our way, but because we choose bad mood, reactions, thoughts against them.

We often do not think that The small critical idea to physical appearance of the opponent can cause aggressive reaction.

That's all you can easily keep track of them, when you begin to relate to situations from the perspective of "I want to correct their mistakes, provocations that lead to the corresponding reaction of other people," while the circumstances immediately change for the better.

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People are not to blame for their reaction towards us, their behavior only reflects our inner state, our respect, our humility and tolerance or intolerance.

And yet reveal to you a little secret: women very differently react to flirtation, therefore, not to be offended by their reaction, it is better not to flirt. Flirting is obtained only in those men who are born with love in heart to the mother and to the woman and got the right education - respect for the woman, the mother in any situation, even when a woman makes mistakes

Modern psychologists today argue that success in business and society have those men who respect women and not offended by a woman ever under any circumstances, because then any woman - this is a mother. And when a man takes offense at a woman condemned, insulted her, he offends his mother, Mary.

We should all learn to correct tactful speech in relation to each other. This practice is not a month or even a year.

Now take your phrase where you say that in 2008 were still on this the site. Ask yourself the question: "Why am I here again? Why do women respond properly to me? Maybe the whole thing in me? Maybe it is I do not give proper attention and respect? Maybe it I start a dialogue with women was not quite right? Maybe I am too confident in himself ? All these situations show me that I was not righted that I'm wrong? What are my mistakes? " And then you, God and the angels, or the flow of information will give answers to all questions. And your task, Devin, true to treat the inner workings of himself and his character.

We are always the instigators of any situation ...

And now commonplace horoscopes. Whatever people may say about them, they are very strong influence on all of us as long as we just live and have our being: woke up, washed, did exercises, ate, went to work, came back, ated, looked fun, ate, washed, has laid down to sleep.

In this case, Your horoscope and Your name and Your upbringing and Your environment Influences you very much.
Therefore, your body can not solve all the problems in communication, even when your body is beautiful and well maintained.
This requires an assistant - Soul. And we can properly educate and awaken the sleeping soul ...

Therefore, when a person has in the horoscope sign of a very complex, especially at you, to you it makes sense to start with this point of reference, to change something in yourself to get the results that you want to have.
This is very serious work on themselves.

We must abide by the rules of tact on the common platform. There is no room for details. It's a conversation an individual, it can affect your pride and break your false beliefs and misconceptions.

In the meantime, I wish all the participants to read the book of John Gray's "Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

In the picture the sages phrase: Anything that you create for others, God will create for you
I wish you good heart, Devin. 

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Tatyana, 57 y.o.

Ukraine

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Reply to Doug on View the commented comment

Thanks for the support, Doug. It's so great to have bold wise men who wish zaschit women. I even cried while reading your opus.
I wish that God will help you to find your favorite and the angels light your way.
We create our own reality. Only we can change it. 

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Helga, 44 y.o.

Russia, Other

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Reply to Nadia on View the commented comment


"Skin is skin-no more! What inside it-which person"

 

Вы спрашиваете, почему кожа?

 

Здесь кто-то из форумчанок поднимал момент, что будет, если отказать мужчине на "Мамбе" и какие слова при этом можно прочитать. Так вот а это иностранная реалия: если не делаешь то, что от тебя требуют, становишься "расистом". А это очень серьезный "аргумент" в некоторых западных странах, до такой степени серьезный, что многие не связываются и делают, что от них требуют. На данный момент это большая проблема в США и не только.

 

Автор темы пока не в курсе, что у нас оно не работает (у нас же одни только "дети Олимпиады" подтверждают склонность к "дружбе народов") потому использовал привычный ход.

 

И форумчанин Даг прав: такую ветку с одинаковыми практически начальными постами автор открывает примерно каждый год.


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Esti

Reply to Doug on View the commented comment


О-па-на! вот это да!...
Как взрыв бомбы)) Уникальное событие на сайте..впервые -честно,как на отмашь.

Все что здесь написано есть ключик ко всем вопросам, ко многим неблагоприятным ситуациям, в которые попадают наши женщины....
Четка указаны причины...и последствия


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Irina


Привет ты хороший парень у тебя все получитсяты обязательно найдешь свою любовьудачи тебе

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Doug, 67 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Tatyana on View the commented comment

Thank you, kind Tatyana.  

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Doug, 67 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Esti on View the commented comment

Esti, I recall another guy posting on this page, my first week. Probably only Helga would remember all the details, but I will do my best. (Helga remembers everything 😏 

His first forum appearance, "Gary" announced himself and showed casual photos. He was not unattractive, but un-kempt. He did not appear as a man ready for a date; maybe to apply for a job as a garbage truck driver.   I have seen better-groomed homeless people in Philadelphia. After announcing he may look a little scruffy, he assured the girls he kept himself clean.

In his 30s or 40s, he had a moustache, long beard and waist-length "rasta braids" that looked like great tenticles protruding out of his head, all protected by a straw hat; I can only imagine the investment in that "hair". He stated he was disabled, confined to a wheelchair and had no savings; however, he would soon be receiving a modest disability check that came twice a month and if they were careful he and "some lucky girl" could live happily in his "paid for" mountain cabin. He then proceeded to list age, height, weight, and a host of related requirements, concluding with a statement that, in no uncertain terms, would he even consider getting a haircut.

`


Gary had sent 300 form letters to 300 hand-chosen women from the galleries and waited three weeks for the expected flood of responses. Since it was the "Share the Advice" forum, he was asking the group, “Why, after sending out 300 of these letters, had he received only one response from one girl?”

I imagined myself in some room with all these women, looking around at each other, everyone afraid to speak first, biting their lip to keep from laughing. At the time, having just reprimanded Tatyana’s newest client, I wasn’t sure I wanted to answer two complex questions in a row, but finally I ventured what seemed to me to be most obvious answer:

“Gary, maybe the one girl who responded was blind!“  

We should laugh often at life to smooth the rough places in the road. Sometimes I wear a beard; I don’t like shaving. It is neat and close-cut. For 35 years, I have worn a mustache. For over three decades, no one has seen my upper lip; however, am also aware how many Slavic girls feel about facial hair. Heck, many Slavic men even shave their heads! I guarantee, if some beautiful, wonderful girl were to show me the right attention and that were even a consideration for her, that mustache would be off so fast- it would be gone in 20 minutes! I would keep the razor blades in the cupboard, just in case!

I have learned the hard way, there are far worse things than not being married. One of those is being married to a selfish, pompous, ignorant jerk, who is not your intellectual equal, but still demands control of your life. Many Russian and Ukrainian wives in the US are insanely happy with their new man and home; but some are now living in a worse hell and pray they could be back in their home country with friends and family whom they love.

I encourage you to never be afraid to make reasonable demands in a relationship. Demand respect, maintain your pride and hold men accountable. Your "self-esteem" is critical to your happiness, and it is your business; any man who cares about you, should sense if your self-esteem is low and quickly build you up, without being asked, out of the compassion in his heart. Never confuse love and control, or you will never experience tenderness; a great percentage of men fail here; you don't want this. If he will not be held accountable, dump him. You are too good for that. Just my thoughts...oh, and yes, read "Men are from Mars; Women are From Venus!  

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Helga, 44 y.o.

Russia, Other

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Reply to Doug on View the commented comment


Да, того парня, который русскую культуру "маленьким пузырем" назвал, я помню.  

 

Еще есть странный момент: он пытался рассказать аудитории, что его пособие, эквивалентное 30 000 рублей - приличный доход для России, на который, внимание: его семья должна будет жить вместе с будущими детьми, рождения которых он требовал. Откуда у него такое представление о России, что интересно? Почему он считает, что здесь люди кидаются на стеклянные бусы?

 

Страноведческий интерес просто: какие же нестандартные представления о России (aka слухи) ходят в США.

 

 


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Esti

Reply to Doug on View the commented comment

Самое простое и одновременно опасное знакомство в социальных сетях
Мне понравилось как вы написали о маленькой тайне спрятанной под усами)) Даже такая ,казалось бы,скрытая физическая мелочь, может привести к большой беде в будущей семье)

Что уж говорить о тайнах Души и характера ,целях пользователей социальных сетей..остается только возможность грустно вздыхать.
В своем возрасте я не хочу быть обманутой, брошенной, ограбленной и униженной каким виртуальной воришкой женских сердец.
Появляется Извечный русский вопрос "Что делать?"

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Helga, 44 y.o.

Russia, Other

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Reply to Esti on View the commented comment


"В своем возрасте я не хочу быть обманутой, брошенной, ограбленной и униженной каким виртуальной воришкой женских сердец.


Появляется Извечный русский вопрос "Что делать?"

 

Вопрос действительно исключительно русский. Поскольку в то время, как у нас любят сами вопросы и серчают на ответы к ним (то есть предпочитают процесс под названием "жаловаться"), в западных культурах любят искать к ним решения. Потому им давно известно, что мозги - неплохой девайс, вполне защищающий сердце от грабителей, воришек и прочей недостойной публики.

 

 


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Esti

Reply to Helga on View the commented comment


О! какие люди!)) за что честь мне такая))
Конечно, доктор, все строго по вашему рецепту

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Doug, 67 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Irina on View the commented comment

Thank you, Irina.

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Doug, 67 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Helga on View the commented comment

Does not matter where he developed this concept, Helga. It is the result of juvenile thinking and arrogance. The arrogance is what annoys me; even a person who is not very smart can be enjoyable to be around, if they have nice personality; arrogance and stupidity is a lethal combination!  

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Doug, 67 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Esti on View the commented comment

What I was trying to say, Esti. I my sweetheart really wanted me to shave my mustache, I would do it for her. Those are little things. If a man will not give on the little things, you are in trouble on the bigger ones.


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Esti


На одном из международных сайтов, над фотографиями пользователей (только мужчин) можно оставлять комменты
Над большинством фотографий написано одно и то же. Врун, обманщик, женат,даже пишут настоящие имена и возраст , видимо из опыта встречи...)))
Выглядит сайт как картотека Уголовного Розыска)

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Doug, 67 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Esti on View the commented comment

Those men are an embarrassment to all men; sadly the world is becoming less trustworthy. My father taught my brothers and me that above all, a man's integrity and character was the most important. I am fortunate to have had a father like this. Please refer to my new post: "A woman needs a man who will break the nose of the man who insults her, and then make her breakfast in bed!"

 


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Olga


seven years on the site. What purpose are you following? 

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Doug, 67 y.o.

United States

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Reply to Olga on View the commented comment

  Everyone has to be someplace! Xaxaxaxaxa!

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Kazakova, 50 y.o.

Ukraine

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Your letter is interesting to me though saw it with some delay. What to tell you? Nonsense was written concerning skin color. What for nonsense? The person can't be estimated on skin color or even appearance, the person is judged on his acts. You're right, on the site the great variety of mercantile persons, but unless among foreigners, including among citizens of your country such isn't enough? On the example in other marriage agency I receive many letters from the scammers who are generally living in the USA and Canada. There are most different men, with different skin color there. Skin color not an indicator in the relations with people. By the way in this agency scammers are practically not present.
You know in what the reason of female commercialism? Girls don't want and can't work. I worked and studied from 17 years, had a rest in business trips, holiday I had no 11 years, all my operating time in commercial structures. Cars, trains, planes (motor ships, I don't love them) - here my life. Cities and persons, kilometers of roads. I didn't wait that someone will put a money in my pocket and will buy a gift. Now the tale of the prince works from abroad, naive Singarella forget that the prince works and has the credits, and plows from morning to the night not to support the Russian beauty. But the reason of it is a family in which the girl wasn't accustomed to work and that cent to cent - dollar, but these cents she needs to earn most.

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Paul, 56 y.o.

Canada

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All true words women just like men writing to them telling them how beautiful they are.. 





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