Gentlemen's club


Danny, 32 y.o.


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If you have to chase something, let it be your awesomeness. Not people!

If you have to chase something, let it be your awesomeness. Not people!


Bas, 53 y.o.


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Ukrainian Passport

Hello members
I like to invite an Ukrainian woman to my country, The Netherlands. She agrees to come.
Till now I only had contact with her using this website and Whatsapp.
She has no computer with a webcam. So I only received some photos.

She now says an International passport costs 4700 hryvnia (174 USD). This seems a lot of money to me. Can someone tell me?
I want to pay it for her but I am still not sure about her being sincere.
Thanks for your advice.

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Danny, 32 y.o.


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Singing In The Lifeboat: Ayesha Chaudhary’s Inspirational Talk

Life is a shipwreck. But we must not forget to sing in the life boats – Voltaire

Inspiration comes in all sizes, colors, from all geographies and ages and myriad corners of the world – and has the power to knock you off your feet with breathtakingly beautiful force. As a Motivational Speaker for the youth, I have looked for stories far and wide, to move my audiences. And none of them are as this little powerhouse of inspiration – Ayesha Chaudhary.

Let me tell you her story:

Ayesha Chaudhary passed away in January, 2015 after a long battle with Pulmonary Fibrosis. She was just 17 and had battled the disease since birth. But not only did she make it to sweet 17 (doctors said she won’t make past 1!), she also found love and joy, wrote poems and poetry and has even published a book! (link at the end of the article) Her disease was like a birth mark she never could shrug off her. But she hid it exceptionally well under the garb of her optimism and never complain attitude! The odds doctors gave her were highly stacked against her! But odds are what? Statistics. Mostly they don’t lie. But if you have the courage to be an outlier, and then have the courage to live that life – what are odds to you really!


In her sweet, short 8 minute inspirational talk – she gives the odds of her being alive, talks about miracles and discusses her mantra of life. Watch the inspirational talk here:

Here are 5 inspiring lessons you can take back from her talk:

1. Believe in miracles:

Medical science and statistics prove that it is a miracle that she still breathes and walks. And she believes that miracles are good things that are unlikely to happen. So true!

1st miracle – She was born with Immune Deficiency. Only one in a million are born with this rarity which reduces their life expectancy to 1 year.

2nd miracle – she had to undergo a bone marrow transplant at the most tender age of 6 months. And it is a miracle that she survived. Only 30% people survive the surgery but she did!

3rd miracle – There was only 10% chance that she would develop Pulmonary Fibrosis (hardening of lungs) as a side effect of the surgery and yet again she did!

Rely on the miracle of life!

2. Live in the moment:

It is amazing how a small child talks about such a profound lesson of life with such ease, that too with the example of her good times with her puppy (she calls him Rolo). When we see life from a distance, we misinterpret it as a cumbersome and difficult journey to undertake. But when we take it hour by hour, moment by moment, it all seems much easier isn’t it? Don’t we keep saying ‘time just flew away’? That is what happens when you learn to live in the moment like her!

She forgot all the pain of her syringes, her illness and sadness when she played with her pets and cuddled into them. She concentrated on ‘what she could still do’ and not on ‘what she could no longer do’ and hence went ahead and got a photoshoot on a wheelchair since she couldn’t go to school! It is very easy to sit and cry over things we can’t do. But it takes courage to stand up and decide that we choose happiness over everything else in this world and do the things we still can. And she did just that.

3. Opportunities in Difficulties:

Chances never elude us if we are smart and quick enough to recognize and catch hold of them. Being confined to a wheelchair, she couldn’t do much. But that gave her loads of time to pursue her passions.

And it is true that when God takes away something, He gives something else in such an immense quality and quantity that you could live your whole life on that one gift. Aisha is a brilliant painter and spends a lot of her time painting. Infact, she even claims that she has painted more in her illness than in her wellness. If she can do it, why can’t we?

4. Never forget to dream:

Dreams are something that should be chased incessantly because they do come true. And there is nothing wrong in dreaming huge. It doesn’t cost a dime!

Lying motionless in her bed, Aisha used to dream of walking to the market with friends, dancing at her cousin’s wedding, visualized her costume for that dance, running around with her dogs and much more. And she willed herself into all that.

Mind is not a very difficult thing to beat. All you need is that extra bit of effort. The power of the mind is limitless. All things happen twice. Once in your mind and once in reality.

5. Pets are the best medicine:

Only the one, who has ever experienced the magic in the love a pet could give, can understand the sentiments behind her statement. It is not a kind of love you would ever see in human beings and it gives you immense power to fight the pain. More than what you could imagine. That’s why she says, ‘Buy a dog when nothing else works’

It is really outstanding, the way Aisha has turned around her life and decided to think only about the good things and the positives. There will always be too much negativity to pull us down. And there will always be something to sing about, something to be grateful for. The pick is ours!

She believes that her life is in the middle of a shipwreck and now is the best time to sing in the life boats. And she is doing just that. The challenges that life has thrown at her have helped her live a more enriched and intense life than may be what we have lived so far. Happiness is not a gift we take, but a choice we make. She ends her awe-inspiringly awesome talk with an even beautiful quote,

“My soul would have no rainbow, if my eyes had no tears”

She passed away shortly after that. You can see how she is all grown up. But in reality, she was very sick at the time and couldn’t breathe without a tube. But she wanted to look good in the pictures so she spoke without the tube anyway. She actually wanted to stand and talk, but her body couldn’t permit that strain! Let me tell you – there was not a single dry eye in the audience when she was done. In an auditorium filled with stalwarts, she got a resounding applause and a standing ovation.

She taught them the vanity of complaining and life and the power of acceptance that day. So if you are right now complaining about something, I hope this puts your life in perspective a little! More power to your soul Ayesha. You are a true rockstar, wherever you are!


Danny, 32 y.o.


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Motivation You DECIDE to execute a plan for yourself.

You DECIDE to execute a plan for yourself.
You do it for a 1 or 2 days but then. ..Phusssss !!
Your old habits and almost the entire world claims you and prevents you from DOING the right ( & you end up doing the Easy ). You give up.
After a few days you make a commitment again to urself and the same vicious cycle repeats.
The only 3 things which can undo this are  1) Your crystal clear clarity about the benefits which will accrue to you should you meet the self discipline by saying NO to the exciting traps . Usually vague clarity leads to diffusion. Extreme clarity has a higher chance of seeing you through .
2) Your decision to say a NO to smaller pleasures of life .
Say a NO for the bigger pleasure I. E. The joy of seeing your decisions being implemented.
Smaller pleasures could be gossip , TV mobile phone (WhatsApp, FB bakar ), friends (who will prod u to hang out with them) & etc etc

3) Your dogged decision making to see your decisions through for the first ONE WEEK.

Normally when u do it for 7 days , something within u changes and slightly mutates your weak mind permanently for better. Then even if u miss your routines for a day or two ; the TASTE of success will trail you through to exert again.
7 days will become 15 and then 30. Soon it might juts become an overriding habit.
Then you ROAR .
Rise & Shine !
Keep working till you convert the lambs of your mind into lions.


Danny, 32 y.o.


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Every relationship will get ‘boring” after you’ve been
together for years. Love isn‘t a feeling. ifs a
commitment; to love every day, physically and
emotionally. It’s difficult, it’s not always laughs. smiles
and fun. People tend to quit when it stops being fun,
and they go look for someone else, “Oh the spark is
gone.‘ No, that’s not how it works. You want
somebody to never give up on you, and love you
unconditionallf? Do the same. Be the change. This
isn‘t Hollywood, this isn‘t the movies. That shit isn’t
real. Love someone when you don’t want to.
when they aren't the easiest to deal with.
when they are hard to love.That’s the realist shit there is.


Danny, 32 y.o.


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(Tag the important and the not so important men in your life. This is worth reading)

One day one father is having a conversation with his son.

The one that happens after I catch his eye doing what male eyes do well – following an object of lust. We will probably be out at the mall, because that’s what dads do with their sons, and I’ll catch the look. Maybe we’ll go to the beach and see it. Doesn’t matter where it is, there will come a time when I will see it. And then it will be time for this conversation.
Hey, come here. Let me talk to you. I saw you look at her. I’m not judging you or shaming you. I know why you did. I get it. But we have to talk about it because how you look at a woman matters.

A lot of people will try and tell you that a woman should watch how she dresses so she doesn’t tempt you to look at her wrongly. Here is what I will tell you. It is a woman’s responsibility to dress herself in the morning. It is your responsibility to look at her like a human being regardless of what she is wearing. You will feel the temptation to blame her for your wandering eyes because of what she is wearing – or not wearing. But don’t. Don’t play the victim. You are not a helpless victim when it comes to your eyes. You have full control over them. Exercise that control. Train them to look her in the eyes. Discipline yourself to see her, not her clothes or her body. The moment you play the victim you fall into the lie that you are simply embodied reaction to external stimuli unable to determine right from wrong, human from flesh.

Look right at me. That is a ridiculous lie.

You are more than that. And the woman you are looking at is more than her clothes. She is more than her body. There is a lot of talk about how men objectify women, and largely, it is true. Humans objectify the things they love in effort to control them. If you truly love a person, do not reduce them to an object. The moment you objectify another human – woman or man, you give up your humanity.

There are two views regarding a woman’s dress code that you will be pressured to buy into. One view will say that women need to dress to get the attention of men. The other view will say women need to dress to protect men from themselves. Son, you are better than both of these. A woman, or any human being, should not have to dress to get your attention. You should give them the full attention they deserve simply because they are a fellow human being. On the other side, a woman should not have to feel like she needs to protect you from you. You need to be in control of you.
Unfortunately, much of how the sexes interact with each is rooted in fear. Fear of rejection, fear of abuse, fear of being out of control. In some ways, the church has added to this. We fear each other because we have been taught the other is dangerous. We’ve been taught a woman’s body will cause men to sin. We’re told that if a woman shows too much of her body men will do stupid things. Let’s be clear: a woman’s body is not dangerous to you. Her body will not cause you harm. It will not make you do stupid things. If you do stupid things it is because you chose to do stupid things. So don’t contribute to the fear that exists between men and women.

A woman’s body is beautiful and wonderful and mysterious. Respect it by respecting her as an individual with hopes and dreams and experiences and emotions and longings. Let her be confident. Encourage her confidence. But don’t do all this because she is weaker. That’s the biggest bunch of crap out there. Women are not weaker than men. They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.

I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes, but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.
My hope is that changing how you see women will change how you are around them. Don’t just be around women. Be with women.

Because in the end, they want to be with you. Without fear of being judged, or shamed, or condemned, or objectified, or being treated as other. And that’s not just what women want. That’s what people want.
Ultimately, it’s what you want.


Danny, 32 y.o.


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Found this story and want to share with you :)

Once Krishna and Arjuna were walking towards a village. Arjuna was pestering Krishna, asking him why Karna should be considered an unparalleled Donor & not him.
Krishna turned two mountains into gold.
Then said, Arjuna, distribute these two gold mountains among villagers, but you must donate every bit of it.
Arjuna went into the village, and proclaimed he was going to donate gold to every villager, and asked them to gather near the mountain. The villagers sang his praises and Arjuna walked towards the mountains with a huffed up chest.
For two days and two nights Arjuna shoveled gold from the mountain and donated to each villager. The mountains did not diminish in the slightest.
Most villagers came back and stood in queue within minutes. Now Arjuna was exhausted, but not ready to let go of his Ego, told Krishna he couldn't go on any longer without rest.
Then Krishna called Karna and told him to donate every bit of the two gold mountains.

Karna called the villagers, and said Those two Gold mountains are yours, and walked away.

Arjuna sat dumbfounded. Why hadn't this thought occurred to him.
Krishna smiled mischievously and told him, Arjuna subconsciously, you were attracted to the gold, you regretfully gave it away to each villager, giving them what you thought was a generous amount. Thus the size of your donation to each villager depended only on your imagination.
Karna holds no such reservations. Look at him walking away after giving away a fortune, he doesn't expect people to sing his praises, he doesn't even care if people talk good or bad about him behind his back. That is the sign of a man already on the path of enlightenment.
Giving with an Expectation of a Return in the form of a Compliment or Thanks is not a Gift, then it becomes a Trade.
Give without expecting anything in Return....


Rich, 46 y.o.


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Tips for men on here - one veterans insights



I have been going to Ukraine (Kiev) for about three years (from Canada) and have had three very serious relationships and probable been on about 30 dates (not one bad one). Here are some tips:


1. Stick to women in main ports like Kiev or Moscow (less travelling and costs). Favor Ukraine over Russia as you need no visa. Kiev is an amazing city and the women are beautiful and friendly.

2. NEVER EVER send money - EVER. If they ask for it, they are scamming. If they say they can get cheaper flights if they pay, they are scamming. If they won't video chat, they are scamming (give them some time of course). If they have many sad stories, drop them. Even if they are not scamming they might just be negative.

3. It is fine to go much younger, but be prepared for a less mature woman. This is obvious, but beauty doesn't last long trust me. I dated a 25 yr old for 3 months (I am 46) and though a lot of fun, at times it was very frustrating, same with one 29 yr old.  There are many beautiful older women and trust me guys Ukrainian women know how to treat their men.

4. Be prepared for cultural differences - in thought and action. Some are harmless and some will drive you nuts hahah.

5. If you do start travelling there, pick one airline and sign up for points. I am now skypriority with KLM and get upgraded to business all the time.

6. Don't be cheap.

7. Buy them small gifts and flowers. Flowers is not to say sorry in Ukraine, it is for love. Men give flowers all the time and if you don't she will wonder what she did wrong.

8. Don't drink too much. They will notice and since this is a cultural issue in Slavic countries she will drop you. Plus you might do something done.

9. Treat them with respect and like ladies. Be a gentleman. They owe you NOTHING for going there, certainly not sex. They are not "easy", they are ladies and generally well brought up and educated. You to earn their trust and their affections. Again, no matter what you spent to be there (that was your choice) they owe you NOTHING.

10. Red flags. If you see three things that bother or worry you early on, move on (arguing alot would be one, mean to strangers, etc..). You will regret it if you don't (unfortuantely - trust me on this one).


Good luck and remember be a gentleman - these women do not deserve to be treated poorly just because they are from a poorer country.



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Danny, 32 y.o.


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Beautiful , awesomely beautiful story sent by a friend. Felt like SHARING with you..

Often we wonder, “What did I do to deserve this?” or “Why did God have to do this to me?” Here is a wonderful explanation!
A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she’s failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, “Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.”
Here, have some cooking oil,” her Mother offers. “Yuck” says her daughter.
“How about a couple raw eggs?” “Gross, Mom!”
“Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?” “Mom, those are all yucky!”
To which the mother replies: “Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!
God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good!

We just have to trust Him and,most importantly TRUST your own FORCE. Your faith should not droop down & then eventually, they will all make something wonderful!


Yavuz, 41 y.o.


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русские женщины..

Российские женщины становятся все западнее. 10 лет назад все было по-другому. Это давало уверенность, гармонию и любовь. Сейчас будет задан вопрос о работе, карьере и в других Материальных вещах. Разве я не права ?

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Danny, 32 y.o.


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I promise you'll just love this story :)

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other.
He turned to his disciples smiled ‘n asked.
‘Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?’
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout.’
‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.’ asked the saint
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, .
‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.
What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…’

The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper ‘n they get even closer to each other in their love.

Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other ‘n that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’
He looked at his disciples and said. ‘So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.’


Danny, 32 y.o.


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Single and smiling: Why young People are less interested in getting married?

There is an unspoken rule in the Indian society that has forced countless lives to sacrifice their 'life'. As soon as one enters their mid-twenties (or, sometimes even before that), the discussions of their marriage plans reach their ears even before they have themselves pondered a thought over it.

"Oh, you won't find many good options if you wait for long."
"What about your biological clock? You must have kids before you turn 30."
"Your marriage is a responsibility on us, get married and relieve us of it."
"You will end up dying lonely if you don't get married."
The concerned relatives and friends have countless opinions and logic to force one to get married, and let's be honest—many have succumbed to this pressure, and many will in the coming future.
But, there's a growing breed of millennials in the country who are defying these societal norms, and are willingly staying 'single' by choice. For them, age is just a number and finding the 'one' has nothing to do with it. Let's take a look at their life and what keeps them going...

"I am yet to find a man, man enough to handle me"

Meet Ayandrali Dutta, 38, who's a travel blogger and journalist by profession. She is unpacking her luggage after her recent trip to Maldives, and has a smug smile on her face. The trip had everything she desired, romance, fun, adventure, and beautiful memories. But the best part about the trip was she did not need a "partner" or "companion" to enjoy the excursion. She was all by herself and, in fact, she has been living her life like that. "I have been single since quite some time now. I have had my share of relationships but nothing worked out. I feel men could not handle a girl like me who's super independent, can manage everything herself—from fixing punctured tyres to managing the entire household—and is professionally successful. I am yet to find a man, man enough to handle me. Till then, I choose to stay single and I have no complaints from life."

Ayandrali loves her freedom and is not willing to trade it for any relationship that it not worth it. "I am comfortable in my own skin, and love the fact I do not need to take someone's permission to head out for a party, attend an event, go for heritage walk or travel every month."

Similar is the story of Ruchika Dhawan, 35, who believes life can be beautiful without a partner too. "I never wanted my twenties to be just about completing my education, getting married and having kids. I was still looking for the purpose of my life and not mentally prepared to get married. So, I had to put my foot down and tell my family that marriage is not my priority at the moment," shares Ruchika, a life coach and author by profession.

Being single means being lonely?
Just like every other decision in life, being single comes with its own set of pros and cons. One of them may be the emotional void, and Ayandrali, who does not deny it, opines, "I completely second the fact that being single can be lonely sometimes. But on the other hand, I also see married people who feel lonely as well. For me, it's more about how to perceive things. What is the guarantee that my husband will give me emotional support when I need it? What if he's carrying his own emotional baggage, and I have to handle his issues along with mine? I definitely don't want that in life."

Ruchika has her own take. "Not everyone needs a companion for emotional support. I have my students, some quality friends and family who stand by my side always."
Abhishek Agarwal, 39, feels nobody is single by choice; it's about when destiny drops the right people in your life. "I have no qualms in settling down but I need to find the person with whom I can spend the rest of my life with. Everybody has their own journey. Some find love in their school days and some take their own sweet time, like me."
Casual dating, flings and family...

What about casual dating and flings? Ayandrali instantly answers, "Why not! Everyone need some quirkiness in your life! On a serious note, flings have taught me life lessons, and have actually made me a stronger version of myself. I don't trust anyone in the blink of an eye, and have a better grip on my life. In fact, being single has liberated me from preconceived notions about relationships."
And what about having a family to fall back on after a tiring day? "The societal norms are changing. I don't mind adopting a kid and having my own little family one day. Life has taught me to live in present. I am okay settling down if I find the right person, and completely fine even if I don't," adds Ruchika.

For some, career comes first
It's all about how you prioritise things. We belong to a generation that is quite career oriented, and is running a rat race to be better than their peers. Is that impacting the relationships status as well? Well, to some extent yes! "I have been completely absorbed in building my career since my twenties. I actually never had time for relationships. How could I have committed to a person when I was under financial responsibilities and had career on the top of my priority list," tells Rohan Jain, 34.

Oh! Commitment is scary!
With live-in relationships becoming common and dating apps available just a few clicks away, the concept of commitment, dedication and loyalty have taken a back seat for many. In fact, our generation is growing more inclined towards hook ups than commitment. Is sexual gratification something that millennials are relying on today? "Committing to someone for life is a big responsibility. I see people staying together in a loveless marriage just for the sake of having respect in society. Then, there are cases where people grow out of love within a few years of relationship. Ergo, I am scared of venturing into such waters. I am an emotional person and don't want to place my happiness in someone else's hand. I will better stay single, and stay away from any commitment," opines Yatin Khuranna, 36, entrepreneur.


Pete, 46 y.o.

United States

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I'm amazed by some men.....

So I was reading the "Did you know" section on the main page and I found this little nugget:

"Women have different desires than men. They want courting, conversation, gentle touching and only when they are aroused are they ready to go further. According to statistics, approximately 50% of women do not like to view men's private parts when they are not aroused. That's why the first 'introductory' letters with photos of men's private parts very often offend them. These are the worst introductory letters."

It totally stuns me that some guys would actually send a woman they don't know a picture of their junk as a means of introduction. Even if they have an impressive member, how can they think that this will get a good response? Could it be that western women are more open to this and it actually works with them?  

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Danny, 32 y.o.


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Primary Teaching of every religion

Primary Teaching of every religion


Danny, 32 y.o.


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Veteran actress and politician Hema Malini: Russians are crazy about me

Veteran actress and politician Hema Malini, who is here to receive an award for her contribution to cinema, is overwhelmed with the love she has received in Russia. She said people want to see her in part two of her memorable film 'Seeta Aur Geeta'. Hema, 68, is here to attend the 4th Indian Film Festival of Russia (IFFR), which is honouring her and filmmaker Madhur Bhandarkar.

Sharing glimpses from her trip and the event, Hema tweeted on Sunday, "In Moscow to receive an award for my contribution to Indian cinema and popularising it in Russia and the world. The way Russians are crazy about me is unbelievable."

In Moscow to receive an award for my contribution to Indian cinema and popularising it in Russia and the world.

"Especially 'Seeta Aur Geeta'. They are ready to see part 2 if I'm going to act in it even now 40 years later!"

The way Russians are crazy abt me is unbelievable. Espcially Seeta Geeta. They are ready to see Pt 2 if I’m going to act n it even now 40 yrs later!


Looking radiant in a red traditional sari, Bollywood's 'dreamgirl' also shared some images with the Indian Ambassador to Russia Pankaj Saran, and his wife. She also posed with a fan, apart from doing some touristy things. "This morning walked around the famous Red Square," she tweeted along with a photograph in which she is seen dressed in casuals.

The event left her overwhelmed. "Such a proud moment! My popular songs from Hindi films were performed beautifully amidst loud applause from the huge audience gathered," Hema wrote.


Danny, 32 y.o.


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I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome It is a Story of a girl called Natalie

A few months ago Mel got in touch with me. She’s beautiful, fun, outgoing, creative, runs a successful business as an attorney etc etc. Guess who she’s pining for? A guy from the wrong side of the tracks who deals drugs, has spent time in prison and has gone back to his child’s mother. She’s known him since she was child and had worked hard to get out and achieve more than counterparts in her neighbourhood and yet her entire life has derailed in a matter of months because this loser doesn’t want to be with her.

Even she doesn’t understand why she wants to be with him as all he has going for him is being great in bed and very good looking. But the reason why she wants him isn’t because she actually wants and loves him but because she is seeking validation of her worthiness and self-worth because she doesn’t understand how and why he has come not to want her.

Katie is practically stalking a guy who has cheated on her, slapped her about, and told her he’s done with her.


Even though Val’s guy took off with thirty grand of her money and left her struggling with debts, her biggest concern is not how to get the money back or how to recover, but why he chose to be with the other, seemingly less attractive, less successful woman instead of her.

Countless women have shared stories with me of being involved with a guy who blew hot and cold, used them for sex, still had a wife or girlfriend, cheated on them, disappeared regularly, took their money, used them for a job, used them to gain access to their friends or to enhance their career, was disliked by all and sundry, or whatever the story is, and you know what?

Every, single, last woman was still expressing disbelief that somebody who had behaved without love, care, trust, and respect and had shown themselves to be a poor relationship partner, didn’t want them.

It’s almost like it doesn’t matter what shitty qualities these guys have – we want the validation.

I too remember not being that into an ex and yet I stuck out the relationship on and off for two years. Why? Because aside from my ego not being able to take it and wanting to ‘prove’ myself to him and not having enough self-respect, I also suffered with I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome also known more crudely as Why The Eff Doesn’t This Loser Want Me!

This is the behaviours and mindset centred around the bewildered disbelief you experience when someone that you secretly or even openly acknowledge as being a poor choice for a relationship or ‘beneath you’, doesn’t want you. You’ll struggle to accept that the relationship is over and/or that they’ve moved on with someone else and at it’s worst, the rejection will cause you to feel trapped in your feelings and have you reacting to it and doing things that at their best are embarrassing and at their worst, humiliating.

The confusion kicks in because in knowing that they’re not good enough for you and that you actually can and should do better, you wonder what is wrong with you that someone ‘like them’ doesn’t want you. You will also fall prey to I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome if like a lot of people with dodgy love habits, you have a habit of being involved with people who you know don’t quite stack up because you think it will be easier for them to love you and that you are less likely to lose them or be rejected by them. If I had a pound for every woman who has ever emailed or commented expressing abject horror at the fact that her habitually emotionally unavailable guy or assclown doesn’t want her, I’d be a very rich woman.

Why doesn’t he want me? I think the fact that he’s regarded as an asshole is enough of an indicator that it’s time for you to stop wanting him.

Who does he think he is rejecting me? You can’t assume a position of always being the one to reject or choosing people on the basis of them being less likely to reject you because you think you bring more to the table.

How did it go from him chasing a disinterested me to me pounding down his door trying to win him back? This in itself indicates that you’ve become more interested because they’re less interested which is a very unhealthy situation because your hook is rejection.

I know he’s no good for me but I can’t understand why he doesn’t love/want me? If you know he’s no good for you, why are you concerning yourself with why they don’t want you when you should be concerning yourself with getting the hell away from them? This is your ego getting out of whack as you’ve decided that you need to get ‘love’ from a ‘broken’ source and can’t cope with the fact that someone who has blatantly demonstrated their inability won’t revolutionise the wheel for you.

I’m a smart, educated, attractive, successful woman – why doesn’t he want to be with me? How could he choose her over me? Even if you do genuinely believe you have something more to offer, they don’t have to take it and what you think they want and need, is not the same as what they think they want and need – it’s not up to you.

Seeking validation is about getting confirmation that something is true and many people are caught in the trap of basing their lives around the cumbersome task of seeking validation instead of working on their own self-esteem and validating themselves within healthier partnerings.

Not interested in the person that wants them, they want the person, no matter how lacking in character they are, to confirm their worthiness by wanting them.

We really need to wise up, toughen up, smell the proverbial coffee and grow some backbone and self-respect.

If you are experiencing I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome, it’s time to have a little conversation with your ego because the fact that you want someone because you think it’s outrageous that they don’t want you and your ego can’t cope with it, is, aside from being outrageous, a signal that the relationship was doomed.

People who have I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome are reliant on feeling like they’re on a pedestal and in fact, have a bit of a superiority complex which in itself is disrespectful to anyone who they’re involved with.

For the person on the receiving end of I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome, they’re often wondering what the hell you see in them and it’s their own ego that had them chasing you or wanting to be with you in the first place. They might have thought they didn’t stand a cats hope in hell of being with you but from the moment you gave them the time of day, it became a black mark against you and they recognised that in you wanting to be with them, there was very likely something wrong with you.

As I said to Mel, don’t you think your drug dealing ex was wondering what why a woman who’d busted her proverbial nuts to overcome her upbringing and become an attorney, was doing with him? I actually said to her: What the hell are you doing with this guy?

If any doubt, write down everything about this guy on a piece of paper, and then ask yourself why the hell your ego is struggling to process why they don’t want you and why you’re not racing to distance yourself from them.

If these people have any sense, they shouldn’t want you and while you may not thank me or them now, they’re actually doing you a massive favour and setting you free, hopefully to do better by yourself.

For some of you, part of the whole I Can’t Believe They Don’t Want Me Syndrome is about being used to getting what you want and being caught short when someone doesn’t dance to your beat. The danger is that when you’re used to getting what you want, not only will your ego struggle with the rejection, but you may also find that you coast into relationships because you don’t really ever have to try. What you may see if you look back over your relationships is that some of them were half-hearted.

For me, I got over myself and realised that soothing my ego at the expense of my self-esteem was not something that was worth throwing my life away on. I had to cut my losses because it was pretty galling when I realised that I had stayed in a relationship with someone who I hadn’t actually been attracted to, who I hadn’t really actually liked, and who even after all that time I still couldn’t really come up with any overriding reasons to stay, and all this because my ego couldn’t cope with the fact that they didn’t want me.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Because we don’t want to get love from someone with the capabilities to treat us with love, care, trust, and respect – we want to get it from someone who feeds into our beliefs and mirrors our pattern and so when someone doesn’t want us, it confirms the negative stuff that we openly and quietly think about ourselves. And I should stress – by capability, it’s not about you thinking they can love you because you think they loved someone else or you experienced it briefly. It’s consistently having the ability to love you over a sustained period of time.

Never demand that someone love you because you have a sense of entitlement to their love.

You are not entitled to their love and you’re certainly not more entitled to it because they’re a ‘loser’ and you’re not, so surely they should want you.

If you continue to pursue them instead of working your way through the loss and processing the ‘rejection’, you will alienate them because you’ll be like a disgruntled customer who just won’t take no for an answer and that is wholly unattractive and will cause you to lose your dignity and self-respect even if you don’t realise it initially.

Make no mistake – if you become obsessed with the questions that your ego raises, you will watch everything in your life take a battering. I’ve seen people lose their family, friends, health, career, money and more because they’re too busy struggling with their ego.

From the moment someone doesn’t want you, it’s time for you to start working on not wanting them and accepting that it’s over, whether it’s the relationship or the dream. If you habitually want people that don’t want you, you need to examine your own genuine capacity for a relationship, as you are hiding behind the illusions of being hijacked by your imagination and you’re only getting interested when you know they can’t/won’t reciprocate which is of course, a sign of your own emotional unavailability.

The fact that someone doesn’t want you, is a red flag and makes you fundamentally incompatible which means it’s time to opt out, process the loss, and accept. If you focus on doing this, your ego will catch up with the rest of you. If you focus on obsessing about them not wanting you, the sense of rejection will just increase. You have to decide where you want to put your energies.

Your thoughts?

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Danny, 32 y.o.


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Here are some of the pitfalls of casual sex and why such casual relationships don’t work out well –

1. There is nothing casual about casual sex How can there be!

Casual is something you can do anywhere, with anyone, about anything. Can you have sex with just about anyone, at anyplace?

“I don’t want to be wise”, “I do it because it makes me happy”, “What I do with my body should be my choice”, “Why is sex such a taboo in this country of over 1 billion people”, “It’s no one’s business if I do something to make myself happy”: how people protest when this topic comes up.

And they would be right, if these things were true. No problem with you spending time with whoever you want. It is your life. Concern however is with 1) where it unknowingly leads you to and 2) what about people who are unable to handle it. So, if you are someone who thinks they can fiddle with as many underwears like a boss without losing their shit– you might be too evolved for this post


How can a process that creates humans be casual? You are dressing up and then undressing to do this. Doesn’t sound casual at all. Although the TV, Movies and Internet would differ in their view about this (Reason- TRP goals).


What Eastern Philosophy says about the ‘casuality of’ Casual Sex?

Many of us misunderstand ancient Indian yogic philosophy when it comes to casual sex and sexual pursuits, practices of monogamy and moderation, why it does not approve of casual sex etc. That’s because those many of us have never bothered to read those texts.

Without getting into much detail here, let me tell you – the yogic science says our body operates on energy circulation. Sexual energy is the lowest on the energy scoreboard and it originates in the lower most part of the body. Up along the spine, there are six more chakras to unlock, six more powerful energy sources to activate, and six higher levels of joy to experience. If you want to exist on the lowest level of joy and pleasure, so be it!

Moderation is advocated to ensure you find time for higher pursuits. Yes! Sex is important in a relationship but Sex is not the only way to merge. And if it is the only way for someone then that person is lying grossly low on the evolution plane. Otherwise, what do the saints and rishis care – about what you choose to do with your body parts. It is no one’s business but yours – as to which body part you choose to use more, your brains or your genital organs.

If you want to know more, do watch Sadhguru’s take on sex obsession in this amazing video.

2.Casual Sex creates an illusion of a relationship, not a solid foundation

I know you are getting flashbacks of movies like ‘Friends with Benefits’ and ‘No strings attached’. Come back to the present.

The advent of Netflix, fast internet, the proliferation of sitcoms needs to be treated with caution. I know we are in a global culture but we also need the mental ability to process it and see where it fits in our lives – before blindly accepting everything as suitable and doable just because two actors on TV are doing it.

Yes Joey may have hooked up casually all throughout the 10 seasons of ‘FRIENDS’ but when he really ended up liking Rachel, the casual thing didn’t work. Monica and Chandler had to work really hard on their relationship which started with casual maybe went through a lot of grind. What I am saying is – it won’t be as ‘easy peasy’ as all the Hollywood rom-coms make it look like. They never show what happens after the honeymoon period because that’s when all hell breaks loose–

When you have sex too quickly, you are mostly letting your hormones do the talking. Logic, judgement and clothes are usually out of the window. It is like a drug high. When the high ends, chances of it ‘becoming’ your dream relationship are very rare. If at all it sustains, it will take a really long time and hard work to turn it into a workable relationship. And now you probably don’t like that talking, thinking, clothed person but you have come too far.

Why not put in that level of work from the start!

I am not saying it is not fun and exciting. It sure is. But maybe only for those 15-20 minutes when the endorphins made you think you two have so much in common and this should never end.

Sex often creates an illusion of a relationship. But it does not lay a solid ground for one. In the heat of the moment, people say things they probably mean at that point. But when they go back and heartbeat is back to normal, most people don’t intend to act on them. A calm heart makes the best decisions, not a raging libido.


You can recover from it twice, maybe thrice. But it is like getting addicted to substance. Every time you use, you need a little bit more to get high. But when you come crashing down to reality, the fall is harder than the last. Till you reach a point of no return and all reality is lost. I know people who get so addicted to this impulsive instant ‘feel-good’ gratification that they don’t want to invest in a real relationship. Casual sex is too easy. But its pitfall is that – it makes you more and more commitment phobic, as every time you get attached a little and it doesn’t work out – you go one step back. It never takes you forward.

3. Casual relationships have short shelf lives

Sometimes, I really want to go ahead and do a market research on the shelf life of the app ‘Tinder’. It has become the poster child app for casual sex, one night stands and casual relationships. And it is leaving behind many dissatisfied customers.

Could it so be – because these casual relationships have a short life span?

I have many misgivings about my understanding of sex as casual. You are choosing to be “naked” in front of someone and you are saying:

You don’t want to know about him,
You don’t want to be exclusive,
It’s okay since you are using protection (BTW, there are STDs that can get transferred even with protection)
You are willing to go near someone’s privates without knowing the level of hygiene they maintain, their physical habits, their health issues etc.
Call it ‘backward’ but makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER to me! I am old school and happy to be. I’m not saying ‘save yourself for marriage’. But I am requesting that you exercise caution, and get to know someone before taking this step. And if even after knowing someone it doesn’t work out, then you would know – you tried your level best not to get hurt, you took care of yourself!

See- majority of people is moving around wearing masks. You would be much better in your heart and soul when you take their masks off first before you take off their lingerie.

There is a PATTERN to all this.

Firstly, I have a bone to pick with bar pickups. I am working with the assumption that most bar encounters end in casual sex. So my problem is this mixture of alcohol and raging hormones. Why can’t people pick each other at book stores! At max it would lead to a ‘casual conversation’ and everyone will go home happy and emotionally unhurt. And even better – intellectually satisfied! I find that to be a more provocative deal).

Anyway, you picked someone at the bar. You went on and did all the stuff. You met again a couple of times. You laughed together, you got interested in each other lives. You slowly became friends with benefits. But as you dug deeper, you found their life wasn’t that interesting. Two scenarios here:

Even if it is interesting – the premise was casual. So this casual-ness will always be the common point in your relationship. You both caught a stray and used it for your pleasure. So what if things became serious after that! The reason you met is because you both thought casual sex is fine. If it was okay before, it is often assumed to be okay in the future too. One reason why so many divorces happen because of cheating spouses! For them, causal is okay.
You were casual from the beginning and you conveyed it. But when the other person started showing more interest, you started freaking out. You nodded and portrayed everything is fine but inwardly you cringed about ‘ye kya ho raha hai mere saath’! You started avoiding that person and it just starts going south from there. Soon it all becomes too complex. Painful too.

Everyone realizes it sooner than later that ‘Sex is not ethereal but ephemeral’. I know of friends who are into casual relationships (they think) but end up wanting more, that ‘wanting more’ not getting reciprocated and then jumping on to the next casual one. Is that working in the best of your interest? I am just looking out for you here.

And the pattern continues. Very few people have the courage to stop themselves from slipping into this rabbit hole of feel-good, short term, fun, casual relationships based on booty calls and casual sex. What sitcoms don’t show you is how it leads to loneliness, anxiety, depression and commitment issues as the aftermath of ‘being the cool dudes and chicks”.


It is not that that those who indulge in casual sex have moral flaws. What you do with your time and body is your prerogative and no one’s business, as long as you don’t hurt anyone. But what about the hurt you cause yourself – by rabbiting down the depression hole, consistent emptiness, loneliness- the genesis of which is usually when your sewers meet some random else’s gutters.

From where I stand, ‘fuck’ and ‘focus’ don’t really go hand in hand because the mind doesn’t forget. Neither does the body. We get used to bodies like google saves your ‘search hits’ and preserves cookie data for the next time you are in such a situation.

That’s why, it often so happens that people keep going back to their douchebag hook-ups even after they have been treated unfairly and disrespectfully. They are so desperate, they can’t say no even if it kills their self-respect. Don’t feed those people who do not have the basic human tendency to treat you well even if it was just a casual relationship. Have the courage to say no to lower standards wherever possible.


Danny, 32 y.o.


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I always believe and say that. In life whatever happens, happens for good and it happens for a certain reason.

If you just observe your life carefully there is something or the other positive in it. You may not get the positive results or you may not see the positivity at that particular point of time. But later on, definitely you will say that it was good.

Always try to look on the positive side. I know it’s very easy to say but very difficult to follow .But at least, try it.

In your times of adversities just remember God.

If god is not giving what you want may be he has some better plans for you. Have patience.

God never does anything wrong with people. He always gives us what we deserve. If you deserve a medal he will give you but if don’t deserve it, he will not give you. He always knows what his child wants and gives you that. If he is giving you pain he wants to make you stronger. If he is giving you trouble, difficulties, he wants to make you more powerful. But he gives you, what you deserve.


Try to be happy in whichever situation you are.

Try to understand the wants of situation. May be God wants to make you so strong that you can face the adversities of life.

God may be trying to show the different world or a new world where you can grow and explore yourself. He knows, in which situation we can perform well, where we can adjust or where we can excel ourselves.

So, whatever happens, it always happens for good.


Danny, 32 y.o.


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Beautiful , awesomely beautiful story sent by a friend. Felt like SHARING with you...

Often we wonder, “What did I do to deserve this?” or “Why did God have to do this to me?” Here is a wonderful explanation!

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she’s failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, “Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.”

Here, have some cooking oil,” her Mother offers. “Yuck” says her daughter.
“How about a couple raw eggs?” “Gross, Mom!”

“Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?” “Mom, those are all yucky!”

To which the mother replies: “Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good!


We just have to trust Him and,most importantly TRUST your own FORCE. Your faith should not droop down & then eventually, they will all make something wonderful!


Danny, 32 y.o.


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Deep Emotional Story Must read it.

After his father's death, the Son decided to leave his mother at old age home and visited her on and off.
Once he received a call from old age home....Mom very serious ..... please come to visit.
Son went and saw mom very critical, on her dying bed.
He asked: Mom what can I do for you.
Mom replied... "Please install fans in the old age home, there are none.... Also put a fridge for betterment of food because many times I slept without food".
Son was surprised and asked: mom, while you were here you never complained, now you have few hours left and you are telling me all this, why?
Mom replied....."it's OK dear, I've managed with the heat, hunger & pain, but when your children will send you here, I am afraid you will not be able to manage

Truth no 1 :
nobody is real in this world except Mother..

Truth no. 2 :
a poor person has no friends..

Truth no. 3 :
people do not like good thoughts they like good looks..


Truth no 4 :
people respect the money not the person..

Truth no 5 :
the person you love the most, will hurt you the most !

Truth no 6 :
"Truth is Simple, But, The Moment YOU try to Explain it...
It Becomes Difficult"

Truth no 7 :
"When you are happy you enjoy the music", but
"when you are sad, you understand the lyrics".

Truth no 8 :
IN LIFE Two things define you-
"Your patience" when you have nothing...
"Your attitude" when you have everything...
Rightly said "The internet shows us how small the world is...but a missing plane shows, how big our planet is.."..


Danny, 32 y.o.


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SHARING an old classic. You For sure will love it :)

An engineer in a car manufacturing company designs a world class car. The owner is impressed with the outcome and praised him a lot.
While trying to bring out the car from the manufacturing area to the showroom, they realised that the car is 2 inches taller than the entrance.
The engineer felt bad that he didn't notice this one before creating the car.
The owner was amazed on how to take it outside of the manufacturing area.
The painter said that they can bring out the car and there will be a few scratches on top of the car which could be touched up later on.
The engineer said that they can break the entrance, take the car out, and later re-do it.
The owner was not convinced with any ideas and felt like it is a bad sign to break or scratch..
A Watchman was observing all the drama & slowly approached the owner. He wanted to give an idea if they had no problem..
They wondered what this guy would tell them that the experts could not give..

The watchman said "The car is only a few inches taller than the entrance so, Simply release the air in the tyre, the height of the car will sink and can be easily taken out"...

Everyone clapped!!!
Don't analyse the problems only from an expert point of view alone..
There is always a layman's outlook that gives an alternate solution at a given point of time...
Life issues are also the same....
Release Some Air (Ego), and Adjust The Height (Attitude)..


Danny, 32 y.o.


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Nice Story

“Once when the Buddha was teaching a group of people, he found himself on the receiving end of a fierce outburst of abuse from a bystander, who was very angry for some reason.

The Buddha listened patiently while the stranger vented his rage, and then the Buddha said to the group and to the stranger, “If someone gives you a gift and you choose to decline it, tell me, who would then own the gift? The giver or you who refuses to accept the gift?”

“The giver,” said the group after a little thought. “Any fool can see that!” added the angry stranger.

“Then it follows, does it not,” said the Buddha, “Whenever a person tries to abuse us, or to unload their anger / vehemence / criticism on us, we can each choose to decline or to accept the critique. If we believe it will help us, we can make a choice. But it is always our choice – who owns and keeps the bad feelings!”

Though this story is on how to deal with someone else’s wrongful anger, misdirected at you, I believe it is equally relevant when it comes to dealing with criticism. You can choose what to keep and what not to keep.


Danny, 32 y.o.


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What is irrational and impossible behavior?

Let me share with you a story.

A female friend, tired of her irrational husband, shared this with me.

“The husband was a little low on his EQ. He couldn’t handle even a little disregard for him that often stemmed out of my exhaustion or irritation and had nothing to do with him. Once I just asked him to leave me alone for a while in the room. I was trying to avoid a fight. He just went mad when I asked him to leave. He said – why don’t I leave you forever then? Let me just jump from the balcony and free you forever. And he actually tried to jump.”

I am sure you have been in similar situations. People just going bat shit crazy because they are unable to deal with a situation that was otherwise pretty normal. But then, normal is such a relative term.

There is another story I heard about a guy who handled an irrational lady on a plane like a pro. Through this story, I am going to decode for you – the process of dealing with irrational people.


This guy was sitting beside a lady on a flight. They had a good conversation, smooth and fun. The lady seemed alright. But when the flight was taxing, she started becoming agitated and jumpy. As people got up and formed a queue to get down the plane, she became extremely afraid and sweaty. Upon asking if she was fine, she said she was feeling claustrophobic and had to get down right NOW.

The aisle was full of people. They were at the end. No way she could have gotten down immediately. And her condition was worsening. He tried to calm her down by pointing out that the line would move soon and she will be getting down. But she just became more irrational – “I would DIE if I don’t get down now.” He could see a scream building up in her. That would have freaked people out.

He told her that if she really believed she had to get off right now, she can’t panic. She would have to calmly tap on people’s shoulders, tell them it’s a medical emergency and try to get down. And she did.

So what does this tell you about irrational behavior?

When someone is being irrational, it so happens that they are most likely not thinking straight. They wouldn’t normally behave in such foolish manner in such a situation but right now, something is triggering this extreme response. The overreaction sets in an extreme need to get a need fulfilled right away. In the husband’s case, he probably took his wife’s insult as a hit on his self-respect. And his desire to prove that he was extremely important became his primal need.

Angry outbursts, unreasonable demands, hurtful words or behaviour – are all their inability to control their response to a situation. And they start believing that if they can’t flee from the situation, they need to FIGHT and WIN.

How do you fight a person who wants to win at any cost and against all logic! Here’s decoding the ways of dealing with irrational people, especially irrational spouses, family members, impossible bosses and difficult boyfriends / girlfriends –

You have a CHOICE

In life always pick your battles carefully. Not every war is yours to fight. Sometimes you can just walk away. It’s the same with your irrational family members / colleagues. You have a choice. Can you deal with later? Or, can you not deal with it at all?

The guy on the plane chose to address this because he felt it was doable for him, and the lady looked like she would snap if help didn’t come to her soon. Depends on the magnitude of the problem. My friend could not have let her husband jump. She had to step in!

So you decide. Do you think it is really irrational behaviour and could harm the person if unchecked, or is the person just being a drama queen? Do you think there is nothing else you can do for the person? Their irrationality is not your responsibility and you need not feel guilty if you ultimately decide to give up on them.

Don’t take it PERSONALLY

Irrational people will say a lot of hurtful stuff; especially when they are in one of their rages. They are hurting and they want to lessen their pain by hurling it on anyone in the vicinity. They think it will help them deal with it.

They start believing that the only way they can survive the situation is – by fighting you. Not everyone has the ability to rationalize their behaviour and calm themselves down without intervention.

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Danny, 32 y.o.


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When a bird is alive... it eats ants.

When the bird has died... ants eat it.

One tree can be made into a million matchsticks... but only one match is needed to burn a million trees!

Circumstances can change at any time... Don't devalue or hurt anyone in this life...

You may be powerful today but time is more powerful than you!

So be good and do good in this ONE LIFE.

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Danny, 32 y.o.


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Why is the international media unfair to India? - by Karolina Goswami A Polish woman

It is my humble request to all the people here to watch these two videos If you want to anything in detail about India


Danny, 32 y.o.


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9 Things You’ll Regret in 10 Years


Danny, 32 y.o.


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The Lion who thought he was a Sheep This is one of my favourite stories.

A lioness, huge with an unborn baby lion in her body, was growing weak from lack of food. Roaring with sadness and hunger, and heavy with the baby lion, the lioness fell asleep at the edge of the forest near a pasture. She woke up to the sounds of a flock of sheep grazing nearby.

Forgetting the heavy baby lion in her body, and impelled by the madness of hunger, the lioness pounced on one of the young lambs and took it into the depths of the forest. The lioness did not realize that during the exertion of her mad leap at the lamb she had given birth to the baby lion.

The flock of sheep were so paralyzed with fear by the attack of the lioness that they couldn’t run away. When the lioness had departed and the panic was over, to their great astonishment, they discovered the helpless baby lion crooning in their midst. One of the mother sheep took pity on the baby lion and adopted it as her own.


The young lion grew up amidst the flock of sheep behaving exactly like a sheep. The sheep-lion bleated instead of roaring and ate grass instead of meat. This vegetarian lion acted exactly like a weak, meek lamb.

One day, another lion strolled out of the nearby forest onto the green pasture, and to his great delight beheld this flock of sheep. Thrilled with joy and whipped by hunger, the great lion pursued the fleeing flock of sheep, when, with amazement, he saw a huge lion, with tail high up in the air, fleeing at top speed ahead of the sheep. Ignoring his hunger, he raced hard and pounced upon the escaping lion. The sheep-lion fainted with fear. The big lion was puzzled more than ever, and slapped the sheep-lion out of his swoon. In a deep voice he rebuked, “What’s the matter with you?! Why do you, my brother, flee from me?”

The sheep-lion closed his eyes and bleated out in sheep language, “Please let me go. Don’t kill me. I’m just a sheep brought up with yonder flock.” He caught the sheep-lion by the mane with his mighty jaws and dragged him toward a lake at the end of the pasture. When the big lion reached the shore of the lake, he pushed the sheep-lion’s head so that it was reflected in the water.

The big lion gave the sheep-lion a terrible shake. The sheep-lion opened his eyes, and was astonished to find that the reflection of his head was not, as he expected, a sheep’s head but a lion’s head, like that of the lion who was shaking him with his paw. Then the big lion said, “Look at my face and your face reflected in the water. They are the same. My face roars. Now! You must roar instead of bleating!”

The sheep-lion, convinced, tried to roar, but could only produce bleat-mingled roars. As the older lion continued to exhort him with slapping paws, the sheep-lion at last succeeded in roaring. Then both lions bounded across the pasture, entered the forest, and returned to the den of lions.

The story is a great metaphor for all us who bleat with fear and spend their entire lives in fears- fears of failure, fears of losing a relationship, fears of virtually anything. You could either live in fear or live with sheer confidence. Either way, you will live but with massive difference in your quality of life. You can live crouched in insecurities or you can live with dazzling self confidence that can move mountains. But don’t be in a mask worrying about your future. Don’t be a lion with a sheep’s soul. That’s a waste for both. Not realizing your full potential is like the worst thing you can do to your life (& regret when you get old)! Why would you choose such a life for yourself? Go and express yourself fully. Be a Tiger. Go Roar !

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Danny, 32 y.o.


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Michael Phelps inspiring story one of my favorite Inspirational story

If you do not know Michael Phelps and his inspiring tale of beating odds, you really need to brush up your knowledge.

He is an American swimmer, a decorated sportsperson who holds the record for the highest number of gold medals won in Olympics (2 . I did not and could not get into counting his actual medal tally. A gifted swimmer who trained equally hard to sustain his gifts, Michael is an epitome of the word sportsmanship.

It is easy to become famous, when you think of how hard it is to sustain that fame. He rose to fame and he fell too. Phelps was arrested for DUI at the age of 19. Despite his accolades and success, he was plagued by substance abuse and depression. Things went downhill as he slipped deeper into his rock bottom. A fall from that height is hard to survive. Things were so bad at one point that Phelps even contemplated suicide. It was his friend Ray Lewis who held his hand at this crucial stage and pulled him up from this mess.


He helped him with rehab and getting his life back. Phelps had been banned from all competitions because of his repeated public offences. But with help from Ray and family, he got back on his feet. He himself says, he would have never believed this day would come. He thought he was done. Finished!

Michael’s story is inspiring on many levels. It is not only quite similar to what many youngsters go through as they lose themselves in the spiral of drug abuse or anything extreme, but also a reminder of downfalls that can come at any stage in life. You could fail in the beginning, in the middle, in the end. Anywhere. But as long as you find the strength and support of few great friends and family, a comeback isn’t impossible.

Craftsmanship comes with practice. And lots of practice. Look at Lasith Malinga. He used to bowl 200 yorkers everyday(& for years) to master the craft of that delivery. Lionel Messi said he worked day in and day out for 17 years to become an overnight legend. That’s how winners are made. They rise, they fall, and they get up again. None of the overnight success stories last long. It is the slow endurance, the everyday kill and the solid foundation of a lifelong discipline that makes winners. The recent example is- Jaspreet Bumrah (The Yorker man of India right now). He practices bowling Yorkers some 3 hours a day to ensure that he gets them right in the final overs. And he gets them right too.

In this game of endurance, both mental and physical, these sports icons are examples of the limitlessness of the human mind should one wish to take notice. If they can do it, so can you.


Danny, 32 y.o.


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Lovely, lovelier story sent by a friend . SHARING !

One day a professor entered the classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They waited anxiously at their desks for the test to begin. The professor handed out the question paper, with the text facing down as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked his students to turn the page and begin. To everyone's surprise, there were no questions....just a black dot in the center of the page. The professor seeing the expression on everyone's face, told them the following:
"I want you to write what you see there."
The students confused, got started on the inexplicable task.
At the end of the class, the professor took all the answer papers and started reading each one of them aloud in front of all the students. All of them with no exceptions, described the black dot, trying to explain its position in the middle of the sheet, etc. etc. etc. After all had been read, the classroom silent, the professor began to explain:

"I am not going to grade on you this, I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot - and the same happens in our lives. We have a white paper to observe and enjoy, but we always focus on the dark spots. Our life is a gift given to us by God, with love and care, and we always have reasons to celebrate - nature renewing itself everyday, our friends around us, the job that provides our livelihood, the miracles we see everyday.......

However we insist on focusing only on the dark spots - the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, the disappointment with a friend etc etc
The dark spots are very small compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds.


Danny, 32 y.o.


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What’s age got to do with love?

For Kewal and Jaya, getting married was a decision that was fraught with roadblocks. Their families opposed the relationship, and all and sundry had something negative to say. 'It will not work', 'This is not normal', 'It will create problems in your family life'... the remarks were varied. And the reason? The age gap between them. Jaya was four years older than Kewal. However, the two fought all opposition and got married in court. If you're wondering all the ominous predictions from people came true, well, the couple recently celebrated their eighth anniversary and their relationship has only grown stronger over the years. "The key to success of our relationship is mutual respect, understanding and making efforts towards a better future. We do have our share of arguments, but at the end of the day, we sit down and discuss things like adults. We have rarely let the age factor trigger any fights between us," said Kewal.

But are Kewal and Jaya an exception? A recent study revealed that greater the age gap, greater is the risk of a break-up. According to research, those with a five-year age gap are more likely to split than an equal-age couple, while the chances double when there is a bigger age gap. Couples with an age gap of just one year were the least likely to split.

But does that stand true for India, where arranged marriages have traditionally focussed on a much bigger age difference between the husband and wife, with the husband being older to the wife? And even when the difference is much more than a year, is it necessary for the wife to be younger for the relationship to be successful? We spoke to experts to find out if age really makes a difference in a relationship.
The focus on age is reducing
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Today, the younger generation is showing a steady shift in attitude and markers, that used to be all-important, like religion, caste and age. Says Forum Lalka, clinical psychiatrist, "In the Indian context, we still adhere to the remnants of traditions towards an alliance between an older man and younger woman, but with changing times, Indian couples are now looking at the bigger picture. The age factor is becoming more and more redundant by the day." Rajiv Anand, a marriage counsellor, agrees. "Many a times, people working in the same office get emotionally and physically involved and ignore the age gap to get married, even if the wife is older than the husband," he adds.
Is there an optimum age gap?
According to Anand, couples should go the traditional way. "To ensure smooth functioning of a marriage, the husband should be three to four years older or at least one year older than his wife. Men feel that they are the uncrowned kings in the kingdom of marriage while educated and well earning girls find it hard to adjust to this fact. So, some women select a man who is of the same age or younger than them. However, this might result in rough patches as soon as the honeymoon phase is over, as the man will not want to be dictated. This will eventually lead to friction, resistance and challenges," he opines. However, Lalka feels that the age factor is only secondary. "Each marriage is a tailor-made relationship and there cannot be an optimum age gap that will suit every couple. As long as two people share an understanding, are at similar wavelengths, and deal with issues that crop up in a relationship in a mature manner, age can never threaten their bond. People can be happy, in spite of the wife being older to the husband, as long as they strive towards a common goal — a content married life."
How to tackle it?
The simple solution, says Lalka, is to keep in mind that age is just a number. The old adage, she says, is as true as you want it to be. "With more and more Indian women being financially independent, and not being bogged down by the biological clock, we see a lot of couples with older wives and younger husbands. My advice to them would be to value their partnership rather than getting influenced by what society says. They shouldn't let insecurities seep in," she concludes.
Anand says, "It depends on you and what factors you allow to affect your relationship. Your age can just be a number, if you treat it that way and don't let anything come between the two of you. Both husband and wife are equal in a relationship and there shouldn't be any sense of superiority or one-upmanship."


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