Men & women
Request to repost a personal letter
I was asked to post this letter to the forum for each one of you ladies. This is a letter I wrote to one of your dear friends here on the site because I sensed she could use a kind word of encouragement. She requested I post this to the forum for you all. I have obviously changed a few details but if these words can be helpful to any of you, I am happy to do it:
You are each a very beautiful and unique woman. Please never make any apology for sending a wink or anything else to get the attention of one of us men. Any man should be grateful and feel privileged to receive any attention from you. I would like to share some things from my experiences here, if that may help you in any way.
I did not come here and immediately set the world on fire; I made many mistakes. To be honest, I did only one initial search and the ladies I discovered on that search were not the ones with whom I began corresponding. For the most part, I have written to girls who have contacted me, so do not be afraid to create a message you would like to convey to some man in an initial contact. (There is something special to a man when he is “discovered” by someone who notices him.)
Don’t be afraid to contact him first; the traditional role of women waiting to be contacted by the men is admirable, but not always practical. We men receive a lot of attention here and cannot always know to whom we should respond. Do not be afraid to contact him again if he does not notice the first time. (Ask him what is he waiting for!?) If he ignores your messages, this is no reflection on you, so never allow your self-esteem to be affected. Reject these thoughts! Hold your head up high! There are many fish in the sea. Have confidence in yourself and believe that he is the loser for not taking advantage of a great opportunity.
Please do not give up looking for a partner and never, never, ever lower your standards just to have someone. In my own life, I have discovered many things far more tragic than not being married. You deserve to be loved and respected. Each of you ladies is a prize; my only regret is that I can’t take you all home with me. You will be in my prayers to find that special someone who deserves you. May God richly bless you as you search...and thank you for taking an interest in me.
With warm regards,
Doug
What's the matter, dear? Why did you get mad and yell?Such the feeling that some ladies our customers sent their kids in your Villa, and small children in dirty diapers crawling on your site ))).I think nobody encroaches on your freedom...
Tom, thank you very much for taking the time to explain and to correct everything we incorrectly misinterpreted you meant to say to Natalia the first time, which we all misunderstood because of the auto-translator, especially that part about the African children. I, myself, have been misunderstood at times for the same reason. Just the other day, a lady thought I did not like her because of something I wrote. I immediately wrote to tell her that was not so and apologized for the misunderstanding. Real men not only change diapers, they apologize for misunderstandings.
Just my casual observation (and I only say this because we are friends, Tom), easy for people to misunderstand intentions here because of communication issues. I see this all the time. (Communication is not always easy when all speak the same language.) Sometimes better to revisit and re-read what we write and then try to empathize with how our words may be understood. Sometimes I wait to send and then later read to see how it may be perceived; I often change what I originally wrote to soften up a little. Also, easier to get it past the manager that way. 😉 This is probably good advice for someone who writes as much as you; you must be the most prolific writer on this site.
Please remember Tom, this was my original post and I started this thread to encourage our beautiful and precious friends here; to build them up, to stimulate their confidence, to make them aware of how special each of them are. Very easy for anyone to become discouraged with circumstances these days, and sometimes lose hope. Each of us has a unique circumstance, Tom. Many of these ladies may have deep hurt in their lives we know nothing about, and maybe something you or I can say will be just the words to warm their hearts and keep them going for another day. I know the difficulty of being a single mom, having a child who looks to you and needs you, but you are exhausted and discouraged and lonely yourself. Life is not always easy and we can all use help from each other.
You have told us all many times you are not a believer, so you may not understand; as a believer I feel we should always love one another, have compassion for and help one another, encourage and inspire one another, complement one another, be generous to each other, defend each other, sometimes even carry each other...but this philosophy of life should have nothing to do with belief in God. This is good for the entire world to consider, to make the world a better place wherever we go, one life at a time. We can each leave the world a better and happier place because we were here. That is what I try to do and especially in this forum. These girls are looking for fulfillment and happiness; so are you and I. We should work together...have fun, but work together.
Regardless of what you may perceive, Tom, I am always your friend and wish only the best for you. Your ships are beautiful. I tease you, I poke at you, I give you difficulty about many of your perspectives. Keep in mind, Tom, I spanked my own son when he needed it. I am perfectly aware of the hypocrisy of many claiming to represent God and believers; you are totally justified in some of your animosity toward them, but they do not represent me. I stand against all evil, regardless. My hope is not that people respect me for being a believer; I hope that because I am a believer, I can be a better person and people will respect me for who I am. Nothing wrong with that, Tom. As part of that piece, regardless of how much we go at it, there are never lingering bad thoughts toward you. Should we eventually meet for the pizza someday, I will still hug you and kiss you on both cheeks.
Irina
Doug! Вы как всегда правы...Может Том Вас и поймет в конце концов.
Natalia
Том спасибо, я так рада, что я вас не интересую! И искренне желаю вам счастья!
Natalia
И хочу добавить Том (как я уже комментировала в другом посту и вы его читали и даже ответили, если помните), что у меня нет иллюзий на счет Европы или заграницы. Я не считаю, что у вас там рай...Все зависит (почти все) от человека, если человек счастлив или умеет быть счастливым, то он будет счастлив везде.
Ok, Doug nessun problema. Ti sei finalmente spiegato bene.
Io intendevo solo scrivere che non mi sono mai sognato di disprezzare l'amica ucraina, che al contrario, stimo molto.
Non è un profilo che possa interessare me per una futura relazione, ma puó benissimo soddisfare l'interesse di molti altre persone per bene qui. Possiede tutto per soddisfare un uomo: intelligenza, buon senso e spirito. E' senza alcn dubbio un'ottima madre e un'eccellente donna, forte e generosa.
Stabilito questo, chiuso il discorso per quanto mi riguarda. Se ti stigmatizzo a volte non signifca che io ti neghi amicizia. Anzi, spesso la polemica aiuta anche nei rapporti. La differenza unisce.
Peró. ti prego: evita di far processi alle mie intenzioni in futuro.
Ma piú che con te mi sono indignato con quelle che hanno applaudito il tuo messaggio, non capendo assolutamente nulla.
Elena
Io scrivo di patate e tu rispondi di cavolfiori! Io non parlavo di dove vive lei ma di che tipologia di donna è lei! A me non interessano le famiglie allargate con una donna che ha 4 bambini anche piccoli! Ma la smettete di confondere lucciole per lanterne, o no?
Quando si risponde a un messaggio, cara amica, o si capisce il messaggio, o è meglio non rispondere!
Ti ho giá scritto che tu non hai capito un fico secco di nulla e tu come quell'altra rispondi su cose che non hai capito!
Un'altra che non capisce un fico secco di nulla e scrive!
Natalia
В России есть хорошая пословица (поговорка) в споре рождается истина
Allora, Doug alla fina ha capito, ma, siccome qui c'è ancora qualcuno che non ha capito niente riassumo:
1) Doug ha sbagiato a postare un messaggio di un'utente attiva qui. Questa è un'azione puerile! Questo messaggio l'utente avrebbe dovuto prendersi la responsabilitá di postarlo da sola, non tramite Doug! Punto e a capo
2) Doug ha mal interpretato un mio messaggio e ha capito che io non apprezzassi Natalia e non è vero. Ho solo scritto che il suo profilo non va bene per me, ma Natalia è una persona che valuto molto bene. Io non cerco una donna che vuole vivere in Ucraina con una mucca e piena di bambini, chiaro?
Che l'Europa sia un paradiso o no, questo è un altro argomento che va trattato a parte!
Comunque la mia risposta è molto pricisa: dipende da chi trovi in Europa!
Ora per favore non voglio piú leggere commenti stupidi!
Irina
Том! Не обижайтесь на нас... Мы Вас так же уважаем как и других мужчин... Хочется уже мира и спокойствия... ))
Elena
Во-первых,я ответила Наташе,а не вам,во-вторых,это не ваш персональный форум,в третьих,берегите нервы,самый умный.Грубость еще никого не украшала. Я не нуждаюсь в вашей оценке моего интеллекта.Чао!
Chiudo l'argomento: io parlo di patate e voi di cavolfiori! Non siete proprio capaci di stare al tema! Vi inventate le cose e scrivete senza riflettere!
Tom, we all thank you for your humble explanation! Heck, Tom! I'll kiss you right now!!!! )))) By the way, I have been called many things in my life, but stupid is something new for me. I promise to take your opinion under consideration. I always want to improve myself wherever possible; thank you for your openness to share with me! Since apparently not everyone is willing to share with me about my stupidity, I must discover other ways to discern if I am being stupid. One good way for me to understand is when I see everyone laughing at me and saying things with which I disagree and I am the only one with that perspective, I always stop for a few minutes and quietly ask myself Everyone is laughing at me and disagrees with me...is it possible I am being stupid!? This may not work for everyone, but always gives me something to think about!
Mai detto che tu sia stupido: non lo sei. Hai semplicemente aperto un argomento assurdo! Chiunque pué sbagliare. Scusa, ma come si fa a postare un messaggio di una donna matura normalissima e regolarmente iscritta e attiva?
Assurdo questo argomento, ma ancora piú assurde e con la testa in un sacco sono quelle che rispondono: "bene, bravo, hai ragione". Piú che te, io stigmatizzo loro. Uno puó anche mandare un messaggio sbagliato, ma quando una donna fá una critica o un commento, si presuppone che stia usando la testa, non altre parti del corpo! Ah ah ah!
Дорогой друг! Самоанализ- вещь полезная. Но очень трудная, всегда находятся аргументы в свою пользу. С другой стороны, если самоанализом злоупотреблять, то мы дойдем до другой крайности- самокопание и самобичевание конструктива с собой не несут. Как сказал Парацельс: все - яд и все- лекарство, дело в дозировке...
Natalia
Natalia
Natalia
Tom, the mail I've been getting seems to indicate that many ladies here understood perfectly...
Nataliya
Tomasso! Вы резки в высказываниях, возможно переводчик не точен, мне понравился спокойный тон Douga, модератор здесь не причем, все мы имеем выбор и это хорошо! Вы не овца, но и другие не овцы)) не считайте себя умнее всех, разные восприятия и разные характеры... разные страны и разный возраст )) 3) Nataliá `un profilo che interessa a me come donna? NO!- это Ваше право, но от этого она не станет хуже ведь так? 4) Natalia interessa a me come amica? Sí, certamente. - это тоже замечательно... Вы порой сами не понимаете что пишут другие... и мой комментарий совсем не связан с тщеславием!
Nataliya
Его немного заносит, слишком вспыльчив))) на мой безобидный ком, он написал целых пять))) горячая кровь))
Elena
Благодарю Вас за теплые слова!) Я не обижаюсь на него.Просто хочу заметить, что когда мужчина публично оскорбляет женщину, то он ,ни много, ни мало, -- всего лишь демонстрирует миру собственную слабость.А это совсем не то,чего ждут от него женщины.Не нужно много ума, чтобы понять эту ,старую,как мир , истину.
Spiacente per te ma io non ho mai offeso nessuno. Ho solo scritto che il profilo di Natalia non è compatibile col miao.
Quando scrivete un articolo premuratevi prima di capire quello che scrivo! Altrimenti poi rispondete idiozie, chiaro? Chiuso il discorso!
Tatiana
Девочки, а ведь было интересней(
Куда же пропал запал Тома?
Где размеренная дипломатичность Дага?
Весна вроде бы должна будоражить, а на форуме всё скучнее((
Мальчики, приходите новенькие))
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