Children in a family with a foreign man
Julia
Men, why don't you want a woman with children?
Dear gentlemen!I want to ask you the question which probably many women here would like to ask. Why the most of you are looking for women without children?
Usually, Russian women after 30 (and also probably Ukrainian, Belorussian etc) have one or more children. Is it bad? If you meet a woman with child/children - you will get already complete family. Is not it what you would like to get finally? Women, already realized their mother's instinct are experienced for it. They already know how to care about the family. So, if you would like to have an own children - it would be much easier. And if you don't want to have own children - for woman maybe would enough to have only her children and she wouldn't ask you to have a baby together if you don't want. Then you can decide together if you want to have children or not.
I am sure that each woman wants to be a mother, this is nature. So, in my opinion, any young woman who hasn't children yet, would ask her partner to have a baby sooner or later.
I know some stories when women with children married alien men and moved to their countries. Russian children adapt very well abroad. They are smart and study easy a new language and find new friends there. And their mothers haven't time for missing, because they are busy already with completed family. Yes, it is not a secret that for Russian women is difficult to find a job abroad, so probably, your wife would sit at home and do house work, especially in the beginning. It might be boring to sit alone while husband is working. So, if your wife is not alone at home, care and contact with child, it is easier for her to adapt in your country.
Of course, man can't become a real father for grown child of his woman. But he can became the best friend for them. Grown child is almost complete person and it is interesting to communicate with him, it is fun. Each child has talants and it is interesting to open it. Good parents always try to help their child to open talants. (even if you have friendship with a child of your wife, you would be called a parent anyway!)
So, gentlemen, why don't you want women with children? Answer, please!
Wellcome to discussion!
Я знаю, что форум читают многие женщины, поэтому прошу меня не критиковать - я высказала мое личное мнение и предлагаю всем желающим высказать свои мнения, если есть желание.
Arina
Да и одной темой ЭТО НЕ ИЗМЕНИТЬ.
Сама читаю и диву даюсь Шоры штоли на глазах у наших дам
Какие ЧУЖИЕ ДЕТИ!!!! о ЧЁМ ВЫ??????????????????????????????
Arina
Ага , особо смешно слушать про то, что КТО-ТО ДОЛЖЕН....
Да никто нам ничего не должен.
Как в том фильме " Вокзал для двоих"-
....А теперь , Верунчик, сама, сама , сама!!!!!....
Marina
Svetlana
Меня умиляет ваша логика, Марина. Если Вы еще раз перечитаете мой текст, то обнаружите, что я как раз считаю, что мне никто ничего не должен ))) Просто у меня нет иллюзий, что какой-то мужчина вдруг полюбит моего ребенка, как своего собственного (да и ей самой это не нужно, у нее есть родной отец). А еще у меня достаточно смелости признаться, что я врядли полюблю чужих детей-подростков. Зачем притворяться лучше, чем есть на самом деле?
Sei forte tu! Ahahahahaah!! Hai un figlio di 21 anni! Bella forza!
Come il tuo piccolino? ahahahaha!! Gli dai il lecca lecca quando piange?
Ma chi? Uomini liberi tipo me? Ma non scherziamo! Uomini pure con bambini, magari!
Lascia perdere me, ma ben pochi italiani, anche molto piú giovani di me, si prenderebbero in casa oggi una russa con bambini! Credimi! Magari del nord europa, ma figurarsi in Italia! Non li fanno piú neanche loro i bambini gli italiani! In Italia c'é 1,1 bambino per coppia, il numero minore al mondo! Figurati se si prendono facilmente bambini di altri!
Io prenderei il figlio di una donna forse se fosse il vero padre a mantenerlo, non io! Questo se avessi al massimo 40 anni, non certo ora!
Ma certamente! Finiresti per fare la babysitter, non a compagna! Ma scherziamo? Abbiamo giá dato!
Giusto! Se trova un padre solo con bambini, va benissimo! Ma non mi fiderei mai di un uomo libero che la prende. Non sarebbe sincero e la ingannerebbe!
Se volessi ancora bambini mi prenderei una trentenne senza figli e me li faccio io con lei da zero! Non li voglio gia' fatti da un altro! Almeno faccio lo sforzo di farmeli da solo! Oneri, ma almeno qualche onore! Ma stiamo scherzando?
I have been reading. Julia, everything positive you have said about children is true. But I am saddened by some of the remarks.
Until I was 30-years old, I lived well, traveled, owned sports cars, classic cars, blah, blah, blah and was proud of myself for my accomplishments. At 30, I married; the following Christmas my son was born. This was the most humbling experience of my life; since then I have never failed to see children as a wonderful and precious gift. They are each an opportunity for all of us.
I have attended 7 various universities, but I learned more in my life from raising a child than from all that education combined. Are children sometimes inconvenient? Of course, and not everyone is wired to be a parent (although sometimes not a bad thing to hold a child and try to learn something from cradling them in your arms). I do not look down on anyone who knows their limitations, but most reasons I see posted here so far seem superficial and selfish. Sorry, but that is my opinion.
Children do not come when we decide or when it’s convenient; I believe that is how the plan was meant to be. We want everything the way we want it in a perfect world, but children come at such a time as to cause us to adapt to their needs. Remember they are an entrusted gift and require responsibility and dedication; their presence is supposed to teach us, for those who will learn. This often defines our character.
Never once on this site have I looked at any profile and not considered the girl because she had a child. Contrarily, I saw an opportunity to become a father to a child who desperately needed one, to teach them and show them love, as was I, by my parents; to dramatically change the entire life of one child for the better. Why else are we here? To eat, drink and make merry until we die??? We are here on this planet to help each other. What does it profit a man to gain the entire world and lose their own soul? Children are our natural investment for the future; even for an atheist.
Julia has very eloquently written about the positive benefits of choosing a woman with a child. You men should all be so lucky! Thousands of childless couples in the US have spent small fortunes to adopt Russian children and bring them here and raise them as their own. How can a person turn down the love of their future partner because they also have a child? Do you not think she will love and h0onor you even more and cling to you because you have accepted all of her!? Girls, if he is not interested in you because you have a child, this is not the generous man who will treat you as you should be treated.
I am now ready to accept the first challenger to my opinion; who will it be, Tom?
Соглашусь со Светланой.
Самая правильная и честная позиция – признаться себе и своему партнеру, что общий язык с детьми не получается найти. Или - не хочется даже напрягаться с поиском взаимопонимания
Если кто-то соглашается участвовать в воспитании и жизни детей своего партнера, нужно изначально быть готовым и подписаться на то, что Вы будете жестко ограничены в действиях. Все, что Вы отдадите (материальные средства или эмоциональные затраты) – воспримутся как должное. Но при этом право голоса Вы не всегда будете иметь, так как «А кто ты такая?».
Примите это как факт.
И если Вы сознательно поймете, что готовы на это, тогда будет легче воспринимать совместную жизнь с чужими детьми.
Я сама выросла в семье, которую «слепили» из двух неполных семей. Моя мать вдова, вышла замуж повторно за вдовца с ребенком. Боже упаси меня повторить судьбу своей матери. Вечный долг, как перед Родиной (всем должна, перед всеми постоянно оправдывается). И это продолжается уже 32 года подряд…
Мой мужчина, также, имеет детей от первого брака. Спасибо, что он и его ex-жена воспитали добрых мальчиков. Уважительное, дружеское и дистанционное отношение к папиной личной жизни.
Marina
Так у меня до сих пор замечательные отношения с детьми моего бывшего мужа(гражданского) у него их 2 детей. Они меня считают своей мамой и пригласили в качестве мамы на свадьбу, а не свою родную маму алкоголичку. А насчет моей дочери, скажу что у нее сейчас все хорошо и замечательно. И прошу мои посты не комментировать )
Marina
Я воспитала своих детей и детей моего бывшего мужчины . Когда мы с ним познакомились, его дети ходили в школу и были подростки. Сейчас одному его сыну 32 года, второму 28 лет. У нас замечательные отношения и младший ко мне заходит в гости со своей женой и очень жалеет, что мы с его отцом расстались.
Non è questa la questione Doug, ma siamo troppo vechi per allevare bambini piccoli. Nel mio paese con le nostre leggi io non potrei mai adottare un bambino piccolo e una ragione c'è!
Cosa vuoi che mi prenda in carico io un bambino quando sono giá nonno? E' ridicolo!
Scusa Marina ma mi vedi con una ragazza di 30 anni e un bambino di due anni di un altro? A guardarmi riderebbero anche i polli!
Mio figlio ha 31 anni! Toccano a lui queste cose, non a me o a Doug! Magari con un bambino piú piccolo di mio nipote!
Se avessi trent'anni potrei anche prendere in considerazione la cosa, ma attualmente proprio no! Se mi va bene ho davanti ancora 20 anni e tra non molto sarño vecchio. Ho lavorato, mi sono dato da fare nel mondo, anche per i bambini. Che li allevino altri piú adatti di me! Una persona responsabile dovrebbe avere anche coscienza dei propri limiti, o no?
Doug, cosa fai? Riprendi a cambiar pannolini alla tua etá?
Marina
Marina
если Вы по поводу моего декольте,мне все-равно. пусть люди посмотрят на себя в трусах или в бикини или эротические фото , у меня все фото приличные и достойные
Марина, а вы не задумывались что у мужчины в 50 лет могут быть уже взрослые дети? И я не спрашиваю вас про мой вариант. Я прекрасно без вас знаю кто мне нужен. Вы не заметили одну свою особенность? Вы не высказываете свое мнение по теме практически никогда! Но при этом очень любите прокомментировать чужие мнения и обязательно дать совет! Но лично мне не нужны ваши советы. У меня все прекрасно в жизни. Желаю и вам того же
Julia
Marina, 48 лет,Uzbekistan,
Конечно, такие нам не нужны! Я горжусь своей дочкой и не собираюсь стыдится что она у меня есть, и уж тем более прятать. Она у меня умница! Уверена, что мужчина, для которого мой ребенок не будет помехой, обязательно найдется! Если не здесь, то в другом месте - планета большая! 😉
Julia
Tomazzo, non capisco la problema d'età. Cosa tieni presente? Non sono d'accorda da vivere con un uomo chi molto più vecchio di me. Sono giovane ancora, il limito di differenza d'età è 10 anni massimo. Penso, che non posso amare più vecchio l'uomo del limito.
Anche la paese non è importante, per me sarebbe più facile se trovo un uomo giusto qui, nella mia città. Ma questo non è possibile, purtroppo. Non cerco per conforto, cerco per l'amore vero. La vita in Russia è buona e ci sono molte possibilita. Sono d'accorda per vivere con il mio uomo qui, in Russia. Come mai? Solo voglio stare felice.
Julia
Svetlana, 41 год, Москва,
спасибо за теплые слова!
А я не против наличия детей у мужчины. Считаю, что подход можно найти к любому ребенку, даже самому сложному. Для любого ребенка главное - любовь и внимание родителей. Естественно, маму я не заменю, и не собираюсь бороться за первое место. Но подружиться, дать понять, что конкуренции за его\ее\их папу нет, могу.
Julia
Doug, I agree with you absolutely. People can enjoy their freedom for a long time, how they want. They can travel, buy houses, expensive cars, go out to expensive restourants, have many different partners etc (it is a big topic for imagination). it is ok, people can enjoy it, but what is next? I am not going to judge. But, finally what they get? For what they buy all those things? In my opinion, it is unuseful life. We live for our children, for their future, for give them everything we know about the life.
I have a friend, he is an old man, an American. And he never was married, doesn't have children and lives alone. Really intelligent well-educated and friendly man. He could be happy for now, but he is not. He had an own bussiness and had a wonderful life in the past, enjoyed everythong, but for now he is poor and lonely. What is the reason? That is right, for now no one have an interest for him. Do you understand what I mean?
So, you, Doug, is very lucky that you have the son. I think you might find the right woman for you and make her and her child\children happy. I am not agree with Tomazzo that you can't become a father again (I mean to have a baby) why not, if you find a woman who can and wants do it? But you have to understand that your age doesn't let you to care about a baby, to give him an education, to grow up... In my opinion it is better to find a woman with teen and give your knowlege to him\her.
About adopted children from Russia is a different topic. Yes, there are many of them in the US and other countries. But I have to admit, then they are not healthy children, the most of them have much problems with mind. And what is better - to adopt children with diseases or marry a woman with educated intelligent children?
Julia
Marina, 48 лет, Usbekistan
У вас замечательная дочка! Чудо! Как же здорово, что она есть, не правда ли!!? )))
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