Should a man pay the woman for her trip to him when they first met?

Дорогая Мария, я восхищаюсь рискованными женщинами. КТО НЕ РИСКУЕТ, ТОТ НЕ ПЬЕТ ШАМПАНСКОГО. ДумаЮ, что Вы делаете все правильно

Io ho incontrato qualche signora finora e ho quasi sempre pagato tutto, anche i visti in alcuni casi. Ora vi chiederete: come mai sei sempre qui? Semplice: alla nostra età non è facile trovare una persona con cui essere in perfetta armonia. Io richiedo un periodo di convivenza di almeno 10 giorni per capire e senza assolutamente dover finire a letto. Ho una casa grande su due piani e riservo il piano superiore alla signora. Non solo ma mi occupo della signora a tempo pieno- So che la maggioranza degli uomini normali questo non lo possono fare, ma ho deciso d'investire soldi e tempo per trovare la donna dei miei sogni. Pagare per avere una donna in occidente è giusto. Gli stipendi in molte città dell'est non permettono alle signore facili spostamenti.

Qui sì. Le donne sono controllate. Io ho sempre pagato

You know, Neo. Many man insist that I went to see him. I can say 60%.
And of course, women. who agree to this option, insist on payment of the way and the hotel. You know, Neo, if you wont equality in all, you're need acquaint with another women.In Eastern Europe women feminists is minority. For us normal that man earns, pays for his women in the restaurant & etc.

Same question for you...teach us... We, with our exoeriences at this age, and you at your age! Explain why would man need to pay for you!? Secondly, Steven and i are basically agree on everything..there are some finer details which doesn't change the basics.
At the age of 25 you are looking a man of 40!? For love or for money!? Please explain. I really want to learn how 25 year old think about this (i have never been 25 and never had a girlfriend in my life) 😉

Маря, все очень просто - билеты до Москвы - туда-обратно обойдуться мне в 10-14000 рублей. Сейчас это чуть меньше моей месячной з/п.
Виза в Европу в 2012 году обшлась мне в 12 000 рублей через агентство.
Что-то я не думаю, что жених будет ждать пару лет пока я накоплю на билеты до США или до Чили (был такой поклонник - накопи, приезжай, а я на тебе женюсь).

Мария, у меня больших финансовых возожностей для оплаты поворотов судьбы.

jan, belive.
Just naw many man, who wont this.

My friend, you are right in your way. If you are willing to spend all your money, to bring woman on holidays to you (might not be like that, you might actually find your dream girl), its your choice and nobody has right to dispute that.
Question was asked what do people think and by reading this forum, you will see that man paying for woman became as a kind of a rule! I personally disagree with that.
If i decide to pay for a woman to come to me is something i decided cause i wanted to and not be cause its a rule and is taken for granted that if i want to meet i have to pay and show my bank statements! I respect woman who is independent, as it shows real and true character and that she doesn't want to use and abuse man. She is paying for her self as she doesn't want to depend on the man!

Спасибо Марина. Иногда нужно рискнуть))) Почему и нет?)))

Ольга, конечно, я понмаю, что у всех разные финансовые возможности...В таком случае, есть другие варианты встречи: он к Вам или на нейтральной территории, как удобнее)))Здесь я говорю о том, что если женщина готова ехать к нему и у нее есть такие финансовые возможности, почему не исполнить задуманное?)))Я поняла, что многие мужчины здесь готовы платить за женщин...Мне просто интересно мнение мужчин))))

Марина, а ведь Вы тоже встречаетесь в конце июля?))) В своем посте прочитала... Удачи Вам!!! Может,и шампанское потом на форуме?)))))

Мария,я думаю, вопрос кто к кому едет и за чей счет, сугубо индивидуальный. Если люди подходят друг другу и понимают друг друга, то они всегда смогут договориться. Результат встречи, конечно может быть разный, но финансовый вопрос, как первый тест на отношения, подходим или нет. Это тоже определяет насколько люди смотрят в одну сторону. На самом деле ситуации могут быть очень разные, и занятось в определенный момент времени, и денежные моменты. Здесь не может быть правил.
I guess the question to someone who travels and at whose expense, especially an individual. If people come up to each other and understand each other, they will always be able to agree. The result of the meeting, of course may be different, but the financial issue, as the first test of the relationship, whether or not. It also determines how people look in the same direction. In fact, the situation may be very different, and employment at a time, and money issues. There can be no rules.

Olga, that is very nice that man want you to go and see them. My opinion is that you try and get them to come and see you first as it is safer for you. And also if you don't have finances it will help a lot as you will know if is worth spending money for a second meeting to go an visit him. Don't take me wrong, i don't mid paying for woman to come and visit but i am not prepared to pay as that is expected from me if i want to meet her! If that is a rule, and i need to meet more then few woman to be able to find a right one, i might need to spend lots of money on their holiday! What if they aim is only that? How do i know if they are serious? But if you are prepared to pay for your self, it shows your commitment and seriousness in what you do.
If you didn't notice, i do originally come from Eastern Europe and i know what is the situation there so to say that majority is that the man is paying for the woman, like restaurants, i agree with, but that is if you are dating and in the same city! If you are married then both of you are working and contributing. But if you are in Omsk and you want to meet a guy in Moscow, i doubt that the man will finance your trip if he doesn't know you! But again, if he does, he does, not be cause its a rule but be cause he wishes to. Is not expected from him to do so.  

Se una donna mi interessa pago anche il suo visto, non solo i biglietti.
Non credo che ci siano altre opzioni valide per una donna a conoscere un uomo dell'ovest e la ragione è molto semolice: 1) le donne sono controllate dal sito e gli uomini no 2) la donna deve conoscere chi vuole frequentare amorevolmente e dove conosce? Ma solo sul posto!

L'hotel o no dipende dal tipo di sistemazione che l'uomo può dare alla donna in casa propria e dal grado d'educazione e di rispetto che l'uomo ha per la donna.
Ovvio che se uno può dare alla donna camera privata con bagno, TV e internet mi pare che l'hotel sia inutile
Ricordatevi che voi conoscerete un uomo soltanto vivendoci assieme, nella vita quotidiana! E non necessariamente facendo sesso, ma vedendo chi lui è e cosa fà!

Да, Юлия, Вы конечно правы. Мужчина и женщина должны уметь всегда и обо всем договариваться между собой. И это все индивидуально!)) Но существуют еще какие-то принципы, через которые трудно переступить...Я об этом...

Well, finally someone thinks like me. Thanks NEO!

I would say that it does seem that we agree on the basics, but not on the details. And your point about each person making their own choices is of course quite valid. We each have our own ideas of how to make this multi-cultural, multi-national relationship work. Personally, I do not consider men and women equal in the sense that they are they same. Frankly we are far from the same and I truly believe that feminism has not only given women a raw deal in general, but is also in the process of creating wimpy men also. This is one of the reasons why I am not really interested in an American woman. Many of them are what I call "half the man". I don't want my woman to be the same as me. But this topic is not about gender equality vs traditional family roles. The other side of the equality is likely not there either: financial. Although in some ways it is closer than many might believe. In the US especially now, there is less disposable income than there was 5 years ago. And so a trip from the western US to Ukraine or Russia may take quite some time to save for and also the vacation time allotted in the US is generally significantly lower than in Europe. Again, that is not the topic of this discussion.

А если женщина не захочет, чтобы мужчина оплачивал ей поездку и визу? Или такое Вам даже в голову не может прийти?)))
E se una donna non vuole l'uomo a pagare il suo un viaggio per lui e un visto? O è che non si poteva nemmeno immaginare può venire?))

Steven, you have basically said everything i did! We disagree on some details which are not topic of this discussion. You have explained actually better then i did..  

I am glad to see that we have more and more woman with principals..   Its my pleasure Tetjana and thank you for being who you are.

Hello, Neo! The topic of equality arises on the forum again and again. Equality as a social phenomenon exists only in the western world. Unfortunately, women in Russia and Eastern Europe don't know what equality means and how it can be - be equal with a man (!). If you want to find a woman here, you have to take this fact into account. If not, you'd better search among local women who are equal with the men and there's no need to spend money for tickets, visa and adaptation.
What does equality mean to me personally - 1) both are nearly of the same age, 2) both have a good social status - a job (the salary can be, of course, different because we have different living standards, 3) both do not have any credits in any banks, 4) both do not have any relatives who need to be taken care of. This list can be continued.. The question is - who are the both looking for?
I've got two friends of mine who married the western men. One is an American and one is an Englishman. The American guy came to Ukraine 6-7 times to visit her and they got married here, in Ukraine. She was 38 y.o. and he was 36. Now they have been living in the USA for about 10 years. She's got a green card this year.

i think, you not understand haw we live in Russia & other ex USSR republics. a plane ticket to one end to Moscow its my average salary for 2 week. For Moscow guy its a trifle for pocket expenses. In Russia we call it - "Feel the difference".
i know one couple - the Moscow husband send e-ticket for the flight and the woman arrived.
if guy invite me to South Africa for my money - I'm not going. i havent money for this travel.
You all time write that for women its holiday. Aha, holiday. I go to foreign country, i dont know people around, place around. i must good loking, try like to man (Neo, you honestly write - you will choose from several women), smile, sow best side. nerves in airport - he meet me or not? What if he changed his mind? - you know, Neo, we chat with other girls about it time to time. She come. but man dasen't met her in airpot, not answer for phone call. Women stay in airport along in foreign country. but she was paying for everything herself. its very banal story. nothing common with a holiday.

i think its depened from level of confidence women to men.
my lust relationship with a man make me very careful

Dear Inessa,
I think you need to read all my posts before telling me about eastern woman and equality with men! I do come from eastern Europe and we even speak very similar language. So, you need to base your opinion on the facts and not on what you think it is! Woman in eastern Europe are very equal - talking about rights, income, jobs, etc.
What you understand being equal is different from mine and probably from lots of other people. But equality is only set by law and that is what i refer to. But as Steven said, that is NOT subject in this post! Please read again the question which was asked - it was asked if man would/should pay womans trip expenses and that her opinion is that woman should pay for her self! With that came that lots of woman on this site expect man to pay as a kind of a rule! I have given my opinion on that and explained why. Which shows that i agreed with Maria that woman should be independatnt!

Dear Olga,

I dont know but i think the language is the problem here! I know that salaries are not good in Russia. I also know that salaries in Moscow are larger then in Omsk. But i also know that Moscow is the most expensive city in the world!!?! You see, i am a businessman, so its my job to know these things too. Next, you said, you know couple, Moscow husband or boyfriend send e-ticket - i do that for all of my girlfriends anyway, but NOT for a stranger!? I agree with you, its a risk for woman to travel first! That is why i said that man should go first and if all workout, then woman travels second time to him. After that, you can see if you are dating further, or getting married or just split and stay friends. Now, if you split and stay friends, you have travelled, seen the other side of the world, had a good time (site seeing, dinners, etc.), which no man would allow you to pay for, other words you had a decent holiday. When man comes to you, its obvious you will show him your city too, so he has a nice holiday. Nobody is at loss. If everything works out, its great..you got your self a husband..  

Dear, Neo! I'm happy that you have found the right woman and expecting her coming. I understood completely the topic of the post and I know exactly that if those two foreign men (the husbands of my friends) had waited for their ladies to come at their own expenes, they would have never met and created a family.
You say: "Woman in eastern Europe are very equal - talking about rights, income, jobs, etc." They are just TALKING (!) You right that "equality is only set by law" but in reality all the laws that can defend women here STAY ON PAPER AND DO NOT WORK (!)
Well, I'm an indepedent person, have the opportunity to travel but I'm a little indecisive in character and this fact can prevent me from going to visit a man in his country. So if the man is brave anough to come here and spend time and money on the trip, I'd be very happy to meet him and then can go to visit him.

Мария, я тоже с Вами соглашусь. Первая встреча-это риск для обеих сторон. И, на мой взгляд, правильно поделить этот риск . Мужчина не должен. Но он может захотеть- захотеть прилететь к вам, или захотеть оплатить вам поездку. А дальше уже вы в праве выбирать то,что вам комфортнее-воспользоваться желанием мужчины,или самой оплатить поездку,или поделить расходы пополам. Когда в отношениях начинается разбор кто кому и что должен-то это конец отношениям, а если они даже еще не начались... Правильный подход- "я хочу это сделать для тебя". Всегда можно найти разумный компромисс. Нет возможности ехать далеко- встречайтесь на нейтральной территории. В конце концов, не общайтесь с теми,кто живет так далеко, рассчитывайте свои возможности. А то все эти разговоры "я такая бедная, ты должен оплатить мне всё" больше напоминают договор купли-продажи,а не отношения.

Женщины, почему бы это:

Если кто серьезно заинтересован в вас достаточно, чтобы хотите посетить, то никогда не платят за свое путешествие. Никогда!Человек стоит иметь отношения с должны быть в состоянии предоставить своим билетом. Если он не может, то как подходящее супруга могут быть он честно? Если он не может себе этого позволить, то он ждет, пока он не скопил достаточно денег, чтобы заплатить за свое путешествие. Если он не может сохранить, чтобы оплатить его путешествие, чтобы увидеть вас, он может определенно не могут позволить себе оплатить все другие расходы, начать новую семью с вами. Это не имеет ничего общего с честью, морали, этики, или гендерных ролей .... Это базовый экономика и здравый смысл. Если он не в состоянии купить билет в один самолет, то он, вероятно, не будет в состоянии содержать семью в ближайшее время.

Во-вторых, Как только он приземлится, он, как и любой другой незнакомец вы встречаете на улице. Его расходы на проезд и раз он взял не делает женщину обязаны дать ему ничего взамен, кроме той же самой любезностью она дает любому, кто ей встречается впервые. Вы не обязаны ему секс, ужин или даже поцелуем из-за него тратить деньги, чтобы прийти к вам. Если вы и человек, имеют истинной связи и чувствовать искреннюю страсть, то все, что происходит естественно между мужчиной и женщиной, независимо от обстоятельств ..... Но я бы сказал это .... если вы любите его настолько, чтобы согласиться, чтобы посетить, и он делает это усилие, признать, как много это значит для вас. Мы не богаты, и иногда мы делаем значительные жертвы, что мы не говорим, и что вы никогда не можете видеть или знать о, просто так, что у нас есть возможность путешествовать, чтобы увидеть вас. Имейте это в виду. Уважайте друг друга, не теряя собственного самоуважения.