Они идут под руку с непоколебимыми мужчинами, которые никогда не "передумают" их любить.
Они рожают им детей, они отдают им свою жизнь, всю свою женственность и нежность. А затем и всю свою любовь, которая у них осталась...

И знаете, что самое забавное? Та первая женская любовь, тот фантом из прошлого в мужском обличии, он со временем начнет смотреть с завистью на ту женщину, которую когда-то давно оставил. Которую осчастливил кто-то другой.

И первая любовь еще появится в жизни женщины, протянув ей увядший букет былого, в глазах которого застынет "Вернись!"

Улыбки бывают разными, но есть одна женская улыбка, которая значит — "Никогда!"
Она, зачастую, появляется на лицах после моря вылитых слез. После рассвета, упавшего на сушу морского дна.

Всегда один и тот же занавес — самый нужный мужчина в жизни женщины, которому не нужна была в свое время она, становится не нужным никому. Даже самому себе.

Вот так вот...!

Is inherently fixed. People are incapable of transformation.

While it is true that a PSYCHOPATH is born destructive,
In fact a SOCIOPATH who has similar traits,
Develops their behaviour through
environmental influence.

The NARCISSIST also becomes NARCISSISTIC
Due to LEARNED BEHAVIOURS observed
By parents and community.

NEUROPSYCHOLOGY teaches that the human mind has PLASTICITY,
Which is the capacity for neural pathways of the brain to be remapped.
Modern traditions such as COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY (CBT)
have superseded NLP as a method to help people who are caught
In behaviours relating to LIFE TRAUMA.

We must learn as human beings that we are BIOCHEMICAL COMPUTERS
Who are most susceptible to programming during early childhood.
Many adult conditions exist as a result of the subtleties
Of childhood experiences affecting adult behaviour.

Where this understanding takes us is towards the recognition of my upgrade to the parable.

Once upon a time...

A scorpion came upon a frog by the pond.
Scorpion seems quite optimistic to frog.
“Could you carry me to the other side?
Enquired scorpion.
Ever the optimist, frog wanted to be helpful,
But was very concerned about that nature of Scorpion.
“Surely you will sting me and we will both die?”
Proclaimed frog, dismayed, but still optimistic.
“Oh no, that would be silly of me!”
Said Scorpion.
“You can be sure I won’t sting you!”

Ever the realist, frog suggested, To sit around a campfire and discuss Scorpions nature.
“My dear Scorpion, I am only a small frog, and your armour and pincers are heavy.” Said frog.
“Oh I see.” Said Scorpion. “They are very heavy for me too.”
As Scorpion began removing armour, frog noticed some green peeking through from underneath.
“My dear Scorpion, how is that you are green, just like me?” Said frog.
“Once long ago, I too was a frog.” Said Scorpion.
Frog appeared perplexed and became curious.
“How did you become a Scorpion?”
“Once upon a time... I was swimming to the other side of life and I was stung very badly, so I found myself some armour and put on these pincers to protect myself. I am weary of being hurt and hurting people. I wish that I could go back to being a frog.”
Frog was amazed at this confession. No wonder frog wanted to help Scorpion. Instinctively frog knew Scorpion was green underneath.
“I have an idea.” Said frog.
“Now that you have removed all your armour and your pincers and you are a frog again, why don’t I remind you how you can swim on your own again. Would you like to try being yourself again... without all the danger?”
“I would love that very much!” Proclaimed Scorpion.

Scorpion moved to the water.
Put one little flipper in.
Then smiled.

And became frog again.

All seemed well as frog began to swim.
Scorpion seemed happy, for a while.

Suddenly, Scorpion sings to frog, who cries out in happiness.
“Why did you take so quickly to become one of us!”

As they both slide gracefully over the water,
Scorpion says under a happy breath,
“It is my nature.”

We may become pessimistic in life, because we expect of human nature to be dangerous.
In fact, the biological computer of human beings was designed to protect us from monsters.
Dinosaurs! Bears! Tigers! Sharks! And so we have the AMYGDALA system of the brain.
Which is part of the LIMBIC SYSTEM that sends chemicals to the brain to trigger
Flight or Fight response so that we RUN or FIGHT monsters.

Harvard Business school conducted research into why it was that of two equivalent graduates, one was more successful than the other. The research revealed a startling result. That of two equally skilled graduates, the one with high emotional intelligence was on average 90% more likely to succeed than their colleagues. This is an amazing result. What this means is that EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE or the ability to SELF REGULATE EMOTIONS and develop INTER and INTRA PERSONNEL (people skills within an organisation and outside the organisation) is 90% more important than skill.

Where this goes is that the practical ability to learn how to self regulate the biochemical responses is learned during childhood. Just as the Scorpion in my fable was once a frog, Many adults were once children. All trying to get to the other side of life. Human beings become traumatised by social injustices during childhood, that affect children well into adulthood.

We perceive the one wearing ARMOUR and who has PINCERS as the enemy, for good reason. HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE and LOVED PEOPLE, LOVE PEOPLE. Yet TOUGH LOVE can assist the HURT PERSON to find SELF-LOVE and to reprocess the childhood hurt to find healing of the INNER CHILD. We can each assist this journey from scorpion back to frog, by helping the hurt individual to reintegrate their authentic identity and let go of the past hurts.

An adult who has grown up without an example of love may not understand how to be loved to inform their self-love. In such a case, others must become like parents to the child. This is why so many women say about men, “I DON’T WANT ANOTHER CHILD!” Yet the modern women uniquely holds the power in her hands to transform MAN-KIND. Women have naturally high empathy, emotional insight and communication skills with which to guide men. Men must be guided back to their authenticity, but not through adversarial argument.

It is not just men who exhibit narcissism.

While there is much abuse of women, by men, there is an extraordinarily high suicide rate among men who become so distressed by the behaviour of women that they kill themselves. In Australia, 2.4 men per day kill themselves.

We must understand that THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE IS NEGLECT. That if we are to become serious about what love is, it must be founded on COMPASSIONATE UNDERSTANDING, not just for our partner, but first for ourselves, then for our family, then our neighbours and community. But where and how do we learn to BECOME OF LOVE?

Each person will seek their own example.
Mother, Father, Sister, brother, friend.
Grandparents.

I would like to suggest that we draw wisdom for those who came before us.
Whether Buddha, Jesus or mum or dad, the attributes of love as the same.

If we are to heal each other, lets become like gardeners of each other’s hearts.
Come to the garden of Hearts each day, water the flowers in Gods garden,
With words of encouragement and praise.

Patience. Kindness. Forgiveness.

How we behave towards others, is the programming that they need to see.
The lessons are learned through observing how we are, our peaceful way.

Yet most of all, let us become beautiful people, who children look to.
The kind of love that protects and serves every child to rise
Up into life, a fully functional little froglet.
Who has no need for armour.
No need for pincers.

That all scorpions
might become
frogs.

With love.
Xoxo
Glyn

Something I've observed for a long time here is the level of "turnover" among women under 30 here. That is, they create their profile, have brief conversations, and vanish within a day or two. A lot of these women will write first, but won't even read any responses, or will read them and leave them unanswered. A lot of women that I write to first will do the same. I try to start with topics they will find interesting, as a way to "break the ice", but find that it's a lot more difficult than it seems. I've alluded to this on the forum previously, but lots of younger women here are just boring to talk to - many give simple response that are maybe 5-10 words long to messages, even after switching to communication off the site. It's not interesting at all to talk to someone like that. What is there to gain from having a conversation, but putting so little effort into it? I get the impression that such women are here for easy gratification, as I mentioned above - that they love the attention, but do not care to put in any effort, and definitely don't have any intention to meet anyone. Ladies, I know you're not all like this.

I've noticed that many of the more attractive women here have response rates below 5% and only log on once per month to re-enter the photo contests. Why is this important to them?

I've also noticed that many women don't even read profiles. I get many messages from women who do not even appear in "who viewed my profile", so I imagine they're sending out messages to many people they see in the "Search" function. If they don't even take a few seconds to know who you are, how can you take them seriously? I try to use the mail filters to eliminate low-success messages (I find the "likes" function isn't very useful), but I have criteria written in my profile that I'd hope women would respect, such as age, language, and whether they have children. I'd estimate that well over half of messages I receive here totally ignore this, and just send a message saying "Привет" (this was written about messages received over the past week but as I was finishing this post, I got yet another of these). Last year, I did meet one young woman from the site who was very well-spoken and seemed to have genuine intentions, but her English was as good as my Russian (which is to say - not great 😜  and I did not feel any connection through a translator. I also previously had a long relationship with a Russian woman I found on another site. She was mature, self-sufficient, knew what she wanted, could speak English well, and was very proactive to make steps to find her happiness. I'm sorry to report that I haven't found many like that here.

I also get the impression that many men here under 35 (and many over 35, for that matter) don't have intentions that extend beyond lust, and can be rude in the way they approach women. I don't interact with these people here, so I can't really elaborate with any experience, but I would be happy to hear from women the things that make you want to engage with a man, and the things that you don't want to hear.

While it does cost money for men to write on this site, it's really discouraging to see the women who I seek using the site so callously. The issue to me is not the money - it's the principle. Non-serious men are filtered by their unwillingness to pay for the privilege to talk here, but non-serious women ruin the experience for serious men, and draw attention away from serious women, as well.

This is where things get controversial. Although many women here are making serious attempts, I'll say this: as a woman, if you have no ability to speak another language and you're not actively learning already - I don't think you have genuine intentions. Relationships are based on communication, and presumably you are here because you want to meet a man from a country where your mother tongue is barely spoken. If you move to a country in which you do not speak the language, for a man with whom you can't have a conversation without a translator, this is a recipe for disaster. As a man, I would never put a woman in such a vulnerable and lonely situation.

For the men, if you are not willing to go visit another country, if you're not willing to learn anything about her culture, traditions or customs, or if you don't consider anything other than appearance - you don't have serious intentions.

I applaud the managers here for creating a site that is (largely) free of scammers, and is very liberal in the way they allow people to interact. I do get the impression that anyone can find their match if they put in enough time and effort here.

My ultimate question is this: Since distance dating is based entirely on digital communication to create a bond and a spark, what can serious younger men and women do to improve their experience here?