Men & women
Rick
Lost
Hello, I have been reading posts here for a few months and enjoy them all. I have decided to write and ask a question because there seems to be honesty and experience on this forum. I will ask first to forgive me if my actions have been ignorant in my search. I began a year ago in October. I am now 54, Caucasian, live in United States ( citizen ) and searched for a Slavic woman. My reason is because I have lost faith in American woman, I find it difficult to respect woman who is 200 lbs over weight , self centered and goes shopping in bed clothes. I realize not all are like this, but I see none like this in Eastern Europe. I also understand Slavic woman are very family oriented people besides being beautiful and smart.
I will make my story as short as possible but wish to give as much information so you can make an educated comment.
The woman is from Russia, in the east. She approached me on the dating site, I was very excited and the communication began swiftly. We communicated in email for about 5 weeks until she demanded a video chat. I was new to this, did not even know how to video chat. After a few tries it was successful video chat. We did video several times before the meeting. I told her within a few weeks of writing I would come in the spring, she responded that I could come sooner. I began to make plans, we discussed where and when. The meet took place in a major city in Russia in February instead of springtime. I struggled a little to come up with the money in advance because I did not want to go into debt for the trip. I paid for everything. She wanted me to send money so she could plan and purchase her own tickets. I took a chance and sent money. She needed personal things for the trip and needed money, I sent more money. One item she purchased was a suit case for $300.00 U.S. I thought this was a bit expensive to do with another persons money but I said nothing. I purchased a suitcase for $90.00. In total I sent $900.00 U.S. to her. We both flew into the city within an hour of each other and took a taxi to the hotel together. I purchased two rooms at a hotel in advance for 20 days. I also prepaid for opera and other various show tickets.
Now all was good. We got along great, we fell in love weeks before the trip even began. We ate at nice restaurants, traveled the city, went to shows and churches. I will say this was the best time of my life. The only things that concerned me during the trip are this.
1) the whole time we were together, even in the taxi from the airport she would not put her phone away. Constant messages and interruptions. I felt this was rude for as much effort I put into the meeting. I asked about this and her response was that there are people that do not know she is away from home. That people in Russia get jealous and cause problems. So she must stay in contact with them. By the end of the trip I know three of the four contacts that she stayed in touch with. A sister, a daughter and a friend ( woman ) in the united states. The fourth I never figured out or got to see.
2) During our stay at the hotel she would mention that she was getting sick, a cold. But this never stopped her from walking the city all day and night, shopping and sight seeing.
3) My money for the trip came from different sources and was deposited over time during our stay. Some days I would have several hundred dollars, as that got spent and I had to wait for the next deposit, money got a little tight. This became a big issue for her, even minor arguments and tears, but nothing real bad. Shopping got out of hand, we had to buy gifts for every person she and I knew, and I was watched very closely. Later I found out that this is done to look for expressions of greed? True or not? It felt like it. This type of shopping was not in my plans and I went a few thousand dollars over budget for the trip. The last day we were there I had a relative deposit $150.00 in my account so I would have money for my trip home. I told her I was going to the bank to exchange $50.00 for us to eat and have taxi fare. She demanded I exchange all of it. I ended up going home with $20.00 and very hungry.
3) On the day before we were to leave she began to cry and beg we stay for another week, I was able to stay till mid week, on a Wednesday. The morning we were getting ready to depart she mentioned she did not feel good and wanted to stay till the week end. I said no, we arrive together and we leave together. The ride to the airport was silent for the most part.
She did not seem or act very sick, so I assumed all was O.K. She did not demand to stay a few more days, she was O.K. we go together.
4) her flight left first for another big city, I departed 30 minutes later. My flights were very close so we could not stay in contact while traveling. Not until I got back to my house did I find out she stayed in another big city. She had claims of heart attack on landing and medical doctors at the airport denied her the ability to fly for two weeks. She said she had a friend who's parents had a house not far away and will stay with them. The following weekend ( three days later ) I found out she moved to her friends apartment, the only reason I found out is because the photos she sent me were a different flat. When I asked, She said the house was to cold so her friend let her stay at vacant apartment. In total she stayed for three weeks with claims of pneumonia. Half way into this stay are relation became strained over my doubts of honesty and over one night I tried to contact her. Every time I contacted her she responded with in a reasonable amount of time. This time she did not respond, to text, phone call disabled and video call disabled. Three hours later she said she was on phone with sister and did not get alarms of incoming calls.
5) After three weeks, she returns home and two weeks later says she is in hospital. She would never send a photo of herself in hospital but one or two very close photo in bed and one in bathroom, of her swollen hands from I.V. the one in bathroom was in her own bathroom. I know from other photos and this is true. She also said that the doctors let her out of hospital for Easter Sunday.
6) She stops video chat, since April we have done video chat maybe 12 times. I ask every week if we can, but it does not happen much. I am now at the point that I will not do it. If you take something away from me to punish me, I will remove it permanently. She also has stopped talking with me for days on end when I make her angry. I am not perfect. I do have a tendency to piss people off. I have also made accusations out of confusion, miscommunication and not understanding.
7) I have faithfully sent gifts, flowers, money every month since our meet.As far as this goes I am a nice a guy, I do not care about the money too much, or the gifts, I love her and care about her. ( Am I a fool? )
in the past two months she dissipated for one week twice.One time was in the middle of a messenger chat. Two days later she sent a message saying she had a medical emergency and went to hospital in ambulance and would talk later. the following week end communication returned to normal. the other time she said I angered her and did not wish to communicate, this also was for about a week.
9) the whole time since our meet I have begged her to share her every day life with me, only to be told she is too busy most times. I offered to spend the summer in her city so we can build our relationship only to be denied and argue why I should not.
10) I recently sent $500.00 for a computer I promised her money for. ( I know, But I do not lie and do what I say I will do )I sent this money a month ago, it was in part so we can do Skype together. To this day she says she has no time to shop for it. She also now says that when she got sick on the flight last March it caused problems with her legs. First time I ever hear of this problem. She says she can not walk in the city to all the many stores and look at computers, it will have to wait. I have caused more problems by asking when will you get it. Now I do not even ask.
11) When we left our first meeting we were engaged to be married, I gave a ring I made myself as I am a jeweler. We talked about K-1 visa and agreed to to do this. Ever since April I have had many arguments over getting her to send the information needed to complete K-1 visa. Now I plan a trip to her city in October. To meet face to face. I have questions and need answers. We also agreed to work on K-1 and finish it. She denies me to stay at her apartment due to have to many dogs and no room for me. Even said she will not cook me a meal at her home and I can not go there because she does not want to hurt her reputation.
I will say that this experience has caused me much doubt. I have not been the perfect man. I do not understand all this because I do love her and I am faithful. I honor my word and always do as I say. Maybe I am a fool, maybe I act like child, maybe I think this is fantasy.
Now I will say that this experience has caused me doubt, I have accused her of things, I have been rude in words, not by intention but by translations. There is much to the story not told. Over 1000 emails, hundreds of messenger chats, a few hundred photos between each of us. There are times when things go well and communication is O.K.
I highlighted my concerns and will be happy to answer any questions you may have. Please respond.
Tatyana
Рику,голову на нужное место надо поставить ))и отобрать кошелек, чтобы заработанные деньги на кидал на ветер)).. \а если деньги исчезли у Рика , нет работы, куда он поедет?, на чем? На акуле, полетит на голубе, на лыжах ехать в Россию. Нет.
Рик будет думать что он будет кушать сегодня и завтра
Любовь-это прекрасно когда чувство имеет взаимность или любовь какнаказание, когда любишь один. Пережить надо...надо время..беречь свои чувства нужно и не надо сжечь до тла
Rick
Thank you David, appreciate every ones opinion and suggestions here.
Rick
Tatyana
пожалуйста..только к моему сожалению , вы только читаете.. Если бы я быть ваш друг= я рвать ваша голова и ставить новая)). Вы идите назад..но закон вселенной -надо идти вперед..Вас кто-то давно ждет впереди, а вы идете обратно туда где больно, непонятно и неприятно.
Мне тоже было больно..я болеть долго..но все прошло, ноя терять много время на стоны . Проснись..ничего не надо считать (деньги_=забудь об этом! так бывает..Я знаю много случай-что после крах любви потом идет лучшее... Работай, живи..возвращайся к нам в общество. Я не буду тебе дарить носовой платок можно пользоваться рукыв рубашка))
Salvador
Ok Rick, Do a favor to your Amigo:
Can you analyze the next tables and figures and fill up what you have lived in Life with those ladies???
Can you write their names and start to remember with who you had many or some of the combinations of intimacy, passion and commiment??
Let's Do it, write many tables for each girl.
Then check who gave you the best memories, check with who you had a balanced relationship.
Can you feel those memories???
Then add your last woman ( the reason we read you here).... please check it, sincerely.... Did she gave you something good ??,,,, Did she gave you something bad??
Check it, tell yourself , only yourself,, was a relation of Value??
Did she added you something good in real perspective??
How many joys???
How many dissapointments???
Add them and compare them....
Can you see it???
Just remeber the ladies who shared with you only good memories....
Just release your suffering, because it is only yours ....
Ok, let it Go...
Do you feel better ?? ( it is valid to cry, even I have had that feeling, everyone have had it).
Just keep in you who made you happy, who gave you joys and special moments.
Now!!!
It is time to turn the page and leave it in the past, bad memories, certainly, but it is in the past right now.
Raise your face toward the sunlight,
Raise your face to the heat of Love....
You deserve it, you really deserve it.
Do you feel OK?
Now it is time to write a new story here,
there are many marvellous persons who listened, many how witnessed and sensed a match of your feelings with their feelings.
It is time to turn the page with a new and brilliant one.
Just do what you know very well, to give all of yourself to the woman who will really give all to you.....
I wish you the best in your search, I am sure many women here will be glad to read from you the marvellous person you are...
Your Amigo,
Salvador
Rick
Understand, I take some time. Wait. Universe provides what we need, who we need. I look forward. Thank you
Rick
Tatyana
David
Rick Nearly 250 replys from many women who are single looking for a kind gentle husband..... You are that man... not for everybody but there are some girls reading this who would love to be treat like a princess and live in Waynesville. OH or NC?
If You learn from your mistakes a trip to Moscow or Kiev or minsk SPB or Samara would not cost You anything other than your own flight and the restaurant cost to take some women out unconditionaly to see If theres a spark between You.... No one in here is expecting computers or three hundred doller suitcases Thats materiał.... a better goal is a new life in the USA with a kind loving husband!!! You can also Tell womens charictors my there responces to this question too.... worth reading your replys again
Wiwiena
Nevertheless, you are very mistaken dear David I understand your idea about catch fish to the "sweet future", but Real man is not only promisses for a new passport and a lot of beautiful words).. Dont teach Rick, he has more chances then you I tell you that like woman.. I do not need anything, but between you and Rick - always Rick nothing personal, pure psychology He is a man of dreams. I think woman can rely on him in a difficult situation. It will be action, not empty words. Although of course Rick should be more cautious and more careful with his feelings! But I am absolutelly sure - Rick will find a very good woman It was just an experience. I do not see any global problems for him, to be honest
Salvador
Absolutely Right David!!!
It is a consequence of heart pain of our kind and dear friend Rick, but the only one who could help him, is himself....
I just dream to retire from my actual work as to live there....
Many persons said to me I am like lunatic or crazy....
YES !!!! I am mad to move there as my heart has been captivated by Russia and everything there.....
If such hard conditions would make that beautiful land unhabitable, absolutely no human being would live there.....
Mr. Rick, Sir; Earn more money for yourself, care yourself.... you deserve it.
Travel there to the unexpected, I did it and it was the most amazing travel for me....
Many events happened to me that I even me could not believe it.,...
Salvador
I am tired to read about this,
so this is my last intervention in this topic,
David
Real man is not only promisses for a new passport and a lot of beautiful words.... I am here to cherry pick the best woman for me and my future family. Such woman i will learn her and she will learn me... the day You get to see the happy couples pictures and I become this lucky man... Maybe then the Self Proclaimed Athena (Goddess Of wisdom and war!!!) Of the Forum will reconsider my chances
Одна девушка в аэропорту в ожидании самолета купила пачку печенья и положила рядом с собой. Сидевший рядом мужчина открыл эту пачку и начал есть печенье. Он ел его одно за другим, пока не осталось одно печенье. Девушка с гневом смотрела на него. Он разломил последнее печенье на 2 части и отдал ей половину. Уже в самолете девушка открыла сумку и обнаружила целую пачку печенья. Оказывается, все это время мужчина ел свое печенье. Вывод : Никогда не судите никого, не разобравшись в истине.
Rick
Rick
Rick
Rick
Rick
Thanks man, hard lesson. I know I should not have given my heart so fast. My own fault. Thanks for for your point on this, well taken.
Rick
I must say Olga. It seemed every other conversation I was rude, no matter how I tried with translator, every 10 conversations set the woman off on my rudeness. As far as Skype, plain and simple, I want to see my woman, thats all. Than I read how some people dating plan once per week at prescribed time, twice a month, some every day. So as far as I am concerned to ask for it is not rude. To ask if you will do it for me is not rude, to ask if you wish to have a prescribed time, at your convenience is not rude. To see the woman in real life made me happy. Is that to much to ask from your future wife whom you send monthly support??? Please tell me if I ask too much of Russian woman. Thank you for your opinion.
Rick
Rick
No I do not enjoy. I had trust, misunderstanding, communication issues,cultural differences, I cared and did love. When you want to believe in someone, no matter what - blindness occurs. This is detrimental to the character.
Thank you for your post
Rick
I must say, to this day she says she tells no one of our relationship. Excuse in hospital - I do not look good enough for a photo.
Thank you for your kind words. I learn as I go through life, as everyone does.
мне сложно ответить на ваш вопрос. возможно ежемесячное пособие не должно выглядеть как плата за общение. не должны устанавливаться правила, обязательный график. хорошо если общение и чаты приятны вам обоим, происходят в свободное время, удобное для двух человек. если это обязательная норма которую я должна выполнить чтобы мой партнер был доволен то это уже работа а не желание общаться с любимым. лично я не могу жить по графику установленному другим человеком. я уважаю желания моего партнера. но также он должен уважать мое время и личные границы. разумеется если ваша женщина живет одна и она не работает то она имеет много свободного времени для видеочатов. нужно еще учитывать разницу во времени между вашими странами. но, при желании, можно найти 5 минут и иногда достаточно улышать голос и увидеть улыбку
Natalja
Не посылайте деньги женщине, приберегите их для вашей будущей жены или отправьте голодающим детям в Африку.
David
Rick. Your mannerisms and behavioural characteristics make you who you are.” People get to know about who you are, by your manners, polite behaviour, and polished etiquette. Which in here is more than displayed my your educated replys.... Most slavic women can see past pictures!!!!. I am age for age no better looking than you... im younger but not have your patiance. I am not a Greedy man however your kindness is amazing even to a woman who dont merit You being so... Where i do better than you in life is my confidance a confidant man is Sexy. If You Had confidance youd have the best woman for sure... women like looks for first instance Maybe but a Real slavic woman looks beyond just Good lucks. The way You speak bad Of yourself is not fair...... I wish i Had Time to write in Russian... Has some dont translate Well... a woman Of 46 years should be seeing your qualitys
Rick
Thanks, you are right and I am working on confidence. Guarantee it brother. Yea, maybe too kind at times.
Salvador
Let's Do it Rick!!!
I had the best emotion when the Jet Plane took off my City, I felt absolutely free of my odd past.
I flew high up to the sky,
In the most adventurous journey to meet my dear friend,
An the karma changed, it was an unveliebable trip, I met great people, I received love without asking for it.
So untie your soul,
Go for it!!
You really deserved
( And I am absolutely very sure a lot of great women will be pleased to meet with you there, give you this chance)
Your Amigo,
salvador
Это не симуляция. Пневмонией никто шутить не будет. Автору жалко денег, а женщина застудилась , был февраль месяц. Вообще, очень неуместно писать об этом на форуме. Ведь, сколько людей , столько и мнений. Расходы ,я думаю, преувеличены. Около двух лет я познакомилась с нашим отечественным мужчиной, который меня ошарашил тем, что через 1,5 месяца знакомства сказал, что расходовал на меня 100000 рублей, пришлось подсчитывать. Оказалось, совсем не так. У мужчин есть склонность преувеличивать расходы.Честно, я была в шоке после таких подсчетов .После этого отношения сразу же пошли на спад.
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